411’s WWE Smackdown Report 04.23.10

Hi, I’m Michael Uphoff, your Smackdown reviewer! With Extreme Rules just a mere two days away, things are shaping up to be a good card. I have to say, I do hope Swagger wins clean over Orton. It would really help the kid out. With that being said, let’s get to it! SMACKDOWN!

We see a recap of Swagger winning the triple threat and retaining, then Doctor Bombing Edge, and then Jericho working over the Achilles tendon of Edge.

Jack Swagger’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring.

Striker and Grisham put over the Extreme Rules match between Swagger and Orton and the fact that anything can happen in an extreme rules match. Striker is impressed with Swagger’s showing against the Undertaker on Monday Night RAW, as was I. Thought he did pretty well. Grisham put over the Smackdown Triple Threat match, where Swagger retained the title over Edge and Chris Jericho. If you missed it, see it. It was really good, and could be a frontrunner MOTYC for free TV MOTY. Swagger has a mic and says that he is on a roll. “Last week, I defeated two future first-ballot WWE Hall of Famers. Edge, a nine-time former world champion and Chris Jericho, the best in the world at what he does. I guess that makes me the best now. Then there was this past Monday on RAW, where I dominated the Undertaker like no other superstar has been able to do.” Riiiiiiight. “Including Shawn Michaels. But hey, that’s what’s expected of you when you are the greatest natural born competitor in the WWE. And I don’t like to brag, I really don’t, so I’m going to let the video package do that for me.” A video package showing last Monday Night RAW and his match with Undertaker appears. Swagger says,” and that says it all. It really does. If you look at that, and ask me if I look like a winner, I say no. I look like a champion. And this champion, YOUR champion, hopes to become a permanent member of the Smackdown roster next week, a show where I am respected and admired, a show where my championship presence can flourish and I can inspire an entire universe. This Sunday, I plan to dominate Randy Orton and give you a champion you can all believe in. A champion that can transcend generations. And I know the viper will be ready, coiled, waiting to strike, fangs out, waiting for that precise moment to ensure that it injects the champion with its venom, a venom that can kill an normal man in three short seconds. But Randy Orton, you’re not looking at a normal man. A normal man does not roll off a streak of 30 straight consecutive pinfall victories. What you’re looking at, Randy Orton, is the antidote. I’m not playing with the viper, I’m going straight for the viper’s neck. And I’m gonna cut its head off.” Good promo by Swagger, setting up for his match at Extreme Rules. Kinda got sidetracked a little, but picked up at the end.

Jack Swagger (c) vs. John Morrison- non-title

John Morrison makes his way out to the ring in his slow-motion entrance. The bell rings, and Swagger grabs a single leg takedown. They lock up, and Morrison gets a go-behind, but Swagger reverses. Morrison tries to roll through, but Swagger holds on and rolls him over the mat. To their feet, Morrison reverses and gets a go-behind on Swagger, but Swagger elbows him off. Scoop slam by Swagger.

Dear Michael Cole,
THAT is a scoop slam, not what Randy Orton does. That is a powerslam.
Regards, Jack Swagger.

Off the ropes goes Swagger, and he misses a leaping leg drop. Morrison comes off the ropes and hits the Shining Wizard for 2. Corner offense by Morrison, Irish whip by Morrison reversed by Swagger, Morrison slides under Swagger but Swagger just powers Morrison down! Commercial.
Back from commercial, Swagger has a bodyscissors locked on Morrison, but Morrison fights out. Swagger just gut-punches him. Swagger sets Morrison up top, and hits some rights. He goes up top, looks for a superplex, Morrison blocks, counters, and knocks Swagger off the ropes! Missile dropkick by Morrison! 1…2…NO! LA MAHISTROL cradle by Morrison! 1…2…NO! It’s been forever since I’ve seen that. Morrison with some rights, and some corner offense. Irish whip from the corner by Morrison, and Swagger hits chest first. Morrison goes for the Chuck Kick! Swagger boots him in the chest as he lands! That gets a close 2! Swagger drops some elbows on the midsection of Morrison, softening him up for the Doctor Bomb. Swagger hits a double leg drop to the chest of Morrison, reminiscent of Kofi’s Boom Drop. That gets 2. Swagger locks a modified armbar submission on Morrison, and Morrison fights out. Morrison off the ropes, and tries for the wheelbarrow, and Swagger counters and PLANTS Morrison on the mat. Looks like Swagger is bleeding in the mouth. Swagger taunts him and goes for the same submission, but Morrison blocks. Swagger lays in some shots, and locks it in again. Morrison fights to his feet, and makes it to the corner, and hiptosses Swagger over him. Morrison goes after Swagger, Swagger grabs him and goes for the powerslam, but Morrison reverses to a tornado DDT! They tease a double KO spot, and both men make it to their feet at 7. Morrison with some rights, ducks a blow, lands some more rights. Flying shoulderblock by Morrison! Morrison throws Swagger over the ropes, but Swagger lands on the apron. He jumps over the ropes, but Morrison enzuigiris him! 1…2…2.889! Swagger reverses an Irish whip, goes for a back suplex, but Morrison rolls over and gets an O’Connor Roll! 1…2…NO! CHUCK KICK by Morrison! 1…2..2.95! Man that was really close. Way to sell by Swagger. Irish whip, reversed by Swagger, off the ropes countered by Morrison, Swagger scoops up Morrison and hangs him up to dry on the top rope! DOCTOR BOMB! 1…2…THRE-NO! Morrison grabbed the bottom rope! Holy shit, this is good. I thought that was it. Swagger picks up Morrison and goes for the Oklahoma Stampede, but Morrison sends him into the turnbuckle! Pele kick to the face of Swagger! That sets him up for STARSHIP PAIN! 1…2…3!

Winner: John Morrison via pinfall with Starship Pain- Great match, but I totally disagree with the result. If Swagger can’t beat Morrison, who the hell is going to buy him beating Orton? Of course, that may just be what the WWE wants us to think. Anyhow, great work and selling by both guys. Nice to see some moves we haven’t seen from them before. ***1/2

Tony Chimel says still the World Heavyweight Champion, Jack Swagger! Maybe not Sunday.

They show the steel cage above the ring, as Striker and Grisham hype the steel cage match between Edge and Chris Jericho. I’d say Edge wins, just to further the feud.

Backstage, we see CM Punk in Teddy Long’s office talking about the damage that Rey has done to Punk’s hair. Punk says you have a sociopathic gremlin running around with clippers cutting people’s hair. That was pretty good. Teddy Long says it’s his problem. Punk responds, “It’s your show! Rey Mysterio did this to me on Monday Night RAW because he knows that Sunday at Extreme Rules, he’s not going to be able to cut my hair.” Teddy says that he hopes Punk does beat Mysterio for Punk’s sake, actually for everyone’s sake. “Because you’re gonna look real ugly with a bald head.”- Long. Gallows scoffs at this. Punk asks Long if he thinks it’s funny. Teddy says only a handsome man like him can pull off the bald head. “You know what, Chuckles? You’re not going to find this funny when I find Rey Mysterio tonight and hurt him.”- Punk. Teddy says you won’t have to wait long and makes a match between the SES and Kane and Rey Mysterio. Many things Kane may be, but handsome and debonair aren’t two of them. Punk walks off distraught. “By the way, Punk, bald is beautiful! Holla!”- Teddy.

R-Truth’s music hits as he makes his way to the ring.

R-Truth and Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler and Drew McInytre (c)

Hardy is very over. Dolph makes his way to the ring to a chorus of boos. Striker and Grisham put over Dolph’s sleeper hold. Drew, of course, gets absolutely nothing. I mean crickets and pins dropping nothing. Grisham tries to correct Striker and say that Piper was born in Scotland, and Striker buries him by saying Piper was born in Canada and to do your research.

The bell rings, and we have Truth and Ziggler to start. Truth gets some fan support and does a little dance to mess with Ziggler at the beginning. They lock up, and Truth grabs a side headlock. Truth with a headlock takedown, and maintains the side headlock on the mat. He goes for a quick cover and gets 2. Ziggler takes exception and goes after Truth, but Truth grabs another side headlock and again takes Ziggler down with another headlock takedown. Both men to their feet, and Truth takes Ziggler over to his corner and tags in Hardy. Ziggler reverses an Irish whip attempt, and Truth flies over Ziggler’s back and does the splits under a clothesline attempt, and Hardy flapjacks Ziggler on the second rope. Hardy goes right after Drew, but Drew is already off the apron. Commercial.

Back from commercial, we see Ziggler has a side headlock locked in on Hardy and grounding him to the mat. Hardy to his feet, fights out, and he lands some rights and lefts on Ziggler, knocking him down. Clothesline by Hardy, and then an Irish whip attempt sends Ziggler into the corner. Corner clothesline hits, and Hardy lays in some more shots. Ziggler is hanging onto the bottom rope, and Hardy grabs his legs and hits a sit-out powerbomb! Much like the Batista Bomb, only from a different angle. That gets a close 2. Side Effect try, Ziggler counters with an elbow, and throws Hardy into the ring post! Ziggler distracts the ref while McIntyre stomps Hardy’s head against the steel steps. Ouch. Ziggler lands a shot to the back of the head of Hardy, who is still on the ring steps. The ref backs Ziggler off and asks if Hardy wants to continue, and he says yes. Ziggler hits him with a right and rolls him back in the ring and covers for 2. Ziggler taunts him and lays some rights on him. Ziggler talks some more trash. The ref stops the bell and says that Hardy is out.

Winners: Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler via ref stoppage- It was all right until the ref stoppage. Give me a break, WWE. Really? ½*

Post-match, Drew goes after R-Truth and attacks him, then throws Hardy into the steel steps. Drew says “this is the last time I ever want to see you again.”

Backstage, we see Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett walking backstage. For some reason, the cage is lowering.

The WWE Smack of the Night is Jericho attacking Edge’s Achilles tendon after the triple threat match last Friday on Smackdown.

Chris Jericho’s music hits, and he and Wade Barrett make their way to the ring. He has a mic and says, “Let me make this perfectly clear so that even all you moronic hypocrites can understand what I’m going to say. This Sunday at Extreme Rules, I am unequivocally going to end the career of Edge. And what that means is no heroic comebacks, no more championship title reigns, and most importantly of all, no more spears. You saw me, oh go ahead, chant spear all you like, let me hear it, because it’s the last time you will. You saw how I laid the groundwork by injuring Edge’s ankle, the groundwork that will lead to my greatest triumph, the biggest moment of my career inside of this steel cage this Sunday. And Edge, you have no idea the lengths that I’ll go to use this structure as a weapon. Will I rake your face across this fence? Or maybe I’ll bounce your head off this steel bar right there? And I know that you’re too injured to climb to the top, but I can. Maybe I’ll walk straight to the edge, and jump off right on top of your ankle, crushing it forever, tearing the Achilles tendon for good and send you home where you belong. And next Monday night, when the entire roster is waiting to see which show they’ll be drafted to, Edge, you’ll be watching from a bed, after I draft you back to the hospital where you spent so much time over the last few years. Oh yeah. And the greatest part about this entire situation is with Edge gone from the WWE forever, Wade Barrett, that all of these parasitic sycophants who call themselves Edgeheads will no longer be chanting spear, spear, spear, spear, spear. They’ll be chanting Goodbye Edge! Goodbye Edge! ” Edge’s music hits, and he has a mic and says “You know, Chris, you did bring up a good point. You did injure my ankle last week. And a lot of people have been asking me how I am going to compete this Sunday at Extreme Rules, although more people are wondering how is it that you lost to rookie Heath Slater this Tuesday on NXT. But seriously, I want to get serious here Chris, because I’ve had a lot of things floating through my head this week. I am pretty banged up. But nothing, nothing is going to stop me from getting inside that steel cage this Sunday at Extreme Rules. As a matter of fact Chris, there’s nothing that’s gonna stop me from getting in that steel cage right now. Because Chris, you keep saying how you’re going to reinjure me. But I know how to deal Chris. I’ve been injured before. I know how to deal with an injury. I know what it takes to scrape and claw from the bottom of my guts to get back from an injury. I’ve broken my neck for this business. Have you ever done that Chris? Do you know what it takes to come back from a broken neck or a torn Achilles tendon? No you don’t Chris, no you don’t. Look into my eyes, Chris. Do I look like a man who has anything to lose? Do I? But Chris, maybe this Sunday at Extreme Rules, we find out if you have what it takes to scrape down into those guts, to get back from an injury, because Chris, I don’t think you do. And Chris, I plan on finding out this Sunday at Extreme Rules and nothing, nothing is going to stop me from spearing you through this cage. And I’ll do you one better. There is nothing, nothing that is going to stop me from spearing you right now.” Edge hits Jericho with the mic and goes after Barrett with some rights. Jericho goes after the ankle. They double-team him and Jericho goes to lock him in the Walls, but Edge hits some rights and powers out of it. Edge O’Matic to Barrett! Edge goes for the spear, but Jericho gets out of the cage. He locks it, and Barrett crawls to the door and pleads with Jericho to let him out. Jericho backs off, and Edge starts mashing Barrett’s face into the steel. Edge with some rights, and then javelins Barrett into the steel! Edge sets for the spear, and nails it! The look on Edge’s face as he stares at Jericho is absolutely priceless. – This was a good promo by Jericho, and when Edge came out, it only got better. The build for their match was not so good before this, but now I am eagerly awaiting their match this Sunday. It should be good.

Striker and Grisham hype the tag match between the SES and Kane and Rey Mysterio. Striker also asks us to take a look at MacGruber.

Apparently there’s a live Smackdown WWE tour in Australia.

The WWE Rewind shows JTG winning his match last week, Shad attacking him, and then JTG fighting him off.

Shad joins Striker and Grisham on commentary. Oh joy. He says he will dominate JTG in the strap match at Extreme Rules.

JTG vs. Mike Knox

The bell rings, and JTG ducks under a Knox clothesline. JTG with some rights, Knox misses a clothesline, and JTG lands some more. Knox shoves JTG into the ropes and hits a HUGE running crossbody. That gets 1. Knox boots him and then hits the Big Splash for 2. Knox dominates JTG with some kicks and blows. Knox whips JTG into the corner and charges, but JTG blocks with his boots. JTG hits a lariat off the second rope. Looks like they botched something there. Dropkick by JTG. JTG charges Knox in the corner and hits the leaping X-Factor. Knox rolls out of the ring, and JTG follows with a plancha. JTG and Shad stare down. Knox boots him in the gut as he gets back in the ring. Knox throws JTG off the ropes, and JTG hits his modified neckbreaker for the win!

Winner: JTG via pinfall on modified spinning neckbreaker- This was ok. It was more to set up their match, which I hope is good. This could be a breakout match for either guy. Shad was decent on commentary.*

Post-match, Shad whips JTG with one of the straps and then big boots him. He takes off his jacket and whips him some more with the straps. He says at Extreme Rules, it’s my time.

Michelle McCool (c) and Layla vs. Beth Phoenix and Mickie James

Apparently the match at Extreme Rules between Beth Phoenix and Michelle McCool is now an Extreme Makeover match. I could cry right now, and not for good reasons. Beth and Mickie are over as they come out.
The bell rings, and we have Beth Phoenix and Layla to start. This does not bode well for Layla. Layla grabs a go-behind and a side headlock. Beth picks her up with one arm and swings her around, but Layla holds on. That was nice. Beth picks Layla up and just tosses her. Layla lands on her feet and goes after Beth’s leg with some kicks. Layla comes off the ropes, and Michelle blind tags herself in, and Layla gets caught in the Big Swing! NICE. Michelle hops over as Beth releases Layla. Beth hits a big back elbow to Michelle. Beth presses Layla over her head, but Michelle kicks the leg. Michelle works the leg with some elbow drops and leg moves for 2. Michelle works over the leg some more, and then uses the ropes to do it as well. Layla tags in and gets some corner offense, and then works over the leg, then distracts the ref as Michelle works over Beth some more. Beth kicks off Layla, and tosses her, and makes the tag to Mickie! She slides under Layla to get in the ring and hits a clothesline! And another! Followed by a back elbow! Mickie hits McCool, and Layla takes advantage with a kick to the gut. Irish whip reversed by Mickie, and she takes Layla down with the Regal Cutter! Nice name drop Striker. Mickie goes up top, and hits the Lou Thesz press off the top rope! 1…2…McCool breaks up the count. Beth with a shot to McCool from behind and takes her out of the ring. Layla goes for a neckbreaker, and gets the 3!

Winner: Layla and Michelle McCool via pinfall off neckbreaker- Wow, what a match for Mickie to go out on. NOT. This was all right, but not what she deserved to go out on as a 4- time Women’s Champion. *1/4

Post match, Beth goes after Layla, but Michelle chop-blocks her. They double-team her after Layla tosses Mickie out of the ring. Layla grabs an ironing board from under the ring, and sets it up in the corner. They double-whip Beth into the board! That sounded like it hurt. McCool lays out Beth with a HUGE boot to the face. That did not look good. They then proceed to lipstick her all over.

Backstage, Kane is talking with Rey Mysterio. They’re getting ready for their match.

WWE is putting on an official live tour of Smackdown to Australia and New Zealand.

CM Punk’s music hits, and he has a mic in his hand. Punk says, “Rey Mysterio, after tonight, I will be done talking. Come Sunday, at Extreme Rules, I will let my actions speak, just like last Monday night on RAW, you let your actions speak to the whole world and tell them that you are nothing but a coward, when you grabbed a handful of my hair and you chopped it off. Well, Rey, I hope you find solace in that single lock of hair, because that is all you’re going to get. When Sunday night is in the books, I will be victorious and my hair will remain on the top of my head and it will remain as pure as the driven snow. And my focus and my purpose and my vision will be complete. And that is exactly why this barber’s chair has been brought to ringside. Because somebody here tonight is going to be saved. Somebody here tonight is going to take the pledge. Somebody here tonight will accept me as their savior, they will join my straight edge society. Somebody here tonight is going to get their head shaved. Rey’s music hits as he makes his way to the ring.

CM Punk and Luke Gallows vs. Rey Mysterio and Kane

The bell rings, and we have Rey and Gallows to start. Gallows wants to lock up, and Rey with a leg kick. Gallows tries to corner Rey, but Rey kicks him and gets away. Punk distracts Rey, and that is long enough for Gallows to grab him and club him in the back with a forearm. Gallows with a huge scoop slam (not powerslam Cole) and an elbow as well. He drops another one, and then tags in Punk. Punk stomps Rey again and again. He hits a right, then whips Rey into the corner. Striker and Grisham debate what Punk would look like bald. I’d rather not find out. Knees to the gut of Mysterio by Punk, followed by a right. Rey counters a back suplex and makes the tag to Kane! Punk just shit himself. Commercial.

Back from commercial, Gallows whips Kane off the ropes, and Kane shoulderblocks him for 1. Kane grabs a side headlock. Gallows fights out, and lands a big clothesline. He tags in Punk. Punk tries to springboard in with the lariat, but he eats an uppercut from Kane! Kane tags in Rey, who low dropkicks Punk in the head. Rights by Rey, and he backs Punk into the corner. Corner offense by Rey, Irish whip to the turnbuckle reversed by Punk, Rey floats over and charges, but gets launched into the turnbuckle! WELCOME TO CHICAGO! That gets 2. Punk with kicks to Rey’s back, then locks in a bow-and-arrow submission hold. Rey fights out and goes off the ropes and runs into a back elbow for 2. Punk drags Rey to his corner and tags in Gallows. Gallows lands some huge blows to the gut of Rey. The ref backs Gallows off, which lets Punk get another shot in on Rey. Gallows chokes Rey with his boot. Corner offense by Gallows, ref backs him off, which lets Punk get a choke on Rey. Huge uppercut by Gallows for 2. Mounted rights by Gallows. Gallows uses Rey’s arms to choke himself in a submission hold. I think it’s the European stranglehold. Could be wrong. Rey kicks his way out, off the ropes he goes and Gallows goes for a tilt-a-whirl powerslam, but Rey counters to the tornado DDT! That was nice. Spiked him right on the head. Kane is begging for the tag. Gallows tags Punk, and Rey makes the hot tag to Kane! Big right and clothesline by Kane! Irish whip by Kane into the buckle, corner clothesline hits! Sidewalk slam! Kane heads up top, sets for it, and hits the flying clothesline! 1…2…Gallows makes the save! Rey low-bridges Gallows! Punk with a kick, off the ropes and eats a big boot from Kane! He tags in Rey, who comes off his shoulders with a HUGE splash! 1…2…2.887! I thought that was it. Rey can’t believe it. Rey dropkicks Punk into the 619 position! Serena on the apron distracts the ref, Kane goes over, Gallows grabs Rey and trips him! He pulls him out and tags him with a right. Rey ducks a clothesline, and Kane uppercuts Gallows over the rail! Kane goes over the rail after him. Punk with a kick to Rey, and rights to the head. Irish whip by Punk, Rey hangs on to the ropes, boots Punk in the face, springboard crossbody attempt, caught by Punk! GTS! Mysterio rolls over and goes for a sunset flip! Punk grabs the legs and holds him down! 1…2…3!

Winners: CM Punk and Luke Gallows via pinfall on rollup reversal- It took a while to get started, but it got going and had some nice stuff at the end. Everybody worked hard, and it was pretty decent tag match. **1/2

Post-match, Punk beats down Mysterio with rights and kicks. He kicks Mysterio in the gut, but Rey counters with a dropkick to the knee! 619 try, but Punk ducks, and Mysterio baseball slides him into the barber’s chair! Rey kicks him to keep him in the chair, and grabs some clippers! Serena makes the save and protects Punk. Mysterio stands tall, telling Punk his hair is coming off. That’s how the show ends.

FINAL THOUGHTS: The opening promo was solid. Swagger is slowly getting better on the mic. We had one bad match. We had two meh matches, but at least they built towards Extreme Rules. The opening match was great, the Edge-Jericho promo was GOLD, and the main event, while a little slow, was perfectly acceptable. Decent show overall, with a good build for Extreme Rules. Thumbs up.