2 Raw 2 Furious 09.07.09

Posted by Chris Lansdell on 09.08.2009

It's a night of rollups and standing tall as we head to Breaking Point. Join Byers and Lansdell as they talk about fat guys, Test and occasionally Raw!

Hey yo. Welcome back to 2 Raw 2 Furious, the real-time Raw recap that features the often contrasting and occasionally entertaining thoughts of Ryan Byers of Into the Indies and me, Chris Lansdell. I write too much. Last week we raved about the ending segment which almost made us forgive some of the crappy stuff, like Chavo in a cow suit. Will Bob Barker give us cause for applause, or will we feel like we just went through Plinko? You can find out, right after the

BANNER!



Pre-Raw Scuttlebutt

Lansdell: Does it qualify as a raid yet?
Byers: No, I still wouldn't call it a raid.
Lansdell: I got an email from a friend of mine within RoH. He says Tyler Black has been talking to Johnny Ace. How he knows the contents of Tyler's phone calls is beyond me, but there we are.
Byers: Well, that means he's safe. Johnny Ace never talks to the right guy.
Lansdell: Every report I read says that WWE is paying people to watch ROH and suggest signings
Byers: That sounds a little far-fetched. There aren't that many guys in the promotion. They could have a good look at everybody after a couple of shows.
Lansdell: Well they've signed two of the 3 top guys in the company And I reckon if Aries wasn't champ and assistant booker, he'd be gone too
Byers: Eh, I don't know. If people know about the reputation he had in TNA he may not be as attractive as a signing. Though, then again, Punk had his problems with TNA too, so who knows.
Lansdell: Punk's problems with TNA were to do with the Feinstein Incident. Aries is just irresponsible and egotistical, in the eyes of TNA anyway.
Byers: So, if there is a raid, does this mean that we get another WWE run for D-LO BROWN?!
Lansdell: When I interviewed him, he didn't rule it out. Neither did Bison Smith, and I can see them wanting him more than giving D-Lo another run.
Byers: He wouldn't be the worst acquisition.
Lansdell: Put him with Tony Atlas, or someone who can talk.
Byers: Or, hell, if there's a raid on, bring Nana with him!
Lansdell: Bring the whole Embassy. Except Ernie. He doesn't like the monsters.
Byers: The world did need a Rock n' Rave Infection reunion. Hell, bring in Johnny Stamobli too and reunite the MONSTERS OF ROCK.
Lansdell: Now we're just getting silly

Lansdell: So is Lillian finally gone?
Byers: I guess there's only one way to find out.
Lansdell: I have this image of every wrestler being told to COME ON DOWN!

Lansdell: Have you seen any Rhett Titus/Kenny King?
Byers: I've seen them individually, but not as a team.
Lansdell: They have some great chemistry. It's kind of like Head Cheese, only far better in the ring. Titus plays his gimmick perfectly, and King is so damn athletic it's not even funny. He makes Shelton look like me. And he's not botch-prone.
Byers: I've always heard good things about him. In the few matches I've seen, he looked solid. Titus seems like more of a gimmick guy than anything else, but it's not a bad gimmick.
Lansdell: Titus could work in WWE as a comedy guy, and King seems made for WWE.
Byers: Well, WWE did give him his initial training, so he should have some clue how to work a style that they'd like. My turn: Have you seen any Danshoku Dino?
Lansdell: I have not.
Byers: He's essentially mid-90's Goldust turned up to 11.
Lansdell: Yeesh. Worse than HG Razor Ramon?
Byers: HG just does a lot of pelvic thrusts. I just watched Dino spend the better part of a ten minute match trying to rip his opponent's pants off.
Lansdell: Riiiiight. Now if Santino did that tonight, you'd shit all over it
Byers: I enjoy Santino.
Lansdell: I know.
Byers: I didn't say I liked Dino, did I? I actually felt a bit uncomfortable there. The Dino Driver finish was awkward as well.
Lansdell: Dare I ask?
Byers: It's a piledriver. He just sticks his opponent's head down the front of his trunks before he does it.
Lansdell: Oh God. GLAAD would be all over that.
Byers: So he's not really a gay character. He's more a gay rapist character.
Lansdell: Which of course is excellent and...



Dammit, there goes another Sarcasmatron. I was doing so well too.
Byers: If it were America I'd probably complain about it reinforcing the negative stereotype of gay people wanting to get with every hetero they see. But I frankly don't know enough about Japanese culture to know if that stereotype exists there.

Lansdell: God, Eddie Kingston looks horrible
Byers: Are you referring to his wrestling or the fact that I am currently in better shape than he is?
Lansdell: The latter. But at least I get to see backfist
Byers: I don't even think the backfists I've seen from him are all that great. He's no Kong.
Lansdell: Who is?
Byers: The other Kong.
Lansdell: There are 2 other Kongs.
Byers: I can think of three.
Lansdell: As can I: Cyber, Aja, Awesome
Byers: I completely forgot about Cyber Kong there.
Byers: I was thinking about Aja, Amazing, and the WCW tag team of twin fat guys called the Collossal Kongs.
Byers: I believe individually they were referred to as King Kong and Awesome Kong.
Lansdell: Another creation of the idiot who came up with the Ding Dongs? Of course we could have included Bundy
Byers: I believe the Colossal Kongs were several years after the Ding Dongs. I want to say that they were '94-ish. Managed by Harley Race.
Lansdell: They really wanted to get them over huh?



Byers: Yeah, I recall them doing some stuff against Sting. Now there's a video that proves every wrestler has at least one hardcore fan.
Lansdell: Good grief. Almost as big as Big Dave and Bulk, the UK Pitbulls
Byers: The UK Pitbulls I'm not familiar with. Though kudos to any wrestler named Bulk.
Lansdell: The smaller of the two guys is around 400



Byers: Ah, where have all the fat men gone? Wrestling needs a new big fat monster.
Lansdell: Combined weight of half a ton... and they were faces
Byers: I have a feeling they are to McDonalds franchises what Galactus is to planets.
Lansdell: They send a guy in a silver bodysuit out on his surfboard to find them?
Lansdell: Raw?
Byers: Raw.

Bob Barker, kindly descend!

Lansdell: I'm scared.
Byers: Okay, the Fink as Rod Roddy is brilliant. I am filled with hope right out of the gate.
Lansdell: I'm really scared.
Byers: They've got the theme, they've got the microphone, they've got the graphics. They've gone all out for this.
Lansdell: I actually has to read up on this guy. I had no idea who he was.
Byers: Really? I guess it's a cultural thing.
Lansdell: Well "no idea" is a but harsh, but I certainly didn't understand the cultural significance of a guy who hosted a game show. Then I remembered Bruce Forsyth. I've never actually seen Barker though. I only watch game shows that require intelligence.
Byers: Hey now. Knowing the price of pickled beets at Costco makes you pretty damn intelligent.
Lansdell: He's already more over than the Mr Potato Head midcard.
Byers: I wonder how much they had to pay for the rights to the Price is Right theme.

Bring out the contestants!

Lansdell: I R FUCKING S
Byers: Barker. Santino. Jillian. IRS. Jericho. It's like I picked this lineup.
Lansdell: OK that's funny, the look on Jericho's face and the nametag on the chest.
Byers: The nametag on the pec is glorious.
Lansdell: He HAS to bid $1.
Byers: IRS has to include sales tax in his bid.
Lansdell: I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
Byers: Bob Barker is cutting a promo on Santino Marella. I have died and gone to wrestling heaven.
Lansdell: And now she's going to sing. The "cry" option is looking good.
Byers: "Sing your bid!" That had to be an ad lib.
Lansdell: I love you IRS. I do. Please manage someone.
Byers: "Your mother would not be proud of you".
Lansdell: Chris Jericho is getting owned by Bob Barker
Byers: He's not backing down in the slightest. Probably not the best thing for Jericho's character, but this is so damn funny I don't care.
Lansdell: Meh, Jericho is a heat magnet, he can take it. Oh good grief Barker's going to take him over his knee!
Byers: This is the most useful that the Bella twins have ever been.
Lansdell: I love how Jericho looked pissed when his bid was put to $1
Byers: He hated the idea of being on the show, but he's such a huge prick that he can't stand to not compete once he's there. It was great.

Chris Jericho vs MVP

Jericho won the pricing game and gets a shot at a trip to Hawaii...IF he can beat MVP

Lansdell: So MVP is over now. Thanks, Floyd Mayweather!
Byers: See, I told you it was worth having him in wrestling.
Lansdell: I'll reserve judgment until I see MVP retain his overness against someone who is not Jericho or Orton.
Byers: MVP CHANTS even. Good to hear.
Lansdell: I've been saying since Jericho came back that he needed to be feuding with guys who needed to get over, not the HBKs and Mysterios.
Byers: I'm torn, though . . . I think it would be premature to end Jericho and Show's reign, but I think to keep MVP and Henry's momentum going, they need the win.
Lansdell: But I can see Show and Jericho losing. They are needed on Smackdown, badly.
Byers: Well, Show's technically a Raw guy if I remember correctly. Not that they couldn't do a trade of some kind to work around that.
Lansdell: Well Jericho certainly is on SD. As if that show needed another stellar talent
Byers: Well, they could use another babyface.
Lansdell: I think they need a heel far more
Byers: They need somebody to fill the void left by Hardy, unless you think that they can elevate Morrison quickly enough to do that.
Lansdell: I thought that's why they brought Taker back
Byers: Right, but he's really only a short-term fix. They need somebody at that level who is going to work a full-time schedule.
Lansdell: I think it would be far easier to elevate Morrison than to turn Jericho
Byers: I don't think that turning Jericho would be difficult, but with as great as he's been in his heel character recently, I think that it would be damn stupid.
Lansdell: And giving him a loose alliance with Punk is a great way to eventually turn Jericho
Byers: Actually, if you're going to have either Punk or Jericho turn on the other, I'd rather see Jericho heeling it up on Punk. Have him call out the straight edge lifestyle as a marketing ploy.
Lansdell: That would have to be far down the line. I don't think turning Punk again in the next few months is a good idea, he needs to stay heel for a while or he starts to feel like a yo-yo.

In-match thoughts

Lansdell: I don't like the cadence of this ref's counts. It's not building any tension for me.
Byers: Yeah, I don't recall seeing this referee before. Though they're hard to keep track of anymore now that the announcers aren't allowed to identify them.
Lansdell: Dumbest idea ever. Look at UFC, their refs have fans!
Byers: Okay, that was a pretty awesome little finishing sequence there.
Lansdell: The match built to it nicely as well. Not a technical classic but it progressed well. Good pacing.
Byers: Plus the jack knife is one of those moves that I mark for for no particular reason.
Lansdell: Like me with a snap powerslam or a AA spinebuster
Byers: Indeed.

Winner: MVP via pinfall (Jacknife cover)
Lansdell: This feud continues to bubble along well. I hope it turns into an actual feud and not just "throw these two guys at Show and Jericho to keep all 4 busy" type of deal, and I hope both Henry and MVP come out of it looking like legit contenders. The match worked better for me than last week's. Maybe because there seemed to be more of a comfort level with the two guys, and it was well-paced. That's good for **½ in my book.

DX meet Barker

Lansdell: OK this is a nice concept: Random opponent generator. Well obviously it's not random, but it looks that way. They must re-use this.
Byers: Spin the wheel, make the deal. Giving us HHH/Orton part 5,000. Hooray.
Lansdell: It cannot be worse than their Mania match.
Byers: Not much can.
Lansdell: I must confess to not understanding Michaels-Masters though. Unless they want to try and re-push Masters. Or bury him.
Byers: My guess would be that they just want to fill a segment with a Michaels match.
Lansdell: It also adds some realism to the "random" aspect, as most people would have been expecting DiBiase there.

Your weekly Chavo humiliation

Lansdell: Oh God not again.
Byers: Oh boy, I can't wait to see Chavo get that car!
Lansdell: So he can lean like a cholo?
Byers: What like a who now?



Chavo Guerrero vs Hornswaggle Evan Bourne

Lansdell: Oh thank Christ, a real match
Byers: Over-under on Swoggle-ference?
Lansdell: 4 minutes
Byers: I've got to go with less.
Lansdell: The crowd is dead. This is what's wrong with wrestling today: the "fans" would rather watch Hornswaggle than a genuine match between two exciting wrestlers.
Byers: Well, that's an inventive way to crotch yourself.
Lansdell: Not too many could pull that off
Byers: Not many would want to.
Lansdell: BANG ON. Here comes the leprechaun.
Byers: Bravo. Didn't you do something like this last week as well?
Lansdell: I did. I should buy lottery tickets.
Byers: You're like a shitty finish prophet.
Lansdell: Nice little schoolboy though. As Rob Feinstein would say
Byers: Query as to what that builds to.
Lansdell: I'm hoping Chavo snaps, destroys Horny, and the feud with Bourne goes on.
Byers: That would probably be the least offensive route.
Lansdell: Which means we'll get Chavo and Bourne in a handicap match against Hornswaggle at Hell in a Cell?
Byers: Why in god's name would they put that match in a cell?
Lansdell: To make us cry.

Winner: Evan Bourne via pinfall (schoolboy with bridge)
Lansdell: Sometimes I feel like Vince books parts of this show for his own amusement, and the Hornswaggle-Chavo feud fits that bill. I have this mental picture of Vince in his office roaring with laughter every week at these segments, while the rest of the team just sits there with blank looks and the occasional fake laugh. I'm glad they're moving the feud over to Bourne, but someone has to tell the crowd that they're supposed to care or Evan is going to be severely damaged. I didn't get what I was expecting from the match, probably because it went four and a bit minutes, but I would have thought we'd get something faster-paced. Still, it showed enough flashes of what COULD happen between these two that I want to see them lock up again. ** for a decent 4-minute outing.

Gratuitous local sports stars in the audience!

Lansdell: Wasn't AJ Pierzynski involved with TNA at one point?
Byers: Yes, he did several appearances with them. Including a pay per view deal in which he did some spots with Simon Diamond, IIRC.
Lansdell: I think he was also awarded an X Division title belt at a PPV
Byers: That's correct.
Lansdell: He was also given a WWE belt today at the baseball game
Byers: You'd think they would find something to give the guy that can't be purchased by any mark with an extra $150.00.
Lansdell: Does that mean we have to include him on the list of people who have held gold in both companies?

Cody Rhodes vs John Cena

Lansdell: By the way, that may be the best I've heard from Cody
Byers: He was good, definitely. Though he did have some great stuff with DiBiase before they joined up with Orton and got neutered, so I don't know if I can go best ever.
Lansdell: Mind you, with his father and brother to learn from, he was never likely to suck
Byers: Oh god no. I still remember the speech he did for Dusty at the Dweam's Hall of Fame induction. Come to think of it, THAT might have been the best he's ever sounded.
Lansdell: Wasn't that what made everyone sit up and take notice of him as a potential star?
Byers: Absolutely. He was already in developmental, but I wouldn't be surprised if that advanced his being called up by several months.
Lansdell: Hmmm...did they just imply that the two DX matches are in fact one match
Byers: They may have.
Byers: In which case, that wheel really screwed over Orton.
Lansdell: Masterfully so

In-match thouhts

Byers: They're giving Cody a lot more of it than I thought they would.
Lansdell: They obviously trust him to hold up his end. That's a good sign.
Byers: I'm not a Cena hater by any means, but Cody has look a fair deal better than him here.
Lansdell: Well Cena hasn't really had a ton of offence
Byers: Right, but he's been out of position for a spot or two, and his movement has been clunky. Interesting to see Cody using a variety of submission holds here as well. I wonder if that's just something they're doing as part of the Breaking Point build or if that's going to be a part of his in-ring style. It would be nice if it were . . . nobody really does that anymore.
Lansdell: I think we're going to see a lot of guys working that this week, to remind us how submission holds look. But if it works, it augurs well for one American Dragon. I never really got why fans didn't buy submissions.
Byers: Nice block of the figure four by Cena. That's a spot we don't see enough of.
Lansdell: Very nice counter. It's logical too.
Byers: Interesting that they didn't pin Cody here. They had every reason to given that Cena is going in to the PPV main event and may well be the champion after Sunday. It makes me wonder if they've got plans for Rhodes in the near future.
Lansdell: It's inevitable that the stable will shatter, but Rhodes would have been my last choice for a push.
Byers: If they break up the group, I still see Ted leaving and Cody sticking with Orton, but they might bump him up to the point that he's closer to being Orton's equal instead of the guy that takes pinfalls for him in tag matches.
Lansdell: We have only had a few teams of equals, but they worked so damn well: DX, Rated RKO, Jericho and Edge before the injury...

Winner: John Cena by disqualification (Orton-ference)
Lansdell: Rhodes looked very good here, and if as Ryan suggested we've seen the debut of his ring style, I'll be a happy camper. At least that will make him stand out. Protecting him from a loss to Cena may seem puzzling on the face of it, but the last thing you want before a match with DX, which nobody believes you have a hope of winning, is a clean loss, even if it is to Cena. I really enjoyed this match and thought it did wonders for Rhodes, which earns **3/4.

Pimping the SmackDown Anniversary and the return of an Animal

Lansdell: Decade of SmackDown (except we can't show the SmackDown Six era, cos of that one guy...)
Byers: Yeah, WWE really needs to get over their beef with Paul Heyman
Lansdell: I meant Angle. Which reminds me, how come I can only remember five of the SD Six? Angle, Edge, Rey, Eddie, Chavo...it's like the 6th guy just stopped existing.
Byers: Batista's back next week? That seems like something that they would want to give more than seven days build.
Lansdell: It's only an announcement. If my math is correct he's gone until the Rumble.
Byers: I'll be amazed if the announcement doesn't involve him coming back to the ring. But I suppose you never know.

Gratuitous local sports star, COME ON DOWN!

Byers: BARKER IS BACK!
Lansdell: We need a new contestant!
Byers: Okay, the Fink is even wearing the Rod Roddy jacket. Glorious.
Lansdell: It's the only guy to be an honorary champion in TNA and WWE! AJ Piersixbrawl!
Byers: They're bidding on a Wrestlemania travel package! That's actually a pretty good deal for the wrestlers, otherwise I'd be that they'd be paying a fair amont of their own transportation costs.
Lansdell: IRS is a road agent so his is free. It's also a taxable benefit...
Byers: That's true. Hell, there's always the chance that Jillian will be released between now and Wrestlemania, so perhaps she'll get to attend as a fan.
Lansdell: Santino wins! Santino wins! Why do have a bad feeling about this?
Byers: I think Bob just called him "San Antonio." Turnabout is fair play when it comes to mangling names.
Lansdell: Santino's like "Fuck the tub, gimme the twins"
Byers: He wants to make SANTINO SOUP~!

Santino Marella vs Big Show – Bodyslam Challenge

Lansdell: A bodyslam challenge? Enter Mark Henry.
Byers: Indeedy. Or Show.
Lansdell: Ah well. At least he gets to go to Mania.
Byers: If they actually remember this storyline and play off of it in March, I will be the happiest wrestling fan ever.
Lansdell: Well that was quick and painless.
Byers: THEY PLAYED THE PRICE IS RIGHT LOSER HORN.
Lansdell: TWICE~!
Byers: I don't think that they could be doing a Price is Right themed wrestling show any better.
Lansdell: And somehow they're tying it in with stories. This is how the guest GM should have been done all along: let the guest host have his spots, but don't give him his own story. I guess they had to work out some growing pains in that regard.
Byers: And it doesn't hurt that they've got a legitimate TV mastermind out there doing it.
Lansdell: So ummm...if they're not using that hot tub with the Bella Twins, there's a spot in the 411 Staff Lounge for it.

NOW Henry enters

Lansdell: Business is about to get heavy. Or something.
Byers: I don't know what commercials you're getting, but I just saw Evander Holyfield in drag in a Taco Bell spot. I feel a bit ill.
Lansdell: I also was forced to endure said commercial
Byers: Though I don't know if that's due to Holyfield in drag or having to look at Taco Bell's "food."

In-"match" thoughts

Lansdell: It's Big John Studd vs Andre!
Byers: Except, as much as we may knock Show and Henry, they are both approximately 5,000 times the wrestlers that Studd and Andre were.
Lansdell: I've heard nothing but glowing reports on Andre's wrestling from other wrestlers
Byers: I watched a clip from a Studd/Andre match last week that featured an eight and a half minute long front facelock.



Lansdell: I'll pass
Byers: It's worth it just to hear Bruno Sammartino try to improv his way through the thing on commentary.
Lansdell: Good grief that was some serious beef on that slam. Impressive.
Byers: Show was obviously assisting (as he should be . . . this is a work) but Henry took a lot more of him up than I thought he would. Good on Mark.
Lansdell: And the fact that it was fairly slow made it look more impactful
Byers: Absolutely.

Winner: Mark Henry via bodyslam
Lansdell: Two behemoths trying to slam each other. There's nothing to rate in terms of a match, but in terms of making Mark Henry look like a legitimate threat to Show, who has been booked as untouchable recently, it was a bug success.

Josh Matthews interviews Barker

Byers: If this Raw were just booked as a two hour long shoot interview with Josh Matthews and Bob Barker, I would be marking out for it like a small child.
Lansdell: Well most of this is lost on me, but I'm sure those who grew up watching him are loving it
Byers: The Bob Barker you're getting tonight is the exact same Bob Barker that the people who grew up watching him got for decades
Lansdell: Ah, so it's nostalgia city
Byers: Well, it's that in part. Plus he's just an awesome personality, nostalgia or not.
Lansdell: That much is evident
Byers: He knows how to work a live crowd with the best of the wrestlers, because he did it ever week for fifty years.

Next week will be Stratusfying

Lansdell: OH HELL YES. Trish is hosting!
Byers: Hopefully we get some interaction with Mickie James.
Lansdell: And Jericho.
Byers: I'd almost forgotten about Jericho, but that is necessary as well. Unfortunately it may not happen if Jericho and Show lose the titles.
Lansdell: They can bring them back for a rematch
Byers: That's a possibility.

Chavo is unhappy

Lansdell: Chavo is about to get knocked out
Byers: YES. They hit the pet population line! That's his catchphrase, you see.
Lansdell: I read about that
Byers: The "element of surprise" bit was lifted directly from from a cameo that he had in the Adam Sandler movie Happy Gilmore.
Lansdell: Well I saw the movie, and at the time he was completely lost on me too
Byers: You know, advertisements rarely work on me, but I am seriously considering reading this book now.

DX vs Randy Orton and Chris Masters

Lansdell: Submissions count anywhere match?
Byers: I'm trying to think of a way that could actually lead to some unique submission spots. Aside from somebody actually tapping to the ringpost figure four, I'm drawing a blank.
Lansdell: Boston crab over the barricade?
Byers: Unless they take a guy backstage and park a forklift on his leg.
Lansdell: Mixed reaction for Randy, which can't be what they're going for.
Byers: I expect an all-out face reaction for him next week.
Lansdell: In Bizarro World?
Byers: Indeed.
Lansdell: I'm looking forward to the reaction to DX in Montreal
Byers: I don't recall there having been a really negative reaction to Shawn there for quite some time. Though perhaps I'm forgetting something.
Lansdell: I'm drawing a blank. The only one I can remember clearly is the one where he teased Bret's music

In-match thoughts

Byers: WOAH. Cameraman takes a spill. It's not often they're out of position like that in WWE.
Lansdell: That damn Sim Snuka! Actually, it looks like HHH knocked him over. That'll teach him to peek at Stephanie's T-bar when she bends over.
Byers: Remember when Shawn Michaels dressed up as a cameraman as part of an angle?
Lansdell: Actually, no
Byers: I forget who he attacked as a result of the disguise, but I distinctly remember that they showed footage from his camera and he was actually perfectly competent at it. Meaning we still have yet to find something in wrestling that HBK CAN'T do well. Aside from job in the mid-90's.
Lansdell: "No absence of malice"? Really Cole? REALLY?
Byers: You should probably be questioning whoever is feeding Cole lines through his headset
Lansdell: The crowd has been hot all night, but they even seem to care about Masters.
Byers: I'm amazed that this crowd is taking Masters somewhat seriously given the level that he's been put on since his return.
Lansdell: Teaming with Orton and against DX will do wonders for anyone I guess.
Byers: And he's held up his end of the bargain, really. He's not looked outstanding, but he hasn't screwed anything up.
Lansdell: But then he was always capable of that
Byers: I disagree. He was brutal when he first got called up. It took him quite some time to even begin approaching "competent." Coincidentally enough, it was during a program with Michaels that he really started to get it.
Lansdell: See now I don't remember that. He might have been a bit green, but to my recollection he was no better or worse than any other call-up. Of course that in itself speaks volumes about the talent being brought to TV. He obviously has potential though.
Byers: Depends on what you mean potential. I have a feeling that he's going to be a career midcard guy regardless of his level of talent. Sort of the new Test, if you will.
Lansdell: That's still more than many people ever achieve. And Test was severely underrated. He was up there with Lance Hoyt, Matt Morgan and Brock Lesnar in terms of athleticism in big men.
Byers: Test in '98, maybe. Test in '07 was as bad as everybody said.
Lansdell: Oh yes, without a doubt.
Byers: Test in '09 is kind of a stiff.
Lansdell: That's...awesome or awful. Not sure which.
Byers: I agree wholeheartedly.

Winners: DX by submission (Michaels on Masters, figure four)
Lansdell: If I'd known at the time they picked the opponents that it was a tag match, it would have been obvious why Masters was picked: to do the job. Fortunately he looked pretty good in the process, which should bump his credibility a touch. Everything else here was exactly what you'd expect from those involved, solid without being spectacular. THe very definition of **½

Post-match shenanigans

Lansdell: As brawls go it was fairly nondescript, nut at least they didn't have Legacy left lying
Byers: No, they just had them get their asses kicked before running away. Which isn't that much of a step up. Really I have no desire at this point to see DX get their hands on Legacy. I want the guy who had his car stolen to get some revenge, though.
Lansdell: Random run-in from random pissed off fan at the PPV? To be honest, Legacy have left DX lying twice now, they couldn't very well do so again.

Lansdell: So, Orton stands tall again, in case we had a doubt about the PPV
Byers: I actually had some doubt put in my mind when they announced that Batista comeback. I would imagine that he has to feud with Orton on his return, and I assumed that would be a title program . . . plus, outside of Orton, I don't know who there is to put up against Cena unless you turn one or both of DX.
Lansdell: Which brings us back to Show and Jericho dropping, although nobody wants Cena-Show again
Byers: Christ no. And, as good as he is, if they manage to switch Jericho over to Raw I don't think he has credibility against Cena given the results of their last several matches.
Lansdell: Truth. Unless they go Batista-Cena, or elevate MVP. Or Henry, especially given that he pinned Orton clean on his first night on Raw.
Byers: Or perhaps Batista's announcement doesn't involve an immediate in-ring return and we just continue on with Cena-Orton after a title change. Or the Cena-Orton program becomes a three-way.
Lansdell: Either way, we're left with options, which is generally good. You never want to be in a position where your main event can only do one feud
Byers: Indeed. Come to think of it, the "career altering announcement" could even be Batista deciding that, if you can't beat them, you should join them . . . Legacy, that is.
Lansdell: I don't think so. It would dilute the concept of the group and make no sense. Maybe he's going to announce that he's becoming a wrestler.

Final Thoughts

Lansdell: You're stuck with me again this week. The early reports are indicating that people thught Barker was the best non-wrestling co-host, some putting him ahead of Shaq and some behind. He did a great job, and I think he was helped by the writers finally figuring out the formula to use to get the host some exposure without building the whole show around them. While I was initially surprised that the entire midcard was left off the show, it makes sense: they're not on the PPV, and this is the go-home show, so why bother? The stories that needed to be developed were developed, and everything they did was done with the aim to make you want to order the PPV. I can say they succeeded but I'll be ordering it anyway, so what do you think readers? Did it work?

Trish is scheduled for the fallout from Breaking Point, but I think I'd like to see this guy next time they're in Canada:



On that note, Stay Cool, Rock Hard. Lansdellicious – Out.