411’s WWE Main Event Report 12.26.12

WWE Main Event Report

Welcome to this week’s WWE Main Event report!

Yes, it’s me, Greg DeMarco! I know you’re not used to seeing me in this capacity. But hey, I can do it all!

(And no one else was available…)

So yeah. I know it’s a busy week for everyone, and this might sound crazy. But WWE Main Event was on tonight, so recap maybe?

Anyways…

We open the show as we’re completing the ring entrances. Here come Primo & Epico! We welcome Antonio Cesaro to the commentary table, followed by Team Rhodes Scholars, Wade Barrett, Santino, and The Great Khali. Surprised for no Zack Ryder and no Brodus Clay (entrances, at least—they’re in the actual match).

Over-The-Top-Rope Battle Royal for a Unites States Championship Match
So battle royals are really THE hardest thing to follow, and a lot of the action is (dare I say) pointless. Not to say it’s not without reason, but it’s a lot of kicking and punching, with some shoving near the ropes. We did get out first elimination at 0:07, as Khali dumps Yoshi Tatsu. Oh, how the mighty have fallen—Yoshi won the WrestleMania 26 pre-show Battle Royal back in 2010. During the first four minutes we also saw the elimination of Primo and all four members of our tag team match that’ll take place later in the show.

First segment eliminations:
0:07 – Yoshi Tatsu
0:49 – Primo
4:08-4:12 – Drew McIntyre, Tyson Kidd, Jinder Mahal and Justin Gabriel (rapid fire eliminations)

Back from break and it doesn’t appear that we had any eliminations during our commercials. That’s good time management!

During the next three minutes we had five eliminations—bookended by each Uso. Santino narrowly escaped elimination, which he does several times during this battle royal. William Regal is eliminated during this segment, depriving us of what would be an awesome match for next week. And Brodus Clay had a surprising elimination. Surprising because people cheered when it happened!

Second segment eliminations:
7:44 – Jey (?) Uso
8:23 – William Regal, sadly
9:20 – Epico
9:52 – Brodus Clay
11:05 – Jimmy (?) Uso

Back for segment three of this match as Khali is about to go on a tear. He eliminates four men—The Prime Time Players and Team Rhodes Scholars. Thus, most of the tag team division is now officially eliminated. Seriously, twelve of our first fifteen eliminations are tag team wrestlers.

After their eliminations, we’re down to our final four. Which means I missed one elimination, or one happened during a break. I’m going with me missing one.

Your final four are Santino Marella, Zack Ryder, Wade Barrett and The Great Khali. Three of these guys could—at the very least—have an entertaining match with Antonio Cesaro next week, and each story could be built nicely. Or Khali could win. Either way!

In the final four, Santino & Ryder got some offense in, before Santino actually eliminates his partner from the match! First Cena, NOW SANTINO?!?! Poor Zack can’t buy a break.

You know this win could do a lot for Wade Barrett. The two men battled to the ropes, and Barrett went over the top but held off elimination. This was a momentarily condition, as Khali nailed a big chop that sent the former bare knuckle fighter to the floor.

Third segment eliminations:
15:59 – 16:07 – The Primetime Players and Team Rhodes Scholars
17:20 – 17:24 – Zack Ryder and Santino Marella
18:47 – Wade Barrett

Winner: The Great Khali in 18:47

Thus, we get Antonio Cesaro vs. The Great Khali for Cesaro’s United States Championship next week. Hopefully this merely an excuse to create another Neutralizer for Cesaro. Despite Khali being a former World Heavyweight Champion (and that was back in 2007), there’s not a ton of value in this match otherwise.

Post battle royal, Cesaro entered the ring and shook Khali’s hand, leaving without incident.

Yet.

After commercial, we get a backstage interview with The Great Khali. Antonio Cesaro quickly attacks, but it doesn’t end well for the champ as he takes a big chop to the chest. Khali wishes him a Happy New Year and promises to see him (and us, presumably) next week.

Next up we have a Raw Rebound, focusing on Alberto Del Rio’s feud with Santa Claus. Hey, Raw was basically a standalone show this week.

3MB makes their entrance in a match that was set up early in the battle royal. Well, at least the set-up was there, but the promotional aspect of it wasn’t. Heath Slater isn’t wrestling, by the way. Instead he’s pulling off the Ballard look.

Bonus points to the first commenter who gets that reference.

We return from commercial with highlights of MizTV. Not from Smackdown, mind you, but from Tribute To The Troops. No need to focus on storyline advancement when you can have Muppets!

3MB of Jinder Mahal & Drew McIntyre vs. Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel
Here we have a nice change of pace following the battle royal. A nice 15 minute tag team match that saw some great psychology, especially when Tyson Kidd was playing Ricky Morton. I did see two production “huh” moments as we spent several minutes building heat for Kidd’s hot tag, only to be in split screen replay mode when he actually tags Gabriel.

Also, we were focused on Heath Ballard Slater on the outside when Gabriel jumps into a beautiful springboard moonsault. When we saw it, the springboard portion was already done.

The finish came when Gabriel and Kidd nailed a lifted blockbuster on Mahal, allowing Kidd to get the pin.

Winners: Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel in 15:10

Summary:
Despite the quality of the battle royal, this still felt like a bigger deal than it would have on Raw or Smackdown. Which is the point of WWE Main Event. That said, it was one of the worse editions. You can’t blame them for trying—especially on a holiday week. I would have preferred some highlights of battle royals from the old days, including Andre’s WrestleMania 2 win. It would have been a nice parallel to The Great Khali’s win. Of course that would make more people realize that Khali has been booked all wrong, all along.

In total, we had 34 minutes of wrestling. Can’t really complain about that.

And now, some exclusive footage of The Great Khali’s post-battle royal win meal…

That’s one hungry man!