411’s IMPACT Wrestling Report 8.25.11

411’s IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT 08.25.11

Championship Roll Call:
TNA WORLD TITLE: Kurt Angle
TNA TV TITLE: Eric Young
TNA X-DIVISION TITLE: Brian Kendrick
TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE: Winter
TNA TAG TEAM TITLES: Mexican America
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM TITLES: Tara & Miss Tessmacher

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-We get a recap of last week’s events.

OPENING TALKY SEGMENT
TNA World Champion Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring to kick off the show. He says since Crimson called him out last week, that this week, he would call out Crimson. Crimson makes his way out, limping due to the damage that Angle did to him. Angle says Crimson asked for a match last week, which impressed Angle. Angle Says Crimson has balls, or he is a complete jackass. Two months ago he was Red’s little brother, but now, he is a someone thanks to Angle. Angle says he knows Crimson wants to be famous, and Angle will do that tonight. Angle will end the undefeated streak as well as Crimson’s career. It’s the price he pays for disrespect. Crimson says Angle disrespected him by attacking him from behind. That is why they are fighting. Angle alls Crimson a nobody and says Crimson has to EARN his respect. Crimson promises to do that tonight. Crimson says if Angle wants to take out the young guns, he can try to start with him tonight. Tonight, he will stand toe to toe with Angle and earn his respect.

Immortal comes out to the ring now, led by Bully Ray. Abyss, Gunner, Steiner Jeff and Karen are all there to join the party. Angle doesn’t exactly look happy about them crashing things. Ray asks Crimson if he is serious. Ray says this is Kurt FREAKIN Angle. An Olympic Gold Medallist, the world champion… Angle cuts him off as Ray was saying he is a part of Immortal. Angle wants to handle this himself, and says if anyone gets involved in his match tonight, they will have a problem. Angle tells Crimson it is time to become famous. Angle leaves the ring and that’s that.

-ODB, Jackie and Velvet discuss their tag team match tonight.

-A pair of black boots walk.

-We see Bischoff backstage talking with Flair, and he is not happy. He tries to tell him Sting is a different man now, and that they need to make the challenge go away. Hogan says he has been a wreck since last week. Flair says he is not Gunner and can take care of Sting. Hogan refuses to get into the ring with Sting, and Flair’s challenge could make it happen. Hogan says Sting is like a superhuman now and then says he will end it tonight. They will go to the ring, and make things right with Sting and end all of he craziness. Hogan then begs Flair to have his back and not say one word. Flair promises to be silent. Is that like a promise he made to creditors to repay loans?

Jackie Moore, ODB, and Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love, Rosita, and Sarita
Moore and Sarita to begin. Lock up, go behind and a roll up by Moore for 2. Knee to the gut by Sarita, tag to Rosita and she delivers forearms to Moore. Knee by Moore, tag to Sky and Rosita moves, Sky hits Moore and Rosita covers for 2. Tag to ODB, slam on Rosita countered and Sarita tags in. ODB takes her down, tag to Sky and a boot and chops by Sky. Off the ropes, boot by Sky and a dropkick misses, and Sarita catapults her into the corner. Rosita tags in, lays the boots to Sky and then tags Sarita back in. Slam to Sky, elbow drop follow sand then knee drops. Tag to Rosita, and Love is pissed that she has been left out. Sarita tags back in, Sky sloppily fights back and Love tags herself in. She talks smack with Rosita, that allows Sky to make what you could describe as a comeback. All six are in and we have a brawl here. Sky and Love back in the ring, Mexican America tries to distract the ref and Love gets the back stabber deal on Sky. ODB and Moore in, Love allows then to attack Sky, but they decline and they attack Love, double team suplex and then they put Sky on top and the ref counts 3.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Jackie Moore, ODB, and Velvet Sky @ 4:00 via pin
RATING: *

-Rosita and Sarita yell at Love for losing. Love shoves Rosita into Sarita and bails.

-More black boots walking.

Kid Kash vs. Jesse Sorensen
Sorensen needs to drop the “football” gimmick. He looks “too Indy.” Sorensen slides in and Kash starts to beat his ass right away. Sorensen tries to fight back, but Kash chokes him out in the ropes. Cross face shots follow, and then stands on his head. Kash talks shit and slaps Sorensen in the face. Side back breaker by Kash, dump suplex follows and a cover gets 2 for Kash. Kicks to the chest by Kash, moneymaker try, countered and a backdrop by Sorensen. Clotheslines follow, and then a dropkick for 2. Kicks by Kash, chops follow. Sorensen counters the leg sweep, and gets a neck breaker for 2. Sorensen goes up top, cross body connects for 2. Sorensen sets, shoots Kash to the ropes, reversal and a roll up by Sorensen, countered and Kash gets the tights and the cheap victory.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Kid Kash @ 3:00 via pin
RATING: *¾

-Hemme talks with Kash, who says the only Impact was the little boy getting his ass whipped. He tells the little prick to keep walking, and like his son, Kash will put him over his knee and whip his ass. Sorensen comes back to Kash to confront him, and Kash pie faces him. Security has to separate them.

-We get a recap of recent BFG Series matches.

-Matt Morgan joins commentary to offer absolutely nothing.

Bound for Glory Series Match: Rob Van Dam vs. D’Angelo Dinero
They circle, lock up and RVD gets the side headlock. Dinero to his feet, off the ropes and RVD counters and gets a roll up for 2. Dinero in control for a moment, but RVD with the slam. Rolling thunder eats knees, and lays the boots into RVD. Dinero gets a cover for 2. Off the ropes, RVD takes Dinero down and gets the bridging reverse STF, but Dinero gets the ropes. To the corner, monkey flip by RVD shoots Dinero across the ring. RVD works the abdominal stretch now. Dinero escapes, boot to RVD and sticks him with a DDT and covers for 2. Dinero to the 2nd rope now, fist drop connects. Dinero is limping, and RVD lays him out with a spin kick. He then applies the surfboard, Dinero fights, and give sup. To a surfboard? Yes, to a surfboard.

OFFICIAL RESULT: RVD @ 5:00 via submission
RATING: **

-After the match, RVD helps Dinero to his feet.

-We get replays of the match.

-After the replay, Samoa Joe attacks Dinero and then locks in the heel hook. Devon limps out to the ring with a knee brace on, and stops. His sons BEG him to save Dinero, and Devon tells them to sit down and shut up. He asks for a chair and chases Joe off.

-Backstage Robbie E meets with Rob Terry. Robbie says he is here to SAVE big Robbie, and says they will be partners. Robbie says Terry could be his personal bouncer, and Terry says to let him think about it.

-Immortal talks, Scott Steiner yells. Such a dysfunctional family. They pan to keep AJ in the ring and win the match.

-Sarita and Rosita confront Angelina Love in what appears to be a crack house. They attack her and Winter makes the save. She then chokes out Rosita and the rest of Mexican America break it up.

-Hogan and Flair walk.

-Black boots walk.

-Eric Bischoff meets with Traci Brooks’ boobs. He says he will make an announcement about Knockout Law next week in Huntsville. Bischoff makes a dick joke, because he’s so creative.

10PM TALKY SEGMENT
Hogan and Flair make their way to the ring. Hogan fixes his extensions and says the main problem they have is that they have a problem. He calls out Sting to face the music, brother. Sting makes his way out to the ring. Hogan says that Sting is way out thee over the edge. He then says that enough. Enough. This thing has gone way too far brother, and it has to end tonight. Hogan says that Sting is a complete wreck, no fries left in the happy meal if you will. Hogan says Sting is not in his right mind. He asks if Sting wants the little Stingers to look up to him like the Hulkamaniacs look up too him. This is a family show brother. Hogan then says MAYBE he is partially to blame. Maybe he and Eric made mistakes, but they are human. They have learned. From now on, they will run the company properly, and be the standard bearer in the industry for what a company should be. It is time to end the madness brother, what do you say?

Sting says under one condition. Hogan says ok as long as they get on the same page. Hogan says eh will do anything. Sting confirms this, and says milk and cookies for all. Colorful balloons, rainbows and even a unicorn. Puppy dogs all around. Flowers, he just loves flowers. Flowers all over the place. Of course, red and yellow. Hug? Sting wants to hug it out brother. They hug and Sting kisses Hogan. FLAIR IS PISSED and grabs the mic. He calls Sting a stupid son of a bitch. This is not a game, I AM RIC FLAIR GET IT? You want crazy? He elbows drops the ring, and says he was crazy when Sting was sucking his mommy’s tit. Flair then says he has the edge, because, when it comes time to kill, you respect me too much too hurt me. Flair knows Sting respects him too much to go for the kill, and that is when Flair will kick his ass. Flair calls him a jackass, and Sting mocks Flair and says FINALLY someone he can relate too around here, and he is glad that Flair is back. Sting says he will go through Flair to get to Hogan. He then says if you point that finger at me again, I will bite it off. Sting will start with Flair, and then, Bound for Glory, he and Hogan blow it up. Flair calls Sting an asshole, and Sting says TA-TA FOR NOW.

AJ STYLES TALKS TO DANIELS
AJ Styles makes his way out to the ring. AJ says he has an answer for Daniels, so come out and get it. Daniels makes his way to the ring. AJ says he is not mad, BUT, when he went to commentary and put their business out there, he gets it, but did he have to announce it to the world. So lets end this in public, right here and now. AJ asks why Daniels needs the rematch, because he does not understand. Daniels says that at Destination X it was about the X-Division. And it was a great night, but he lost. The next day, he looked at himself, and asked himself, does he still have what it takes to be in TNA. Daniels says when he could not compete at a top level, he would walk away. He had to ask himself, and he was scared, because he doesn’t know the answer to the question. He asked AJ about it, and AJ blew him off. He came back to TNA, joined Fortune, and went through a table all for AJ. All he asks about is the rematch, because he needs to know, it is time to walk away from the only thing he was ever good at. Daniels gets emotional and AJ stops him. No long passionate kiss, but AJ says to look at him, May have spoke too soon. AJ agrees to do it one more time, because they are friends. THEY HUG IT OUT! Daniels says he will see him at No Surrender, but AJ squashes that due to the BFG series, and says they will do it next week. AJ then says he is about to kick some Immortal ass.

Falls Count Anywhere: Bully Ray, Gunner, and Scott Steiner vs. AJ Styles and Beer Money
Fortune attacks before the bell and we have a big old brawl on the floor. As we have our brawl, Abyss watches on from the ramp. Gunner and AJ in the ring now, so I guess we are officially underway. AJ hits the dropkick combo and looks for a cover, but Gunner bails. Steiner plays lucha rules and slides in and suplexes AJ. Joking kids, I know there are no tag rules. Chops follow, AJ out and Roode into the ring and takes out Steiner. To the second rope, blockbuster connects and a cover gets 2 as Ray makes the save. Ray MISSES the corner charge, eats a boot from Storm. Cross body follows and Storm gets 2. Double team suplex…BEER…MONEY~! They spill to the floor, and AJ is in and gets a SWEET dive onto Ray on the floor. AJ buckles his knee and is now limping. They are brawling all around the building as we get the split screen now. Beer Money take Steiner and Gunner into the back of the building and the battle continues as Immortal gets the better of the battle/ AJ with the superman forearm in the ring and covers for 2. Rights by AJ follow. They trade shots, enziguri by AJ and Gunner is now back in the ring. AJ fights them off, but Steiner is back and the numbers game get to him, and Ray gets the full nelson bomb for the win.

That was a lot of fun.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Bully Ray, Gunner, and Scott Steiner @ 6:00 via pin
RATING: ***

-Mr. Anderson is here in a hummer. STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD! He hits the ring, levels Gunner. He then sends Steiner through a table. Anderson has Ray’s chain and now chases him up the ramp. Anderson beats down Gunner with the chain and busts him open. He tosses Gunner to the floor, and now shows the damage done to Steiner and Gunner. Gunner tapped an artery, nice.

-Mickie James is backstage and is pissed about losing the Knockouts Title. She says next week she will get revenge and win the title back.

-Eric Young confronts Scott Baio at the golf course. He retained the TV title in a grueling battle. Baio had his working boots on, but tonight just was not his night.

-Borash does the super special ring announcing.

Non-Title Match: Kurt Angle © vs. Crimson
Lock up to begin and Crimson shoves Angle down. Angle rolls away now, looking to avoid the power of Crimson. To the corner, Crimson slams him to the corner. Back elbows by Crimson, off the ropes and another back elbow by Crimson. Cravat and knees by Crimson, and a neck breaker follows and a cover gets 2. Angle to the floor, rights by Crimson. Crimson slams Angle to the apron, rolls him back in and Crimson whips him to a corner. Reversal and Angle clips the leg, and Crimson is down. We head to a commercial @ 2:00.

Back from commercial @ 6:00 as Angle is in control with a suplex and cover for 2. Angle works a seated abdominal stretch, grounding the larger man. Crimson works to escape, to his feet and off the ropes and Angle holds on to the headlock. Off the ropes again, but again, Angle holds on. Crimson looking to escape again, does and then gets a clothesline to level Angle and BOTH men are down. The ref puts the count on, Angle works to his feet and is up. Crimson up, and gets a TBONE suplex on Angle for a close 2. Crimson tries the catatonic, countered, German suplex by Angle. STRAPS DOWN. Crimson is up and SPEARS Angle and covers again for a close 2! Angle attacks the knee of Crimson, ankle lock in and gets the grapevine. Crimson struggles for the ropes, Angle keeps the hold on, Crimson looks to tap but then starts to kick at Angle and escapes. Angle slam coutered, RED SKY by Crimson! 1…2…NO! Samoa Joe runs in and we get a DQ finish.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Crimson @ 11:00 (7:00 shown) via DQ
RATING: ***

-Angle and Joe face off, and Angle leaves Crimson to Joe. Joe lays the beatdown on Crimson, but Crimson fights back and Joe bails.

-We see reaction style footage of Crimson bitching about Joe, and Joe is here to finish the job and DESTROY Crimson’s leg. Joe says he may not have broke the streak, but he damn sure broke his leg.

Updated Bound for Glory Series Standings
* Crimson 50
* Bully Ray 49
* Bobby Roode 42
* James Storm 40
* Gunner 35
* Rob Van Dam 35
* Devon 30 [INJURED – OUT OF SERIES]
* Matt Morgan 24 [INJURED – OUT OF SERIES]
* AJ Styles 24
* Scott Steiner 21
* D’Angelo Dinero 17
* Samoa Joe -10

-End scene.

-Check out the podcast tomorrow night at 10PM as Steve Cook and I discuss Impact, Smackdown and all the news in wrestling.

-Thanks for reading.

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