411's WWE Raw Report 11.09.09

Posted by Rob McNew on 11.09.2009

Boxer Ricky Hatton guest hosts Raw from England, and books a huge tag team main event between Jerishow and DX. Elsewhere Hatton himself climbs in the ring to face off with Chavo Guerrero, Mark Henry goes one on one with Randy Orton, and Jack Swagger's undefeated streak comes to an unceremonious ending.



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-Welcome back to another edition of Monday Night Raw live on tape from across the pond in Sheffield, England. British boxing star Ricky "The Hitman" Hatton hosts tonight. Randy Orton is in action facing off with Mark Henry, and we will see Unified Tag Team Champions The Big Show and Chris Jericho taking on DX.

-Taped from Sheffield Arena in Sheffield, England

-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry "The King" Lawler

-Ricky Hatton is brought to the ring by the Bella Twins who are both taller than him. Hatton says its great to back in Sheffield, and says a bunch of stuff that I can't quite understand. This guy needs subtitles. We get some clips of some of his knockouts, and after sucking up to the crowd a bit he gets quickly interrupted by Jerishow who are here in near record time to save the segment. Show says he had a big English breakfast this morning, and he thinks it was bigger than him. Show says he's knocked people out too, and tells Hatton get out of their ring before they make a memory he'll never forget. Hatton asks why he has to be like that, and says he's a big fan of WWE and a big fan of Show. He says he loved it when he got knocked out by "one of them boxers" at Wrestlemania. Show says since he loved that moment so much he'll give Hatton the same opportunity he gave Floyd Mayweather. He's going to give him a free shot right in the chin, but the difference is afterwards he's going to knock him out. Hatton says he's up to the challenge, but he'll need to get a ladder. Show says we don't need a ladder, and gets down on his knees for Hatton. Ricky winds up, but Jericho steps in front and tells him to "hold it little man." He tells Show he's not going to let him get embarrassed by a lowlife boxer again, and they have enough to worry about at Survivor Series. Show asks what that means, and Jericho says he's on the biggest role of his career. He takes credit for all of Jerishow's accomplishment, and says at Survivor Series he's going to take out Taker and Show for the title. Show calls him Napolean, and they get into a little argument. Hatton interrupts and says he's in charge and he wants to see DX vs. Jerishow tonight. Jericho says Hatton is no different than all of dental hygentically challenged Brits who follow the biggest hypocrite of them all Queen Elizabeth. Hatton tells him to speak his language in his country, and Jericho calls him punch drunk. Hatton tells him he's a guy with a bad haircut, and orders Jericho out of his face. That brings out DX to join the proceedings. HHH asks how many times they have to do this before they understand where its going. He says Show came out and messed with Shaq and got embarrassed, and says Jericho got punked by an 85 year old Bob Barker. He says they're lucky DX showed up because Hatton was about 10 seconds from knocking them both out. DX thanks Hatton for the match, and says they'll take care of the Honey Monster and Mr. Bean tonight. Shawn says forget about tonight, and instead we'll take care of business right now. HBK knocks Jericho from the ring, and that leaves Show to stare down both DX members and Hatton. Show thinks better of it, and decides to leave with Jericho. HHH says that's the way it goes as there is only one DX, and only one Ricky Hatton. Hatton finishes with the "if you're not down with that" line.

Kelly Kelly (w. Gail Kim) vs. Alicia Fox (w. Jillian Hall)
Not sure what the point is of the seconds other than to sell the Survivor Series match, but whatever. Kelly hits a Lou Thesz press off the bell, but gets tripped into the second rope by Alicia who delivers a stomp. Alicia drives Kelly face first into the mat, and then hits a running clothesline. Alicia locks in a side headlock, but Kelly is able to counter with a chinbuster. Kelly hits a pair of clotheslines, and then a hurracanrana gets two. Kelly delivers a pair of forearms, and then a fame asser for two. Alicia comes back to drop Kelly on the top rope, and then the scissor kick finishes at 2:36. I've seen worse. Not much, but I've seen worse.
Winner: Alicia Fox (Pinfall-Scissor Kick ½*)

-Ricky Hatton and his son head through the locker room, and he runs into John Cena. Cena says he made a great main event, but he forgot all about him. Hatton mumbles something I can't make out, and then Cena shakes hands with the kid. Punch drunk British boxers don't make the best guest hosts.

Sheamus vs. Jobber McJobberton
Sheamus said last week he was going to end Jamie Noble's career, and that's exactly what he did. He says he's now going to do what the Irish have always done and that's walk through this Englishman. Sheamus destroys the unnamed jobber with a series of strikes and elbow drops. The Rock Bottom into a backbreaker sets up the jumping big boot by Sheamus. Razor's Edge finishes at 1:59. Total squash obviously.
Winner: Sheamus (Pinfall-Razors Edge SQUASH)

-The Bellas talk to Ricky Hatton and he again mumbles some stuff. What I made out was he's got a clothing line, and he's promoting boxers. They challenge him to a dart match, but Santino stops by in full boxing garb and a stuffed outfit. Ricky says it is his alter ego "Ricky Fatton." Chavo stops by and sees the darts, and lets us know he's a pretty good dart player. He says he won the "Cinco Dart Mayo" contest three years in a row. Chavo throws a dart which misses, and Hatton of course hits a bullseye. Chavo says he's here to challenge Santino to a match, but Ricky butts in and instead books himself in a boxer vs. wrestler match with Chavo tonight.

-Josh Mathews talks to The Miz who asks if everyone has forgotten what happened at Bragging Rights. He says he's the only one to win at Bragging Rights, and at Survivor Series he's going to do it again. Because he's The Miz and he's… Jack Swagger interrupts and says he's in awe of Jack Swagger. Swagger tells Miz to watch him beat Evan Bourne tonight, and that leads to an argument. Swagger says when he's done they're going to make him team captain.

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger takes Bourne down with a double leg, and then fires Evan face first into the turnbuckle. Swagger whips Bourne into the corner, and then hits a Vader Bomb. Swagger does a few pushups, and then grabs a double arm chicken wing. Swagger throws Bourne into the corner, and buries a shoulderblock into the midsection. Swagger charges into a knee from Bourne who comes off the second rope with a flying knee for two. Bourne hits a rollup for two, and then delivers a kick to the hamstrings. Swagger fires back with right hands, but Bourne hits the ropes and drives the knees into the face for two. Swagger is right back on the offense with a big boot, and Miz's music then hits mid match. Swagger hits a belly-to-belly suplex, as Miz watches from the aisle. Swagger goes for a suplex, but Bourne counters out with a knee to the face and a kick to the jaw. Bourne hits the Air Bourne and that gets the win at 3:41!?!? Why the hell do you do an undefeated gimmick, and have the guy lose in a three minute match to a glorified jobber on Raw a month into it? Makes no sense whatsoever. Miz says he's the team captain, because he's the Miz and he's awesome.
Winner: Evan Bourne (Pinfall-Air Bourne *1/2)

-MVP and Mark Henry are in the ring for the VIP Lounge. They bring out their guest and team captain at Survivor Series Kofi Kingston. MVP thanks him for selecting the World Strongest Tag Team for his Survivor Series, and Kofi says he couldn't have selected a team without picking them. MVP tells Kofi he made a statement when he destroyed Randy's car, and Mark says that was good but this is better and sends us to video clips of last week when the three of them defeated Legacy. Kofi says that's only a taste of what they have in store for them at Survivor Series. MVP proposes a toast to their Survivor Series team captain, but Randy Orton and Legacy decide to interrupt the festivities. Orton says the three of them act like they're sitting on top of the world, but the truth is they're nothing but a bunch of low class street thugs. Orton says take Henry for example, and says last week he stole a victory. He calls MVP the definition of the common criminal, and says Kofi should be in jail after what he did to his car. He says the only reason he hasn't done anything yet is because he wants to embarrass his team at Survivor Series. Rhodes asks if this is really VIP, but says his surrounds aren't VIP. Dibiase makes fun of their cheap surrounds, and makes reference to his bank account. Orton says they were all born into the business and the ring is where they belong, but these three need to go back to the hood where they belong. Subtle racial overtones abound as Kofi slaps Orton and we cut to a very abrupt break.

Randy Orton (w. Legacy) vs. Mark Henry (w. Kofi Kingston & Montel Vontavious Porter)
Joined in progress out of the break with Henry taking control with a shoulderblock. Orton catches him coming in with a low dropkick sending Henry crashing face first into the turnbuckle. Orton climbs to the second rope to deliver a few shots, but Henry just bearhugs him out and delivers a clothesline for two. Henry goes for an elbow drop which misses, and Orton goes to the stomps. Orton delivers a kneedrop for two, and then delivers a kick to the ribs. Orton goes back to work driving the knee into the forehead of Henry, and then locks in a reverse chinlock. Orton hits the ropes, but runs into a powerslam from Henry which picks up two. Henry connects with a headbutt and then a clothesline. Avalanche connects by Henry who follows up again with a series of headbutts. Orton collapses in the corner, but then gets sent to the ropes and goes for a sunset flip. Henry blocks that and picks Orton up by the throat, but Orton hits the RKO out of nowhere for the win at 4:57. Very strong clean win for Orton here. I guess Orton looked way too strong in victory, because afterward as Kofi is helping Henry Orton gives him a slap. Kofi smacks him back, and Orton bails the ring to the floor.
Winner: Randy Orton (Pinfall-RKO *3/4)

Boxer vs. Wrestler: Chavo Guerrero vs. "The Hitman" Ricky Hatton
Hatton comes to the ring wearing a Sombraro. Too bad it's not Chris Masters. That's an inside joke that only some of you will get. Hatton is introduced at "slightly over 140 pounds." Hatton must win by knockout, and Chavo must win by pin or submission are the rules. Hatton delivers a series of body blows causing Chavo to bail to the floor for a breather. Back inside Chavo takes down Hatton with a double leg, but is unable to hold him down and Hatton gets back to his feet. Chavo kicks Hatton in the gut, and tries for a go behind take down. Hatton spins around and knocks Chavo out at 2:15. That was quite uneventful, but thankfully short. Apparently Hornswoggle couldn't get through customs or something.
Winner: "The Hitman" Ricky Hatton (Knockout ½*)

-Nevermind here's Swoggle with Cena in the locker room. He lectures the little guy on wearing DX's stuff, and then hears DX coming and tells him to hide. They are looking for the leprechaun, but Cena says maybe instead of chasing leprechauns around the arena they should focus on their match tonight. Cena says maybe they can focus on the triple threat match, and he knows he's the odd man out. Triple H says they understand how a triple threat works, and he says only one man can walk out Champion. Shawn again accuses him of hiding Swoggle, but out pops Swoggle wearing Cena's stuff instead. Cena and Swoggle both deliver a "you can't see me" to DX. Shawn says maybe they can't see him, but at Survivor Series maybe they will. Shawn walks away, and Cena says he doesn't even know what that means. HHH says don't worry no one understands Shawn. 90% of you are going to shit all over the segment, but I don't care. This was hilarious.

-Next week's guest host none other than "Rowdy" Roddy Piper live from MSG.

Chris Jericho & The Big Show vs. D-Generation X
John Cena joins us on commentary for this one, and England still doesn't like them some Cena. Jericho and HBK start things off, and Jericho takes control with a shoulderblock. Jericho ducks a clothesline, but eats a chop from Michaels who makes the tag to HHH. Jericho eats the buckle, and gets whipped into the corner. HHH charges into the boot from Jericho, but comes back with a high knee. HHH catches Jericho on a dropkick attempt, and delivers a catapult sending him over the top to the floor as we head to commercial. Back from break with HBK and Jericho going at it. Jericho stops a backdrop attempt with a kick, and makes the tag to Big Show. Show sends Shawn for the ride, but gets hit with a low dropkick for a one count. Show delivers a headbutt to Shawn, and then walks across the chest to make the tag. Jericho delivers a knee lift to Shawn, and then drives him face first into the buckle before tagging Show back in. Show hammers Shawn down with a forearm to the back, and then goes for a bodyslam. Shawn slides down the back, and that allows him to tag in HHH. HHH comes in with a facebuster, and goes for the pedigree but Show counters into a backdrop. Show hits a spear on HHH, and then delivers a body blow in the corner before tagging in Jericho. Jericho hits a running kick to the ribs, and locks in the half nelson chinlock. HHH hammers free, but runs into a knee lift from Jericho for a two count. Show tags back in, and they wishbone the legs of HHH before Show walks across his chest. Show delivers a couple body blows, but charges into a boot from HHH. HHH explodes out of the corner, but runs right into a clothesline from Show who regains control. Show hits a big splash for a two count, and then grabs a reverse a bearhug as Jericho implores the announcers to tell everyone Show is a giant destroyer. Show tags in Jericho, who buries a series of shoulderblocks in the corner. Jericho sends HHH into the corner, and looks to go for the running bulldog but instead gets hit with a spinebuster which allows the hot tag to Shawn. Shawn delivers a flying forearm, and then a pair of inverted atomic drops. Bodyslam connects by Shawn who then knocks Show off the apron before heading to the top rope. Patented top rope elbow connects from Shawn who then tunes up the band. Jericho ducks sweet chin music, and goes for the Walls of Jericho. Shawn kicks out of that, but Show attacks from behind to make the save. Show goes for a knockout punch on HBK, but he ducks and instead Show levels Jericho with it. HHH is back to clothesline Show over the top to the floor, and that allows Shawn to cover the unconscious Jericho to pick up the win at 13:03. Perfectly acceptable television main event. Afterward Justin Roberts announces next week's main event. A triple threat tag team match featuring Chris Jericho and The Big Show vs. D-Generation X vs. John Cena and The Undertaker. Taker walks out and stares down from the aisle as we head off the air.
Winner: D-Generation X (Michaels pins Jericho-Knockout Punch **1/2)

-Not the best effort this week, and certainly far below the level that the British Raw's usually are. Seems like they're putting all their eggs into the MSG Raw basket. Nothing out and out terrible, just pretty meh all around.