411’s TNA Impact Wrestling Report 2.2.12

411’s IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT 2.02.12

Championship Roll Call:
TNA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP: Bobby Roode
TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Austin Aries
TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: Crimson and Matt Morgan
TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP: Gail Kim
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: Gail Kim and Madison Rayne
TNA TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Robbie E

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The Usual DeMarco Disclaimers…
* I am rolling 100% SPOILER FREE tonight! 100%.
* I actually like Impact Wrestling, and want to see TNA be successful.
* Tonight we will have NO GUEST STAR! In fact, I’m discontinuing it. TNA needs the chance to stand on its own.

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Tonight, Hulk Hogan returns as Impact Wrestling goes global from the sold out Wembley Arena in London England!

Mike Tenay & Taz welcome us to Phase One of “The Invasion.”

Promo Time with World Champion Bobby Roode & Bully Ray
Ray covers Roode’s ears as he gets heat—the real kind!—from the crowd. The sound quality isn’t the best, but the fact that there are fans sitting on BOTH SIDES of the arena makes up for it! Bully Ray says he & Bobby Roode made sure no one would see Jeff Hardy tonight. In fact, you’ll never see him again! Wait, was he arrested again? No? Just an angle? ‘kay. Roode goes for the cheap heat by saying they’re in Ireland. This show reminds me of watching NWA house-shows on TBS late at night as a kid—and that is not a bad thing at all. Think pre Clash of the Champions.

Roode calls out James Storm, who is going to be outnumbered if he obliges. Storm finally appears, right after Roode calls him a “Cowgirl.” Storm doesn’t say anything (Bully Ray does), but The Man Called The Icon Authority Figure Sting makes his way out to a great response.

Sting says that Hardy is fine and announces a 4-way for the World Championship for Against All Odds (Roode vs. Ray vs. Storm vs. Hardy). He also grants James Storm’s wish, booking two singles matches for tonight: Storm vs. Bully Ray and Storm vs. Bobby Roode.

And Hogan is BACK…Tonight!

Garett Bischoff Backstage
Garett walks backstage, talking on his cell phone to Hulk Hogan his trainer. We’ll see that trainer, TONIGHT!

Buckingham Rules (Non-Title)
Samoa Joe & Magnus vs. World Tag Team Champions Matt Morgan & Crimson
As a guy from Richmond, Virginia, I did find it funny to hear Taz & Tenay joke about Magnus being from Norfolk and Joe being from Richmond. The opener gets Jeremy Borash’s special ring announcing? Joe and Mangus win a coin toss that allows both men to be in the ring, while Morgan & Crimson have to tag each other. The “heels” start off hot against Crimson, and the crowd is NUTS for the pairing. Joe 7 Magnus don’t let up, and the crowd reacts to every little move. Tenay reminds us that Magnus was on the cast of UK Gladiators, but doesn’t mention Morgan’s brief run on the American version.

Matt Morgan enters the ring, but the referee enforces the rules, forcing him to follow the (convoluted) rules. Morgan tags in, and it’s clothesline city! Magnus ducks a clothesline but is caught in a Fall Away Slam. Morgan sends Joe to the outside, and a side slam gets two. We pair off with Morgan & Magnus in the ring, Crimson & Joe on the outside. Joe connects with his corner combo, followed by the snap-mare elbow combo, and the champs lose!
Winners: Samoa Joe & Magnus (Snap Mare/Elbow Combination), 4:00, ***

Joe & Magnus head to the back as Taz plugs James Storm’s two matches for tonight. Eric Bischoff arrives at the arena as we go to commercial.

[Commercial Break.]

Promo Time with Eric Bischoff
Eric Bischoff enters the arena to a chorus of boos. It makes me sad to know that Impact is back in Orlando through May after these two shows.

Eric says the Brits are uncivilized, and then turns his attention to Garett Bischoff—and his fantasy of becoming a professional wrestler. Bischoff is going to put an end to it tonight, so he calls out “young Garett.” The love child of Jimmy Rave and Frankie Kazarian makes his way out, and gets a nice reaction from the crowd. Eric informs him to enjoy this moment—it’s likely to be his last. Eric discusses the difference between goals & fantasies, saying that Garett’s efforts at wrestling are more of the latter than the former. He refers to the trainer as “him,” calling him a coward who will never back Garett up. Garett says Eric can talk to the trainer directly, and Eric says he isn’t there. But they already said Hogan is there, and Eric knows it’s Hogan, right?

Garett takes a call, then tells Eric that he’s “so damn wrong!” The trainer is in the building, and wants to see Eric…LATER TONIGHT! Hey, Hogan’s here too, TONIGHT! What a coincidence!

Still to come: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode, Austin Aries vs. Mark Haskins (which is next), and the return of Garett’s trainer Hulk Hogan!

[Commercial Break.]

Video package on Mark Haskins as he readies to face the X-Division Champion. I imagine he’ll have Magnus level support out there tonight.

Non-Title Match
X-Division Champion Austin Aries vs. Mark Haskins
So I was wrong, Aries actually got more of a reaction than Haskins. Chain wrestling to start, ends in a stand-off. Tenay & Taz choose to not ignore the obvious—that this crowd is pro-Aries. Haskins skins the cat and snaps Aries down with a head scissors, following that up with a leg lariat. This time Aries skins the cat, but Haskins dropkicks him to the floor. Springboard by Haskins, but Aries pushes him onto the top rope. Haskins takes a tough spill to the outside, and Aries dives off the top to the floor with a double axe-handle. HUGE Austin Aries chant—I wonder if that’s what TNA had in mind when they booked this match?

Taz calls them out for pushing Haksins as a hometown hero, and Tenay agrees. Back inside and Haskins takes over on offense. He gets some support, but Aries gets a bigger reaction in his cutoff. Spring board cross body gets two for Haskins. Cutter gets two for Haskins. Haskins goes up as the crowd chants for Aries some more. Haskins LESNARS THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS! Holy crap! Kick to the head, brain buster, and Last Chancery earn Aries the submission victory.
Winner: Austin Aries (Last Chancery), 4:51, ***

We get replays of the action, including multiple shots of the botches SSP. Ouch!

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode is NEXT!

[Commercial Break.]

Eric Bischoff Backstage
Eric Bischoff tries to get a cab, and tells some horrible jokes in the process. Sting arrives and hangs up the phone—sending Eric towards the Arena.

Non-Title Match
James Storm vs. World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Roode
Adam Testa, blogger for the Baltimore Sun and personal friend of mine, asked if the lack of a big stage would hurt the appeal tonight. I say no, I don’t think it makes a difference. I actually love the feel of tonight’s show. Storm is all business, staring a hole through the smug champion. Roode wins the early chain wrestling battle, but Storm reverses into a hammerlock. Shoulder block by Roode sends Storm down, but Storm comes back with a hip toss and a big knee drop. Leg drop gets two (that move NEVER WORKS!). Storm teases the Last Call Superkick, but Roode rolls to the outside. Good heel champion…

[Commercial Break.]

We return with both men in the ring, Storm in control. Roode reverses, and we learn that next week’s Impact Wrestling will be a special “Star Wars” edition. WHAT? Can’t it just be wrestling? Shoulder to the gut in the corner by Roode, and the champ is proud of his work. Gord Buster by Roode in the center of the ring gets two. The champ continues the assault on his former Beer Money partner, and Roode is drawing some great heat. TNA is loving the wide shots tonight, and I don’t blame them one bit. Soak it in boys, you deserve it!

Roode is showing a little frustration at his inability to put Storm away. Roode locks in a devastating waist-lock, and wants Brian Hebner to “ASK HIM!” More wide shots of the crowd as Storm works his way out of the waist lock. Storm eats a knee but turns it into a roll-up for two. The crowd is living and dying at every move now. We get the “YAY!” “BOO!” treatment for a punch exchange, and Storm comes out on the better of that one. Storm goes up top with Roode, and connects with a top rope ‘rana! We get a special replay as both men are down. Taz reminds us that Storm has to wrestle again later tonight.

Storm is ON FIRE! And so is the crowd! Backstabber by Storm, and he heads up top. Storm flies, and the big time elbow connects! 1…2…NO! The crowd ate that one up, and I will argue that if Impact Wrestling came from a packed arena each week the internet would treat the product much differently. Reversal by Roode, and he locks in the crossface in the center of the ring. Storm reverses into a roll-up, but Roode keeps it going until Storm gets a rope break. We’re 12 minutes in as Roode is on control.

Storm reverses out of the Fisherman’s Suplex, and has Roode up for the Eye of the Storm. Storm is winded, and Roode is able to reverse down. Fisherman’s Suplex gets two for the World Champion. Bobby Roode heads outside and grabs his title, charging at Storm. Storm sees it and connects with a code breaker. Bully Ray makes his way out, distracting Storm and opening the way for a Bobby Roode victory.
Winner: Bobby Roode (spear), 13:51. ***1/3

Ray & Roode continue the attack on Storm, but Sting makes the save. Ray & Roode leave without incident.

[Commercial Break.]

Non-Title Match
Tara vs. Knockouts Champion Gail Kim
The beautiful Madison Rayne accompanies Gail Kim to the ring, and Taz questions the logic of this match. He is not alone. Tara is inexplicably wrestling in a t-shirt tonight, but tears it off before connecting with a standing moonsault for two. It doesn’t take long for Gail to take the advantage, beating on Tara as she hangs over the middle rope. Gail Kim is working over Tara’s back here, scoring a near fall in the process.

Gail locks in what is basically an inverted Boston Crab, and she draws tremendous heat from the crowd. Gail locks in a dragon sleeper, but Tara reverses into a roll-up for two. The heels have all been phenomenal tonight, by the way. Tara finally powers her way into an advantage, taking her down with a few…slaps. Tara redeems herself with a HUGE back-body drop. Big powerslam by Tara, but Madison runs interference to prevent the fall. Madison’s next attempt at interference fails, and Tara hits the Widow’s Peak! 1…2…3!
Winner: Tara (Widow’s Peak), 4:54, ***

Garett Bischoff’s trainer to be revealed…NEXT! In completely unrelated news, Hulk Hogan appears NEXT! TONIGHT!

Promo Time with Garett Bischoff
It’s Time! It’s…Garett…TIME! Garett thanks the fans for their support, and starts to introduce his trainer as Daddy interrupts—with Gunner. He says the trainer isn’t coming, so Garett should give up. Some eerily familiar music plays, and by gosh it’s Hulk Hogan! The crowd gives him a great welcome, but they gave Magnus a better one! See, even being spoiler free I knew what was coming. Hogan says “mother f*cker” and immediately goes to work on Gunner. Garett gets involved as well, and Eric watches on in agony. Hogan & Garett go after Eric, but Gunner drags him to safety on the outside. Hogan shakes Garett’s hand, and Taz declares that round one goes to Hogan & Garett Bischoff. Hogan & Garett vs. Eric & Gunner at Lockdown? I’d be okay with that—on the undercard.

Hogan tears off the short and some vintage posing. 28 years later and it still works, even if there is more flab involved. Tenay informs us that they have cameras headed backstage to talk to Hogan & Garett.

James Storm vs. Bully Ray is…NEXT!

Hogan & Garett Backstage
Hogan says that Eric has a target on his back, and the TNA Hulkamaniacs know what’s up. Garett is so happy about Eric’s reaction when Hogan came out. Hogan says that Bischoff is a marked man, and makes a really poor joke about Bischoff’s manhood. Pics or it never happened, Hulk! Hogan plans to feed Eric to Garett, then says that TNA is on its way to being the #1 company in the world. They’re “this close.” He smells blood—a new contract! Hyperbole much, Hulk?

Main Event
Bully Ray vs. James Storm
Storm is heavily taped, and Bully Ray immediately points it out. “I’m a bust you up and I’m a break your ribs!” Crowd is RABID for this match. Ray talks a little too much trash, and meets some right hands rom James Storm. Ray knees Storm in the ribs, and the former world champ is hurt. Ray goes to work with body shots on Storm, slowing the match down. Ray lifts Storm for a Suplex, but drops him ribs-first on the top rope. That’s steel inside that tube covered in tape! Bully Ray locks in a Camel Clutch that would make the Iron Sheik proud. Make him humble, Ray!

Ray goes with the old school heel shtick and rips off the tape. Thunderous slam by Ray on Storm in the center of the ring, and Bobby Roode makes his way out to watch.

[Commercial Break.]

We’re back, and it was all Bully Ray during the break. The Icon makes his way with a Cricket Bat! Nice touch. Ray has Storm locked into a side Bear Hug. We’re all about Star Wars next week, and thanks to the Star Wars 3D commercial we know why. Ray dedicates the last move to Sting, as Tenay reminds us that we haven’t seen Abyss since Ray dragged him away at Genesis. Hey, at least they remembered that Abyss was kidnapped, right Samoa Joe?

Ray still maintains control over Storm, hammering on his ribs at every opportunity. Ray grinds his knee into Storm’s back as we hit the ten minute mark. Roode teases a comeback as the crowd goes wild. This crowd is HOT! The crowd chants for Devon, who is likely back in North Carolina handing out with Jeff Hardy. Bully Ray takes exception to the chants, and takes out his frustration on Storm’s ribs. Vertical Suplex on Storm, and the world champ claps in approval. Ray goes up top, and the flying senton…MISSES! Sting riles the crowd, who didn’t need any help. They feed Storm, and he sends Bully Ray down with fists & clotheslines. Storm up top, High Cross Body Block gets two as we approach 13:00.

Bully Ray goes right back to work, connecting with a side slam that rocks Storm’s ribs. The crowd gets behind Storm with a “Let’s Go Cowboy,” and we have a ref bump! Bobby Roode heads in with his belt, but Sting and his Cricket Bat have something to say about it. Bully Ray looks for Roode’s help, but turns right into a Last Call Superkick!
Winner: James Storm (Last Call Superkick), 14:14, ***1/2

We see replays of Sting running Roode off and Storm’s superkick victory. Taz & Tenay plug Phase Two for next week, and we’re out!

DeMarco’s Knee Jerk Reaction
I can’t wait to write the Impact Wrestling 4R’s for this week. This was an outstanding episode of Impact Wrestling. Having a smaller crew really helped things. We got two three-and-a-half star matches and three three-star matches tonight. The show spanning Garett-Eric Bischoff sage was the low point of the card, and would have been much worse. This was a wrestling centered show that saw both of the company’s fastest rising stars (James Storm and World Champ Bobby Roode) go over, featured a really good tag team opener (in spite of the gimmick), a good Knockouts match, an awesome performance from Austin Aries, and a spectacular crowd! Video walls be damned, TNA hit a home run in my book.

Let’s Go Giants!

Don’t forget, Tony Acero presents The Low End Theory tonight in the music section!

Click here as Martin Casaus joins The Greg DeMarco Show!

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