From the Thomas and Mack Center in Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T & Josh Matthews
Championship's roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Daniel Bryan… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Jack Swagger… Tag Team Champions: Primo & Epico… Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix
Sin City SmackDown!
It should be noted, in the opening video package, it makes it look like Daniel Bryan planned to goad Big Show to knock out AJ Lee, perhaps she's in on it as well and will "turn" on Show (to join Bryan) at the appropriate moment. Speaking of Bryan, he opens the show berating Show for committing a "sin" bowling through AJ. Bryan calls Show tears last week, "crocodile tears"; Bryan says he did it because he is bitter for having the shortest title reign in history. Nice continuity on the Titantron, the usual SmackDown logos has been replaced with roulette wheels and craps tables. Bryan says AJ's career may be over (well it's been over since jobbing to Beth Phoenix for weeks and weeks); he goes over being told that she loves him, which has never been called before. Bryan is neither afraid of Mark Henry nor Big Show, who incidentally, isn't there this week. Bryan tells him [Big Show] to "do the right (and decent) thing and quit". Post-promo, Michael Cole agrees with a few of Bryan's points, but thinks his explanation is "ludicrous". Hmmm, slowly supporting Bryan? 7.5/10 Great opening promo by Daniel; his "anger" is transparent but it works for his new pompous character. I stated earlier, this should lead to Bryan leading Show into AJ, thus pissing her off to break up with him and join Show, then in the appropriate moment, make it all a ruse and have her turn on Show at the appropriate moment, saving the title for Bryan in a PINFALL loss. There you go… a well booked perfectly sensible swerve.
Meanwhile in the back, Sin City SmackDown rolls on with various Superstars playing craps and Teddy Long explaining the infamous Raw Roulette wheel to Aksana. She wants a pillow fight match with Teddy but Cody Rhodes interrupts; he berates his brother Goldust for once competing in a Vegas Showgirls match. He spins the wheel and lands on player's choice, which allows Cody to choose any opponent of his choice. Rhodes, just to be a dick, picks Hornswoggle, which SHOULD be an obliteration, but probably won't, because we need to protect a non-wrestling Leprechaun.
Hornswoggle vs. Cody Rhodes player's choice match: Cody picked Hornswoggle in the "player's choice" match because he's an awesome heel. Rhodes shoves the little guy down in the aisle and here comes Hornswoggle's new protector Justin Gabriel; he challenges Cody and Rhodes accepts a NON-title match…
Justin Gabriel vs. Cody Rhodes (w/Hornswoggle) player's choice match: Booker T berates Cody for not putting the title on the line; Michael Cole retorts with basically, "he's a jobber", just not in those actual words. Well I'm glad they're actually doing something with Gabriel. Justin pounds on the self-proclaimed "last hope for the Rhodes family" in the corner. Gabriel slides under Rhodes' legs and dropkicks him. Josh Matthews seems to be the only commentator who realizes that Gabriel, by saving Hornswoggle, as gotten himself a match with the IC champion, which normally would not have happened. Gabriel drops his head on a backdrop allowing Rhodes the Gutter Punch (a Rhodes family classic); Cody returns the standing dropkick favor and then hits a standing gourdbuster to segue into an armbar chinlock. Rhodes hits a few rope-aided stamps and applies another chinlock, arm-trap variety this time. Gabriel breaks free and clobbers him with a leaping enziguri; Rhodes smartly crawls to the other side of the ring, frustrating Gabriel. Justin whips him cross-corner and tries a float-over, but Cody catches him and looks for an Alabama Slam, HOWEVER, Gabriel slips over that into a sunset flip, for two; a backslide nets another two for Gabriel. He unloads a springboard crossbody, for another two. Rhodes has had enough of this offense and drops Gabriel across the top rope to counter a corner monkey flip; he immediately plants him with Cross Rhodes for the pinfall. 5.5/10 Pretty good match, Gabriel, who should lose to the IC champ, looked pretty good in said loss. The ending was fantastic, I'll explain: as soon as Rhodes had an opportunity to hit his finisher, he did, in lieu of toying around with the feisty Gabriel and losing, creating a possibly streaky hot opponent, who can now demand a title shot. Also, Hornswoggle couldn't give his friend the same assist he gave him last week versus Heath Slater?
In the back Mark Henry shits all over the Sin City SmackDown concept and blames Teddy Long for AJ Lee's condition. Long asks him to spin the wheel to determine his match, Henry thinks this is stupid (which makes sense with his character) so Teddy spins it for him. The title match is a lumberjack match, how CONVENIENT. Henry is pleased with the match and tonight, Daniel Bryan enters the Hall of Pain.
Highlights of Air Boom losing the tag titles to Primo and Epico are shown, which leads to…
The Usos vs. Epico & Primo (w/Rosa Mendes) Texas Tornado match: This should be fun. You will have to forgive me here, because BOTH teams look very similar in the ring; this may be the first tag match in a LONG TIME where both teams are wearing matching ring gear. All four of them brawl and the Usos manage a double elbow on Epico; they catch Primo in a top-rope decapitation move. Jimmy gets a nearfall on Primo as Jey (the heavier Uso) pounds on Epico in the corner. Primo extricates Jimmy from the ring and the Colóns work over Jimmy. HORSEMAN STOMP! They hit a double facebuster into a double vertical suplex. Nice. Epico gets the honor… for two. I'll give the Colón family this, they sure are great tag wrestlers, come to think of it, so is the Anoa‘i family. There is one thing that I used Wikipedia for today, figuring out that family tree. Jey is out on the floor for quite a while here. Jimmy mounts a comeback and finally Jey returns; the Usos run over the Colóns and hit stereo Samoan Avalanches. The Colóns retreat to the floor, in opposite corners, and the Usos give chase. Jey goes after Primo but Rosa distracts him with fiery Latina anger (she yells at him), which allows Primo to shove him into the ring apron. If this had been 1998, she probably would have shoved her little ass in his face, which albeit, would have made look Jey look like less of a chump, but it's not PG. Elsewhere, in the ring, Jimmy hits a nice twisting Superfly splash to Epico but Primo breaks up the pinfall; he lands the Backstabber and gets three. 6/10 Fun match, the Colóns are quickly running through the tag division; due to its depletion, they should complete it next week.
Sheamus joins Teddy Long and Aksana (interrupting the porno music) to spin the wheel for his match. Tables match. Sheamus is happy and leaves.
"Funkasaurus" Brodus Clay vs. Vickie Guerrero dance off: If there EVER was a need for a dance off, this is it. Vickie cuts the prerequisite, "I'm an awesome dancer" promo. Vickie does the ELAINE DANCE! Brodus dances with his Funkettes and jiggles next to Vickie. The fans OBVIOUSLY vote for Brodus. As if this couldn't get any more awesome, William Regal interrupts. He berates the fans for booing "this buxom wench". Vickie cries and blows her nose with his handkerchief allowing Regal to unload some classic Regal facials. Now, Clay asks for a mic and goads "sunshine" to dance by calling him a funking chicken. If I didn't know Clay's gimmick, I SWEAR he said "fucking" on television. Regal obliges because this is fantastic. Regal dances, adding a little phone gesture with his hands, somebody call his momma because Clay nails him with the Ah, Funk It. Clay says "my bad, somebody call his momma". 10/10 I don't care I heard Somebody Call My Momma twice; there was a Seinfeld reference, and William f'n Regal.
Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett tables match: …and from one Englishman we go to another. Barrett is still in his Crayola-level colored trunks, it's better than grey though. Booker T steals my Rumble pick (although picking Sheamus to win the Rumble is not exactly picking the Jets over the Colts in SuperBowl III). Barrett starts off hot until Sheamus gets mad and pounds on him; this is a slugfest all the way and Sheamus chucks Barrett to the floor. To the floor we go and Barrett rams Sheamus into the apron; Barrett retrieves a table but Sheamus quickly recovers and tosses him over the announce table. Sheamus tries a table spot to end it but gets posted. Back in the ring, Barrett stamps and roughs him up in the ropes; he tries the entangled rope running boot through a table, but Sheamus holds onto the top rope and winds up on the apron. Barrett tries a suplex to the floor through the table but Sheamus counters into the ten-punch ring rope clubber. Sheamus tries to shoulderblock him off the apron through the table but Barrett sails over it into the announce table. They brawl about the ringside area and back towards the ring; Sheamus retrieves a table but gets it booted back into his face. Now we return to the ring and Barrett sets up a table, he tries a running powerslam through it but Sheamus sunsets to foil; he wakes the crowd up with Irish Hammers and his own powerslam. He props him on the table and heads to the top, but Barrett recovers, and cuts him off. He tries a superplex but Sheamus shoves him off and LEAPS off the top, over Barrett and the table, to free himself from that compromising position. Man that was pretty sweet by Sheamus, dangerous as hell, but sweet. He landed on his feet a little awkwardly, I'm sure Vince McMahon held his breath there, not wanting to lose another potential Rumble victor to injury. Barrett smartly kicks the table away just before getting lassoed in the Irish Curse. That is good characterization for Barrett; since he's a "smart ring general" he should be able, in the heat of battle, to sense a momentum shift as he did there. Sheamus looks to toss Barrett through a table via Celtic Cross in the corner, but Jinder Mahal runs down here. He distracts Sheamus allowing Wade to savate kick him and tosses him through the table propped in the corner. Post-match, Mahal props a table up in the opposite corner and tries to toss him through it but Sheamus counters into the Brogue Kick. Sheamus runs him through the table to pop the crowd. 6.5/10 Good hard hitting match that gives Barrett a win, Sheamus his heat, and Mahal… well poor Jinder got the table sized end of the stick. Barrett couldn't have run back and saved his buddy a table spot? I am enjoying this extended Sheamus/Barrett feud; I hope it continues past the Rumble.
Ted Dibiase vs. Hunico (w/Camacho) flag match: Essentially a flag on a pole match and whoever retrieves their own flag wins. It takes the ring crew thirty seconds so set up the poles, allowing the commentators to get the storyline over, including a cut-in Dibiase promo, where he confirms the storyline between them: they felt slighted not getting an invite to a Dibiase Posse party. This match has heat since they built in nicely via midcard feuding over the past few weeks. Hunico pounds Dibiase down but gets his face planted on a hurracanrana attempt; Dibiase goes for the American flag but Hunico cuts him off with a self-sunset flip off the second rope. Nice. Now Hunico goes for his Mexican flag but gets cut off with an electric chair drop; he sends Dibiase FLYING over the top via backdrop. Hunico goes for the flag again but Dibiase recovers just in the nick of time, shoving him off the top, right into Camacho on the floor. Dibiase is selling the leg as he crawls to his corner to get to the flag. Hunico cuts him off but Ted nails Dream Street and collects the American flag to pick up the victory. Post-match, Dibiase waves the flag proudly as I have Jim Duggan flashbacks. Apparently Booker T does too because he mentions it just as I type it. 5.5/10 Entertaining match, albeit short, which has been a reoccurring theme on SmackDown, they are trying to squash as many in-ring matches into the two hours, which I'm fine with, despite sacrificing time. The Superstars get their time to build long matches on PPVs anyway.
In the back Daniel Bryan talks to Kaitlyn (presumably about AJ Lee) but didn't she turn on her last year? Elsewhere, after break, Drew McIntyre is with Teddy Long at the Roulette wheel. It seems that Long is only serious when McIntyre is present. Teddy FIRES Drew as Santino Marella wanders over and is upset that some people call his win over "Drew Macintosh" a fluke; he "does not like this for one second, man" and wants to prove it was no fluke. Drew spins the wheel and it lands on "blindfold match". Ugh.
Santino Marella vs. Drew McIntyre blindfold match: Drew is already in the ring. Santino is probably the only guy to be able to pull this match off with zeal. Marella puts a BLINDFOLD on his Cobra puppet as well. The typical blindfold match occurs with both guys meandering around for a while before Santino employs the Jake Roberts pointing strategy. Marella accidentally chops the ropes, Drew hears him and charges… and they both tumble to the floor. Drew punches the ringpost. Ouch. Somehow a blinded Drew manages to get back into the ring as does Santino. A funny moment occurs next: Marella finds referee Charles Robinson and readies the Cobra to strike, Robinson REMOVES the blindfold from the Cobra so it goes limp, realizing Santino will be disqualified if it strikes a referee, meanwhile, Drew has pulled up his blindfold to see where Marella is. He charges and whiffs on a boot and tumbles back to the floor. He rolls back in and Marella points and nails McIntyre with the unblended Cobra and Santino gets the win. 3/10 The match was smartly kept short, personality is the only thing that drives a match like this and Santino has plenty of that. It's hard to rate blindfold matches because of the hindrance to good in-ring work that such a match brings.
World Heavyweight Championship Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry lumberjack match: I notice Drew McIntyre (still sulking over the loss) is one of the lumberjacks here, isn't he fired? Also, Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks have new matching ring gear on as well. Wow, Bryan's heelwork is working well considering he is getting the bigger heel reaction than Henry. This match puts Bryan's recent strategies out of the playbook; let's see how he compensates in the psychology. Henry powers him around the ring and Bryan retreats to the apron where he and Wade Barrett exchange words. Henry catches him with a head-butt and Bryan heads to the floor where he gives Tyler Reks a shove; Bryan is basically a heel (so the babyfaces won't like him) but he's such a dick to everyone even the heels are annoyed with him, which is interesting. Bryan heads onto the apron and berates a bunch of the heels telling them not to touch him because he's the champ. Henry stands on him in the ropes to the delight of Reks; the pounding continues and Bryan tries some comebacks that Henry easily shrugs off. Bryan tries to speed the match up but gets shoulderblocked to the floor, where Barrett and Justin Gabriel toss him back into the ring, tons of history there. Bryan yells at Barrett who responds with "just doing my job" with a smirk on his face. I love the psychology of this match and Bryan's character. We head to commercial as Bryan has an "oh shit, I can't run away" look on his face. When we return Henry is midst hiptossing Bryan across the ring; Bryan smartly works over the previously injured leg of Henry with chopblocks. He chops Henry in the corner but keeps getting shoved away and tenaciously charging back; this is interesting because the fans usually rally Bryan at this point (also not omitting the tenacious part of his persona from his character) and they actually are responding with babyface pops. Bryan hits a running dropkick to finally fell Henry. Daniel kicks Henry's head off in a Mortal Kombat looking "finish him" moment, but merely gets a nearfall. Bryan retreats to the floor where he goes eyeball to eyeball with Epico and Primo; Hawkins, Reks and Cody Rhodes wander over, but they don't touch him, they just point to what's awaiting for him in the ring. He's disrespected everyone to the point that even the heels, who will cheap shot anyone, won't even bother wasting their time with him. He heads back into the ring where Henry gets his head ripped off with a clothesline and tosses him around the ring, literally, with launching-pad bodyslams. Bryan continues to fire back and gets Jannettied with a clothesline, for a nearfall. Henry's face turns to angry Mark as he press-slams Bryan out onto a pile of babyfaces. Apparently, Bryan raked Henry's eyes as he was pressing him and the WWE felt that was really important to retape Michael Cole's commentary to mention it. Ted Dibiase tries to toss him back into the ring but Bryan shoves him away, now all of the babyfaces begin to attack him and the heels join them, putting aside their differences to get at him. He winds up on the apron and starts to antagonize again but Henry cuts that off. Back in the ring, Bryan knocks Henry to the floor but as the lumberjacks try to get him back in the ring Bryan begins to kick them off. Finally, they've had enough and Barrett, Rhodes, Dibiase and Ezekiel Jackson run into the ring and attack Bryan. Henry clears all of the lumberjacks away from himself, knocking them all on their collective asses, and reenters the ring. He heads over to Bryan and shoves in succession, Dibiase, Rhodes, Jackson and Barrett away. Bryan charges right into a World's Strongest Slam attempt but Rhodes attacks Henry as the match totally breaks apart and all of the lumberjacks charge in for the prerequisite Rumble preview. I just noticed that Gabriel has changed his ring attire to the purple motif from the black earlier in the show. Now everyone pairs off into a huge brawl as Bryan and Henry escape, Bryan sneaks out the back door with his title and vacates the area. I assume the match is a no contest. Post-match, Teddy Long meets Bryan at the Gorilla position and berates him for running away. Bryan retorts with hey I've been in consecutive title matches first with Big Show and now with thirty guys trying to beat him up. What's next a match on the moon? Long gets pissed and books a triple threat steel cage title match for the Rumble with Bryan, Henry and Big Show. 7/10 Well this match brought a new side of Bryan, not only is he turning heel, but he is provoking all of the rest of the heels with his brimming overconfidence, basically turning his character into a Steve Austin character but the chicken-shit version as opposed to the ass kicker version. Bryan's clever stratagem was to piss off all the lumberjacks, throughout the match, to the point that the huge brawl would erupt and he would escape with the title; fun psychology for a normal mundane match.
OVERALL 6.5/10 Not too bad of a show this week; on par last week. The match quality was a little less than last week as were the storylines; everything is status quo heading into the Rumble.
