411’s WWE Superstars Report 12.09.12

Commentators: Matt Striker & Scott Stanford

Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Big Show… Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston… United States Champion: Antonio Cesaro… Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No… NXT Champion: Seth Rollins… Diva’s Champion: Eve Torres

Zack Ryder vs. Tensai:   Tensai continues to free-fall down the card. They lock up and Tensai powers him into the corner and pummels him there. The ref tries to keep the big guy back but he is relentless, hitting a short clothesline. Ryder tries to fight back with a dropkick but it’s no-sold. Tensai continues the onslaught so Ryder Cactus Clothesline’s him to the floor. Tensai is none too pleased here as he heads back into the ring; Ryder gets a few punches in before getting freight trained by a shoulderblock. Tensai hits a clothesline and drops an elbow immediately following; Ryder barely had time to bounce off the mat on his landing from the clothesline before Tensai was dropping on him. He hits a head-butt and drops more elbows, for two. He locks up a chinlock and maintains it as the fans fall asleep. Tensai releases of his own volition, head-butts and drops knees a little, and then applies a neck crank. After commercial, Tensai nails hits a flapjack like move. He entangles Ryder’s arm in the ropes and then moves onto a kneeling armbar. God this is painful, all rest holds. If there is any doubt that Tensai’s motivation and workrate have suffered due to his sliding down the card, I present this match as proof. Ryder counters a charge in the corner with an elbow but Tensai comes right back with an uppercut. Tensai tries a suplex but Ryder slips free and hits some lunging shoulderblocks. He gets the big guy off his feet. Ryder tries the double-knees in the corner but Tensai blocks and pulls him to the mat. Tensai tries a Vader Bomb but Ryder gets his feet up. He charges in the corner but Ryder dropkicks his knees out and sets up the Broski Boot. Tensai counters that too, backdropping Ryder onto the apron; he hangs Tensai off the top ropes, positioning him in the 619 spot, and hits the Broski Boot along the apron. Innovative. He hits the second-rope missile dropkick and gets only two. Ryder flashes the “LI” symbol but Tensai turns the Rough Ryder into the Baldo Bomb. The running senton ends the match. 2/10 Boring match with a hot ending; the last minute of this match was entertaining, where Zack took over on O, which shows you something about these two superstars. The ending cannot make up for the first seven minutes of non-action.

Here is your winner… Tensai @ about 8:10 (broadcast) via senton splash pinfall.

Raw Recap of the entire pre-lie detector promo with CM Punk lie detector segment with The Miz is shown. After that we move onto the John Cena/Sheamus versus Dolph Ziggler/Big Show match and storylines. For my full Raw review, click here.

“Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay (w/Cameron & Naomi) vs. David Otunga:   Hornswoggle comes out to be the guest timekeeper, Natalya comes out to be the special announcer, and the Great Khali comes out to be the special referee… for some indiscernible reason. I don’t believe he’s feuding with Otunga unless I missed something. This match could conceivably go on forever because it will take Khali about thirty seconds to get down to count a pinfall. They lock up and Clay tosses Otunga into the corner; Khali asks for a break and Clay is a bit perplexed. Khali points to the referee shirt. Where’d they get a referee shirt that big anyway? Otunga seizes the opportunity and kicks away. The advantage does not last long as Brodus takes over with a knee, hits a reverse elbow in the corner, a belly-to-belly suplex, and then drops an elbow. At least Scott Stanford brings the history up here, where Otunga injured Clay’s ankle back at the No Way Out PPV, so this isn’t totally pointless. Now we pack a little more lower-midcard storyline into this match, as Rosa Mendes marches out with flowers for Hornswoggle; she beats the little guy up with them so Nattie comes to his aid. The divas catfight on the floor as Otunga gets tossed to the floor as well. Hornswoggle enjoys the fight on the floor as do Khali and Clay; Otunga uses the opportunity to attack Clay from behind. He sledges away but makes the mistake of flexing to the crowd. Clay begins a comeback with clotheslines and the Funky Avalanche; the My Bad Suplex sets up a phone call to Clay’s momma and the Splat. Khali counts the three FROM HIS FEET thus verifying my theory that he could not get to his knees to count the pinfall. Post-match, the Oddities 2012 dance with little kids. 5.5/10 The match was a backdrop to the other fifty things going on during this match. Rarely do we get any storylines advancing on Superstars, so I’ll take that when I can get it. Superstars is a place where these lower-midcard stories can develop. Kudos to the WWE for trying to make a normally mundane squash match fun.

Here is your winner… Brodus Clay @ about 6:10 via Splat pinfall.

The show concludes with the ENTIRE lie detector segment with CM Punk, Ryback, Team Hell No, and The Shield to close.

OVERALL 4/10 Better than last week; the Ryder/Tensai affair was painful but the Clay/Otunga fiasco was much more fun and entertaining. Still not where this show used to be but much more enjoyable this week.

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