411's WWE Raw Report 06.15.09

Posted by Rob McNew on 06.15.2009

Randy Orton regains the WWE Championship, CM Punk retains the World Heavyweight Championship, and Vince sells Monday Night Raw. Who's the sucker who bought this crap? Find out inside...



-So tonight we get a pay per view quality edition of Monday Night Raw with FOUR Championships on the line, A new WWE Champion guaranteed, and Vince McMahon's announcement of a new general manager. On paper this appears to be light years ahead of previous week's Raw's so we shall certainly see if this one can live up to the hype. It's going to be a long night, but hopefully in a good way.

-Live from Time Warner Cable Arena in Charlotte, NC

-Hosted by Michael Cole, Jerry "The King" Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Josh Mathews, & Matt Striker

-Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler announce that Vince McMahon is in the building to announce a new GM, but Jerry Lawler has heard rumors that he is here for something else. I'm not sure I like the sound of that.

-Recap package of the events of last week, and the return of Triple H.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Chris Jericho © vs. Rey Mysterio
I'd like to point out that about two months ago Chris Jericho cut a promo stating he would "never appear on Raw ever again." So who's the hypocrite now Chris? Jericho says ever since he was drafted to Smackdown the show has gone into the toilet. He says the show has gone into a tailspin the likes of which it will never recover. Well I can't argue with the man there. He says someday we'll recognize what he meant to this show, and how immense his talent really is. Someday Rey Mysterio will realize what he says is the truth. That his mask will be his downfall and only Chris Jericho can be his savior and set him free. Mysterio takes Jericho down with a double leg takedown, and then hits a reverse hurracanrana off the second rope. A clothesline sends Jericho over the top to the floor, and then Rey catches him with a kick on the way in. Rey drops a leg off the top rope as Jericho comes in and gets a two count. Jericho comes back to smack Rey off the ringpost, but gets kicked to the floor again. Rey dives off the apron into a hurracanrana, but gets thrown into the announce table as we head to break. I should note that they showed a graphic stating the WWE Title match was just 35 minutes away. I don't like the sound of that. You can feel the bait and switch coming a mile away. Back from break as Rey is elbowing out of a chinlock from Jericho. Mysterio hits an enzaguri sending Jericho into position for the 619. Rey goes for it, but Jericho is up and hits a spinning firemans carry backbreaker for a two count. Jericho goes for the mask, but Rey is able to bail. Back inside Jericho goes for the mask again, but gets kicked away by Rey. Rey flips out of a sunset flip attempt, and delivers a dropkick to the face of Jericho. Hurracanrana connects for Rey, and that is followed by a springboard seated senton for two. Jericho goes for a bulldog, but gets shoved into the ringpost. Rey follows with a dropkick sending Jericho to the floor. Suicide dive connects by Rey, and both men are down on the floor. Rey fires Jericho back inside, and heads to the top rope. Jericho catches him up there, but Rey fights him off and hits a sunset flip off the top for two. Jericho sits back on a rana attempt from Rey for two, and goes for the Walls. Rey pushes out into a 619 attempt which is blocked by Jericho putting Rey in the ropes. Jericho decides to go for the 619 himself, but Rey hits him with a springboard moonsault for a two count. Rey sends Jericho into the ropes again for the 619, and this time it connects. Jericho goes for the west coast pop, but Jericho catches him and grabs for the mask. That distraction allows Jericho to hit the codebreaker to retain at 9:39. Awesome start to the action tonight.
Winner: STILL WWE Intercontinental Champion-Chris Jericho (Pinfall-Codebreaker ***1/4)


-Josh Mathews is joined by Randy Orton for his thoughts. Orton says everyone knows what happened last week, and says six weeks ago he put Triple H out. The same thing he did to Batista and Ric Flair. Orton says HHH came with a sledgehammer because he knows he can't get to him on his own. He says in a matter of minutes he will take back the title, and HHH will be irrelevant. John Cena interrupts and dismisses Josh. Cena sarcastically in reporter voice, that everyone will be talking about Orton. He says people won't be talking about Orton regaining the WWE title, but rather why a WWE Superstar with so much talent continues to be such a gutless, spineless, grand wizard of the Baby Oil Boys Club. I don't necessarily care for Cena's over the top delivers, but Baby Oil Boys Club is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. He reminds Orton that there are two more people in that match, and he thinks he can speak for Big Show when he says that if he thinks they are going to take the night off so Orton and HHH can settle their differences then that baby oil he rubs all over himself is starting to rot his brain.

-Vince says he's here to announce a new GM of Monday Night Raw, and he says after much deliberation he's not going to announce the new General Manager of Raw. He will allow someone else to do it. He says when opportunity knocks, you have to seize it. He says when someone gives you an offer you can't refuse, no matter what, don't refuse it. He announces that he is SELLING MONDAY NIGHT RAW!?!?! This could either be incredible, or terrible. Lawler asks who he sold it to, and he says he'll make his announcement right after the match.

ECW Championship: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer ©
So the WWE Title match is in roughly 10-15 minutes, and this one is on now? Getting them all out of the way early, huh? Christian hits a spinning heel kick for one, and then Tommy is back with a neckbreaker for one of his own. Christian hits a back elbow off the second rope for two, and then throws Tommy to the floor. Springboard crossbody from Christian off the second rope all the way to the floor connects, and he rolls Tommy back inside for one. They show the graphic stating 10 minutes until the WWE title match, which is curious considering that we just heard this is one fall to a finish. Christian goes for a DDT, but his thrown away by Tommy who hits an inverted DDT for two. Christian powers Tommy into the corner, but gets hit with a clothesline by Dreamer for two. Christian hits a bicycle kick in the corner, and then goes for a sunset flip off the top for two. Christian slaps Tommy, and heads up top again, but leapfrogs Tommy. Christian appears to injure his knee on the jump, but goes for the killswitch. Tommy reverses into a back suplex attempt, but Christian flips out. Christian again grabs for his knee, and Tommy small packages him for the pin at just 3:25. Well that was a waste of time.
Winner: STILL ECW Champion-Tommy Dreamer (Pinfall-Small Package *1/4)

-The Bellas and Kelly Kelly talk about who bought Raw, and they discuss possibilities. I feel dumber for having watched them speak.

-Recap of the attack on Batista, and then we get photos of his surgery.

Vacant WWE Championship Fatal Four Way Match: Randy Orton vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena vs. Triple H
Again, the placement of this match has me worried. Hell about a third of the audience won't tune in until its half over. Guess who pairs off with who? Yeah, big shock. HHH chases Orton to the floor, while Show attacks Cena in the corner. HHH clotheslines Orton into the timekeeper table, as Show throws Cena to the floor. HHH gets in the ring, and faces off with Show as we head to commercial. Back from break with Orton stomping HHH in one corner, and Show choking out Cena in his corner. Orton misses a knee drop on HHH, and rolls to the floor while Show charges into the boot of Cena. HHH hits a facebuser on Show, and the baby faces hit Show with a series of clotheslines. Flying shoulderblock by Cena sends Show to the floor leaving HHH and Cena in the ring together. They staredown, and lockup with HHH hitting a shoulderblock. Cena comes back with a pair of flying shoulderblocks, and a protoplex. Cena goes for the five knuckle shuffle, but runs into a spinebuster. HHH goes for the pedigree, but Cena counters into an Attitude Adjustment. HHH slides down, and Show is back in with a double clothesline to both guys. Orton slides back in and takes HHH to the floor, and Show hits Cena with a suplex. Orton fires HHH into the ringsteps, and Show pounds away at Cena inside. Cena ducks a right hand and goes for a slam, but Show collapses on Cena. Orton makes the save at two, and then bails from an angry Show. Show goes for a chokeslam on both HHH and Cena, but they block it and deliver a double suplex instead. Orton slides in and takes out both faces, and then goes for a punt on Show. Show catches the foot, and then fires Orton to the corner delivers a series of fists and a chop. Clotheslines meet all three guys, and he follows with headbutts for everyone. Show piefaces Orton over the top rope, and then picks up Cena with a bodyslam. Show goes for the Vader Bomb which connects, but Orton is in to make the save at two. Show casually fires Orton outside, and then turns around with a spear to HHH getting a two count. If you're scoring at home a spear by Edge finishes matches, but a spear by Show is just a near fall. Oooookay. Show goes for the Vader Bomb on HHH, but comes up empty as HHH moves. Orton slides inside and goes for the RKO on Show, but gets thrown away. HHH hits a pedigree on Show, but Cena then hits the Attitude Adjustment on HHH. Cena covers Show and gets a two count, but then hits the Attitude Adjustment on Show. Orton makes the save, and fires Cena shoulder first into the ringpost. RKO by Orton connects and that finishes things at 11:15 giving Orton his fifth WWE Title. Wow, didn't see that coming. I'm still not sure he leaves Raw tonight Champion for some reason. Match was absolutely tremendous. The shortened time frame allowed for near constant action, and an absolutely frenetic finishing sequence.
Winner: NEW WWE Champion-Randy Orton (Pins Show-RKO ***3/4)

-Vince McMahon is out to announce the new owner of Raw. Vince says tonight he comes to us with a heavy heart, and he's done a lot of soul searching. He says at this stage of his career he's made the right decision to sell Monday Night Raw. He says it will be independently owned and operated by a man who he has a personal history with. He says he's been compensated in overwhelming fashion, and introduces via satellite the new owner of Monday Night Raw…DONALD TRUMP?!?! Trump says he is now the sole owner of Monday Night Raw, and tonight he will do something that has never been done before or seen before. The crowd is shitting all over this. Trump says its time WWE Universe got something back, and his first act is to do something that has never been done before. Next week Raw will be presented commercial free. Vince thinks he's lost his mind, but Trump says he's going to be at Raw next week to oversee things. Vince wants to give his farewell address, but he's too emotional to do that now so that will be next week. Vince says he's still in charge tonight, and we will see a 10 man battle royal to see who faces Orton at The Bash. Well you people didn't want Flair, and you didn't get Flair…you got worse. I can't quite put in to words how fucking stupid that was. Does this mean that Trips will be marrying Ivanka now?

Mickie James vs. Rosa Mendes
Rosa asks Beth to let her come out on her own for this one. Maryse comes out to get a closer look. Mickie delivers a series of forearms at the outset, and heads to the top rope but Rosa bails to the floor. Mickie pulls her to the apron by her hair, but Rosa drops Mickie down on the top rope. Rosa comes in with a spinning neckbreaker for two, and then rubs Mickie's face in the mat. Rosa chokes out Mickie on the second rope, and grabs a reverse chinlock. Mickie comes out of that with a forearm, and then sidesteps a charge from Rosa in the corner. A trio of jumping clotheslines connects for Mickie which she follows with a low dropkick for two. Rosa comes back with a knee to the mid section, but Mickie is right back with the jumping DDT which picks up the victory at 2:49. Maryse starts to get in the ring, but thinks better of it.
Winner: Mickie James (Pinfall-DDT *)

-Goldust and Hornswoggle are shooting t-shirts into the crowd as we return from break. Miz interrupts the fun, and says he has a message for Donald Trump. Miz says if he is really sure about taking Raw to the next level then the new face of Monday Night Raw is The Miz. He says John Cena is a face of the past, and says he is the moneymaker of the present and future. He says he'd back up everything he said about Cena and he did. Cena was laid unconscious in the middle of the ring, and tonight he will throw him over the top rope and earn a WWE Championship match at The Bash. He says he won't stop at the championship. He wants it all. He wants his face to be on anything and everything, and we will be eating it up and begging for more. He asks why Horny and Goldust are still in the ring, and Goldust says he's been watching him try to play mind games with Cena. Goldust asks where his imagination is, and where his creativity. He says he once gave Ahmed Johnson mouth to mouth to get in his head, and all Miz does is run his. He says "Cena bad, I'm awesome" mockingly and says he should change his name from Miz to whiz. He says when he talks that's what everyone gets up to do. Hornswoggle whispers to Goldust that the real reality check is that Miz is a loser. Miz tells Goldust he's in no position to tell him how to succeed in this business. He asks if this is his fourth or fifth go around in WWE. He says Goldust was fun in 1999, but he's irrelevant right now. He tells him now he's a t-shirt shooting sideshow. He says he'd beat Goldust down now, but no one would care. He says he's going to show Trump that unlike Cena he's not afraid to take risks. He attacks Goldust, and then steals the t-shirt gun from Hornswoggle. He tells Horny to get on his knees, and then shoots him in the nuts from point blank range with the t-shirt gun.

-Josh Mathews is with CM Punk who has "MISAWA" written on his wrist tape. Nice gesture. He says a year ago he was on Raw, and when he cashed in on Edge everyone loved him for it. Instead he cashed in on Jeff so he's supposed to have some morality crisis. He says luckily for him most of the WWE Universe agrees with him, but a very vocal minority agrees doesn't like it. Matt Hardy interrupts to tell him not to regret anything he did, and if he had the chance he'd do the same thing. Punk buries him saying that would be hard considering he's never won MITB, and never been a World Champion once let alone twice. He tells Matt they're not friends and not to come in here and empathize with him. Great promo from Punk as he continues to walk that tweener line.

World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk ©
Mixed reaction for Punk which is to be expected, as Hardy is definitely the crowd favorite in his home state. Hardy attacks Punk at the bell, and throws him head first into Edge. Each guy hits quick roll ups for two apiece, and then Punk clotheslines Edge to the floor. Punk hits a suicide dive on Edge, but Hardy comes out with a tope taking out both guys. Hardy covers Punk back in the ring for two, but then charges into a boot in the corner. Punk hits a clothesline for two, and then a quick elbow drop gets another two. Punk grabs a reverse chinlock, but Edge is back in with big boots for both guys. Edge fires Hardy to the floor, and covers Punk for a two count. Edge delivers a pair of forearms, and then fires Punk into the turnbuckle. Edge sets Punk up on the top rope, and then goes up for a superplex. Hardy catches Edge and throws him back to the mat before heading up for a superplex attempt of his own. Edge picks up Hardy off the ropes, and he and Punk go for a doomsday device. Hardy ducks the clothesline from Punk and rolls up Edge for a two count. Hardy and Edge both hit Punk with a clothesline and with that we head to commercial. Back from break with Punk delivering a series of elbows to Edge. Punk hits a kneelift, and then a spinning heel kick as Hardy lays on the floor. Hardy rolls back in, but gets hit with a running knee from Punk. Running knee connects to Edge, and then a running bulldog connects to Edge with a clothesline to Hardy at the same time. Punk covers both for two counts, and then picks up Hardy for the GTS. Edge breaks that up with a chop block, and then locks in the sharpshooter on Punk. Hardy grabs a sleeperhold on Edge while he still has the sharpshooter locked on Punk. Edge finally releases the sharpshooter, and Hardy covers Edge for a two count when Punk makes the save. Hardy gets whipped to the corner, but then Edge whips Punks into Hardy. Edge charges into a sunset flip from Punk which is aided by a Hardy clothesline. Hardy breaks up the count, and then hits a dropkick to both men with a cover to Punk for two. Punk comes back with a counter kick on Hardy, and then goes for a suplex on Edge from the apron. Hardy slides to the floor and pulls Edge down sending Punk to the mat. Hardy goes for the swanton, but gets shoved off the top by Edge who slides inside. Edge charges with the spear, but runs into a powerslam by Punk for a two count. Punk goes for the GTS on Edge, but he slides down the back and shoves Punk into Hardy. Punk goes for the GTS on Hardy, but lets him go and Edge spears Hardy. Edge covers, but Punk makes the save. Punk delivers a pair of forearms to Edge, and then goes for the running knee which is ducked by Edge who sends Punk over the top to the floor bashing his knee against the ringsteps. That looks like it might be a legit injury. Trainers are out to check on Punk, as Hardy and Edge do a double knockout spot inside. Hardy hits the whisper in the wind on Edge, but Punk slides in to make the save. Hardy rolls outside and works over the injured leg thus guaranteeing the injury is a work. Hardy slides back in and gets a small package from Edge for two. Hardy hits the twist of fate, and heads to the top for the swanton on Edge. Punk makes the save pulling Hardy to the floor and firing him into the ringstep. Punk rolls in and covers Edge picking up the win at 15:38. Assuming that injury was a work this was tremendous booking as Punk is now out opportuning the opportunist. Incredible match.
Winner: STILL World Heavyweight Champion-CM Punk (Pins Edge-Swanton by Hardy ****)

-Teddy Long comes out to announce that Punk's next title defense will be at The Bash one on one with Jeff Hardy.

The Hart Dynasty (w. Natalya) vs. The Colons
Dibiase and Rhodes are out on commentary for this one, and it appears the Legacy budget has been increased as they have new music and finally have t-shirts for both of them. Of course Cody's is sleeveless, but beggers can't be choosers. They announce a Tag Title match between Legacy and The Colons at the Bash. Smith starts with Primo and hits a shoulderblock, and then whips him into the corner. Primo botches a hurracanrana out of the corner, and then hits a low dropkick. Kidd crucifixes Primo around the rope, and that distraction allows Smith to hit a dropkick. Smith grabs a reverse chinlock, and then misses a second rope legdrop attempt. Tag to Carlito who springboards in with a clothesline. Smith ducks a clothesline, but gets hit with a springboard back elbow. Kidd makes the save at two, but then gets pulled to the floor by Primo who goes over the top rope after him. Smith goes for a running powerslam, but Carlito slides down the back and delivers a backcracker. That looks to finish, but Legacy runs in for the DQ instead at 2:23. Legacy delivers the quickest beatdown in recorded history, and fire the Colons outside.
Winners: The Colons (Disqualification-Outside Interference *)

-Earlier tonight Vince McMahon won his second straight Gooker award from Wrestlecrap.

-Santino is with Vince McMahon, and Vince says he came into his office to tell him something and wants to know what it is. Santino wants to know if they all still have jobs. He says what if there was a superstar who had a twin sister who everyone thought was the same person? Vince says Donald Trump might like his sister, but Vince will have no influence. Vince's phone rings (with No Chance in Hell ringtone) and its Trump. He wants to make an announcement tonight right after the battle royal. Vince says if there is one thing he can't stand it's a billionaire with a massive ego. Santino mumbles under his breath that he must hate himself. Then he tries to cover his tracks by saying next to Trump Vince isn't even that rich. He then tries various ways of making up to no avail.

10 Man Number One Contender Battle Royal-Participants: Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes, Montel Vontavious Porter, Matt Hardy, William Regal, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, The Big Show, Triple H, & John Cena
This is kind of like that battle royal on Saturday Night's Main Event right before Wrestlemania III that featured Andre The Giant, Hulk Hogan, and 18 guys that didn't matter. Here its Cena and Trips playing the roles of Hogan and Andre. Hercules won that battle royal though, so maybe we're in for a surprise. Since its his second appearance of the evening Triple H gets to use his alternate theme. Sadly Cena doesn't answer with Thugganomics. Wait for it…wait for it…BIG BRAWL TO START! Show destroys Miz with a few chops, as Orton strolls out to take a closer look. If you've seen one of these you've seen them all. Everyone pairs off and hangs out on the top rope. Legacy double teams Trips in the corner, as Cena tries to throw out Show with no success. Kofi tries to toss Regal, but is unsuccessful. Miz chokes out Cena in the corner, as Show delivers a thunderous chop to Kofi. Miz and Hardy nearly have Cena eliminated until Show inexplicably makes the save so he can have him. Show starts handing out headbutts and clotheslines to everyone, and finally Hardy thinks better of things sliding to the floor. Show casually picks him up and into the ring, before throwing him right back out. MVP charges with a drive by kick, but goes over the top to the apron. An elbow from Show sends him to the floor and back to the locker room. The remaining six guys team up to toss Show as we head to commercial. Back from break with Cena and HHH both in trouble. Cena fends off Legacy, and HHH fights back against Regal. Legacy regains control over Cena, but Kofi comes over to lend a hand. Cena dumps Cody to the apron, but he is able to roll back inside. Legacy continues the double team on Cena, and Kofi gets some offense on The Game. Kofi hits the ropes, but runs into a high knee from HHH. Legacy surrounds HHH, and Regal goes and works over Cena. Kofi saves Cena again by delivering a back suplex to Regal, and Cena then goes and saves Trips by taking out Legacy. Cody comes back with a series of boots to Cena, and Kofi tries to dump Dibiase. Regal attacks HHH, as Cody comes free of Cena to run across and save Ted. Regal gets a spinebuster from HHH, and with everyone taken out Cena and HHH staredown again. Finally they trade blows in the center with HHH getting the better of things with a knee lift. HHH tries to dump Cena, but Cody puts a stop to that. Cena goes for an Attitude Adjuster to send HHH out, but he is able to slide off and both guys take each other with a clothesline. Back to the midcard portion of the match as Kofi fights off Legacy before getting hit with snake eyes from Dibiase and a double clothesline sends him out. Legacy delivers the gayest high fives you'll ever see before Regal attacks them from behind. They are able to fight him off and toss Regal leaving just HHH, Cena, and Legacy. Rhodes and Cena pair off in one corner with HHH and Dibiase in the other. Rhodes puts Cena down long enough to turn their attention to HHH. Flap jack connects to Cena, and they go back to HHH in the corner. They pound HHH down, but Cena is back with a running bulldog to Dibiase. Clothesline connects to Rhodes, and then a fisherman suplex to Dibiase. Cena connects with a backdrop to Cody, and then he is able to fire Dibiase over the top to the floor. Cena throws out Cody, but he skins the cat and comes back in. HHH casually clotheslines him out to leave just him and Cena. Cena goes for the AA, but its countered by HHH into a Pedigree. Legacy runs back in to attack HHH, but get thrown out by the officials. Finally MIZ EMERGES FROM UNDER THE RING. He was never eliminated!!! I got excited for a second, but then quickly came to my sense as Miz attacks with a running fail and goes right over the top rope to the floor. HHH then throws out Cena to win the match and set up Orton-HHH part 9180189015893049 to the delight of absolutely no one at 17:37. Trump comes on and says the Orton-HHH match will not be at The Bash, but next week on Raw in a last man standing match. Well that's great, but does anyone realize that Raw still doesn't have a main event for the pay per view? You know that show people PAY you to see? Oh well, as far as battle royals go this one was pretty good, but that's not saying much.
Winner: Triple H (last eliminates Cena **1/2)

-Have you ever heard the saying that "The sum is greater than its parts?" Well this show was the opposite of that. Judged on its own independent of everything else going on this was a great show. Three terrific matches, and a fourth that wasn't too shabby either is all you can ask for on television. However as far as the overall direction of the show, and what was expected out of this show in particular it was a huge failure. The Donald Trump thing is one of the dumbest plot twists in history, and can't possibly end well. Hell it didn't even begin well. We get HHH-Orton for the title AGAIN in a feud that in no way NEEDS the title. MVP and Miz, the two guys who it appears some effort is being put into both looked like chumps in the battle royal. All in all a huge chance to start things going in the right direction misfired BIG TIME tonight.