The Ring of Honor ROHPort 03.28.09

Posted by J.D. Dunn on 03.29.2009

With his brother out with an injury, Jay Briscoe sets his sights on the ROH World Champion.

Ring of Honor
by J.D. Dunn

Remember to bookmark 411Mania, preferably as your homepage. An increase in Jennifer Love Hewitt bikini pics in the Movies/TV section necessitates it.

March 28, 2009

From Philadelphia, Pa.

Your hosts are Mike Hogewood and Dave Prazak.

We get a "previously on ROH" clip like it's Dynasty or something.

Kevin Steen vs. Eddie Edwards (w/Larry Sweeney).
Sweeney is -- let's just call him intense – during the prematch promo. Steen is – let's just call him reluctant – to shake hands. Edwards has adopted his partner, Davey Richards, attire now, but he's still channeling Chris Benoit (in a good way, not the murderous way). Edwards tries shoulderblocks, but the zaftig Steen doesn't budge. Steen unleashes THE BITCHSLAP to put an end to smacktalk. Shoulderblock and SNOTTLE ROCKET by Steen. Edwards hits a back elbow and settles into the chinlock. He rips at Steen's nose, and Hogewood is shocked, SHOCKED I SAY, that Edwards would stoop to such a level. Steen reverses a whip and kicks the middle rope into Edwards' balls. An atomic drop sets up the Gargoyle Suplex. Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. CANNONBALL! Edwards gets the knees up to block the flipping senton. Enzuigiri by Edwards sets up the backpack stunner. Edwards charges… right into a superkick. Steen powerbombs him and finishes with the Packaged Piledriver at 7:55. Steen toned things down quite a bit personality-wise, which is fine by me because he takes some getting used to. I also like how, so far at least, they're going back to all their basic moves to acclimate new viewers to their movesets. **1/4

Kyle Durden interviews Nigel McGuinness who goes all "Rory Breaker" on us in his pre-match promo. If you don't know what that means, get better taste in movies.

Sara Del Rey (w/Larry Sweeney) vs. Daizee Haze.
I like how they label Daizee the "plucky underdog," as if her tiny frame and happy music don't indicate that. Daizee uses her speed to avoid Del Rey early, but Del Rey uses her rather sizable hip advantage to squash Daizee in the corner. She super snapmares Daizee off the top. Haze slips out of a slam and runs up the ropes into an armdrag. She slips off the ropes off a bodypress attempt, but Del Rey hits a fallaway into a bridge. You know, they could have edited that. Del Rey gets two and starts in on her back. The Cutthroat Rack puts more pressure on Daizee's back. Daizee slips out and hits the Heart Punch. FLYING YAKUZA KICK! Del Rey goes for a tilt-o-whirl, but Daizee lands on her for two. Daizee gets a facebuster, but Del Rey hits a Kappou Kick to put her down. That sets up the Royal Butterfly at 5:30. Some sloppy spots weighed this down, but they also worked in some great stuff that only Beth Phoenix seems to try in the WWE. With TNA poaching most of SHIMMER, I'm not sure how much impact the "Women of Honor" will have on ROH TV. **

The Briscoes show off the fine dentistry of the State of Delaware and tell Nigel he better MAN UP! Nice to hear them work in "sumbitch," which went out of vogue after Steve Austin left wrestling.

Prince Nana has returned, and he will unleash Bison Smith on ROH. Can JIMMEE RAVE, THE CROWN JOO-ELL be far behind?

Claudio Castagnoli vs. Alex "Sugarfoot" Payne.
Sadly, Sweeney is not there to call him "Sugartits." Payne didn't really look ready for primetime in this. Cah-stag-nolly, as Hogewood calls him, takes him down and blocks his sunset flip attempt. Payne gets a number of rollups, but that's about it. Claudio DRILLS him with the Bicycle Kick. FUCK ALL ARMENIAN! Payne hits a few dropkicks, and Claudio misses a charge. A European Uppercut puts Payne out, though, and the Ricolabomb finishes at 6:20. Extended squash for Claudio. Payne is okay, but he probably shouldn't be getting this much offense in on an upper midcard guy. *1/4

Non-Title: Nigel McGuinness vs. Jay Briscoe (w/Mark Briscoe).
Nigel schools Jay on the mat early as the crowd is divided 50/50. Finally, Jay escapes and hits a shoulderblock. Nigel zeroes in on Jay's arm. Jay fights back with a leg lariat, but Nigel is singularly minded. Jay slugs back, but Nigel Hammerlock DDTs him. Jay fires back with his good arm, but Nigel tosses him overhead with a wristlock. Nigel goes for the kill, but Jay is in the ropes. Nigel grabs the shinni no make. Jay hulks up and avoids a lariat. A boot by Jay sets up the spinebuster. He misses a charge, and Nigel goes for the Tower of London. Jay escapes and nails him with the Yakuza. That sets up a Death Valley Driver. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! McGuinness catches him going up, and they fight on top. Jay shoves him off and hits the flying guillotine legdrop! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Nigel blocks the Jaydriller, and they knock heads as both guys lose track of one another. Nigel falls backwards but rebounds with the JAWBREAKER LARIAT at 12:13. Good character psychology here as Jay is, perhaps not surprisingly, not the greatest strategist. Nigel, on the other hand, had one goal in mind, and that was to work the arm. It paid off as Jay's offense was limited down the stretch and he was open to the lariat. **3/4

The 411: Another solid show, although nothing special. They're really only paying lip service to the feuds in ROH, and that might be by design. They seem to be focusing on introducing the major players before throwing out any major angles. Where these guys come from is a major part of their characterization, though, and we're not quite getting that. Trimming a few minutes of wrestling in favor of another video package or two would go a long way toward introducing these guys.