Commentators: Scott Stanford, Josh Matthews & Matt Striker
Championship's roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Daniel Bryan… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Jack Swagger… Tag Team Champions: Primo & Epico… Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jinder Mahal: I see Jinder Mahal has returned to Jobber Mahal and trapped on WWE Superstars. Here's an international flavor match. Here we go, they lock up and Mahal uses the knee to take over and clubber him down. Tatsu comes back running off the ropes with a crossbody and a JAPANESE armdrag; he flaunts a dropkick and takes over with chops in the corner. Jinder takes over again and stamps him down; knees are dropped and Mahal nets two. He settles into some choking on the ropes and Tatsu is suffering. He drops a nice vertical suplex, butterfly style, for two, so he settles into a chinlock; Tatsu comes back with punches to a faint "Yoshi" chant but Mahal buried a knee into his gut to take back over. More choking in the ropes and in the corner follows; Yoshi tries chops to retain control but Mahal bangs him back down and is firmly in control with a chinlock. Another "Yoshi" chant fires Tatsu up again and this time Mahal misses a corner charge; Yoshi's chops and kicks have more effect this time allowing him a Shining Wizard, for a nearfall. Tatsu to the top. Alliteration. He misses the super spinning wheel kick and Mahal knees the back of his neck. Jinder immediately clamps on the Camel Clutch for the submission. 3.5/10 Brisk (boring) squash to keep Mahal strong against the jobbers on Superstars, not sure where he goes now though, as for Tatsu… well we know where he is (not) going; a tag team with Santino Marella would be good for him, hard to believe he won a WrestleMania battle royal.
Here is your winner… Jinder Mahal @ about 8:00 via Camel Clutch submission.
A special video package featuring The Rock is shown (the same one from the Royal Rumble).
Kelly Kelly & Alicia Fox vs. The Bella Twins: Oh, boy. Kelly and… well one of the Bellas starts but she retreats to the floor with her sister for tandem ass shaking, twice. Kelly gets annoys and tags in Fox; the babyfaces hit stereo baseball slides and she tosses Nikki back in she drops her with a dropkick; she hits a rebound back elbow off the second rope (in theory). The Bellas take over when they hang Alicia off the top rope and work her over in the corner with boots and chokes. Brie tags in and chokes with the boot; she applies a chinlock. Before you ask, the way I tell them apart is by listening to the Bella on the apron shout encouragement, eventually she will say the name, and then I just keep track of the tags. Alicia comes back but Brie tags in Nikki and they invent a new move, the Double Bootie Shake, where they each pick a side of her head and rub their asses against it; I'm sure there will be many men who wish that move onto themselves. Scott Stanford (who rules) deadpan calls so seriously it like Howard Cosell calling a Monday Night Football game, it cracks me (and Josh Matthews) up. Anyway, Foxy kicks one Bella into another and ALMOST tags in Kelly. Nikki takes over with another chinlock, Alicia frees herself with a split-legged arm whip; NOW Kelly gets the tag and comes off the top for a Super Thesz Press. She plants Nikki with a faceplant and the spinning head scissors; the Stink Face follows. Kelly plants Nikki with the K-2 for the three count. 4/10 This was not a bad divas match, which are usually dreadful, the POWER OF ASS helped it tremendously as well.
Here are your winners… Kelly Kelly & Alicia Fox @ about 7:15 via K-2 pinfall.
A tedious John Cena video (the one from the Royal Rumble) is shown; this is like the embodiment of why people have turned him.
R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero): We get a Raw level match (as our main event) tonight here on WWE Superstars. Vickie heads over to Scott Stanford and asks him to call her. Awesome! Swagger uses WRESTLING to take Truth down and then shares a victory lap. Truth fires up the crowd with a "what's up" line; oh, no Truth, don't go back to that gimmick, stay with the Little Jimmy lunatic persona, it's much better than generic rapping babyface. Truth clamps on a side headlock and shouts out to Little Jimmy, ah, that's better. Swagger wrests it into a top wristlock as Stanford mentions that Vickie is trying to add Tamina to her stable; I like the idea that she'd manage a diva, but didn't Tamina just turn babyface? The fight over the wristlock continues until Swagger retreats to the ropes; Truth dances which draws a blind charge from Swagger… right into a leg lariat, for the nearfall. Jack catches him with a forearm to the face and then tosses him into the ropes with some more rebounding forearms to the back. Swagger drops a leg and applies a chinlock. The wwe.com video feed goes completely haywire, but still has commentary; that's one thing the WWE NEEDS to fix is their websites bandwidth or whatever controls the video feed. At least I'm missing chinlock. I actually have to refresh the friggin' page and sit through another Ghost Rider preview. Back to the match, I saw the legdrop, nice height; now the chinlock, actually it's a seated top wristlock, so the feed did mess up my play-by-play. Truth comes back with a… now the feed crashed my browser. This is so painful, all for WWE Superstars. Truth comes back with punches and a hiptoss; he breakdance comes back with a dancin' legdrop; Swagger retreats to the floor to consult with Guerrero. Truth knocks him down with a pescado. Back from break, Truth tosses Swagger into the corner and kicks him in the face. Vickie hops up on the apron allowing Swagger a boot to the knee and the Swagger Bomb; he takes over with stomps and applies a double armlock. Truth begins to fire up with bug-eyed faces but walks into a big boot for two. He continues the punishment in the corner and whips him cross-corner with a hard Irish whip. Swagger pounds on the back and does pushups on him. SHOW OFF. Oh, wait wrong Vickie stablemate. Truth fires up again and they double clothesline each other. Swagger charges in the corner but Truth moves, fires up, and comes back with clotheslines and a reverse scissors stretch for two. Truth drops him with a DDT for a close nearfall; Vickie laughs at the crowd for biting on the false finish. Swagger tries the ankle lock; Truth counters but misses the axe kick and Swagger bowls him over. Swagger rises to his feet and hits another running forearm. Jack taunts Truth forever and then tries another Swagger Bomb, Truth gets the feet up, but Jack anticipated it, and tries another ankle lock. Truth flips him off and Swagger meets the buckles. LITTLE JIMMY! Truth pins the US Champion. 6.5/10 That match seemed like it took me an hour to recap because of the crappy feed early in the match. It fixed itself eventually and the match itself was pretty good but the grade is muffed up because I watched the match in three sections; hard to get a true gauge on a match when it reloads three times. I guess this means that Truth gets a title shot soon.
Here is your winner… R-Truth @ (what felt like) 35:10 via Little Jimmy pinfall.
OVERALL 5/10 I'm so frustrated with wwe.com, I wanna give the show a zero, but it's not the wrestlers' faults so I'll try to be impartial like Jesse Ventura. Average show with a squash, a decent divas tag match and a midcard main event; that's what Superstars is all about.
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