Commentators: Matt Striker & Tony Dawson
Championship's roll call: WWE Champion: The Rock… World Champion: Alberto Del Rio… Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett… United States Champion: Antonio Cesaro… Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No… NXT Champion: Big E Langston… NXT Tag Team Champions: Adrian Neville & Oliver Grey… Diva's Champion: Kaitlyn
"Funkasaurus" Brodus Clay & Tensai (w/The Funkadactyls) vs. Primo & Epico (w/Rosa Mendes): The babyfaces have coordinating ring gear on now. Primo opens the match with Clay; he tries a side headlock but Brodus punches his way out and slams him three times. Tensai tags in and they hit a double shoulderblock and then tandem elbow drops. Epico gets a tag the two of them hit a double suplex. Tensai no sells it and nails them both with a double clothesline. Matt Striker says Tensai "went with the momentum" and deceived the Colóns. Tensai hits a delayed butterfly suplex on Epico (miscalled a backdrop by Tony Dawson). Actually, I'll give him a break, he's only been doing this for a short time; Striker is a lot more forgiving than William Regal is on NXT as he just notes the correct name of the hold as opposed to Regal openly ragging on him. Clay tags and he hits head-butts to the back of his head; Brodus hits a unique looking wheelbarrow suplex, for two. Tensai tags in and they nail an assisted avalanche; Epico collapses so Tensai hits the CANNONBALL in the corner. Back from commercial, the ass kicking continues with Tensai clotheslining Epico. The WWE appears to be trying to get "Sweet T" over as a nickname for him. He tries a Vader Bomb but Epico gets the boot up and Primo tags in and lands a missile dropkick and legdrop. Epico comes off the top with a fist to the dome and then a dropkick. Tensai makes a comeback with a SUNSET FLIP… for two. Impressive. He nails an elbow to the face but misses an elbow. Primo tags in and they continue the beating as Rosa shakes her ass. Primo does the ol' slap the guy on the apron and draw him into the ring trick to get some double teaming in; he goes for the chinlock. Primo switches into a front facelock and then adds knees when Tensai erects himself. They try another double suplex but he reverses it and nails both of them with a suplex. Here's Brodus! He enters and nails a suplex and avalanche; Epico manages a jawjacker to create space between he and Clay but Tensai sneaks in a tag and they squash Epico between them with a standing sandwich splash and hit a double splash pinfall. 7/10 You know, this was quite the fun tag match; it used the classic formula and it worked. Clay and Tensai need a team name; they have the matching ring gear, and need to complete the transformation into the fulltime tag team.
Here are your winners… Brodus Clay & Tensai via double splash pinfall
The Raw Rebound is the "fight" between Mr. McMahon and Paul Heyman which devolved into Brock Lesnar/Triple H II. For my full Monday Night Raw review, click here. The next highlight is the Shield's promo where Sheamus and Randy Orton got the better of them.
Kofi Kingston vs. David Otunga: Otunga has not been around recently, I believe he's been making a movie (seems like half the roster is in a movie as opposed to WrestleMania); this match came about over an argument over video games or something according to Matt Striker. Otunga backs Kofi into the corner and then flexes. Kingston uses his speed to reverse a corner move and flexes back; Otunga gets mad and charges... right into a drop-toehold. Kingston applies a front facelock; Otunga frees himself and hits a shoulderblock. He runs the ropes and Kofi bounds around and hits a reverse elbow to the face, for two. He tries to whip him but Otunga blocks. Kofi counters and leaps off the top rope, over Otunga, but eats an elbow to the face. Otunga hits a neckbreaker and applies a chinlock. Kofi battles back but runs afoul of a powerslam. He hammerlocks the arm and punches his gut (with flexes). Kofi reverses and schoolboys him, for a two. Otunga keeps him down with a clothesline but misses an elbow drop which triggers a comeback from Kingston. He hits leaping clotheslines and dropkicks; the Boom Drop follows. He riles up the Trouble in Paradise but Otunga makes a hasty retreat to the floor. Kofi launches himself off the top to the floor with a crossbody; pretty wicked camera angle there as we see it from the floor level. He tosses Otunga back in for Trouble in Paradise for the pinfall. 3/10 Kofi gets a win as he seemingly has disappeared from the WWE landscape completely. His free-fall is pretty epic actually as he was IC Champion at the very end of 2012 and is a nonfactor in March of 2013. I don't get the WWE's apprehension with him, he's over, the fans love him and he's entertaining. He gets the win here but I doubt he'll be at ‘Mania.
Here is your winner… Kofi Kingston via Trouble in Paradise pinfall
The show concludes with the second half of the outstanding CM Punk/John Cena match from Raw; probably one of the best matches I've reviewed on Raw since I started recapping the show.
OVERALL 5/10 I fun opening match and a Kofi squash (which are entertaining) plus the usual Monday Night Raw highlights. I like the Clay/Tensai team and hope they get a run as a legit tandem once Team Hell No breaks up. As for this show it was an average show this week.
Please follow Marc Elusive on Twitter or like Marc Elusive on Facebook or check out www.marcelusive.net for reviews and recaps (of current WWE and old WWF PPVs, DVDs and VHS tapes) and a little analysis; more of a play-by-play style, like my reviews here. Thank you for all of your support.