411’s TNA Impact Report 09.24.10

Welcome one and all to 411’s TNA Impact Report. Ahhh, it’s good to be back behind the Impact wheel after a long hiatus. Apologies in advance for some issues I had with both my cable and internet, but we managed to get the full show covered for you. Are we ready to rock?

We open with a recap of the Kurt Angle-Jeff Hardy situation. This week’s wacky title: “They say…only the strong will survive.”

Rob Terry vs. Abyss

Rob Terry lives? We see Rob van Dam backstage arguing with security as Terry comes down the ramp. Abyss and Janice are on their way out now and seriously, the man needs to drop those layers. Hobos are not scary.

Abyss attacks Terry before the bell and beats him down in the corner. Abyss whips Terry to the corner but Terry comes out with a clothesline. Terry drops his head and gets kicked but comes back with a spin kick. He charges into a boot from Abyss and gets levelled by a clothesline. Shots in the corner by the Monster and a corner splash to follow up. Goozle! Terry breaks the grip and hits a front powerslam, followed by a regular powerslam for 2. Terry with the goozle, Abyss goes to the eyes and hits a side slam for 2. Goozle from Abyss…chokeslam! 1…2…no. Abyss clotheslines Terry over the top and we see RVD and Jeff Hardy approaching the ring while Abyss watches Terry lying on the floor. Abyss goes to the floor himself and detaches part of the railing, then nails Terry in the face with it. Yeah that’ll end the match.

Winner: Rob Terry via DQ (guardrail to the face)
Rating: *½ Not horrible

RVD is coming through the fans, still heavily bandaged. Abyss gets Janice as D’Lo, Al Snow and Simon Diamond come out with chairs to chase Abyss to the back.

Van Dam levels one of the security goons and gets into the ring very carefully. He thanks everyone for their love and concern. He says one of the reasons he’s here is to show everyone that he’s going nowhere. He calls out Bischoff but instead we get a commercial.

Back from break and RVD tells Bischoff that he was upset about the tournament that happened for his title while he was out injured. He wishes the three competitors luck and says he wants first shot at the winner. He then says that his doctor has cleared him to return at Bound for Glory. Oh wow there’s a shock. He wants Abyss? WOW THIS IS UN!BE!LIEVABLE! Who saw that coming? Bischoff grants it as Tenay calls the match and the return date a surprise.

Bischoff is still in the ring and well…here comes the Pope. Pope wants to know what’s going on around here. He says Bischoff is full of crap and he can smell it a mile away. Pope lists off all his accomplishments and wants to know how RVD gets a title shot before him. He also says that Hardy and Angle didn’t win their matches but they get a shot, so why not him? Pope calls Bischoff a con man and Bischoff wants to discuss it in the back. Seems that Pope agrees and they’re off.

We get a clip from earlier today in the locker room of The Beautiful People. Lacey von Erich is sitting behind them sulking while they chat. Lacey swears up a storm over Tara and Madison treating her badly. Aww, come to Lansdell baby. I will make it ALL better.

Jeremy Buck vs. Chris Sabin

Oh God help me. Max is out with Jeremy. Shelley is still out injured so Sabin’s out solo. He’s also got a bandage on his shoulder.

Sabin grabs a headlock, he gets pushed to the ropes and Max trips him. The ref ejects Max and Sabin gets a schoolboy on Jeremy for 2. HIGH arm drag and a running elbow get 2. Arm bar by Sabin, Jeremy get to the ropes and then boots Sabin in the but. Springboard X-Factor gets 2. That looks so freaking sweet. Snap mare by Jeremy and a dragon sleeper is locked in now. Sabin escapes but eats a neckbreaker for 2. Jeremy charges into a boot, then does it again. Sabin tries to suplex him to the floor, Jeremy lands on the apron with Sabin and drops him on the apron with a neckbreaker. That gets 2. Jeremy locks in a full nelson, Sabin backs him to the corner and hits a back elbow to escape. He tries a tornado DDT that gets countered…enziguiri! Schoolboy! 3!

Winner: Chris Sabin via pinfall (schoolboy)

Max charges the ring and attacks Sabin after the bell. They beat and stomp him and then drop him on his skull with the elevated DDT.

Csonka taking over, Lansdell has issues with the show. Gonna play catch up here.

– We see clips of the Pope backstage, who talks about winning the “greatest prize in all of wrestling, the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.” They then show Jeff Jarrett being told about this, and he thought it was shit and that Pope needed to work hard to get the reactions of a Hardy or an Angle, to earn the respect of the fans.
Back from break, Jeff Jarrett is complaining about Sting.

Taylor Wilde and Hamada vs. Velvet Sky and Lacey Von Erich

DAT AZZ…squared! Oh I’ve missed saying that. I love you cameraman. The champs are all bubbly and so forth.

Wilde and Lacey start, Lacey gets an arm drag but is taken down with a toehold and a headlock takedown. Lacey with a hiptoss to Wilde, Hamada tags in and eats a pair of arm drags. Tag to Sky, Hamada escapes an arm bar and kicks her in the face. Scoop slam and Hamada goes up top…moonsault misses! Basement dropkick by Sky, Wilde tags in and gets a pair of quick rollups for 2. Backslide by Sky gets 2. Elbow drop and a tag to Lacey who has a whip reversed. Wilde kicks her leg and hits a basement dropkick. Hamada tags in and they get a double suplex for 2. Enziguiri by Hamada and a fisherman’s suplex get 2 more. Wilde tags in with a forearm smash for 2. Lacey reverses a whip and beats down Wilde in the corner and gets a rana for a 2 count. Sky bulldogs Hamada but gets thrown to the floor, Hamada takes her off the apron and they go to the floor. Madison Rayne nails Lacey from behind with a helmet! Wilde connects with an enziguiri and that does it!

Winners: Taylor Wilde and Hamada via pinfall (Wilde on Lacey, enziguiri)
Rating: *¼

Taylor Wilde and Hamada are a fun little team and are working well together, unfortunately they have to work with Lacey. Lacey works hard, and I won’t say that she isn’t trying, but the girl just isn’t improving in my opinion. Madison Rayne came to the ring and laid out LVE with Tara’s giant helmet. After the match, Sky and Love checked on LVE, and Love was not pleased about Madison’s involvement.

-Tommy Dreamer arrived, flanked by Mick Foley, Rhino, Sabu, Stevie Richards, and Raven.

-We got another video package on Jesse Neal. I am a big fan of the personality profiles, especially for lesser known guys like Neal.

-Dixie Carter joined Tenay and Taz and discussed change in TNA. They announced the live Impact on October 7th, and that the main event of the show will feature a $100,000 battle royal featuring every wrestler on BFG. She hopes the fans will be excited about the changes starting on the 7th.

Samoa Joe defeated The Pope via submission

These two had a solid TV match, with Joe controlling early, and then Pope getting the heat. Pope got to control well, and if he won the match, he would be placed into the man event at Bound For Glory. Jarrett came to the ring to root on Joe when Pope had the heat. The real story of the match was that Nash and Sting came to the ring after Jarrett, and attacked him. Pope looked to have the match won, but was distracted, allowing Joe to lock in the choke for the victory. They brawled after the match.

-Christy Hemme caught up with EV2.0, and they started that they talked with Dixie Carter, and at BFG, it would be EV2.0 vs. Evolution in LETHAL LOCKDOWN.

-Mr. Anderson came out to the ring to talk to his assholes. He would call out Kurt Angle, and said that while they were never friends, that he knew Angle was one of the best. Angle discussed his run to the title, and that if he loses, he is done for good. Anderson promised to win at BFG, and then raised Angle’s hand, “for the last time.” Good promo segment.

Lansdell returns! When I get hold of my damn ISP I may have to choke a bitch.

Nash and Sting are backstage with Pope. Nash wants to know if Pope has any information they can use, and Pope says he isn’t giving it up just like that. Nash wants to know if Pope was talking to any “broads” around here, and specifically mentions Tessmacher. Pope says “Tessmacher…you know?” and Nash says that’s what they were fighting for the whole time. Pope says he’s in. Wow…was that supposed to make sense to anyone?

Video package for Lethal Lockdown.

Ladder Match: AJ Styles vs. Sabu

Apparently the world has been waiting for this for years. Right on. Sabu is out first and he STILL looks wrong bald. Flair and Morgan are with AJ. The winne of this match wins the man advantage for his team at the PPV.

AJ gains early control but Sabu fights back with some rights and some stomps. He goes for a ladder but AJ catches him halfway out and kicks the middle rope into Sabu’s nuts. Mounted punches by AJ and a chop by AJ, whip to Sabu who ducks the clothesline and gets a headscissors. Sabu charges into a boot and goes down to a chop. Whip reversed and a clothesline by Sabu, he goes to the floor and retrieves the ladder but AJ takes him out with rights on the floor. Sabu drops AJ’s neck over the railing and slides the ladder into the ring, AJ pulls it out again, Sabu attacks AJ while AJ is on the apron, AJ grabs Sabu’s neck and snaps it over the top rope. AJ slides the ladder in but Sabu dropkicks it back into AJ. Sabu brings a chair into the ring and sets it up mid-ring. He hits some kicks on AJ then sets up the ladder. He starts to climb but gets intercepted. Sabu throws the ladder into AJ and connects, he tries it again but AJ ducks and the ladder goes flying to the outside. AJ goes after it and Sabu tries the baseball slide again, AJ lifts the ladder and hits Sabu as he slides through. We head to break as Mick Foley heads to ringside.

We come back just in time to see Sabu throwing a chair into AJ. AIR SABU connects in the corner! Sabu drops AJ’s head into the chair, then sets up that chair and hits a crossbody off the chair into AJ, sending both men to the floor. Flair and Morgan attack Foley on the floor, Dreamer tries to come to his rescue but Kazarian attacks Dreamer. All of Fourtune and EV2 are brawling at ringside as Sabu pushes the ladder over with AJ atops it. Sabu LEAPS off the chair, off the top and into Fourtune on the floor! Back inside he sets up the ladder and AJ is nowhere to be seen but Roode is in to stop him. GORE to Roode! SUPERKICK by Storm to Rhino! Sabu tosses Storm and climbs the ladder, AJ climbs opposite him but gets knocked down! Sabu has a hand on the key that will give his team the advantage…STORM pulls him down! BEER BOTTLE! Storm literally pushes AJ up the ladder, he retrieves the key and that’s all she wrote.

Winner AJ Styles via retrieval
Rating: ***¼ Sabu brought his working boots but the finish hurt it somewhat

Jeff Hardy and RVD are backstage talking about the title match. They hug it out and RVD leaves…then Hardy gets attacked by Abyss. We don’t actually see any of the attack, however.

Video package on how crazy Abyss is, followed by the ever-popular “Moments ago” recap of the attack on Hardy. Back to live action and Abyss has an unconscious Jeff Hardy over his shoulder as he comes down to ringside. He dumps Hardy in the ring and has a mic. He calls out RVD and says he’s sure RVD wants to know why he has Jeff with him. He says RVD was never supposed to come back. He says that the fact that RVD came back proves that he is as ignorant and pathetic as Abyss thought. They gave him orders to eliminate RVD, but he made the mistake of leaving RVD breathing. He will correct that mistake on ten…ten…TEN. THEY will finally reveal themselves and begin the takeover of TNA. On ten…ten…TEN he and his girl Janice are going to finish the job once and for all. They’re not going to hurt or cripple him, they are going to slaughter him. Friendly guy. Oh, but Janice doesn’t want to wait until ten…ten…TEN. Janice wants a piece tonight. He calls RVD out and…yup, he’s going to answer the call, bandages and all. Abyss starts ripping at Jeff’s shirt as RVD hobbles down the ramp. He nails Abyss with a couple of stiff chairshots but then eats a big boot and gets beaten down. Corner splash by Abyss and now he has Janice. He stalks RVD as Impact goes off the air…oh, and we’re running into ReAction just in time to see Ink Inc come down to make the save with, of all things, a missile dropkick by Jesse Neal. Abyss leaves the ring and threatens TNA again as we go off the air.