411’s TNA Epics Report 3.16.10: The X-Division

Posted by Larry Csonka on 03.17.2010

TNA Epics returns with a look at the X-Division, and the greatest match in the history of TNA…

Tenay starts us off with the usual X-Division hype. Eric Bischoff surprisingly makes an appearance, as I thought that they would just use old stock footage. He puts over the division, says it is more intense than the cruiserweights and that they have gone to a new level. We get clips of old school X-Division action, and Kurt Angle and Taz add their praise for the division.

CSONKA REVIEW: From Sacrifice 2008 - Steel Asylum: Kaz vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Johnny Devine, vs. Shark Boy vs. Curry Man vs. Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Consequences Creed

It looks like an old school block cage, RED, with the dome portion being lowered onto it. It is kind of hard to see through. They start to climb right away and pair off to brawl. Curry Man gets a jawbreaker on Rave. Creed with a rolling thunder levels Curry Man, Machismo and Dutt work together as the ref is tied up top of the cage. Kaz gets the backdrop piledriver on Devine, the Guns are working together as well and double team Sharky. Dutt with a swank spinning head scissors on Sabin, but Shelley flapjacks him for his troubles. They Guns double team Machismo now as well, and Creed is climbing on the dome portion. Kaz tries to take him down, but gets a leg drop onto Curry Man. CREED DIVES OFF ONTO KAZ! He cleans house, but Curry Man is back and takes him out, only for the Guns to level him. Dutt and Machismo battle the Guns, but Kaz gets a dual dropkick to them. Kaz climbs, but is stopped by Rave, Creed up as well with Devine and Sharky Over…SUPER RANA TOWER OF DOOM~! Curry Man tries the spice rack, but Dutt gets the dragon DDT as a counter. Machismo climbs, Rave up as well and slams Machismo off of the cage and gets the spinning cradle neck breaker, or the move that rocks the world as he calls it. Dutt tries to climb, but Shelley stops that. Curry Man and Dutt climb again, and Creed gets the CREEDDT on Rave. The Guns double-team him as Sharky gets a chummer on Sabin! He climbs and Sabin leaps to the top and they fight for position, DEEP SEA DRIVER off of the top! Kaz gets the wave of the future on Sharky and Dutt and Curry Man go flying off of the side of the cage into a pile of men! Curry Man and Rave battle, but Rave with an STO levels him. Rave climbs, Curry Man up, slams him off of the cage, TOP ROPE SPICE RACK~! CURRY MAN DANCE! Curry Man hits Kaz and Machismo, climbs now and Kaz up with him, Kaz tossed off, but climbs back up, they brawl, REVERSE FLUX CAPACITOR!!!!!!! Kaz now climbs, Devine over to stop him and they trade chops up top. TOP ROPE LUNG BLOWER BY DEVINE! DEVINE INTERVENTION on Creed! Devine now climbs, as does Rave. Kaz follows and grabs at Devine, and pulls him off onto EVERYONE else! Kaz goes for the escape, everyone is trying to climb…but KAZ WINS and gets a title shot later in the show.

Winner: KAZ @ 10:45
CSONKA RATING: ***½

Next is discussion of Ultimate X. Joe, Angle and Eric Young discuss the match, with Angle saying that the X Division has separated TNA from the other companies.

LANSDELL REVIEW: From Bound for Glory 2009 - Ultimate X: Amazing Red vs. Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley

The Guns are out first, having earned their spot on the preshow by beating Lethal Consequences. That seems to have been a last-second decision as D'Angelo Dinero was called away due to a family emergency. Am I the only one who finds that uncomfortable?

The bell rings and the madness commences. Daniels attacks Red, Shelley is on Suicide and Sabin is on Homicide. Russian leg sweep by Suicide. Overhead belly to belly on Sabin by Homicide. Red gets a spinning headscissors on Daniels sending him to the floor, then whips Homicide who hits a somersault senton to the outside! Finlay Roll by Suicide who then leaps out to the floor onto Homicide! Tope by Sabin into Suicide! Red hits a spinkick on Shelley and tags a run up to fly but Daniels wipes him out with a leg lariat! Daniels climbs but Red is back up and crotches him, then goes up top...bugger me a rana to the outside sends both Daniels and himself to the floor! Sabin gets Red in a giant swing on the inside...SHELLEY catches Red with a dropkick to the head mid-spin!!! Daniels is back in and ducks under the attempted double clothesline before hitting the clothesline/bulldog tandem takedown. Homicide is climbing while nobody else is watching! He's on the X! He's right by the belt!! Suicide SPRINGBOARDS UP BEHIND HIM!!! Hangman's neckbreaker from the X by Suicide!!! The Guns hit a series of kicks on Homicide and...wow. I dunno what to call that. Double stomp from the top by Shelley onto Daniels AND Homicide, who were positioned over the knees of Sabin. Daniels avoids a double team by the Guns but they come back with a missile dropkick Doomsday Device! Red is climbing now, the Guns cut him off and try the powerbomb/super Sliced Bread combo! Red fights off Shelley, ranas Sabin then trips Sabin into Shelley before hitting a reverse DDT on Sabin. Suicide out of nowhere hits Shelley with a springboard missile dropkick while Shelley is in the tree of woe. Homicide hits a swank pump handle suplex on Suicide and a neckbreaker on Red and he's the last man standing. He climbs the scaffold and is on the X again, Daniels jumps to punch him in the kidneys and then hauls him off the X to hit a DVD! RANA to a kneeling Daniels by Red and Daniels goes headfirst to the mat! Ouch. Red is on the X now but seems unsure how to get across, Suicide is up but Red kicks him off. Daniels tries to stop Red and gets kicked down, and Red starts going across DROPKICK BY SUICIDE and Red goes face-first to the mat! Blue Thunder Driver by Daniels to Suicide, and both he and Sabin are on the X now! The 2 Ultimate X veterans are hanging on opposite sides of the belt kicking each other! They both drop together and Sabin hits a stiff enziguiri and a SEXY springboard tornado DDT. Suicide Solution to Sabin! Standing Sliced Bread by Shelley to Suicide! Front Suplex by Suicide to Shelley, followed by a HUGE lariat! Gringo Killa to Daniels countered to a Flatliner!!! RED off the top with a tornado Flatliner!!! Good God I'm out of breath just from typing! Red is climbing again, Suicide cuts him off but Red...looks like he's setting for a Destroyer from the top!!!! Sabin is over and grabs Suicide for a German! TOWER OF DOOM and everyone hits Daniels!!! Holy shit. Homicide cuts off Shelley but Shelley shoves him off the top and leaps right into an exploder by Homicide. Red hits a spin kick to Homicide, goes up top....INFRARED! Red Star Express! Sabin is on top and gets kicked in the head by Suicide, who then goes up top with him...FLUX CAPACITOR!!!!!!! Daniels...BME TO SABIN!!! Daniels is going up top now and is climbing the OUTSIDE of the scaffold, Suicide is doing the same on another side, Red is following Daniels...OH FUCK Daniels and Suicide are on top of the scaffold, above the X. "Please don't die" - Orange County. Daniels wants a superplex off the scaffold!!! Red was knocked down before we got this far. They are teasing the uber bump between Daniels and Suicide, Red is now on top of the scaffold too. Daniels drops down and is sitting on the cable above the belt, Suicide is right there with him,. The Guns are climbing too! Red is prone on top of the scaffold!!! Wait...no. NO WAY!!! FUCK HE'S DEAD. Daniels went for a Flatliner off the cable but over-rotated and landed ON HIS HEAD. Red drops down on top of the belt as Shelley is crawling towards it, Red unbuckles and retains!!!

Winner: Amazing Red
LANSDELL RATING: ***

Finally we come to what is regarded as the best match in TNA history. Joe and Daniels stress what it meant for them that the X-Division title headlined a PPV.

CSONKA REVIEW: From Unbreakable 2005- TNA X-Division Title Match: AJ Styles vs. Daniels © vs. Samoa Joe

Daniels talks shit and AJ and Joe kick the shit out of him! Chops by Joe and then forearms by AJ. Slam by Joe and a stiff kick. AJ says he will show him and kicks Daniels! They play one-ups-man-ship and beat the holy hell out of Daniels! The crowd loves it. AJ gets a quick roll up on Joe for 2. And again for 2. Crazy rings of Saturn variation by Joe and Daniels is back in. Leg lariat by Daniels to AJ. Joe over to beat down Daniels and gets a swank Enziguri to Daniels! Daniels to the floor and Joe works over AJ. DEAR LORD he kicked AJ in half. Daniels trips up Joe and works over AJ. Then a right to Joe and a bulldog/spin kick combo to AJ and Joe and Daniels covers AJ for 2. Joe back in control on Daniels and has AJ and Daniels in opposite corners. Whips AJ and Daniels moves, and tries to chop away at Joe. Forearms by Joe and Daniels charges and eats a ST JOE! Tilt a whirl head scissors by AJ to Joe. Kick by AJ to Joe, forearms and then Joe kills him with a belly to belly into the corner! Face wash by Joe. OLAY is broken up by Daniels and Joe to the floor. Split legged moonsault to Joe on the floor. Daniels and Joe battle and AJ is up…SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO BOTH MEN ON THE FLOOR! SWEET JESUS! Crowd going wild! AJ and Joe back in the ring and AJ covers for 2. Off the ropes and Joe refuses, AJ with the swank dropkick sequence gets 2. Daniels back in as AJ picks Joe up. Daniels nails AJ and Whips him to the corner. He whips Joe, reversal and Daniels monkey flips AJ into Joe and AJ gets a RANA out of it! Daniels rolls up AJ for a quick 2. Daniels tosses AJ and he FLIES to the floor! Daniels with a high knee to Joe. Rights to Joe now and Joe fights back rapid fire! Knees of death! Daniels with a roll up…REAR NAKED CHOKE BY JOE! AJ up top…SPIRAL TAP TO BOTH MEN to break it up! AJ covers Joe for 2. Covers Daniels for 2. Daniels tosses AJ back to the floor and focuses on Joe. Knees to Joe, and the STO by Daniels. AJ back in…BME, but AJ crotches Daniels. Tree of Woe on Daniels, and AJ Kicks away at him...RUNNING KNEE OF DOOM by Joe! Running basement dropkick by Joe to Daniels! "This is Awesome" chants. Dropkick by Joe, running senton to AJ and Joe gets 2! Knees by Joe to Daniels. Daniels has Joe up…DEATH VALLEY DRIVER TO JOE…1…2…AJ breaks it up. Chops by AJ to Daniels. Suplex try, reversal and AJ to the apron. On the floor, AJ misses a moonsault, to his feet and JOE WITH A NO HANDS SPINNING PLANCHA TO BOTH MEN! HOLY SHIT! AJ and Daniels look dead. Daniels tossed back in and Joe follows. Joe has him in the corner… Daniels set up top…Muscle Buster try, AJ in…he and Daniels fight up top…Joe up…DOUBEL BACK BODY DROP by Joe! Joe has AJ and they exchange forearms. AJ on fire, Joe fights back! SICK release German by Joe! AJ set up top…MUSCLE BUSTA TO AJ! POWERSLAM to Daniels who had the title belt! Joe has the belt and the ref tries to take it and Daniels gets an Enziguri to the belt to the head of Joe! Joe to the floor and Daniels has AJ up. Forearms to AJ. AJ fights back and Daniels tries a German, reversal and a BLUE THUNDA DRIVA BY DANIELS gets 2! Uranage by Daniels to AJ and BEST MOONSAULT EVER to AJ! 1…2…JOE IS BACK! Killer kicks to Daniels. Jawbreaker by Daniels to Joe. Last Rights to Joe who falls to the floor. Rights by Daniels to AJ. Off the ropes, boot by AJ, Asai DDT to Daniels gets 2! AJ is up, Joe climbs back in and AJ up top… Daniels up and nails him. Daniels up top with him…SUPERPLEX to AJ! Everyone is down. Joe covers Daniels and gets 2. Covers AJ and gets 2. Joe with a powerbomb to Daniels, into the STF! Daniels gets the ropes and AJ gets to his feet. Joe has Daniels, jabs away at him. Forearms to AJ. PELE kick to Joe! Torture Rack by AJ to Joe! AJ slams him down and gets 2! Daniels with head butts to AJ now. AJ slammed onto Joe by Daniels. Reversal and a roll up into the CLASH by AJ to Daniels! 1…2…NO! Joe saves the match! Joe tosses AJ to the floor and Joe charges, but Daniels moves and Joe flies to the floor. AJ back in and Daniels has him. Rights to AJ. AJ fires back. Rapid fire by AJ, and an eye poke by Daniels. Off the ropes and Angels Wings reversed and AJ gets a roll up and WINS!

Winner: and NEW X Champion AJ Styles @ 23:00 via pin
CSONKA RATING: *****

THAT WAS A TRIPLE BACON BAD ASS BURGER WITH AN EXTRA SIDE OF AWESOME SAUCE~!~!~!

And I'm spent…