411’s WWE Elimination Chamber Report 02.19.12

Welcome to 411’s WWE Elimination Chamber 2012 Report. For even more coverage, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter at @ScottSlimmer.

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In what has to be considered a surprise, it looks like the Raw Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Championship is going to open the show.

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Championship
CM Punk (Champion) vs. Kofi Kingston vs. R-Truth vs. Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
CM Punk and Kofi Kingston start the match with Truth, Jericho, Ziggler, and Miz locked in the surrounding pods. Punk whips Kingston to the ropes, but Kingston leapfrogs over the ropes and onto the steel. Kingston head back into the ring, and he and Punk trade nearfalls as Ziggler does pull-ups in his pod. Kingston hits Punk with a crossbody but only gets a two count. Kingston back body drops Punk over the ropes, but Punk lands on his feet on the steel. Punk tries to suplex Kingston over the rope, but Kingston reverses and catches Punk with a back suplex onto the steel. Kingston tries to catapult Punk into the chains, but Punk reverses and catapults Kingston into Miz’s pod. Punk rolls Kingston back into the ring, traps him in the corner, and stomps a mud hole in him. It’s time for the first pod to open, and the next man to enter the match is… DOLPH ZIGGLER! Ziggler storms out of his pod and pulls Punk out of the ring. Ziggler grinds Punk’s face into the chains and then hits him with a fireman’s carry takedown onto the steel. Ziggler grabs the chains and does leg raises on the wall of the chamber before dropping into a leg drop the drives Punk’s face into the steel once again. Ziggler rolls Punk into the ring and goes for the cover but only gets a two count. All three men get back to their feet, and Punk catches Ziggler with a scoop slam. Kingston hits Ziggler with a second scoop slam, and it looks like Punk and Kingston have formed an impromptu alliance. Ziggler charges Kingston in the corner, but Kingston gets his boot up and plants them in Ziggler’s face. Ziggler struggles back to his feet as Punk and Kingston position themselves outside the ropes. Punk and Kingston both go for springboard attacks on Ziggler from opposite sides of the ring, but Ziggler rolls out of the way causing Punk and Kingston to collide in mid-air. It’s time for the second pod to open, and the next man to enter the match is… R-TRUTH! Ziggler charges at Truth, but Truth hip tosses him over the ropes and onto the steel. Truth dives over the ropes and connect with a splash to Ziggler on the steel. Truth rolls Ziggler back into the ring and hits the scissors kick but only gets a two count. Truth heads to the corner, but Punk catches him with a running knee and a superplex for a two count of his own. Kingston goes for the Trouble in Paradise, but Punk ducks and then tosses Kingston out to the steel. Punk heads up to the top turnbuckle, connects with the Macho Man Elbow Drop to Truth, and gets the three count! CM PUNK ELMINATES R-TRUTH WITH THE MACHO MAN ELBOW DROP! Ziggler is out on the steel and Kingston springboards toward him, but Ziggler ducks so Kingston flies all the way to the chains and catches himself. Kingston comes off the chains, but Ziggler catches him in mid-air, but Kingston counters into a modified tornado DDT on the steel. It’s time for the third pod to open, and the next man to enter the match is… THE MIZ! Miz storms across the ring and suplexes Kingston on the steel. Miz heads back into the ring and tosses Ziggler over the ropes and onto the steel once again. Miz heads back to the steel and drives Kingston back-first into the ring post. Miz sets Kingston up on the top turnbuckle and Kingston gets a boot in Miz’s face, but Miz pushes Kingston backwards off the turnbuckle and down to the steel. Miz rolls Kingston back into the ring and goes for a cover but only gets a two count. Punk and Miz battle in the middle of the ring, but Miz takes control and wrenches Punk’s neck around the middle rope. Punk regains control with a neck breaker and whips Miz to the corner, but Miz counters with a boot the face. Miz charges Punk, but Punk catches him with a power slam. Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice in the middle of the ring, but it’s time for the final pod to open, and the final man to enter the match is… Chris Jericho! Jericho rushes the ring, and Punk releases his hold on Miz to do battle with Jericho. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Punk kicks him away. Punk goes for the Go-To-Sleep, but Jericho counters and connects with the Lionsault for a two count. Ziggler goes for a quick schoolboy pin on Jericho, but Jericho escapes and hits Ziggler with a Code Breaker for the three count. CHRIS JERICHO ELIMINATES DOLPH ZIGGLER WITH THE CODE BREAKER! Jericho returns his focus to Punk, but Punk slingshots him over the ropes and onto the steel. Punk follows Jericho to the steel and slams him repeatedly into one of the pods. Punk shoves Jericho into a pod and they battle in the pod, but Jericho eventually slams the pod door right on Punk’s shoulder. Kingston heads out to the steel and catches Jericho with the S.O.S. on the steel. Kingston heads back into the ring, and Miz sets him up on the top turnbuckle. Miz goes for a superplex, but Punk sneaks in an catches him with a powerbomb. KINGSTON HEADS UP TO THE TOP OF A POD AND CONNECTS WITH A CROSSBODY TO PUNK AND JERICHO! Everyone is down, but Jericho eventually gets to his feet, catches Kingston in the Walls of Jericho, and makes him tap! CHRIS JERICHO ELIMINATES KOFI KINGSTON WITH THE WALLS OF JERICHO! The referees open the cell door for Kingston, and Jericho throws Kingston out of the cell. Jericho turns around, but Punk catches him with a kick to the side of the head. The cell door had not yet been closed, so Jericho flies out of the cell and crashes into a camera man. All action stops as referees and officials check on Jericho. I assume this is all kayfabe, but everyone (including a very concerned-looking CM Punk) is doing a brilliant job of selling the situation. The officials determine that Jericho is unconscious and cannot continue. CHRIS JERICHO IS ELIMINATED DUE TO BEING UNABLE TO CONTINUE. Punk and Miz are the final two men in the match. Miz catches Punk with the Skull Crushing Finale, but Punk kicks out at two. Miz traps Punk in the corner and absolutely beats the hell out of him. Miz charges Punk in the corner, but Punk slides out of the way causing Miz to fly head-first into the pod. Punk pulls Miz back to the middle of the ring, hits the Go-To-Sleep, and gets the three count! CM PUNK ELIMINATES THE MIZ WITH THE GO-TO-SLEEP!
Match Result: CM Punk defeats the Miz with the Go-To-Sleep to win the match.
Match Length: 32:39

Punk leaves the cell and glares at the unconscious Chris Jericho as he makes his way up the ramp. Yep, this should set up Punk vs. Jericho at WrestleMania nicely.

We head to the back where Santino Marella is preparing for the Smackdown Elimination Chamber Match. He’s wearing his best Rocky sweats and downs three raw eggs. Seriously, the dude just drank three raw eggs. And then, or course, he spews all over the place.

We move on to a video package of John Cena’s gym where he trains with the WWE developmental talent. For most members of the IWC, the most memorable portion of the video will be the interview with Seth Rollins, TWFKA Tyler Black.

Divas Championship Match
Beth Phoenix (Champion) vs. Tamina Snuka
Michael Cole points out that Beth is wearing plaid wrestling gear in tribute to Rowdy Roddy Piper and his famous feud with Jimmy Snuka. Beth catches Tamina with a head butt, but Tamina no-sells it and drops Beth with a head butt of her own. Tamina begins to head to the top, but Beth knocks her off the ropes and down to the arena floor. Beth follows Tamina to the outside and repeatedly slams her head into the floor. Beth rolls back into the ring as the referee counts Tamina, but Tamina rolls back into the ring at 8. Beth goes right to work on Tamina and connects with a volley of elbows to the kidneys before going for a cover and getting a two count. Beth locks in a rear chin lock, but Tamina rights back to her feet. Beth shoves Tamina back down to the mat and locks in a Dragon Sleeper. When was the last time you saw that in a WWE Divas match? Tamina fights back to her feet, breaks the hold, and catches Beth with a Samoan Drop. Tamina heads up top once again, but Beth catches her this time as well. Beth heads up top and connects with a superplex. Tamina and Beth slug it out in the middle of the ring, but Tamina takes control with a double knife-edge chop to the neck. Tamina catches Beth with a splash in the corner and follows up with a super kick that levels Beth. Tamina heads up top for a third time, and this time she connects with the Superfly Splash… BUT ONLY FOR A TWO COUNT! Tamina can’t believe that Beth kicked out of the Superfly Splash. We get a “One More Time!” chant from the crowd, so Tamina heads up top yet again. Beth rolls out of the ring to avoid contact, so Tamina climbs down and rolls Beth back into the ring. Tamina looks to be in control, but Beth whips Tamina to the corner and catches her on the rebound with the Glam Slam for the three count.
Match Result: Beth Phoenix defeats Tamina Snuka with the Glam Slam.
Match Length: 7:14

We head to the back where Santino Marella is in a freezer boxing with a fifteen pound ham. Santino misses a punch and takes a shot to the face from the swinging ham, so he pulls out the Cobra and finishes the ham once and for all.

John Laurinaitis and David Otunga make their way down to the ring. Laurinaitis thinks that Teddy Long should be subject to the same scrutiny as he himself has been, and he thinks that Teddy has been doing a horrible job as the General Manager of Smackdown. The Mariachi Band kicks in… and ALBERTO DEL RIO IS HERE! The sheer fact that Del Rio is interrupting Laurinaitis gets him a decent face pop from the crowd. Del Rio says that Teddy Long holds grudges and is corrupt. He’s corrupt, and he’s good for nothing. We don’t need people like that in this business. And now, John Laurinaitis, Del Rio has a great idea. He thinks that Laurinaitis should be the permanent General Manager of both Raw and Smackdown. And there goes any good will he may have had with the fans. SOMEBODY GONNA GET THEIR ASS KICKED! SOMEBODY GONNA GET THEIR WIG SPLIT! As was the case with Del Rio, the sheer fact that Mark Henry is interrupting Laurinaitis and Del Rio gets him a decent face pop from the crowd. This man could become the biggest face in the business if he just destroyed everyone in the ring, but I think we all know that’s not about to happen. Henry says that Teddy Long is a bully, and two weeks ago Long assaulted Henry. And just like the good guy he is, Henry fell for it. He and Laurinaitis have never seen eye to eye, but Laurinaitis is a good guy. He’s never thrown his weight around, and he’s never abused his authority. Just like Del Rio, Henry thinks that Laurinaitis should be the permanent General Manager of both Raw and Smackdown. WAIT… WAIT… CHRISTIAN IS HERE! The crowd pops for Christian, as if they don’t see the pattern here. Just like Del Rio and Henry, Christian is here to ask the WWE Board of Directors to do the right thing and make Laurinaitis the permanent General Manager of both Raw and Smackdown. Otunga takes a picture of Laurinaitis, Del Rio, Henry, and Christian as the crowd erupts into a “Triple H! Triple H! Triple H” chant. I seriously hope Laurinaitis tweets that picture during the show.

Elimination Chamber Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Daniel Bryan (Champion) vs. The Big Show vs. The Great Khali vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett vs. Cody Rhodes
The Big Show and Wade Barrett start the match with Bryan, Marella, Khali, and Rhodes locked in the surrounding pods. Barrett connects with a kick to Big Show’s head, rolls him out to the steel, and continues to assault him on the steel. Barrett rolls Show back into the ring and goes to work on Show’s knee. Barrett stomps on Show’s knee and then twists it mercilessly, but Show kicks Barrett through the ropes and out onto the steel. Show grabs Barrett and suplexes him back into the ring. Show traps Barrett in the corner and drops him with a single chop to the chest. Show tosses Barrett over the ropes and out to the steel. Show steps on Barrett on the steel and then rolls him back into the ring. It’s time for the next first pod to open, and the next man to enter the match is… Cody Rhodes! Rhodes’ pod opens, but he has no interest in locking horns with Show. Rhodes tentatively climbs into the ring, and Show immediately drops him with a chop to the chest. Show effortlessly tosses Rhodes over the ropes and out onto the steel. Show heads out to the steel and bounces Barrett off the chains. Show charges Rhodes, but Rhodes dodges causing Show to slam into the chains. Rhodes heads up top, but Show catches him and throws him from the top turnbuckle into the chains. All three men slowly head back into the ring and gingerly climb back to their feet. Barrett and Rhodes hit the ropes and drop Show with the High / Low. Barrett turns on Rhodes and clotheslines him over the ropes and onto the steel. Barrett follows Rhodes out of the ring and repeatedly whips him into the chains. Barrett whips Rhodes back-first into the turnbuckle. It’s time for the second pod to open, and the next man to enter the match is… Santino Marella! Santino storms the ring and catches Barrett with a hip toss. Santino hits the ropes and connects with a head butt to Barrett. Show heads back into the ring, and Santino contemplates his fate. Santino grows a pair and punches Show, but Show throws Santino all the way across the ring and into the corner. Rhodes catches Show from behind with a chop block, but Show gets back to his feet and sends Rhodes out to the steel. Show tosses Barrett out to the steel and then stares at Daniel Bryan in his pod. Show heads out to the steel and sets up for a double choke slam to Barrett and Rhodes, but BARRETT AND RHODES COUNTER INTO A DOUBLE SUPLEX ON THE STEEL! That one had to have hurt the steel. Show is out cold, so Barrett and Rhodes try to pull him back into the ring. They can’t budge the giant, so Rhodes turns out Barrett. Rhodes heads up top and connects with a moonsault to Barrett for a two count. Rhodes drags Santino out to the steel and whips him into the chains. Rhodes slams Santino’s right arm (the Cobra arm) into the cage. It’s time for the third pod to open, and the next man to enter the match is… THE GREAT KHALI! Somewhere, alone in his mother’s basement, Jeff Small just marked hard. Khali takes out Santino, Rhodes, and Barrett, but Show hits the ropes and connects with a thunderous spear for the three count! THE BIG SHOW ELIMINATES THE GREAT KHALI WITH A SPEAR! Show heads over to Bryan’s pod and glares at him. Show climbs up top and tries to grab Bryan through the chains on top, but Bryan ducks. SHOW STARTS BREAKING THE CHAINS ON THE TOP OF BRYAN’S POD AND THEN CLIMBS INTO THE POD WITH HIM! Bryan is trapped in the pod with Show, and Show starts beating the living hell out of him. It’s finally time for the fourth pod to open, and that allows Bryan to escape his own personal hell. Show cleans house and hits Bryan with the Choke Slam, but Barrett connects with a big boot to Show’s skull before Show can cover Bryan. Not smart, Barrett. Not smart. Rhodes connects with the Beautiful Disaster to Show and follows up with a DDT. Barrett hits Show with an elbow from the top, and Rhodes makes the cover for the three count. CODY RHODES ELIMINATES THE BIG SHOW AFTER AND ELBOW DROP FROM WADE BARRETT! Santino catches Rhodes from behind with a quick roll-up pin and gets the three count! SANTINO MARELLA ELIMINATES CODY RHODES WITH A ROLL-UP PIN! Rhodes hits Santino with Cross Rhodes before leaving the cell and Barrett goes for the cover, but Santino kicks out at two. Barrett tosses Santino out onto the steel, ties him up in the chains, and goes to work with kicks to the gut and head. Santino is dangling from the chains and looks to be out. Barrett heads back into the ring and heads for Bryan. Bryan goes for a crucifix pin only gets a two count. Bryan goes for the LeBell Lock, but Barrett breaks the hold. Bryan takes Barrett up top and goes for a superplex, but Barrett escapes to the steel and knocks Bryan off the top with a clothesline. Barrett powerbombs Bryan into the chains and then chokes Bryan with a pod door. Barrett viscously slams the pod door on Bryan’s neck and rolls him back into the ring. Barrett goes for Wasteland on Santino, but Santino floats over and lands on his feet. Barrett levels Santino with a Big Boot and shoves him into the chains. Bryan heads up top and connects with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan bounces Barrett off the pods and heads up top, but Barrett knocks his legs out and crotches him on the top turnbuckle. Barrett grabs Bryan’s head and shoves it through the pod. Barrett goes for a top rope Wasteland, but Santino makes the save. Santino knocks Bryan down to the steel and goes for a superplex on Barrett, but Barrett shoves him down to the mat. Barrett goes for a diving elbow drop from the top, but Santino rolls out of the way. Bryan heads up top and connects with a diving head butt from the top, and Santino makes the cover for the three count! SANTINO MARELLA ELIMINATES WADE BARRETT AFTER A DIVING HEAD BUTT FROM DANIEL BRYAN! Bryan and Santino lock eyes in the middle of the ring. Santino catches Bryan with a Sambo throw, but Bryan fights back with a kick to the head for a two count. Bryan charges Santino in the corner, but Santino evades. Santino catches Bryan with a quick roll-up for a two count. Bryan goes for another diving head butt from the top, but Santino rolls out of the way. SANTINO CATCHES BRYAN WITH THE COBRA… BUT ONLY GETS A TWO COUNT! THE CROWD IS WHITE HOT RIGHT NOW! BRYAN LOCKS IN THE LEBELL LOCK… AND SANTINO HAS TO TAP!
Match Result: Daniel Bryan defeats Santino Marella with the LeBell Lock to win the match.
Match Length: 33:58

After the match, Sheamus charges into the cell and kills Bryan with Celtic Cross (i.e., the Kryptonite Krunch).

Hornswoggle is in the back eating cheese, and Natalya enters the room. Hilarity ensues. The whole mess ends with Teddy Long booking Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel in an impromptu United States Championship Match

United States Championship Match
Jack Swagger (Champion) w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Justin Gabriel w/ Hornswoggle
Swagger takes control and hits Gabriel with the Swagger Bomb in the corner. Gabriel tosses Swagger to the outside and goes to work with a volley of kicks against the ring apron. Gabriel rolls Swagger back into the ring, but Swagger catches him with a chop block to the kneecap. Gabriel is hobbled, so Swagger locks in the Ankle Lock and forces Gabriel to tap.
Match Result: Jack Swagger defeats Justin Gabriel with the Ankle Lock.
Match Length: 2:59

Ambulance Match
John Cena vs. Kane
Cena and Kane brawl in the middle of the ring and almost immediately spill to the outside. Cena beats Kane up the ramp and bounces him off the guard rail all along the way. Cena calls for the ambulance, but Kane catches him from behind while his back is turned. Kane heads for the ambulance and pulls out a stretcher, sending it flying right into Cena’s gut. Kane tries to push Cena into the ambulance, but Cena pulls out a backboard and slams in into Kane. Cena connects with a knee to Kane’s skull, but Kane regains control with an uppercut. Kane beats Cena back down the ramp, but Cena whips Kane into the steps at ringside. Cena rolls Kane into the ring and slides in behind him, but Kane again catches him with an uppercut. Kane whips Cena to the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a Big Boot. Kane pulls Cena toward the ring apron, but Cena kicks Kane to the guard rail. Kane slides back into the ring, traps Cena in the corner, and beats him down to the mat. Cena fights back to his feet, and we’ve got a slugfest in the middle of the ring. Cena hits the ropes and charges at Kane, but Kane hits him with a side slam. Kane heads up top and goes for a flying clothesline, but Cena catches him with a drop kick to the knee in mid-air. Cena hits a shoulder block and follows up with the Protobomb and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Kane counters into his modified face claw. Cena passes out, so Kane rolls him out of the ring and retrieves a wheelchair from under the ring. Kane sits Cena in the wheelchair and pushes him up the ramp, but Cena begins to regain consciousness. Kane re-applies the face claw, but Cena fights out and gets back to his feet. Cena beats Kane up to the stage and bounces Kane off the ambulance. Cena heads back to retrieve the wheelchair and slams it into Kane’s head. Cena sits Kane in the wheelchair and pushes him into a production table. That was probably supposed to look far more devastating than it actually did. Kane starts grabbing pieces of equipment and bouncing them off Cena’s skull. Cena borrows a chair from a fan, nails Kane in the back, and gives the chair back to the fan before shaking his hand. Cena and Kane brawl around the arena alongside more production tables. Kane levels Cena with a right hand, but Cena whips Kane over the guard rail and back to the ringside area. Cena grabs a microphone and drives it into Kane’s head. It’s a live mic, so he asks Booker T if that will get him a spot in the Fave Five. Cena sets up the Spanish announce table before picking up the ringside steps and damn near decapitating Kane with them. Cena puts the lower section of the steps in front of the Spanish announce table and asks the camera if we want to have some fun. Cena again bounces the upper section of the steps of Kane’s head and then sets them on top of the lower section in front of the Spanish announce table. Cena lifts Kane onto his shoulders and walks up the steps, BUT KANE COUNTERS AND CHOKE SLAMS CENA THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! Cena is out at ringside, so Kane heads up to the stage and retrieves the stretcher. Kane rolls it back to ringside and lifts Cena onto it. Kane drags the stretcher back up the ramp and toward the ambulance. Kane puts Cena in the ambulance, but Cena kicks the door back in Kane’s face. Cena emerges from the ambulance and whips Kane into the side of the ambulance. Cena climbs up on top of the ambulance and taunts Kane into following him. Cena and Kane slug it out on top of the ambulance. Kane goes for a choke slam, BUT CENA COUNTERS INTO AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT OFF THE TOP OF THE AMBULANCE! Cena scrapes Kane off the ground, tosses him in the ambulance, and closes the doors to pick up the win.
Match Result: John Cena defeats Kane after an Attitude Adjustment off the top of the ambulance.
Match Length: 21:22

Cena heads back to the ring and the referee raises his hand in victory. Cena stands in the middle of the ring and points to the WrestleMania XXVIII sign above him.