411's TNA Impact Report 10.22.09

Posted by Chris Lansdell on 10.22.2009

An impressive debut for an RoH standout, two very good matches and some interesting seeds sown in the "new era" of Impact!

Hey yo. You know who I am, you know what this is. Forgive me if I'm a bit off tonight, I'm having back spasms and I probably have a torn achilles. But I'm here, I'm fine, I'm jumping around.

Hmm, new style nameplates for the wrestlers. They really want this to feel new.

We open with Kurt Angle who is still announced as the leader of the Main Event Mafia. He immediately references the fact that he is solo, and mentions that tonight is the one-year anniversary of the formation of the MEM. He says MEM was misunderstood, it was never about securing spots. At least it wasn't for him. It was about respect, for the wrestlers and for the game. It wasn't about money o ego, it was about pride. Oooh, attempted face turn. He says that he thought TNA was full of kids looking for handouts, but he was wrong. The boys have grown into men. He saw Eric Young with a passion in his eyes to be better than Kurt. He then puts over AJ Styles HUGE before moving to Morgan. He tells the boys in the back that they have nothing to prove to him, and he is willing to fight their fight. Angle turns to leave but Rhino's music hits.

Rhino says he can't believe what Angle is saying. He thinks the MEM is done. Booker T is gone, and Kurt is fighting with nobody next to him. Rhino asks him to look at the guys that TNA management is behind, and what about them? What about Raven, errr Rhino? Kurt says they earned it. Rhino says they earned nothing. He fought beside them until he saw what was going on. Bobby Lashley was brought in and they cast Rhino aside. Team 3D are coming down the ramp as TNA's crack security squad tries to stop them. They yell at Rhino who is not sorry. He did what he had to do to get their attention. He says they were standing next to people who were brought in to replace them. He asks Bubba (yes, he said Bubba) what he's going to do after wrestling. Rhino is doing an AWESOME job here as a heel. He points out that 3D are not on the card tonight which should tell them something. He invites them to come out and watch his match with Hernandez, which incites 3D again. Kurt Angle stops Ray from attacking Rhino as the War Machine says that TNA management wants him out, and they will only do it by dragging his dead body out of the building. Strong stuff.

Lauren is with AJ and Daniels. AJ says he's still trying to digest what Kurt said, but if he's serious then it's a huge step for TNA. The fight has always been everyone against the competition, not MEM vs TNA. Lauren asks Daniels about the main event for the next PPV, and he says the second instalment would be even better.

Lauren is with Raisha Saaed. Saeed thinks it is crazy that Kong wants to be on her own. Saeed taught her everything. Kong is her puppet, and tonight she will destroy Kong. Ohhhhh I don't think so somehow.

As Taz and Tenay run down the card we see Homicide beating hell out of Amazing Red, leading to...

Amazing Red vs. Homicide

Homicide bounces Red off the apron and rolls him in, and we have a bell. Scoop slam by Homicide but he misses 3 elbow drops in a row as Red shows his quickness. Red lays in some kicks but Homicide catches him with a pumphandle suplex. Chops in the corner by Homicide followed by some EVIL HEEL~! Tactics. Homicide misses a charge in the corner but hits a stun gun. Cover with the feet on the ropes! The ref sees it and remonstrates with Homicide, allowingRed to come back with some kicks and a headscissors. Red ducks a clothesline, hits a kick to the gut and hits a Destroyer for 2.88. Homicide catches Red on the charge in, hits a STIFF sidewalk slam then nails a Gringo Killa for 3!

Winner: Homicide via pinfall (Gringo Killa)
Rating: **¼

Back from commercial and Lauren is with Steiner. He is convinced the MEM is alive and kicking, and will stay that way as long as he's with TNA. Steiner says Angle lost his mind when he gave respect to the young guys and Angle does not speak for him., He's going to beat up the young punks, starting with Mike Morgan. Lauren points out it's Matt Morgan, so Steiner says he doesn't care. He'll beat them both up. He'll beat Matt up so bad, he won't remember his own name. You go, Scott.

Matt Morgan vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner pauses on the way to the ring to pose in front of Kristal and try to make her one of the freaks. She is having none of it.

Steiner takes control with forearms but runs into a Morgan back elbow. Off come the elbow pads and he hits the alternating elbows in the corner, followed by a charging knee...which Steiner somehow blocked. Scott goes to the legs to take Morgan down and gets a suplex. Clothesline by Steiner and the posing elbow/pushups spot. Morgan comes back with a short-arm clothesline out of nowhere, followed by an avalanche in the corner and a roaring lariat. Morgan hits the Boss Man Attack over the top rope and Morgan follows to the outside where Steiner regains control. Instead of going back to the ring Steiner takes the opportunity to molest Kristal. Surprisingly this brings out Lashley, and somehow the ref misses Lashley laying a beating on Steiner outside for a good minute and a half. Lashley throws him back in, Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint and it's academic.

Winner: Matt Morgan via pinfall (Carbon Footprint following Lashley-ference)
Rating: *½

Lauren is with Kong, and she's going to talk. No more orders Raisha. Tonight it's finished.

AJ Styles and Daniels vs. Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe

We have a brawl to get us going, Joe attacking AJ and Nash taking Daniels to the floor. AJ hits the dropkick on Joe. He tags in Daniels who hits a leg lariat for a quick two. Tag back to AJ but Joe regains control with a back elbow and an inverted atomic into a boot and a senton. Tag to Nash who hits a big side slam for two. Tag back to Joe who gets a big kneelift. Joe counters a comeback with a clothesline. Tag back to Nash who hits the corner knees and other assorted corner shots. AJ fights back again but Nash gets another knee. AJ hits the springboard flying forearm and the tide is about to change. Daniels tags in and has shots for all! Leg lariat to Joe, forearm for Nash and a corner clothesline for Joe. He throws Joe into nash then hits a top rope clothesline to Nash, forcing him to DDT Joe. That gets 2. Nash stops him cold with a clothesline and Joe has gone for a chair. AJ WITH AN ASAI ONTO JOE! Daniels went for the tag but AJ is out cold on the floor. Daniels turns right into a Nash chokeslam for the win!

Winners: Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe via pinfall (Nash on Daniels, chokeslam)
Rating: *¼

Nash isn't worried about the victory he says. He wants Eric Young and his belt.

JB is pimping TNA Mobile, but Young cuts him off and says if Nash wants him, he's not hard to find. He says he has a big announcement next week which will rock TNA to its foundation, then quotes Julius Caesar. Culture, on my TNA?

Lauren is with the Guns to discuss Ultimate X Tag Teams. Sabin says they are getting somewhere with the Ultimate X match. They pulled double duty at BFG, but they're going to win anyway. Shelley reaffirms this position.

Backstage the Beautiful People blitz the Lucha Ladies with food. Seriously, it's a food fight.

Awesome Kong vs. Raisha Saeed

Ahem...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! At this time I am contractually obliged to remind you that Kong kills bitches dead. She starts off doing just that and then uses a Giant Swing. Saeed tries to fight back with a series of strikes and a dropkick to the knee. Kong goes to one knee but catches a big boot. She misses the backfist and Saeed lays in some more shots before Kong just levels her. Kong goes up top but Saeed is up and hits a series of kicks to Kong's head! She climbs up top with Kong and hits a Rocker Dropper from the top! 1...2...no! Stomps by Kong and now SHE is going to the second rope into KNEES! Implant Buster s countered, shots by Saeed but she runs into an Awesome....no! Saeed out the back for a sunset flip...oh dear. Kong sits, hits an Implant Buster and that's all she wrote.

Winner: Awesome Kong via bitch-killing
Rating: **

Kong drags Saeed up the ramp...KONG BOMB OFF THE RAMP! Jeff Hardy would be proud pf that bump.

Back from commercial and we see Saeed being stretchered away.

Rhino vs. Hernandez

Team 3D are on commentary, or at least Ray is. Apparently Jesse Neal is doing great at the Academy. Hernandez has the early control and launches Rhino over the top, then hits the SICK tope to the outside. SERIOUS height on that. He rolls Rhino back in, which is a bad plan because Rhino catches Super Mex coming in with a stiff shot. Beatdown now by Rhino and a rear chinlock. Scoop slam by Rhino, he goes to the middle rope and misses whatever he was trying to do. Clotheslines by Hernandez, a whip and a corner splash. Sidewalk slam by Hernandez gets 2. Rhino reverses a whip and hits a shoulder in the corner. Hernandez catches Rhino coming in and pulls himself to the top rope...BIG SPLASH! 1...2...3!

Winner: Hernandez via pinfall (top rope splash)

Post-match Rhino tries to beat down Hernandez, but Super Mex sidesteps the Gore and gets a beatdown of his own going. He sets for the Border Toss but Team 3D stop him saying it's not worth it.

JB is with Angle who says that the young guys do it every night, and it works. He thinks Rhino has a lack of confidence, and that he's getting his title shot soon. NIGEL IS HERE! He walks in and politely introduces himself. "Hi, I'm Dolph Ziggler." Wait, wrong show. He says he is currently known as Desmond Wolf, but you can call him Wolf. He says he became a wrestler and came to TNA becasue of him. They shake hands, then Wolf kills him with Europeans.

They show Wolf's attack on Angle again and Taz mentions that he used to be Nigel McGuinness. 800 RoHbots just marked.


ULTIMATE X #1 Contender's Tag Team Match: The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Lethal Consequences

The Guns' new theme is growing on me. Then again, so does facial hair and I shave that. The bell rings and all four men start climbing, but it quickly breaks down. The Guns hit stereo corner clotheslines, then get a double sidewalk slam on Lethal before sidestepping a charging Creed and sending him to the floor. The Gunsmake ready to fly but put on the breaks when Lethal Consequences move. Sabin is on the apron and hits a NASTY running kick to the chest and face of Lethal on the floor. Sounded very painful indeed. Sabin has climbed to the X and is shimmying his way across, Creed kicks Sabin in the head and pulls Sabin down. Top rope bulldog by Creed to Shelley, and Creed climbs while Lethal holds off Sabin. Shelley is back in and they hit a version of Poetry in Motion on Lethal, then pull Creed down off the X. Shelley facelocks Creed while Sabin climbs, Creed runs Shelley into the ropes, which crotches Sabin. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Lethal, Russian leg sweep by Creed, snap mare and chinlock by Lethal and a basement dropkick by Creed. Beautiful. Lethal climbs now while Creed climbs up with Sabin. Sabin pushes him off, then Shelley helps him walk the top rope to cut off Lethal. Lethal is hanging upside down from the X! Sabin has him in a superplex position and now everyone is up there. I smell tower of doom! Oh my bad, that was Tropical Paradise Glade Scented Oil. In fact Lethal has broken free and scooted across the X. Sabin follows equally fast and they kick each other off the X. Lethal gets boot to each of the Guns as they charge in, springboard missile dropkick by Creed to Sabin! SUPERKICK to Creed by Shelley! DRAGON SUPLEX by Lethal!! Enziguiri by Sabin to Lethal, followed by a tornado DDT! STIFF clothesline by Creed to Sabin! Superkick to Shelley. Double team inverted powerbomb/Cutter by Lethal and Creed. Lethal slaps on a Boston Crab to Sabin while Creed climbs, Shelley is in to cut him off. Springboard clothesline/powerbomb combo by the Guns. Sabin is right there by the X...LETHAL! He hits the Lethal Combo, then goes up to the top with Shelley but Sabin is over...MADE IN DETROIT! Shelley sells a bad knee while Sabin once again climbs...He's right on the X but Creed is up! Creed jumps from the top rope right to the X, but Sabin drops with it!

Winners: Motor City Machine Guns via retrieval
Rating: ***½

Lauren is with British Invasion. Doug Williams says they are the best tag team in TNA, and the World Elite has done everything they wanted to do. Life is pretty good in the US, he says. Magnus says not to get carried away, the place is stillfull of fat useless slobs. He says alcohol and money are the only thing that Americans care about. He forgot health care reform. Tonight they take out Beer Money. Sorry about their bloody luck.

JB is with Beer Money. This is their last shot apparently. They don't seem very happy about the comments of the Brits.

SIX SIDES OF STEEL TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The British Invasion © vs. Beer Money

Roode takes down Williams with a back elbow and gets a mount, Williams throws him off but gets clotheslined. Flying forearm gets 2 for Roode, Magnus tries to break it but hits his partner. Gutwrench suplex by Williams gets control. Tag to Magnus who whips Roode in hard. Tag back to Williams and they hit the tandem necktie. 2 count for Williams. Roode blocks a charge and tries to fight his way to a tag but Williams blocks it and reaches his foot back to tag in Magnus. Magnus drops an elbow on Roode's taped ribs, then locks in a camel clutch. Roode fights out but Magnus goes to the ribs. Roode reverses a whip and sends Magnus to the cage wall, then hits a spinebuster. Both men are down, tag to Williams and now to Storm! Forearms everywhere! Baaaack body drops for each man. He is a house! En! FUEGO~! Lungblower to Magnus, a rib-breaker/uranage combo for Williams. 1...2...no. Roode in, they lift Magnus in suplex position into the cage wall, then hit the double suplex. Wait for it...

BEER!
MONEY!

Catapult by Roode to Williams into a DDT by Storm! 1...2...no! Storm puts Williams up top but Magnus takes Storm out. They signal for the European Hart Attack, but Williams is climbing to the top...of the cage! Storm gets an enziguiri on Magnus and climbs up after Williams. OH FUCK TOWER OF DOOM OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!! Brutus Magnus just saved Storm's life on that. Storm was overbalancing and Magnus adjusted to make sure Storm did not land on his head. DWI CONNECTS!!! 1...2...MAGNUS stops the ref from counting three, then nails him! Officials come swarming from the locker room, and Earl Hebner calls for the DQ!

Winners: Beer Money via DQ (ref beating)
Rating: ***

Angle is dressed to compete and headed to the ring! Commerical!

We're back and Lauren is asking AJ about the issue between him and Daniels after the tag match. AJ brushes her off, and som,eone attacks him! Looked like Desmond Wolf again to me, definite light on bald head.

Angle is coming out, he calls out "whatever your name is" and tells him to come get some if he wants to make a name for himself. Tenay and Taz are taking every opportunity to drop Wolf's name. Angle gives him a few seconds to come out, then goes up the ramp to find him WOLF from the crowd takes Angle down! He takes the time to fold his suit jacket, giving Angle a chance to recover. He takes Wolf to the announce table then brings him to the ring where Wolf kicks him in the nuts. TOWER OF LONDON! Wolf goes looking for a chair, which he holds over Angle's throat. He says it would be this easy, but he wants Angle to think about it. He then reminds Angle of his name. So, who thinks Nigel would have beat the shit out of a Shawn Michaels on his debut? Yeah, me neither.