wrestling / TV Reports

Views from the Hawke’s Nest: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

April 30, 2012 | Posted by TJ Hawke

April 29, 2012
Chicago, Illinois

Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T

The show started with a great hype video of Brock and Cena talking trash. More of this on TV please.

Nice, a Colt Cabana sign. Boo, Kane’s pyro starts the show.

Kane vs. Randy Orton [Extreme Falls Count Anywhere Match]
This feud sucks. I hope we get Orton going over clean in a relatively quick match. We get highlights of Kane attacking “Cowboy” Bob Orton, and then footage of Orton attacking Paul Bearer. So, I guess that means Paul Bearer is Kane’s father again. I feel like that bit of mythology has been messed with too much for any of us to really care. If you disagree, feel free to leave a comment.

Kane punches Orton to the floor early. That actually was a nearfall, which may have just been a way to remind us that pins can happen anywhere. Kane pulls out a lead pipe, but Orton attacks him. Orton uses the pipe on Kane. They end up in the crowd pretty quick, and some woman was screaming her head off. The fans were pretty into the crowd brawling. Orton hit a running knee for a nearfall. Kane then hit a powerslam for a nearfall. Orton got to his feet, and we were treated to more crowd brawling. They ended up on the entrance stage. Orton hit a standing dropkick: 1…2…NO! Kane avoided a RKO and hit a big boot. They went backstage, which may kill the crowd (that was surprisingly into this match). They traded some punches. Zack Ryder came out of nowhere to attack Kane, but Kane fended him off. The interference allowed Orton hit his backbreaker: 1…2…NO! Ryder then crawled away, so apparently at the first hint of resistance from Kane, he decided to run away. Worst babyface ever. More brawling from Kane and Orton. Kane threw a cart of some sort at Orton: 1…2…NO! They went back to the entrance ramp and the crowd woke up. More punches. We get some “YES” chants. Orton rolls Kane back in the ring. Orton hit a lariat and a snap powerslam. Orton slithered out of the ring and got a steel chair. Orton smacked Kane in the back repeatedly with the chair. “YES” chants for every chairshot. They spilled to the floor, and Orton pulled apart the English commentator table. GOOZLE! Orton placed Kane on the exposed table and hit an elevated DDT onto the floor! Cool Spot (that should be a finish): 1…2…NO! Kane avoided a RKO and sent Orton into a ringpost: 1…2…NO! Kane rolled Orton back in the ring. Kane set up for the diving clothesline, but Orton crotched him. SUPERPLEX: 1…2…NO! Orton called for the RKO, but Kane blocked it. CHOKESLAM: 1…2…NO! Great nearfall. The crowd totally bought that one. Kane set up a chair and called for the tombstone. Orton escaped and hit the RKO on the chair: 1…2…3! Nice finish.

Holy shit this was way better than anyone could have reasonably expected. The only real bad part was when they went backstage, which killed the crowd and made Zack Ryder look like a goofball again. As expected, these two worked really hard, but the difference was that they were able to get the crowd into their battle. To say this was an improvement over their Wrestlemania match would be a big understatement.
Match Rating: **3/4

Johnny Ace is backstage with Eve. Eve brings out Teddy Long (with a nametag) who has some champagne. Ace takes a call from Triple H.

Brodus Clay (Hornswoggle) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w. Vickie Guerrero & Jack Swagger) [Extreme Singles Match]
SOMEBODY CALL MY MAMA! Ew, why is Hornswoggle with Brodus Clay. This is either going to be a big test for Brodus or really indicative of how the WWE feels about Ziggler.

The Chicago crowd is strongly behind Ziggler. Swagger distracted Clay, and Dolph dropkicked him to the floor. Swagger shoulder tackled Clay on the floor as Dolph posed in the ring. I didn’t see a handstand though so that makes me sad. Clay crawled back in the ring. Dolph avoided a running knee and hit a fameasser: 1…2…NO! Dolph locked in a sleeper. Clay stood up with Dolph still on his back. Dolph tried for a suplex and but Clay gave him a gordbuster and a couple of lariats. Swagger hopped up on the apron, but Clay knocked him down. Dolph went for a jumping move, but Clay gave him a big headbutt: 1…2…3………lame.

Normally, this booking would indicate that the company is down on Dolph, but would anybody be shocked if he won the US title tomorrow night? I don’t know what the plan for Brodus is, but they had to know that the Chicago crowd would like Dolph more, right? I will say this: some WWE squashes feel like they are about the making the guy who loses into a goof, but this at least felt designed to make Brodus look good. WWE wanted Brodus Clay to look as good in this match is possible and they counted on Dolph to be the person to do that. It’s just not Dolph’s time right now.
Match Rating: *

The Big Show© vs. Cody Rhodes [Extreme Intercontinental Title/Tables Match]
Big Show does absolutely nothing for the Intercontinental Title. He needs to drop it quickly to a rising star. I don’t really care if Cody is the one he drops it to.

Show dominated Cody right away and the crowd immediately got behind Cody. Chicago is fun for wrestling. After a little brawling around ringside, Show brought a table into the ring. Show set up the table in the corner. Cody actually ran up that table and hit a Beautiful Disaster. That was a great spot. Show recovered and delivered a big shoulder tackle. Show brought another table in the ring. Show was on the apron (right in front of a table), and Cody kicked out his leg. That leg went through a table on the outside, and thus, make Cody the winner. Show was not damaged at all. Horrible finish, but I guess it’s a means to an end.

Cody was celebrating until Show speared him out of his boots. Show set up a table in the ring and then chokeslammed Cody through the table. The crowd was 50/50 on this. Show picked up Cody and threw him through another table to the outside.

This is one of those results that makes the babyface look stupid, with just making Cody look lucky. What is this? A TNA PPV main event? Needless to say, this could have gone down much, much better.
Match Rating: ¾*

Matt Striker was backstage with Daniel Bryan. Bryan lists all the reasons he is better than Sheamus. He then makes fun of the Chicago crowd in a token effort to get him to turn on him. He then does the “YES YES YES YES,” which makes the crowd forget about that crack at Chicago. AJ Lee is seen stalking Bryan. Sweet jeebus, I hope that is just a red herring.

Sheamus© vs. Daniel Bryan [Extreme Two out of Three Falls Match/World Heavyweight Title]
The crowd is very pro-Bryan. Sheamus was wearing a shirt that said, “18 Seconds,” which will probably just make the crowd hate him more.

Sheamus teased a Brogue Kick early, but Bryan avoided it. Sheamus hit a Finlay Roll early: 1…2…NO! Sheamus got a Texas Cloverleaf, but Bryan managed to crawl to the ropes. Bryan got a small package for a nearfall. Sheamus cut him off with a lariat. Bryan came back with a running lariat. Bryan sent Sheamus to the floor. Bryan went for a running knee, but Sheamus caught him and gave him a spinebuster onto the guardrail. Back in the ring, Sheamus went to the top rope, but Bryan crotched him. Bryan started to work Sheamus over, with different submissions, strikes, and pinning combinations. Bryan is one of the best small guys in history at making himself look credible against much bigger opponents. Sheamus came back with a lariat and a big running knee. Sheamus followed that up with his clubbing forearms in the ropes and a fallaway slam: 1…2…NO! Bryan rolled him up for another nearfall. Bryan went for a super hurricanrana, but Sheamus avoided it. Sheamus then hit a diving shoulder tackle: 1…2…NO! Bryan low-bridged Sheamus to the floor. Bryan went for a suicide dive, but Sheamus blocked it. Sheamus went for the Razor’s Edge, but Bryan got a sunset flip pin: 1…2…NO! Sheamus avoided three Yes Lock attempts. Sheamus crashed into the ringpost, shoulder first. Bryan sent Sheamus back into that turnbuckle a couple of more times, hurting the injured shoulder. Back in the ring, Bryan kicked Sheamus in the shoulder, shouting YES with each kick. The referee counted to five and Bryan got disqualified for being an idiot. Apparently, Bryan got himself disqualified on purpose to do one more second of damage to Sheamus’s injured shoulder. Sheamus is up 1 fall to zero. IED Kick in the corner—YES LOCK! Sheamus passed out from the pain, so Bryan won the second fall to make things even. The ringside doctor checked on Sheamus as Bryan lead the crowd in “Yes” chants. Some idiots chanted “No.” This atmosphere was surreal. The doctors asked Sheamus if he wanted to continue and he said yes. The third fall started and Bryan immediately ran into a big boot: 1…2…NO! Sheamus was on his knees trading shots with Bryan until Bryan hit a buzzsaw kick: 1…2…NO! Bryan went to the top rope, but Sheamus met him up there. Bryan headbutted him down and went for the diving headbutt, but Sheamus avoided it. Sheamus avoided another IED kick and hit a pair of Polish Hammers. Sheamus followed it up with the urinagi backbreaker. Sheamus killed him with the Brogue Kick: 1…2…3!

I thought this match was arguably the best singles match in either man’s WWE career. The environment didn’t really make sense from what was supposed to be the face/heel dynamic, but the crowd was into everything they did. As much as I liked the match, I think the finish left a little bit to be desired. It was a little too “Super Cena” where Sheamus shook off several minutes of damage just to run through his offense and win the match. The finishing sequence really should have been more back and forth.
Match Rating: ****

Ryback vs. Aaron Relic & Jay Hatton [Extreme Handicap Match]
The jobbers cut a promo before the match. They weren’t as good as Justin Mane. They tried to be annoying as possible in order to make the crowd happy that they were about to watch Ryback squash them. The Chicago crowd actually chanted “Goldberg,” which made me chuckle. Ryback killed one of them with a backpack chinbreaker. He killed the other with a torture-rack/Samoan Drop move. He pinned them both.

Ryback’s “terminator” character feels forced, but some of his moves get over with the crowd. A snarky Chicago crowd may not have been the best place for this squash to happen though.
Match Rating: SQUASH

CM Punk cuts a promo on Chris Jericho. He says Jericho is going to wake up with a hangover after he puts him to sleep.

CM Punk© vs. Chris Jericho [Extreme WWE Championship/Chicago Street Fight]
I don’t know how I feel about this feud to be honest. Their match at Mania was damn good, but the TV stuff hasn’t really made me more invested in anything. The crowd is obviously very much behind Punk tonight though, and this environment should be awesome.

Both men were in their jeans. Lots of brawling to start the match. Punk threw some chairs in the ring and pulled out a Singapore cane. Punk attacked Jericho’s back with the cane, which actually drew “ECW” chants. More Singapore cane usage from Punk. Jericho hid behind the referee, so that he could poke Punk in the eyes. Punk ended up on the apron, where Jericho delivered a Silverking dropkick. They started to brawl around the ringside area. Back in the ring, Jericho undid a turnbuckle cover. Punk went for a running knee, but Jericho avoided it and Punk crashed to the floor. Jericho beat down Punk right in front of his family, as they cheered him on. Jericho berated his sister, until Punk’s sister slapped him. Jericho went after the sister, and Punk snapped. Punk pulled off the commentator table hood, and sent Jericho through the hood. Jericho backdropped Punk onto the floor. Jericho hit Punk in the back with a monitor and the broken announce table hood. Back in the ring, Punk slowed Jericho’s momentum with a back suplex. Punk slipped on a springboard attempt, and Jericho started smacking him with a Singapore Cane. Punk got a small package out of nowhere: 1…2…NO! Punk grabbed the Singapore cane, but Jericho cut him off with an enzugiri. Jericho pulled out a can of beer and poured it on Punk. Jericho pulled out another beer and started drinking it, which allowed Punk to come back with more Singapore cane shots and swinging neckbreaker. Punk followed it up with the running high knee/bulldog. Punk hit Jericho low with the Singapore cane and signaled for the Go-2-Sleep. Jericho escaped and went for the Walls of Jericho. Punk escaped and hit a snap powerslam: 1…2…NO! Punk went for the diving elbow, but Jericho crotched him. Punk delivered some big strikes though and then managed to hit the Savage Elbow: 1…2…NO! Jericho escaped another Go-2-Sleep attempt and Punk blocked a Lionsault. Jericho escaped another Go-2-Sleep. Jericho sent Punk into a steel chair, face first and rolled him up: 1…2…NO! Punk stumbled to his feet, but then walked into a Codebreaker. Jericho then locked in the Liontamer! Jericho transitioned into a Walls of Jericho. Punk made the ropes, but it’s a street fight. Punk grabbed a fire extinguisher without Jericho knowing. Punk sprayed Jericho! Jericho was wiping his eyes on the referee’s shirt. Punk hit him in the gut twice with the extinguisher. On the floor, Punk gave him a high kick, which sent Jericho onto the Spanish announce table. Punk went to the top rope, and stumbled a bit. PUNK THEN HIT A DIVING ELBOW! That was a long jump. Punk slowly got Jericho back in the ring: 1…2…NO! ANACONDA VICE! Jericho got his hand on the Singapore cane and broke it over Punk’s head. Punk grabbed the chair, but walked into a chair Codebreaker: 1…2…NO!!! This match has been amazing. Jericho went for a Go-2-Sleep, but Punk countered and sent Jericho into the turnbuckle! GO-2-SLEEP: 1…2…3!!!

This match was absolutely fantastic, and I couldn’t be happier that the WWE put Punk over strong in a Chicago PPV (again). Punk is a god to these people, and at this rate, he will be a draw in the area for years to come. While the TV segments for this feud have not set my world on fire, they still managed to deliver top-notch performances in their two PPV matches. This is one of those matches that you should go out of your way to see.
Match Rating: ****1/2

Eve told Beth Phoenix that she was not medically cleared to wrestle. The Bella Twins were ready to go home, but Eve informed Nikki that she had to defend the title against a surprise opponent. The Bellas were scared, but Eve promised it wasn’t Kharma.

Nikki Bella© (w/ Brie Bella) vs. Layla [Extremes Divas Championship Match]
I really wonder if the dirt sheets are constantly wrong, or if the WWE changes plans to discredit the sheets. Either way, the dirt sheets should just stop reporting on creative plans. Unless the creative plans suck.

The crowd did not care that Layla was the surprise. 1.) They probably wanted Kharma. 2.) Layla used Michelle McCool’s music. Brie interfered a couple of times. Layla hit a spinning sole butt that sent Nikki to the outside. Brie then went in, pretending to be her sister. Layla promptly hit a neckbreaker: 1…2…3.

They worked hard, but this was a can full of meh. Seems like an easy place for a Dusty finish tomorrow on Raw.
Match Rating: ¼*

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena [Extreme Rules Match]
Michael Cole mentioned Brock winning the UFC Heavyweight Title. Brock’s MMA gear doesn’t really go with boots, but that is the smallest of nitpicks. Brock did not get the monster reaction I expected. Cena’s reaction was more 50/50, but it was also much louder.

This is surreal. Cena charges, but Brock immediately takes him down. Cena escapes, but Brock takes him down with a lariat. Cena’s head was BUSTED OPEN. Brock was killing him, so Charles Robinson pulled Brock off so they could stop the bleeding…in an Extreme Rules match. This is absurd. It’s on PPV. Let the guy the bleed. Cena charged at him again, but Brock took him right down again and was doing ground and pound. Robinson was inexplicably trying pull off Brock again. Brock kicked him out of the ring. Cena is still bleeding, so the referee paused the match again. Absolutely absurd. Cena blocked a charging Brock and went for a FU. Brock escaped and hit a pair of German suplexes. Cena hit a running shoulder tackle that caused Brock to send Charles Robinson to the floor. That was the most natural looking ref bump I have ever seen. Perfectly shot by the camera and perfectly executed by everyone involved. Brock got an armbar. Cena fell to the floor again, as Brock just walked around the ring looking like the toughest guy in the world. On the floor, Brock used the armbar again. Brock rolled Cena back in the ring and then grabbed Cena’s chain. Brock tied Cena’s feet together with the chain. Cena got to his feet, and Brock then killed him with a lariat. Brock hung Cena up by the ringpost. Brock then went after Cena’s arm again. On the floor, Cena came back, but Brock just sent him shoulder first into the steel chairs. Brock picked up Charles Robinson with one hand and just tossed him into the ring. Cena crawled into the ring, and he tried to get the chain, but Brock just stepped on it. Cena went for a FU, but Brock escaped and hit a F5! It took out Charles Robinson again though. That ref bump was much lamer than the first one. Another referee ran in: 1…2…NO! Brock just killed that referee in retaliation. Brock brought in the bottom half of a steel steps. Cena came back with punches, but Brock got a Kimura variation with a body scissors! Cena’s head was still bleeding. CENA PICKED HIM UP AND SLAMMED HIM ON THE STEEL STEPS! Brock was laid out on the steps and Cena went to the top rope. Cena went for the legdrop, but Brock avoided it. Cena rolled to the floor. Cena stood on the apron. Brock ran and jumped off the steel steps with an elbow on Cena. Brock overshot his target, crashed to the floor and sold his knee. A replay showed Brock thankfully did not blow out his knee and just landed hard on one leg. Brock bounced up and celebrated his awesomeness. Brock went for that running attack one more time, but Cena hit him with the steel chain! AWESOME! Brock got busted open. Wow, Cena is going to win. Cena hit the FU on the steel steps: 1…2…3!

Crazy match that I loved until the (literal) last second where Cena won. I’ll discuss the finish first, which seems to be drawing the most passionate response based on social media, commenters, etc. Yes, the finish was really fucking stupid. There is no creative or financial justification for having Brock Lesnar lose this match. After a main event that made clear he was not just another guy, Cena made a comeback and pinned him clean. This is very, very silly, and the WWE potentially threw away a lot of money tonight. I will say though that I realized about half-way through that Cena was winning this thing, and as soon as he used the chain, it was all too obvious. This annoyed me, but I was much more prepared for it compared to most people.

With that out of the way, let me suck off this match some. If I were to lazily describe this match in one word, it would be ‘surreal.’ I couldn’t believe I was watching John Cena and Brock Lesnar wrestle each other. I couldn’t believe how much Cena bled. I couldn’t believe that the WWE gave up trying to stop Cena from bleeding. I can’t believe how much Cena sold for Brock. I can’t believe the WWE let someone mutilate their franchise player for what, 20 minutes? This match was in no way the “typical WWE main event” (which is usually both a good and a bad thing). (And yes, I couldn’t believe the finish either.)

This match was as physical as anything the WWE has ever done. The match was as engaging as Undertaker’s last four Wrestlemania matches and as CM Punk vs. Cena at Money in the Bank. This match is arguably my favorite match of the year with very few matches being comparable.
Match Rating: ****1/2

Cena cuts a promo after the show was seemingly supposed to end. It was as genuine as Cena has ever come off in the last six years. He seemed to tip WWE’s plans for taking him off television after tomorrow. My guess is that Brock murders Cena to close Raw, and Cena comes back later to set up the rematch.

The 411: I’m glad I reached the point where the WWE booking no longer prevents me from enjoying the great shows/matches they occasionally produce. While there were a number of booking decisions that were baffling and defy logic, WWE managed to produce one of their best PPVs in the last year. The immediate comparison that comes to mind is the Money in the Bank PPV from 2011 (that also took place in Chicago). The main trio of matches that everyone was looking forward to absolutely delivered, and they delivered big. Daniel Bryan and Sheamus finally got to have the PPV match that we all knew they have been capable of having for a year. Jericho and Punk delivered an epic brawl that solidified Punk as a top player in the WWE, while also continuing his WWE Championship reign (which is getting better and better every month). Finally, Cena and Brock put on a performance the likes of which I feel confident in saying the WWE has never really put on before.

Recommendation: If you (understandably) can’t afford to buy this replay, watch the three main matches any way that you can. This is one of my favorite shows of the year.

Thanks everybody for reading! You can send feedback to Twitter or at my email address: [email protected]

PLUGS!

My Favorite Matches in 2012 So Far

I am now the editor of a brand new wrestling website, FreeProWrestling.com . What is this site, you ask? It’s a website that posts a free wrestling match every single weekday. All matches are legally provided by the promotions that originally put them on. Occasionally, we are lucky enough to have the wrestlers of the matches exclusively discuss the matches retrospectively. So far, we’ve been lucky to have thoughts from Eddie Kingston , Prince Devitt , Sugar Dunkerton , AR Fox , and more! If you like wrestling and you hate spending money, I think you will enjoy it!

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TJ Hawke

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