411's WWE Smackdown Report 07.31.09

Posted by Chris Lansdell on 07.31.2009

John Morrison gets his big chance against Jeff Hardy, Cryme Tyme battles the Hart Dynasty for a shot at the tag titles, the Divas are in action and more! Check out 411’s complete WWE Smackdown report for all the details!

It's that Lansdell guy again! Turns out we need a SmackDown reviewer too. Do you enjoy watching the best wrestling show on TV? Want to write about it for 411mania? Send a sample to Csonka and join the team!

We start with a recap of Night of Champions and Jeff Hardy's title win, which leads to him coming out with his newly-won championship. As he's coming to the ring we discover that he's fighting John Morrison for the title tonight. That should be something else.

Hardy has a mic. If this is a dream, don't wake him. He wants to thank the outcasts, The Reject Shannon Moore, all the freaks...it's like he was at a CZW show. He says that if everyone was like CM Punk the world would be boring, and the only thing he's high on is being world champion. Because he's a human, and he has the God-given right to live life the way he chooses. He knows Punk has got his rematch and he can have it whenever he wants. He goes on to put over John Morrison and says tongiht should be amazing. Cryme Tyme's music hits and they come out and celebrate with Hardy as we go to commercial.

We get the Raw Rebound with Cryme Tyme and Shaq before going back to the ring. Oh a match!

Number 1 Contender Tag Match - The Hart Dynasty vs Cryme Tyme

Every time I hear that guitar screech I get goose bumps. You'd think I'd be used to it now, but hearing it for real in Toronto was awesome.

Shad and Smith lockup to start. Shad backs Smith up but Smith comes back with forearms and a headlock. Shad fights out, they criss cross and Shad takes him down with a shoulder. Whip and a BIG flying back elbow by Shad in the corner. Smith makes a blind tag and bails and Kidd hits a basement dropkick to the knee of Shad. Leg grapevine applied by Kidd, he breaks the hold and goes to work on the left leg of Shad. Smith whips him knees-first into the steps as we go to break.

Back from break and Smith is dragging Shad away from JTG. He stomps on Shad's leg and hits some leg kicks after Shad gets up, then applies a standing kneebar. He turns it over into a half crab, then steps on Shad's head just to make it suck more. Shad kicks him off and Smith makes the tag and Kidd makes it in in time to prevent the tag...or does he? NO! JTG is in! Dropkick to Kidd! A second! Back drop! Dropkick to Smith on the apron! Top rope senton! 1...2...no. He whips Kidd, Kidd holds the ropes and gets a foot up then hits a springboard blockbuster (!!!) for 2. JTG gets a cradle out of nowhere for 2, then a rollup for 2. Kidd takes him back down, has a whip blocked and JTG hits a necktie backbreaker for 2. Shad dives off the apron to take out DH Smith! Kidd tries a schoolboy, JTG rolls through and gets 2. They counter each others stuff and JTG hits the Shout Out for the win. Strong match.

Winners: Cryme Tyme via pinfall (JTG on Kidd, Shout Out)

Show and Jericho's newly-remixed joint music hits, and it is awesome. Even more awesome is that Show is out in 2 pieces of a 3 piece suit. Fear not parents, it's the jacket he's missing. Jericho tells Cryme Tyme to enjoy their moment, but things are going downhill from there. They're this close to living out their childhood dreams of being WWE tag team champions, but they're just like everyone else there: failures. They have 40 titles between them, do they know how great that makes them. Jericho keeps talking about how great they are, until Shad interrupts and calls them Han Solo and Chewbacca, but it's OK because he speaks Wookiee. No, really. Then he gargles for a minute or two. Jericho says it's not a joke. JTG brings up the stuff Shaq said while the crowd chants "Christina". Cryme Tyme is leaving Summer Slam with the titles. Show says Cryme Tyme are running their mouths because he and Jericho permit it. They're used to being champions. He lists their accomplishments and really, it's most impressive. That was pretty good and made Cryme Tyme look like a threat.

Michelle McCool and and Layla vs Eve Torres and Melina

Layla and Melina to start. Melina just hurts Layla and goes after Michelle, Layla comes back with some forerams but gets hip tossed. Tag to Eve who gets a slam for 2. Dropkick by Eve, a whip is reversed and Layla charges into a nasty reverse elbow. Nasty as in poor. Eve tries to go up top but Layla kicks her down and tags Michelle. She goes to work with knee strikes on a downed Eve. A legdrop gets 2 before McCool locks in a sleeper. Eve gets to her feet and hits a jawbreaker to break the hold. Lukewarm tag! Clitheslines to Layla by Melina! A whip is reversed but Melina avoids the charge and gets a flapjack. She hits a running kick on Layla and finsihes with the splits for fun. Melina sets up for a reverse DDT but gets her jaw kicked sideways by McCool. Eve dropkicks McCool to the floor but chases her and eats a boot. Layla tags McCool who sets for...a Widow's Peak? Wait...REVERSED!!! FLIP POWERBOMB! THREE! Great finish.

Winners: Melina and Eve Torres via pinfall (Melina on McCool, flip powerbomb)

Josh Matthews is with CM Punk. Punk says the win was an upset. He can't see how Hardy was the better man living the type of lifestyle that he lives. He wishes everyone was straight edge. Hardy has said many times that he lives in the moment, but he should enjoy this moment because it won't last. He got next.

Hey, remember when Maria was the next big thing in the women's division and always on air? Now she's getting her hand kissed by Dolph Ziggler and disappearing inside 20 seconds. He's up...NEXT.

Finlay and Rey Misterio vs Mike Knox and Dolph Ziggler

They do the entrances, and we go to break. Ziggler and Rey to start. Ziggler with a shoulder and a boot early, but Rey comes back with a headscissors and a boot of his own until Knox tags in and just flies into Rey for a 2 count. Whip by Knox and Rey hits the ground. The beard is STILL epic. Know with another whip but he charges into two knees by Rey, who tries a rana off the second. Knox catches him and looks for a powerbomb but Rey fights out and gets an enziguiri and the tag! Clotheslines for Knox! Ass drop! 2 count. Shoulder in the corner and the Finlay Roll get 2. He knocks Ziggler off the apron and gets a boot into Knox's face then tries to go up top, from whence Knox kicks him hard. Know applies a leglock but Finlay fights out, Knox regains control and slingshots Finlay into the underside of the second rope. Tag to Ziggler who hits a dropkick for 2. He prevents the tag and applies a sleeper, then changes it up and snaps the leg of Finlay for a 2 count. Again Ziggler blocks the tag, drags Finlay across the ring and tags Knox. Know hits a legdrop for 2. Spinning toehold by Knox but Finlay uses the free knee to break the hold and again tries to tag, Knox cuts him off. He applies a stretch but breaks it to fluff a shot at Rey on the apron. He clearly missed but Rey went down anyway. Tag to Ziggler who hits a big corner splash and gets 2. Elbow drop gets 2 more but Ziggler misses the second one. AGAIN Finlay tries to tag and is blocked, Ziggler drags Finlay again and tags Knox again. More leg work by Knox. Ziggler back in and gets a 2 count. Another tag to Knox, he gets a slam but misses a knee drop. Finlay still can't get the tag as Ziggler stops him, whips him and...misses a corner splash! Tag to Rey!! Springboard senton for Ziggler! Rey ducks a clothesline and they blow a spot but recover quickly as Ziggler tries a sunset flip and gets kicked in the head for 2. Springboard crossbody by Rey for 2 more. Ziggler reverses a whip and runs into a boot, then gets drop toeheld into 619 position...connects! Splash! 1...2...NO!!! Knox breaks it up andggler attacks Finlay form behind and tries the Stroke but Rey sunset flips him for the win! I didn't really buy into that, the heels were too slow and plain on offence. Needed more zing.

Winners: Rey Misterio and Finlay by pinfall (Rey on Ziggler, sunset flip)

Josh Matthews has Morrison. He has his first title shot tonight, is he prepared? Morrison congratulates Jeff, but before he gets to have a picnic with his freaks on top of a mountain, he has to face Morrison. Morrison sounded like he was yelling throughout and was really not convincing.

Great Khali vs Charlie Haas

Hey look, Haas still has a job! He's about to be killed, but he still has a job!

Haas tries to punch it out with Khali. Fail. Clubbing forearms don't work much better as Haas runs into a goozle. Shots in the corner by Khali including a HUGE open-hand slap. JUDO CHOP! He sets for the Punjabi Plunge but SHOCK! It's Kane! Khali turns around and Kane backs off and kidnaps Sideburns Singh! Khali chases him and rescues his princess (guess she wasn't in another castle), but there is no bell. So is that a DQ or is Haas getting the win via countout?

Winner: Ummm...Khali? via ummm...DQ? (Kane-ference? Maybe?)

More Raw Rebound. More Shaq, this time focusing on the media reaction.

Wow, main event? So with ads factored in, I reckon this gets 20 minutes. Awesome.

World Heavyweight Title - Jeff Hardy (C) vs John Morrison

They do the super special ring announcing. Hardy has pink sleeves. Hot pink.

Morrison gets control early with an armbar, Hardy reverses to a hammerlock and a headlock before taking morrison down with a shoulder. Chinlock by Hardy, Morrison flips him off and tries a kick. Jeff ctaches the foot but can't stop the foot coming over the top. 2 count only. Whip by Morrison hard, Hardy goes down and that gets 2. Modified Buffalo sleeper now by Morrison. Hardy gets to his feet and gets a schoolboy for a quick 1 before eating a clothesline and getting a 2 count. Rear chinlock now by Morrison. Again Hardy gets up, ducks a clothesline and hits a pair of forearms and an inverted atomic. Double leg takedown, Hardy goes to drop feet to the groin but Morrison blocks it, then catapults Hardy up and over the top to the floor. He teases a flip to the outside but lands on the apron, kicks Hardy in the face and hits an Asai moonsault as we go to break. Great start.

Back from break and Hardy is in a chinlock on the mat. Who let Orton in here? Hardy gets up again and slugs his way free, kicks Morrison and has a twist of fate try blocked and turned into a quick cover for 2. He snaps Hardy's neck over the top and goes for Starship Pain!!! Hardy moves but Morrison lands on his feet...Whisper in the Wind!!! 1...2...no! Hardy in control now with a snap mare and a chinlock. Morrison tires to knee his way clear but Hardy gets a slam and a Matt-esque yodeling legdrop from the second rope for 2. Back to the chinlock now. Morrison throws off Hardy and then hits an STO backbreaker/Russian legsweep combo followed by a standing shooting star press! 1...2...2.806! Punches in the corner by Morrison and a neckbreaker get 2 more. Whip by Morrison, he charges but gets lifted to the apron. He hits a forearm and climbs, Hardy climbs with him, they slug it out on the second rope and both men fall to the floor! Good time for a break...THERE it is.

Back from break and they are STILL slugging it out mid-ring. Morrison gets control and hits a clothesline and a sweet dropkick, but Hardy comes back with a clothesline of his own and hits the double leg to the groin followed by a low dropkick for 2. Morrison has rolled under the rope and is on the apron, Jeff gets a shoulder to the gut and tries a sunset bomb to the outside but Morrison sits down and then whips Hardy to the barri...reversed! Morrison hits the rail! Hardy positions the steps and does a running leap off them into Morrison! both men back in and hardy gets a 2. Twist of Fate try, Morrison pushes him off but Hardy runs up the ropes, Whisper in the Wind! MISSED! SHINING WIZARD! 1...2...2.8771! hardy is whipped in but he ducks the Chuck Kick! HUGE dropkick by Morrison gets 2 anyway. Hardy reverses a whip and charges but gets crotched...CHUCK KICK by Morrison on a crotched Hardy! 1...2...2.903! Morrison stays in control, Moonlight Drive! COUNTERED! Gordbuster! Hardy goes up top...SWANTON! I smell Punk. Hardy with the cover! 1...2...NO!!!!! He kicked out of the Swanton! Hardy tries the mule kick in the corner but Morrison blocks it and push-kicks him across the ring! STARSHIP PAIN!!! KNEES ONLY! Twist of Fate by Hardy! Swanton! 3! Incredible. Best match I've seen this year.

Winner: Jeff Hardy via pinfall (Swanton)

Here comes Punk! He's dressed to compete...he claps for Morrison's effort as the latter leaves the ring area and stares down Hardy before raising his arm...Hardy looks unconvinced, as am I. Punk calls for a mic. HERE it comes. He starts to talk and WHAM! Mic shot to the head! Beatery ensues as Punk takes Hardy to the barricade and stomps him like an Irish dance. He rams Hardy's back into the barricade and...YES! Danielson-style elbow strikes! Hardy is bleeding! Well, the subtlety seems to have been dismissed. Punk leaves, stops, thinks better of it and runs back, laying some kicks to the spine and throwing Hardy across the announce table. We get shots of some shocked kids in the crowd. Punk has the mic at the top of the ramp.

"I want everybody all over the world to tune in to Smackdown next week, because that's when I'm going to take MY World Heavyweight Title back." Nothing like a hard sell.