The Ring of Honor ROHPort (04.11.09)

Posted by J.D. Dunn on 04.12.2009

Jerry Lynn takes on one big mothertrucker.

Ring of Honor
by J.D. Dunn
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April 11, 2009

From Philadelphia, Pa.

Your hosts are Mike Hogewood and Dave Prazak.

Austin Aries vs. Kenny Omega.
Omega comes off as constantly high to me. Aries is trying to rebound after a tough loss to Bryan Danielson. The crowd is all over him for tapping out… and for being "Austin Starr" in TNA… and for being an asshole. The guy just can't win. Aries gets all flashy to escape a wristlock. Kenny gets flashy too, but it's too much for his own good as he does 2-3 flips just to get away from Aries only to have Aries block his rana. Omega fires back with chops and hits a palm strike that knocks Aries over the top. Omega scales the ropes, but Aries pulls him off. Back in, Aries locks in the nerve pinch. Look at him. He's what would happen if Jesus knew Haku. Gutbuster into the STO by Aries. That sets up the Pendulum Elbow. Stump puller allows Aries to play to the crowd. Omega blocks the Brainbuster and hits the Enzuigiri. POLISH HAMMERS! The leapfrog Fameasser sets up the Omegaplex, but Aries blocks. Omega avoids a charge and dumps Aries. MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR! That gets two back inside. Aries grabs the ropes to block another Omegaplex attempt. Omega goes for one again, but Aries rakes the eyes. IED and punt to the head set up the Brainbuster at 10:58! Aries gets back on the winning track, and if they lose Danielson to MMA for an extended period, they should go all in with Aries as their lead TV star. Solid match, although Omega's offense sometimes looks forced. Slap the porpoise! **1/4

Delirious vs. Ernie Osiris.
Delirious is listed as a former member of the Age of the Fall, but since angles don't make it to TV, we don't know how that happened. GET ON THAT HDNET! We do see Prince Nana approach Osiris during his opening promo, but Nana isn't at ringside. Osiris' gimmick is that he's a filthy hobo, thus ensuring a comedy match with Delirious. Delirious grabs Ernie's beard at one point. Ernie comes back with the Macho Man slingshot clothesline. Back in, Delirious destroys him with clotheslines in the corner. Ernie slips the TKO and knees Delirious in the head for two. Delirious counters a top-rope move with the headbutt, though, and the Panic Attack finishes at 5:02. Delirious' stint with the Age of the Fall did little to freshen up his character, and Ernie's "Pigpen" routine is just weird. Verbally abuse a woodchuck! It's over! *

Kyle Durden interviews Jimmy Jacobs and Brodie Lee. Lee is a big, filthy trucker. What is it with the non-hygienic gimmicks? Sadly, no one shows up to call Brodie "Big Daddy Cool" and go, "Toot! Toot! TOOOOOOOOT!"

Daizee Haze & Neveah vs. Sara Del Rey & Sassie Stephie (w/Larry Sweeney).
Weird thing about wrestling politics – Neveah is partners with Ashley Lane (aka Madison Rayne in TNA) in SHIMMER, and they're even the tag champs. But Rayne can't appear for ROH because of her commitments to TNA. So we have the SHIMMER Tag Champions also wrestling for two separate promotions as individuals. Another thing that might be helpful for TV is explaining how there is an all-women's promotion that partners with ROH. This is pretty much just to get Del Rey over as one mean bitch as she destroys both the faces when it's a fair fight. They do a nice doubleteam necktie takedown on her. Stephie can't catch a break, though, thus earning the ire of Sweeney and Del Rey. Haze hits the Heart Punch and flying Yakuza on Stephie. Del Rey breaks it up but gets dropkicked to the floor by Neveah. That allows Haze to hit the Mind Trip (snapmare DDT) on Stephie for the win at around 5:00. Del Rey looks like a beast, and the babyfaces looked like good plucky underdogs. Poor Stephie failed in her Sweet 'n' Sour audition, though. Give a monkey a purple nurple! *1/2

Jerry Lynn vs. Brodie Lee.
Hogewood points out that this was taped before Lynn won the title. Odd that they didn't point out the American Wolves' title win. Hopefully, that's just a product of when it was taped rather than not caring about the tag titles. This reminded me of a Bret Hart vs. Diesel match, and not just because of the trucker gimmick. Lynn keeps using his wiles to escape Brodie, but Brodie is A) very big, and B) quicker than you'd expect. Lee hits a Michinoku Driver for two. To the floor, Brodie tries a powerbomb, but Lynn backdrops out of it. Now, Jimmy Jacobs sneaks out to attack Lynn. Back in, Brodie grabs a bearhug to work over Lynn's back. Lynn elbows out of it and avoids a big boot. Jimmy is getting impatient with Brodie Lee as Lynn hits a huracanrana. Lynn hits a missile dropkick and dives out on top of Lee. Jacobs is apoplectic. Lynn legdrops Brodie on the way back in. Lynn goes up, but Brodie catches him with the Butterfly Superplex! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Lynn avoids another big boot but runs into the Bossman Slam. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Lynn manages to roll Brodie up out of nowhere to pick up the win at 12:57. Destroy an ocelot's sense of self-worth! Jacobs has a puss-on. Somewhere in between the awful Bret/Diesel Rumble match and their better matches at Summerslam and Survivor Series. You had Lynn, the wily vet trying to outsmart the big dumb lumbering ox. It worked for what it was. **1/2

The 411: Easily the weakest of the series so far, and it comes on the heels of the strongest episode. They need to develop some sort of pecking order for TV for any new viewers. Who is the lead heel? Who is the lead babyface? Hopefully, they bring back the #1 contender rankings or something as part of HDNet's dedication to verisimilitude. I'm looking forward to seeing the adjustments they make for the second round of tapings.