wrestling / TV Reports

411’s Lucha Libre USA: Masked Warriors Report 07.30.10

July 31, 2010 | Posted by Randy Harrison

It’s week three of Lucha Libre USA: Masked Warriors and this week’s show is stacked with a trios match featuring Super Nova, Mascara Purpura and Octagoncito taking on Pequino Halloween, Sydistiko and Lizmark Jr., as well as another first-round match-up in the Lucha Libre USA Heavyweight Championship tournament as Charly Malice takes on Rellik. We’ve also got a special announcement from Rebecca Reyes, but before we get to that we get….

RJ Brewer opens the show on a cell phone with his mom, who we’re supposed to believe is Arizona governor Jan Brewer. RJ is talking about how he was just speaking the truth ( I assume in his anti-lucha rants) before he calls Springfield, MA a dump and says that he can’t wait to come back to Phoenix. He says that he needs one more week and that she has to pull some strings with the commission while mentioning a four-sided ring. He tells her he loves her and hangs up to head into the building.

Inside the building, the disembodied voices of Nigel Sherrod and Lola Gonzalez welcome us into the arena and Sherrod is in the ring (which is four-sided this week), introducing RJ Brewer, who gets a pretty decent heel reaction. Lola Gonzalez talks about how Brewer’s mother used her influence to force LLUSA into using the four-sided ring, which is a nice way for them to camoflauge the fact that they probably couldn’t get a six-sided ring out East for this taping for one reason or another. I’ll tell you one thing, this is a MUCH different crowd than there was in Los Angeles for the first two shows as this is a pretty smarky group of fans that are all over Brewer before he even says a word.

Brewer says that he’s from Phoenix and for the past several weeks he’s been forced to wrestle under international rules and that tonight it ends. He says that he’s standing in a four-sided ring, which means he’s standing in an American ring, which means he’s standing in the right ring. He says that his mom got the LLUSA to change the ring to a four-sided ring and she got a temporary ban on the six-sided ring. Brewer promises to make the ban permanent after tonight before sending a message to all of the luchas in the back (even asking if there’s a translator in a great dick heel move). The message is that it’s only a matter of time before the company is just called USA. No more masks, no more back flips, just pure American wrestling. Brewer calls out Magno and says that it’s only a matter of time before he gets him in the ring again and makes him look like a fool, but that is for another night because right now Magno needs to get his ass on a plane to Arizona and do what he does best, cutting grass. BIG heel reaction for that one and HERE COMES MAGNO (complete with white alternate outfit like he was in WCW vs nWo)!! Magno works over Brewer and they trade shots before the locker room empties out with rudos and technicos all over the place!! Everyone is brawling with everyone and even the minis are getting involved!! Lizmark Jr., Sydistiko and Rellik are out last for the rudos and they start to clean house a little as Brewer slinks out of the ring and HERE COMES MARCO CORLEONE!! AIR CORLEONE OFF THE STAGE ONTO A PILE OF RUDOS ON THE FLOOR!! Chi Chi is on the stage watching the brawl along with Tigressa Caliente and we go back to last week with Tigressa beating the crap out of Mini Park.

Before we know it, the ring is cleared and Chi Chi is in the ring with Tigressa while Mini Park makes his way to the ring with Rebecca Reyes. Reyes says she has a note to read to Chi Chi and Tigressa from Mini Park and it says that the LLUSA commission has been informed of last week’s attack and they have sanctioned a match featuring Tigressa Caliente and Chi Chi as a team later tonight against Mini Park and a partner of his choosing. If Tigressa and Chi Chi choose not to compete, there will be serious action taken against both of them. Tigressa tears up the letter and tries to take another chunk out of Mini Park, but he’s able to slip out through the ropes and does a little gloating on the stage, dancing his way into a commercial break.

Back from the break and it’s time for the first match of the night!

Combate Uno: Trios Match
Masacara Purpura, Octagoncito and Super Nova vs. Pequeno Halloween, Lizmark Jr. and Sydistiko

Octagoncito’s entrance music is “All The Small Things” by Blink 182….BWAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I have to say that I really enjoy seeing the luchas getting licensed music from big name acts as it makes the entrances a little more interesting than just generic crap. For those of you scoring at home, Octagoncito and Halloween are the captains for this one. Octagoncito and Sydistiko start things out and Sydistiko gets to his knees before Octagoncito waffles him one with a big slap to the mush. Nigel and Lola mention that the new group of Rellik, Lizmark and Sydistiko is called Treachery, which is a pretty badass name for a heel stable, if I do say so myself. Sydistiko charges, but Octagoncito ducks and hits the ropes for a spinning headscissors before avoiding more contact and scrambling out of the ring to change off with Purpura, who hops the top rope and flies into the ring. Lock-up and Sydistiko gets a waistlock takedown before stomping on Purpura and pulling him up by the mask. In the corner Sydistiko stomps away before pulling on the mask and slapping Purpura in the chops. Slap to the chest from Sydistiko and Purpura gives him one right back before suggesting that Sydistiko has no balls. That just fires him up and he kicks Purpura in the gut and whips him into the ropes, but Purpura flips off the top rope and catches a charging Sydistiko, setting him up on the top rope and chopping away before running the ropes for a somersault into a jumping enziguri to the back of the head that sends Sydistiko to the floor!

Purpura fakes a dive to the floor and we get a double change with the team captains in and Halloween trips down Octagoncito before hitting a seated dropkick to the face before shipping Octagoncito into the corner. Octagoncito reverses the whip and puts Halloween into the corner but gets flipped to the apron on the charge in. Octagoncito heads up to the top and hits a beautiful top rope hurrancanrana, following it up with an armdrag and a spinning headscissors off the ropes that puts Halloween on the floor. Octagoncito follows him out and HITS A HURRANCANRANA OFF THE APRON TO THE FLOOR!! Halloween looks hurt on the floor and with that, Lizmark and Super Nova get ready for their first appearances in the match. Super Nova runs the ropes and Lizmark throws a half-hearted clothesline before taking a big hurrancanarana from Nova. Nova tries a spinning heel kick, but Lizmark catches him and just drops him down to the mat. Lizmark stomps away and goes up to the second rope, but takes too much time and Nova dropkicks him in the ass, putting him over the top to the floor. Nova looks like he wants to fly and springs over the top rope to the apron, but as he sets to jump for an Asai moonsault, Lizmark just yanks on his feet and sends him slamming face-first into the apron. HALLOWEEN WITH A TOPE SUICIDA TO NOVA ON THE FLOOR!! Sydistiko and Lizmark work over Octagoncito and Purpura in the ring with Sydistiko hitting a big slam on Octagoncito while Lizmark takes out Purpura with a low blow. Snake Eyes by Lizmark on Purpura and he hits a big kick to the inside of the leg before Halloween just bites at his hand.

The rudos are in full control and just working over the technicos with Lizmark standing on Nova’s throat in the corner before laying in the boots. Halloween lays Octaconcito across the middle rope and chops him across the back before dragging him into the corner. Halloween on the second rope and he goes for a front somersault back senton but Octagoncito rolls out of the way! Dropkick sends Halloween to the floor and Octagoncito is right out after him with a TOPE CON GIRO THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE FLOOR!! Purpura and Nova back in the ring and Purpura springs Nova into a dropkick that sends Sydistiko to the floor. Purpura hits the ropes…TOPE CON GIRO OVER THE TOP ROPE ON SYDISTIKO!! Nova ducks a clothesline from Lizmark and tries for a charge, but Lizmark scoops him up for the side slam finish. Nova slips over the shoulder, but takes a nasty savate kick to the face that prompts Lizmark to do a little celebrating. Octagoncito to the top and he tries to surprise Lizmark with a splash, but Lizmark catches him in mid-air and throws him up onto his shoulder….SIT-OUT POWERSLAM ON THE LITTLE GUY AND HE’S JUST A BLUE AND BLACK GREASE STAIN ON THE MAT!! Three-count is academic at this point and the rudos pick up the win!

Winners: Pequeno Halloween, Lizmark Jr. and Sydistiko (pinfall, Lizmark’s sit-out powerslam on Octagoncito) **

Solid match to open the show. Nothing spectacular, but it got two of the biggest heels in the company out to the ring for some work and even got them a fairly strong win. This Treachery group could go far as they’ve got charisma and character from Sydistiko, technical ability from Lizmark and brute strength from Rellik. Now if only LLUSA could build up some technicos as strong as they’ve built up the heel side with Treachery and RJ Brewer.

Promo time after the commercial and we’ve got Tinieblas Jr. and Oriental sitting in front of a confessional camera saying that they’ll destroy their foes and they’ll make Marco and Lujo their slaves. They say that they’re the best luchadores in LLUSA and decide to form a team and enter the LLUSA Tag Team Championship tournament before walking off to end the promo. That leads to Tigressa Caliente busting into Octagoncito’s locker room to ask him if he’s going to be Mini Park’s mystery partner tonight. Octagoncito plays dumb and Tigressa asks if the cat’s got his tongue before she says that he better hope that he’s not in that ring because if he is she’s going to have a lot more than his tongue.

Combate Dos: Lucha Libre USA Heavyweight Championship Tournament First Round Match:
Charly Malice vs. Rellik

Lock-up and rellik shoves Malice into the corner before charging in and missing a forearm smash. Rellik tries a bunch of clotheslines, but Malice outsmarts him and keeps ducking them. Malice hits the ropes and tries a shoulderblock but neither man budges. He hits the ropes again and ducks under a big boot from Rellik before dropkicking Rellik on the knee. Malice charges and tries the casadora, but Rellik catches him and takes him over with a HUGE wheelbarrow suplex! Rellik crawls over and hammers away at Malice before mounting and biting at his face. Rellik puts Malice in the corner and hammers away with punches and stomps before he whips Malice across the ring. Charge from Rellik and he eats a boot to the face before sending Malice across the ring with a MASSIVE biel throw that sends Malice almost all the way across to the other corner. Rellik flings Malice through the ropes to the floor and follows him out to bite on Malice’s head in front of the broadcast table before sending him back into the ring. Rellik with a springboard legdrop over the top rope and he is in complete control in this one so far. Rellik with a cover and he gets a long, long two-count before picking Rellik back up and stomping him in the corner again.
Rellik whips Malice across to the corner and charges in but Malice gets his boots up before landing a big right hand. Another right hand and Malice heads up to the top rope for a clothesline!! Malice stomps away at Rellik in the corner and backs off for a second, but RELLIK HITS HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE RED MIST!!! Malice goes down, the referee calls for the bell and this one is through!!

Winner: Charly Malice (disqualification, Rellik mist) *1/4

Yeah, not so much here. Both guys were working the power game and it wasn’t working in this one, let alone with the disqualification finish. I could understand the finish if Malice had been dominating and Rellik had to pull one out of the fire by using the underhanded tactics, but Rellik was in control for almost the entire match. Nonsensical finish plus boring action equals a dull match.

After the match, Rellik throws the ref out to the floor and starts beating Malice up in the corner and HERE COMES SUPER NOVA!! Missile dropkick off the top ropes puts Rellik to the floor and sends him to the back before he can do any more damage to Malice.

After the break, Tigressa is still trying to figure out who is going to team up with Mini Park and she stumbles into….La Vida De Lujo and asks Lujo Esquire if he’s going to be the mystery partner. He says that he doesn’t know what she’s talking about and he’s in the middle of doing some business. He says that it’s not him as after the business is done he’s got other engagements. The whole thing has a very telenovela feel to it and it’s actually pretty funny, but Tigressa needs some acting lessons as she’s been pretty terrible so far in the backstage skits. Nigel informs us that next week El Oriental and Tinieblas Jr. will in fact team up next week against Marco Corleone and Lujo Esquire in a big match-up. They hype the mixed tag main event again and promise that the mystery partner will be revealed….after the break.

Combate Tres: Mixed Tag Match
Chi Chi and Tigressa Caliente vs. Mini Park and ???

Great bit as Tigressa and Chi Chi are introduced at a total combined weight of “none of your damn business”. Almost as awesome as Buddy Rose’s introductions from back in the day. Tigressa and Chi Chi attack before Park’s tag partner can even be introduced and Park bails out to hide under the ring. Chi Chi grabs a foot and yanks and Mini Park is behind him, tapping him on the back. Whoever is under the ring shoves Chi Chi away and IT’S AMAZING KONG!! AMAZING KONG IS IN LUCHA LIBRE USA!!! She knocks Chi Chi on his ass and heads into the ring with Park to get this match underway for reals!! Chi Chi and Tigressa are on the floor and beside themselves as they stall with Kong starting out against…..poor Chi Chi. Poor, poor Chi Chi. He shows his ass at Kong before rolling out to the floor and telling Tigressa to get in there. Kong waves Tigressa on and they hit a lock-up with Kong getting pushed back into the corner after Tigressa yanked on her hair. Tigressa with a choke in the corner and some smack talk before she paintbrushes Kong. Even Kong gets a look on her face like she knows how bad Tigressa just stepped in it and SHE SHOVES TIGRESSA ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE RING!! Kong heads into the corner to follow up, but Chi Chi rakes the eyes and makes the switch.

Chi Chi jumps onto Kong’s back and locks in a sleeperhold, but Kong just mashes him back into her corner and tags in Park. Double-Irish whip and Park drops down as Chi Chi runs straight into a KONGALANCHE!! Park with right hands to Chi Chi and BITCH DONE LOST HER WIG!!! Chi Chi’s pink coif goes flying and he falls on his ass again, begging off with Park hitting more punches and leg kicks. Park hits the ropes and ducks under a clothesline before hitting a big hurrancanrana that sends Chi Chi into the corner. Chi Chi draws Park in and lowbridges him into the middle turnbuckle before Tigressa charges across and knocks Kong off the apron, adding a stomp to Park for good measure. The rudos continue to stomp away at Park in the corner and Chi Chi hits a backbreaker before whipping Park into the corner before attemptign a pin for a two-count. Snap mare takeover from Chi Chi and he works on the back of Park before Park fights to his feet with an elbow to the gut. Chi Chi cuts it off with a picture-perfect Northern Lights suplex with a bridge into a pin attempt….1…2….NO!! Park just barely rolls the shoulder!!

Caliente and Chi Chi are two-on-one in the ring and Chi Chi puts Park into the ropes, trying for a slam of some sort, but he just launches Park into a dropkick on Caliente! Chi Chi charges and Park drops down for a drop toehold that rams Chi Chi into the bottom turnbuckle….HOT TAG TO KONG!! CLOTHESLINE FOR TIGRESSA!! CLOTHESLINE FOR CHI CHI!! SLAM ON TIGRESSA!! KONGALANCHE ON CHI CHI!! Kong blocks a spinning kick from Tigressa and drops her with a spinning back fist!! Uranage by Kong on Chi Chi gets a two-count before Tigressa breaks up the pin and HERE COMES PARK WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK OFF THE TOP TO TIGRESSA!! Park with a plancha over the top rope to the floor on Tigressa!!! Inside the ring, Kong has a hold of Chi Chi and is setting him up…AMAZING BOMB!!! 1….2….3!!!!

Winners: Mini Park and Amazing Kong (pinfall, Amazing Bomb on Chi Chi)**

Well, I came into this one thinking I was going to hate it, especially with how poor the show had been up to the main event and while I don’t think it was the greatest match in the world, I’ll be damned if I didn’t get sucked in with Kong’s surprise debut and Park finally getting the upper hand on Chi Chi and Tigressa. Kong looked great here and I hope that they’re able to bring in some quality females for her to work with as that could be a great addition to the program. Fun match that didn’t mean much, but really didn’t have to.

I miss the end of the show as my DVR cut off, but I assume that it was highlights of the main event as well as hype for next week’s show with the tag bout between Tinieblas Jr. and El Oriental and Marco Corlenone and Lujo Esquire getting some hype.

Final Thoughts: Color me disappointed for the first time with Lucha Libre USA. After the first two weeks that saw either strong wrestling or strong angle advancement, we got neither this week with a little promo from RJ Brewer to explain away the four-sided ring and the debut of Amazing Kong with very little else. The wrestling was below par this week as even the high-fliers didn’t do much flying and while the show was still entertaining, it was a bit of a letdown for me after such a strong first two shows. Hopefully they’re able to pick up the pieces and we get a better show next week.

NULL

article topics

Randy Harrison

Comments are closed.