411’s WWE Main Event Report 2.06.13

What’s up guys? It’s Michael Benjamin with another Main Event recap. As always, let’s get right to the wrestling.

WWE Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: The Rock
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
US Champion: Antonio Cesaro
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlynn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Daniel Bryan and Kane

WWE MAIN EVENT 2.06.13

PYRO~!

– Cole and JBL welcome us to the show. Cole says that there is no time table on Vince McMahon’s return.

– Cody Rhodes makes his way to the ring and says that this show is a complete farce and needs to be shut down. The Elimination Chamber is too. Cody says that his match isn’t happening until the biggest situation in the WWE is addressed. He sit down protests until Booker T gives him a spot in the chamber. Michael Cole says that Booker T isn’t here. Cody suggests that somebody email him. Here comes Sheamus. Cody does an impression of Sheamus and Sheamus says it sucks. Cody says that unless his name is Booker T, he wants nothing to do with it. Sheamus does a pretty bad Booker T impression. Sheamus tries an awful Vickie impression next. This segment is REALLY dragging. Ten minutes to get to a singles match that’s already booked? Yeesh. Sheamus does a Vince McMahon impression before Cody attacks him. Sheamus throws him to the outside as we head to break. That was a pretty bad opening segment. The Cody/Booker stuff still leaves me hopeful for a Rhodes Scholars/Bookdust match despite both teams being defunct now.

~commercial time~

Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus
They circle to start us off. Cody whips Sheamus into the ropes and gets hit with a shoulder block. He makes it to his feet and works Sheamus into a side headlock. Sheamus tries powering out but gets snapmared back into the side headlock. Sheamus fights out again and this time hits a few shoulder blocks before Cody rolls to the outside for a breather. Cody back in and Sheamus is on him. Daniel Bryan, Kane, and Swagger are officially in the Chamber according to Cole. Sheamus ducks a clothesline and hits a nice backbreaker for two. Sheamus gives Cody a strong Irish Whip into the corner. Sheamus picks up Cody and thros him to the outside. Cody skins the cat and flaunts. He turns around and there’s Sheamus! Sheamus throws Cody back to the outside and GIVES HIM THE CLUBBERING! He elbow blocks him off of the apron and follows him out. Cody fights back and slams Sheamus face first on the ring apron. Sheamus lifts Cody over his shoulder and Cody slips off. He sends Sheamus into the post but Sheamus blocks it and sends Cody into the ring post instead! He throws Cody into the guard rail as we head to…

~commercial break!~

We’re back! Sheamus is on the apron and is trying to suplex Cody to the outside. Cody fights him off and sends him Shoulder first into the ring post and Sheamus flies to the ground. Sheamus crawls in and gets met immediately with boots. Cody chokes Sheamus on the bottom roops and then delivers a kick to the lower abdomen. The beat down continues as JBL and Cole talk about Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo’s relationship. It totally detracts from the match, as always. Cody hits a nice enziguri for two! Cody locks on a front headlock and Sheamus launches him off. Cody runs back at him and gets caught with a back breaker. Both men are down and then, get this, both men make it to their feet! Sheamus hits a couple of clotheslines and then goes upstairs. Cody hits a huge kick Sheamus’ head all the way up on the top rope. Cody goes for Cross Rhodes. Sheamus gets out of that and hits White Noise. I think it’s Brogue time… BOOM. These guys put on a pretty good match. I’d trade that ten minutes of talking at the beginning of the show for more of this but I’ll take what I can get.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Sheamus @ 13:45 via pin
RATING: ***1/4

~commercial time~

– We get a Fandango vignette. Looks like they’ll be moving forward with that. Meh.

– Sandow has a microphone on the way to the ring. Sandow is disgusted that his best friend Cody Rhodes lost his match and he’s even more disgusted that all of the half wits in the audience are cheering an albino Irishmen. For reasons of good form, Damien will avenge Cody’s loss by defeating his arch nemesis.

Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow
Fast paced Bryan offense to start us off. Sandow stumbles into the corner and gets hit with a missile dropkick. Damien gets thrown to the outside and Daniel Bryan hits a running knee off the apron. He rolls Damien back in and PYRO~! Here comes Kane. Daniel Bryan isn’t very happy about Kane’s arrival. Damien goes for a roll up. TWO! No kicks from Bryan. Bryan tells Kane to get out and Kane sets off the ring pyro out of anger. This distracts Daniel and Sandow hits the neck breaker for three. These guys delivered despite the time given to them.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Damien Sandow @ 2:32 via pin
RATING: *1/4

– We get a weird backstage segment with Brodus, Tamina and Aksana. Aksana and Tamina are trying to take the Funkadactyl’s places. The Dactyls show up on the scene. Aksana calls one of them Kofi.

~commercial time~

RAW REBOUND: We get a recap of the Shield segment that closed the show on Monday. We get post-Raw footage now. They show us Cena telling The Shield that there’s a fight coming at Elimination Chamber. I hope that it’s IN a chamber. It would take care of the numbers problem…

– Tamina and Aksana attack the Funkadactyls as they accompany Brodus to the ring!

~commercial time~

Tamina and Aksana vs. The Funkadactyls (w/ Brodus)
A THIRD MATCH!? What the hell is this? Brodus is on commentary. One of the worst bulldogs I’ve ever seen happens in the ring with Tamina and Cameron. Brodus leaves commentary to stand ringside. Tamina locks in a headlock on Cameron. She drags Cameron over and tags in Aksana. Aksana chokes Cameron on the middle rope. Aksana lifts her up and drops her with a sideslam for two. Aksana stays on her and locks in a headlock. Cameron makes it to her feet and gives Aksana an arm drag. Aksana hits a running knee on Cameron before she can make a tag. Cameron goes for a roll up and gets two! She drop kicks Aksana in the knee and tags in Naomi! SLOPPY RANA! SLOPPY DROPKICK! She fakes a dive to the outside. Aksana rolls in and gets hit with a nice kick to the jaw for three.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Funkadactyls @ 4:35 via pin
RATING: 1/4*

FINAL THOUGHTS: We had a pretty good show tonight until the final segment. All of the wrestling was good and I’m not complaining about the talent that they decide to feature on the show. Again, excluding the tag match. Thumbs up! I’ll see you guys on Friday for Smackdown. Thank you for reading!