From the Tucson Arena at Tucson Convention Center in Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T & Josh Matthews
Championship's roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Daniel Bryan… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Jack Swagger… Tag Team Champions: Primo & Epico… Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix
Big Show appears for the first time since the AJ Lee collision; he has a lot to say but he opens with "I'm sorry". He's already said this to AJ and she forgave him. Show asks the fans to forgive him but he is having issues forgiving himself. Show recounts his youth when he would accidentally injure other kids due to him not knowing his own strength; he also says that since he found the WWE, a place where a freak like him, he finally says he belongs. Retirement is teased due to guilt but Daniel Bryan interrupts (with no title belt). Bryan says "I'm sorry" does not make things better; Bryan says that her forgiveness to Show was under heavy medication and therefore has no recollection. When Bryan watched the WWE, when he was a kid, it was not a place for genetic freaks. I'm about to mention André the Giant but Bryan stops me (and Big Show) saying that Show is no André the Giant. Daniel calls bullshit on his "retirement" because he would not even be on SmackDown and should stay home and just retire; Bryan passionately yells at him and SLAPS him calling him a monster. Show snaps and grabs Bryan and tells him it was an accident… and what happens this Sunday won't be; he tosses Bryan to the floor. Now, Mark Henry heads out to the ring and says that he is also in the cage on Sunday. He does not care about Show's hurt feelings, Bryan's Napoleon Complex, or AJ at all; he calls the title his and threatens to attack Bryan. Teddy Long comes out, playas. He says the usual stuff and books a few matches, one of which is Big Show versus Mark Henry. 7/10 Good promo from all three involved; Bryan's heel work is great and is getting over pretty well with the crowd. I hope he keeps the belt long enough, at least until WrestleMania, and stays with this character, because he'll get over and stay over with or without the belt. Presuming he is not wrestling Trent Barreta on Superstars by the summer.
Justin Gabriel vs. Cody Rhodes: Cody, is my friend, The Highway's pick (follow him on Twitter @KenVentreYO because he's a beast). Pre-match, Rhodes cuts a PIP promo calling Gabriel an Anime character. They lock up and Gabriel hits a spin kick; Rhodes comes back with an Alabama Slam for a nearfall. He continues the onslaught with a short-knee into a Russian leg sweep; an armbar is applied briefly before Gabriel goes into Comeback #17: monkey flip, kick, kick, spin kick. He hits a lunging forearm and a twisting pescado to the floor. He tries a springboard crossbody but Rhodes goes old school rolling through into a close nearfall. He charges right into an STO, though. Gabriel tries a top-rope Lionsault, but Cody avoids, Gabriel still manages to land on his feet but tweaked the landing; the Beautiful Disaster follows. CROSS RHODES! Cody wins. 4.5/10 Not bad but way too short, Gabriel needed that to be longer, he also needed to sneak a win in there as well since Rhodes (mentioned in his PIP promo) that he graciously granted Gabriel this opportunity, and he still fell short. Oh, well, I like Gabriel but I think he'd be better suited for tag teaming now. Perhaps a team with the new babyface Tyson Kidd, who is also doing nothing, or with Kofi Kingston, for Air Boom II?
In the back Santino Marella makes up a ridiculous match idea with the loser being shot to the moon. Teddy Long ain't feelin' that playa. Marella asks Yoshi Tatsu his opinion, calling him "Toshi Yatsu". Marella tells Long that he and Tatsu want to form a tag team called "San-toshi", I like that, but Tatsu's prefers "Yoshi-tino". They argue until Drew McIntyre shows up. Marella makes fun of him and leaves with Yoshi. Drew cites Babe Ruth striking out five times in a game as a slump, much like his losing streak. Teddy is hearing none of it and books him in a match with Sheamus. Batter up, the match is next.
Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre: Sheamus is my pick for the Rumble this year. I don't see McIntyre's losing streak losing ending here but if he manages a win here, against the nuclear hot Sheamus, he should never be fired again. Drew is in blue, which is a good sign for him, but not in this match as Sheamus pounds away on him. Drew pounds back and tries a hiptoss but eats a short clothesline. Michael Cole compares Drew McIntyre to Alex Smith of the San Francisco 49ers, naming highly touted draft pick as his reason, but Drew won the IC title and tag titles (and was pretty dominant in the beginning), Smith sucked then and sucks now, his DEFENSE (and a shit NFC West) got him into the playoffs; the Niners do a great job hiding his inabilities. Anyway, Sheamus comes back and hits a Finlay Roll for two; Drew counters the ring rope clubbering with a stunner off the top strand. McIntyre comes back with a basement dropkick and clubbers Sheamus in the corner. A nice Northern Lights suplex gets two for Drew. He applies an armbar and then a snap-suplex with a float-over for a nearfall. A soccer kick pisses Sheamus off. He pounds McIntyre in the corner that allows Comeback #3, which is: clothesline, Irish Hammer, Irish Hammer, powerslam. Drew retreats to the ropes and cheap shots him; Sheamus quickly recovers and plants him with the Brogue Kick for three. 3/10 Drew had 0% chance to win that match; even if there was storyline involved, Drew still had 0% chance of winning. Typical Sheamus win, I like him but ALL of his matches are starting to become the same; they just have such intensity and zeal that it keeps them from becoming trite, plus he's MEGA over.
The Rumble is all about the numbers.
Yoshi Tatsu & Santino Marella vs. Primo & Epico (w/Rosa Mendes): Rosa cuts a PIP promo in Spanish, probably would have been better served if the PIP was just a video of her ass, it probably would have gotten the message across better. San-toshi is already in the ring and they try to out bow each other. Santino starts with Primo; Santino does some nice armature stuff and then celebrates with the Trombino. Primo gets annoyed and runs into a drop-toehold; Yoshi tags in and hits a top-rope elbow to Primo's arm. He wrings the arm and chops away. Primo comes back and blind tags Epico, who runs over Tatsu. He hits a nice butterfly suplex and applies a keylock. Tatsu counters a neckbreaker with a backslide. Marella gets a hot tag and begins his silly comeback #14: split-legged dropdown, hiptoss, and Salute head-butt. Primo and Yoshi run in and all hell breaks loose. Yoshi gets clotheslined to the floor, Primo eats a Cobra strike, and finally Santino gets Backstabbed for three. 3.5/10 Another win for the tag champs against a mismatched team, but hopefully not for long, as the San-toshi team is allowed to continue; the WWE looks like it WANTS to push tag teams for the umpteenth time but the dissolution of Air Boom, I think, hurt the division.
In the back Mark Henry readies himself for his match, when Daniel Bryan interrupts and spouts off disingenuous respect for Henry. He brings up Big Show and now Henry is interested in what he has to say. He says that Show does not deserve to be in their match since Bryan defeated him twice; he paints a picture of Teddy Long secretly wanting Show as his champion. Henry asks him to come to a point. Bryan says that Henry needs to hurt Show this week and injure him. How foreboding was that statement? Spoiler alert: Henry injures his knee in the upcoming main event.
English gentleman Wade Barrett comes out for his impending match with Randy Orton and demands some decorum (because British people use fancy words). Wade is my alternate pick (secondary pick), in that I'm actually rooting for him to win, and think it would be different direction as opposed to going with the usual main event suspects, but I think the WWE will go Sheamus. Barrett feels that Orton's ego is forcing him to return. Physically he's fine but spiritually he's not the same competitor. We get highlights of Orton's stumble down the stairs (including elevator security cam footage, which should have had a muzak version of Voices playing). Barrett says "he's fallen and he can't get up". He continues to rant about Orton until his music interrupts. We see him heading through the backstage area on his way to the ring while Barrett looks on is disgust. They meet in the aisle and the fight is on. Randy pounds on Barrett in the corner as a gaggle of referees try to stop him; the battle continues on the floor until Teddy Long calls the Superstars level wrestlers from his roster to break it up. Tyler Reks, Trent Barreta and Curt Hawkins run out and fail miserably, because they're jobbers. Back in the ring, the fight continues as Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso arrive to help; Barrett escapes up the ramp in the mêlée. Orton stares down Barrett and nails an RKO to Reks and then an RKO to Hawkins. Wade walks off; Barreta wanders a bit too close to Orton and eats an RKO as well. The Usos are no match for Orton either and take RKOs as well. 5/10 Orton's back, and I'm sure he and Barrett will cross paths in the Rumble; this feud may have sealed the fate on both winning the Rumble considering that it looks like this battle may go to WrestleMania. I'm always a sucker for Orton handing out RKOs to hapless Superstars.
In the back Daniel Bryan talks to Kaitlyn, who is apparently still AJ Lee's best friend despite turning on her last fall. Bryan wants her to do AJ a favor and deliver a message to Big Show; that Mark Henry is going to try to injure him tonight, to keep him out of the title match at the Rumble. Kaitlyn begins to see through Bryan's deceit but he uses AJ's love for him as his retort. Kaitlyn asks him how he really feels for AJ. Bryan uses his privacy to skirt around the answer. Michael Cole sees through Bryan's lies as well, calling him a "snake" prior to the next match, therefore verifying all of his disdain for him dating back to Season 1 of NXT.
Ted Dibiase vs. Hunico (w/Camacho): This feud continues, which can only benefit both guys. Dibiase cracked a bone in his wrist at a house show in Winnipeg and is wearing a Bob Orton cast. Dibiase protects his arm at the bell since he's a babyface, in lieu of using it illegally, like "Ace" Orton or Owen Hart. Dibiase hits some clotheslines and a boot to the face. Hunico finally nails his wrist and works it over with aggression and a leg drop. He forearms it and applies a Fujiwara armbar. Dibiase comes back and punches away. He hits the Dibiase Lariat and tries Dream Street but Hunico picks the injured wrist to break the hold and drops a Backstabber arm breaker. He finishes with a tight-spiral Olympic Slam for three. Post-match, he and Camacho work the broken wrist over and stomp it on the steel steps. 4/10 Quick match, most likely because Dibiase's legit injury, this gives Hunico some momentum and heat as well as explains Dibiase's time off (if he takes some) to heal the injury.
In the back Aksana hangs with Teddy Long but they are interrupted by an angry Natalya; probably angry for jobbing every week to Tamina and Alicia Fox in thirty seconds. He demands a match with Tamina; Aksana gets a little too bold, agreeing with Nattie but burying her at the same time. Natalya calls Tamina a "whack job" so Aksana says "whack job? Whatever I do with Teddy in private..." Whoa. Teddy gets uncomfortable and coughs her off. He books her in a match with Natalya. Nattie says she can't wait to make her cry. Then someone farts… no seriously, there was a loud farting noise. Nattie runs off guiltily and everyone vacates the premises. Santino Marella wanders in afterwards and eats a big gulp of flatulence. O-kay…?
"Funkasaurus" Brodus Clay (w/Karen & Naomi) vs. Alex Riley: Not sure about the babyface versus babyface match between these two, unless Riley turned heel when I wasn't looking. Riley is still in the ring for the dance number and grooves in the background. I guess he's still a babyface. He and Riley have a little dance off which is ended by the Schuplex. Funky Avalanche follows and Riley gets planted by the What the Funk (they changed the name, I guess) for three. 4.5/10 I find it alarming that Riley was as hot a babyface when he turned on The Miz and now he's jobbing to Clay in less than ten seconds. Somebody call my momma.
In the back Kaitlyn delivers Daniel Bryan's message to Big Show. After that we get practically the entire Kane versus Zack Ryder decimation from Raw, plus all of the extracurricular stretchering, Eve Torres blaming John Cena, and Angry Cena. The commentators downgrade Ryder's broken back to a herniated disc, which is still serious but not as career threatening as a broken back. I guess Ryder won't be in the Rumble.
Aksana vs. Natalya: Nattie is already in the ring, of course. Aksana gets her lounge act music for her entrance. She is wearing a black lacy full-suit. For some reason, Nattie backtracks and says she wants Tamina instead and turns her back to Aksana… and gets rolled up for three. Post-match, Nattie clips her leg out and applies the Sharpshooter to make her cry and tap out. Tamina comes to her rescue and drops Natalya with a Superfly Splash. 1/10 Why even bother coming to work, Nattie?
Big Show vs. Mark Henry: Daniel Bryan's heelwork is so good it may even turn Henry babyface at the Rumble. Speaking of Bryan, he comes out (with title belt on) just to be a general douchebag; Show clubbers Henry aggressively (probably due to Kaitlyn's message about injuries earlier) so Henry retreats to the floor and eyeballs Bryan. Show meets him on the floor and tosses him back in the ring and chops him in the corner. Michael Cole continues to bash Bryan on commentary, which is interesting, since Booker T is having a tougher time defending him, week after week, since Bryan's actions get more and more pretentious. Henry begins to comeback with punches but then (legit) hyper-extending his knee stepping forward for a punch and crumbles onto the mat in pain. Referee Scott Armstrong talks to Henry and they change the match on the fly and he rolls to the floor. Back from commercial break, Bryan is sliding into the ring. The entire match had to be drastically rebooked; Show wins by countout, for those of you who care about match conclusions, so this is all post-match. Bryan attacks Show with a chair but gets laid out by the angry giant. Show controls the ring with the chair and then chases Bryan around the ring; Bryan, ever the clever heel, tosses the World title at Show and then dropkicks his knee out. Booker, who is FINALLY getting annoyed at D-Bry's actions, calls him a "Sneaky son-of-a-gun". He lays out Show with the chair and chokes him with it; he rapid fires on Show's arm and locks in the LeBell Lock in the ring. Show frees himself and chokeslams Bryan. The WMD is "cocked and loaded" but Bryan escapes to the floor as Show shouts at him. 3/10 Henry's injury was a big problem, but it gives us the fan, chances to see how professional wrestling handles stuff like this on the fly. This is one of Mark Henry's biggest bugaboos; getting hurt at inopportune times, he was already battling a legit groin injury, which is one of the reason he dropped the title in the first place.
OVERALL 5.5/10 A very passable show leading into the Rumble; Henry's injury is going to have the WWE rebook the match at the Rumble, I assume that Henry will be in the match but not do anything of note. Everything else was storyline continuum leading into the Rumble and subsequent Road To WrestleMania.
