411's WWE Raw Report 06.22.09

Posted by Rob McNew on 06.22.2009

The first and probably last ever commercial free Raw sees Randy Orton retain the WWE Championship in a draw with HHH, John Cena finally lose to Big Show with an assist from The Miz, and Vince buys back Raw. The fans in Green Bay got their money back, but can we get our time back?

-So tonight the Donald Trump era begins live from Green Bay on the first ever commercial free edition of Monday Night Raw. Triple H goes after the WWE Championship in a last man standing match against the new Champion Randy Orton, and the Donald will make a live appearance. Vince also promised a farewell address, and oh yeah there is a pay per view Sunday.

-Live from the Resch Center in Green Bay, WI

-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry "The King" Lawler

-Trump has been added to the open, and the set is now adorned with the Trump logo. The logo for Raw now also has the Trump logo included.

-Donald Trump is out to open the show, and is accompanied by Kelly Kelly. Trump welcomes us to Monday Night Raw, and says that even though he is the owner it is our show. He says to show us about that millions of people will watch commercial free, and more importantly for the fans in attendance he is going to refund everyone in attendance whatever they paid for tickets. Trump says we will see the greatest matches in the World for nothing. Does this mean Smackdown is on tonight? He says $245,000 is the gate and he's giving it all back. The crowd seems to like that.

-John Cena is out next in new John Deere themed attire, and says he is taking his hat off to take Trump because tonight we get to see a World Title match between HHH and Orton and we're going commercial free. He says tonight he even put him in a match with Big Show. Really? I hate Trump already. He says Trump is trying to make a statement, and that reminds him of a certain superstar in particular. That takes us to a recap of MIz's antics from the past few weeks. Miz says Cena's always got something interesting to say, so he asks Miz to come out and see what he has to say this week. Miz comes out, and says there is nothing more to say. He's said everything to say to Cena, and he's done nothing because he's a coward. Cena says that's interesting from a guy standing on the ramp while he's in the ring. Miz then goes to the ring to get face to face with Cena and again calls him a coward. Cena says normally this would be the portion of the show where Miz begins to pick up his own teeth. Cena says we're not going to that though, but instead he's going to give Miz what he wants. Cena says for the first time ever The Miz will main event a pay per view when he wrestles John Cena, but the bad news is Miz has a main event match with Cena. Cena says for two months Miz has said anything to get him riled up, and asks him if he knows who he is. He says he went into the Hammerstein Ballroom and came out alive, he's been booed out of the hall of fame, and he's had 85,000 people tell him he can't wrestle on the grandest stage of them all and he's still here. Cena says he doesn't get rattled, but asks Miz if he knows what rattled is. He says rattled will be when Miz gets in the ring Sunday and he looks around realizing he brought a knife to a gun fight. Cena says in six days Miz will realize doesn't belong here, and The Real World has been cancelled. Six more days until he finds out what everyone else already knows. He's not a reality show has been, but a WWE never was. Cena says now is the part of the show where he puts his tail between his legs and goes back to the locker room and pray. Pray that he makes it out of Sunday in one piece. Miz takes a cheap shot at Cena, and then runs to the locker room as Cena laughs it off. Strong promo from Cena totally burying Miz, but I'll tell you what. After that promo Miz absolutely has to win Sunday.

-Earlier today Vince's limo broke down in front of the arena, and he tries to force his limo driver to give him a piggy back ride to the arena.

-Jim Ross and Todd Grisham are at the announce table with a bucket of Kentucky Grilled Chicken. Commercial Free my ass.

Jeff Hardy, The Great Khali, & Rey Mysterio (w. Runjin Singh) vs. Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler, & Edge
One of these is not like the others, one of these just doesn't belong. CM Punk, shockingly not holding a Pepsi, joins the announce team as Khali starts with Ziggler. Khali chops away at Ziggler before bailing to his corner, and tagging Jericho. Jericho smacks Khali to little effect, and gets a big chop for his trouble. Khali sends all three heels over the top to the floor, and then gives way to Jeff Hardy to hits a sommersault tope on to the heels. Mysterio heads inside and dives off Khali's shoulders with a splash. Khali starts to head to the top rope, but is stopped by Jericho. Khali regains control quickly, and tags in Mysterio who hits an enzaguri setting up 619. Edge trips up Mysterio as Punk asks if he can partake in the chicken at the announce table. Ziggler tags in and drops a knee on Rey for a two count. Tag to Edge who misses a dropkick, and then gets a spin kick by Rey. Tags to Hardy and Ziggler follow and Jeff hits a pair of clotheslines. Jeff knocks Edge and Jericho off the apron, and drops a leg on the mid section of Hardy. Edge comes in with a spear to Hardy, but is met by Khali who goes for the Punjabi Plunge. That is stopped by Jericho who goes for a codebreaker that is blocked by the big man. Edge comes back with a spear to Khali, but Rey dropkicks Edge into 619 position. Drop toehold also sets up Jericho for it, but he is able to bail to the floor leaving only Edge to take the move. Mysterio hits an Asai Moonsault to Jericho on the floor leaving just Ziggler and Hardy the legal men inside. Hardy connects with the twist of fate, and the swanton finishes at 5:09. Really fun match for only five minutes, but the question remains why are we having a Smackdown match on Donald Trump's Raw? After the match Punk slides in and mockingly raises Hardy's hand which Jeff takes exception to.
Winners: Jeff Hardy, The Great Khali, & Rey Mysterio (Hardy pins Ziggler-Swanton Bomb **3/4)

-Vince tries to get into Trump's office, but it is locked so instead he has to deal with Santina. Vince complains about Trump giving people's money back, and Trump stealing his office. Santina says they should share an office. Trump comes out and says this is now his office, and Vince's office is down the hall. Trump then introduces himself to Santina, and asks who she is. Santina introduces herself as Miss Wrestlemania and says she works here. Trump says he's doing the same thing to her that he did to Miss Califiornia, and that's fire her. As soon as she disappears Santino appears and is sad that she got fired, but thinks that she had her run. Nice camera trick.

Primo (w. Carlito) vs. Cody Rhodes (w. Ted Dibiase)
Before the match Primo guarantees that after the Bash they will be Unified Tag Team Champions, and Dibiase and Rhodes only Legacy will be as Orton's groupies. Cody grabs an arm wringer, and takes down Primo by the hair. Primo counters into a head scissors, and then grabs an armbar. Primo rams Cody into the corner, but Cody is right back with a bulldog for two. Snap mare from Cody is followed by a knee drop. Primo comes back with a shoulderblock, and but gets dumped to the floor by Cody. Back inside Cody covers for two, and then grabs a reverse chinlock. Primo comes back with a headscissor takedown out of the corner, and then a dropkick. Back elbow from Primo gets two, and then a jackknife rollup gets another two. Cody hits the ropes and stops a backdrop attempt with a kick. Side Russian legsweep from Cody gets two, but Primo is right back with a small package for a near fall of his own. Primo goes for a springboard crossbody, but Cody rolls through and with a handful of trunks gets the pin at 3:52. Nothing much to see here.
Winner: Cody Rhodes (Pinfall-Crossbody Rollthrough *1/2)

-Vince is still looking for his office, and runs into Hornswoggle and Goldust. Goldust says he's thinking about giving Trump his wig after it worked so well for Goldberg. Goldust wants to try it on another billionaire to see how it works, and puts it on Vince. Goldust points Vince to his office and runs like hell after Vince takes it off in error. Vince's office is naturally a toilet stall. The punchline? Festus was taking a dump in it while reading the Wall Street Journal. I'm not sure if that's hilarious or terrible. I'm gonna go with the latter.

WWE Championship Last Man Standing Match: Triple H vs. Randy Orton ©
Well here we go with the third annual Orton-HHH Last Man Standing Match. I'll say one thing. This had better be good to save this dog of a first hour. Orton attacks at the bell, and they trade punches in the corner with HHH getting the better of it. HHH fires Orton into the ringpost sending him to the floor, and HHH follows out after him. HHH sends Orton into the announce table, and then back inside to deliver a spinebuster. Pedigree attempt by HHH is countered by Orton into an whip sending HHH over the top to the floor. HHH sells a knee injury for a moment, but then clotheslines Orton as he follows out after him. HHH drops Orton onto the barricade, and then fires him into the crowd. The ref begins to administer the count, but Orton is up at four. HHH follows him into the crowd, and throws Orton into hockey boards. Orton crawls back toward ringside, and draws Orton in allowing him to whip HHH over the barricade back to the ringside area. Orton chop blocks the knee of HHH, and orders the ref to count. Trips is up at four, but Orton drives the ringstep back into the knee. HHH is up at six this time, but Orton again uses the ringsteps this time off the head of HHH. HHH is again up at six so Orton fires him back inside dropping the knee on the apron. Orton chops the knee, and continues to work on it. Orton delivers some of his signature stomps to the injured knee, and then delivers a knee drop to it. Orton goes for a kneedrop again, but HHH moves out of the way buying Trips some time. Orton is right back though as he slides to the outside taking HHH's legs out from under him and wrapping the knee around the ringpost. Orton grabs a chair, but HHH comes back kicking the chair into the face. Orton is able to grab the chair again, and deliver a brutal shot to the head of HHH with it. HHH gets up at eight, but Orton is there to pounce pounding HHH back down. Orton clears off the announce table, and rams HHH head first into it. Orton sets up for the RKO on the table, but HHH counters with a low blow to stop it. HHH goes for the pedigree, but Orton counters into an RKO on the table which doesn't break. HHH is able to slid off the table to his feet at nine to break the count. What bullshit. RKO on a fucking table should be enough to get the win. Orton charges at HHH, but gets a backdrop into the table by the game. Both men are down, but reach their feet at eight. HHH grabs a monitor and rams Orton in the head with it before again collapsing himself. Quickly both guys are back to their feet so no count, but HHH is in control taking Orton up the ramp ramming him into the barricade in the process. Towards the stage they go with Orton meeting the steel barricade several times along the way. HHH delivers a spinebuster to Orton on the ramp, but Orton is up this time at nine. HHH goes for the pedigree on the ramp, but that is countered into a backdrop from Orton. This time its HHH who is up at nine, but he is quickly met with a right hand from Orton. They trade blows back on the floor next to the stage with Orton firing HHH into the side of the stage. Orton goes for an RKO on the floor, but HHH counters sending Orton over the production equipment and into the crowd. HHH finds a ladder underneath the stage, and goes to hit Orton with it. Orton ducks and HHH takes out a production team member instead. HHH checks on the innocent bystander like a good babyface, and that allows Orton to attack regaining control. Orton drops the knee of HHH down on the stage, and then grabs the ladder for his own use. Orton takes out the injured knee of HHH with the ladder, and rams it into the head as well. Orton sandwiches HHH's knee inbetween the ladder and then stomps on it several times. Orton tells the ref to stop the count because he's not finished yet, and then sets up the ladder on the stage. Orton pulls HHH to his feet, and sets up for the RKO while climbing the ladder. HHH counters that, and then fires the ladder into Orton. HHH hits the pedigree on the ramp, but appears to be too injured to reach his feet. He attempts to pull himself with the use of the ladder, but the ladder gives way and HHH collapses. Both men are counted down for the draw at 20:09 and Orton retains. This actually works well for the match on Sunday as HHH's knee injury will play into the psychology of that match, and we still don't have a decisive winner. The downside is this was FAR superior to their match that main evented the biggest show of the year. You know, the show we paid 70 bucks for. All in all though, bullshit finish aside, this was a pretty good brawl.
Winner: Draw (Double Knockout ***1/4)

-Miz runs into Maryse in the back, and she tells him not to even waste her time until he does something impressive to John Cena. She says one cheap shot is not impressive. Miz says he proved that tonight Cena can't rattle him, and six days from now he will not only prove that he belongs here, but he owns Cena.

-Trump is back out with Eve and Maria, who it should be pointed out are on the show he DOESN'T own, but those are just minor details right? Trump says there's nothing like really good ownership, and says that earlier tonight he said after the show they're getting their money back. He says for all the people watching at home we get no commercials. Trump says he's not going to appoint a General Manager, but instead he's going appoint a celebrity host every week. Oh lord…kill me now. He says it could be an actor, actress, WWE Champion, but every week its going to be someone different. He says he will be working for us, and we'll get lots of freebies from Donald Trump. He says the greatest thing to happen will be Wrestlemania XXVI. That finally brings out Vince, and says he's had enough of what Trump is doing. Vince says he had no idea that Trump was going to do this commercial free stuff, and he loses a lot of money when he does that. Uhh…why? HE DOESN'T OWN THE FUCKING SHOW ANYMORE! He says there are rumors that Raw will be commercial free every week, and that tickets will be free every week. Vince says he can't do that because in six months time he'd be bankrupt. SERIOUSLY THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE WHATSOEVER. Trump says this is peanuts, and he can do whatever the hell he wants. Trump says a lot of his billionaire friends want to buy this from him, and he could double his money whenever he wants if were to sell it. Vince asks how he could be so stupid, and says Trump played him. He says this is a well orchestrated plan to drive Vince into bankruptcy. Vince admits that Trump is smarter than him, and offers to buy Raw back for the same price he paid. Trump says he has no interest in that deal, so Vince says he'll pay him what he paid plus 25%. Trump turns it down again, because he likes the people and likes letting them in for free. Vince offers goes to 50 and then 75%, but Trump keeps turning him down. Vince offers him double his money back, and finally Trump finally agrees and sells Raw back to Vince. That's it? Seriously? Vince tells Trump one last thing. If he ever sees Trump again he'll knock him on his billionaire butt, and then fires him. Trump slaps Vince, and then security comes out and separates them. This makes absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever, but at least it's over. I think.

-Vince meets up with Legacy in the back, and kicks Legacy out of the building. He tells Orton that if he thinks he's in pain now he should wait until The Bash on Sunday. Orton tells him he can't even stand let alone fight, and if he had any decency… Vince cuts him off and tells him that Sunday he'll face HHH in a three stages of hell match, which I was excited about until I heard the three gimmicks. Regular match, falls count anywhere, and stretcher match. A stretcher match? Really. So Vince is a face again because he's on Trips' side? TNA has nothing on this shit.

Mickie James & The Bella Twins vs. Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendes, & Maryse
Mickie starts the match with Rosa, and hits a forearm sending her to the heel corner. Beth tags in and delivers a shoulderblock to Mickie who tags in to Nikki. Beth drags Nikki to the corner, and tags in Rosa who pounds away. Nikki hits the ropes and delivers a hurracanrana which she follows with an armdrag. Rosa gets fired into the corner, and delivers a monkeyflip. Tag to Brie who gets rammed into the corner as things begin to break down. Rosa covers Brie for two, and then tags in Maryse. Backbreaker from Maryse gets two, and then drives her face into the mat. Camel clutch is locked in by Maryse, before she again sends Brie into the heel corner. Tag to Rosa is followed by a snap mare. Brie fires back with a forearm, and then tags in Mickie. Mickie delivers a clothesline to Rosa, and a neckbreaker gets two when Beth makes the save. The Bellas come in with a double dropkick to Beth sending them all to the floor. Maryse tries for a distraction, but it fails and Mickie hits Sweet Chick Music to get the pin at 5:06. Nothing great, but not terrible either.
Winners: Mickie James & The Bella Twins (James pins Mendes-Superkick *1/4)

-John Cena went to the Cubs game on Sunday, and all the Cubs are big fans. I may have just joined the Cena Hater club. Oooohh Soriano's a big fan…who the fuck cares. Talk to me when Pujols is giving guys the attitude adjustment.

The Big Show vs. John Cena
It's the rematch the world was waiting for. Cena ducks a right hand, and hits the ropes delivering a shoulderblock that sends Show to the floor. Cena heads outside after him, but gets caught and dropped on the barricade. Back inside Show hits a spear on Cena, and then chokes him out with a boot to the throat. Suplex from Show gets a two count, and that is followed up with a right hand to the body. Show hits a chop in the corner, but a second attempt is ducked by Cena. He tries to fight back, but gets caught again and dropped face first on the mat by Show. Cena rolls to the floor, and then is able to drop Show on the top rope when coming in. Cena goes for the shoulderblock off the ropes, but Show shrugs him off to regain control. Show sits down on the chest of Cena, and then delivers another bodyshot. Cena fights back to grabs a side headlock, but Show counters with a back suplex for a two count. Show delivers a standing ass splash in the corner to Cena, but Cena is able to dodge a second attempt. Cena hits the ropes, but runs into the elbow from Cena. I feel like I've seen this match before. Show delivers the standing legdrop for a two count, and then stands on the chest of Cena. Show charges at Cena in the corner, but runs into the boots. Cena hits a bulldog, and then delivers the Cenasser (credit to Dunn for that one). Five knuckle shuffle connects for Cena, but he turns into a chokeslam. Cena is of course out at two, so Show stands on his chest some more. Show goes for the Vader Bomb, and it connects. Show goes for the camel clutch, but Cena counters to the STF and I'll be damned this time he able to lock it in. Miz runs out so Cena lets it go to chase him off the apron, but Miz gets run off. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Miz again jumps on the apron and pushes Show on top of Cena. That's enough to get the pin at 10:23. After the match Miz stands over Cena and gives a "you can't see me."
Winner: The Big Show (Pinfall-Mizerference ¼*)

-Orton is leaving the arena, but gets jumped by HHH and his head shoved the trunk of his rental car. HHH sits down next to him for a heart to heart and tells him that its not over by a long shot. Well fuck, I got my hopes up. He tells him this Sunday he's going to hell.

-Well if that's what a commercial free Raw is like I'll take the commercials. The people in the crowd got refunds, but can I get my 2 hours back. Easily one of the worst Raw's in a long time, and that's even with a pretty good WWE Title match thrown in there. The Donald Trump angle thankfully was just a one week thing to spike a rating. It will likely work, but they sure as hell didn't put out the show that's going to get people to come back. This Raw failed on just about every level imaginable.