wrestling / TV Reports
Tremendous Tirades 3.14.13: TNA Impact Wrestling
Introduction
It’s the road to WrestleMania, and with that being the case, I have dusted off the old Tremendous Tirades name for new alternate recap to the main shows that will air each week (Raw, Impact and Smackdown). This will not be another traditional recap, but instead it will be a mash up of the Rs, Instant Analysis and my usual Twitter ramblings I would do during the shows; completely uncensored and as the ideas flow unfiltered to the old keyboard.
I felt that Lockdown wasn’t a good show. I get that some people wanted to love the show, and if they did that is completely fine. I have always felt that a PPV is very different from a regular show. I have always judged PPV on how they built to a match, the match quality, crowd reactions to matches and angles, the overall booking, how the PPV leads into the future, PPV price and so on and so forth. The show, in my opinion, had an eventful ending, average at best wrestling overall and some bullshit that shouldn’t have been on one of the four live PPVs for the year. Also, as compared to other PPV I have watched this year, one being damn near perfect, this just did not stack up. And stop saying, “just have fun when you watch the show,” because that’s not the job. If a show is good, I will have fun, because I like good wrestling shows. This isn’t a positive at all costs column where I give all of the shows a great rating because it’s fun to be positive. This isn’t some bullshit contest where we give out 10th place ribbons and mediocrity is accepted; if something sucks, I say it sucks. If something is good, I say it is good. It’s as simple as that.
Tonight’s edition of the show comes to you live from Chicago and the Sears Centre Arena…
World Tag Team Title Match: Chavo and Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries © ACES and 8s GIVE NO FUCKS: The show was going to start off with a tag team title match, but as Hernandez and Chavo hit the ring, Aces and 8s made their first appearance of the night and took out the challengers in a mass beat down. Devon, Anderson, Bischoff, Brisco, Knux and DOC were the party in action. Devon then cut a promo about taking over TNA, and introduced his brother and new TNA Champion, Bully Ray. While many times I do dislike the cliché show opening promo, this makes perfect sense coming off such a big angle at the PPV. Bully bragged about tricking Sting, screwing Brooke and making a fool out of Hulk Hogan. He then stated that he was going to win when Wes and Garett came to the ring, but thanks to Hulk Hogan, the plans changed. He brought up Hulk’s pep talk about being memorable, so that is what he did, and he did in one night what the nWo couldn’t do, and then dared Hulk to fire them. The Aces and 8s then stood tall after the dare, and the crowd chanted for Hogan but he never came out. This was a strong opening with the new heel champion laying out the evil plan, and coming off as a remorseless asshole.
Rating (1-10): 8.0
Gail Kim and Tara vs. Mickie James and Velvet Sky: Tayrn Terrell is the official, and in a mini-box promo, Gail Kim announced that Terrell has been put on probation by Brooke Hogan, due to her actions at Lockdown. The faces took the early advantage before the commercial break, when the heels finally got the heat. It is always nice to see the ladies get some time, especially when you have Kim, James and Tara involved. The crowd was also very receptive of them, and while the Knockouts aren’t booked perfectly by any means, it is a big difference between the reactions the TNA ladies get and the WWE ladies get. Kim and Terrell of course had a confrontation, Kim tossed her down and Terrell slapped her, which led to a finisher buffet and Sky pinning Tara for the win. Overall, this was a really good segment for the ladies.
Rating (1-10): 7.5
Robbie E vs. Rob Terry: And this frustrates me even more that this match was on the PPV. With TNA being on PPV only four times a year live, you have to pick and choose what gets those coveted PPV spots, and if this was going to be on Impact anyway, why in the hell would you put it on PPV? The crowd didn’t care, chanted feed me more, and Terry about botched his finish. This show was going so well.
Rating (1-10): 1.0
Exciting meetings today in Chicago!New rules coming to X-Division matches starting on 3/21 #ImpactLIVE.
— Dixie Carter (@TNADixie) March 14, 2013
THE LEGION OF DOOM ARRIVES – Storm vs. Daniels – AJ Returns: Kaz and Daniels made their way to the ring, dressed up like the Road Warriors, face paint included. I love these guys. It’s throwback Thursday, and since they are in Chicago, they pay homage to the second best tag team in wrestling history. Daniels then runs down the Warriors as fake tough guys, just like AJ Styles and ever one in attendance. They are the original ring warriors, and the real legion of boom. Daniels then gave permission for us all to worship them. James Storm was not amused by this, and hit the ring. Storm said that the Warriors were taller, bigger and more over than Bad Influence will ever be. Storm then challenged one of them to a match right here and now. Storm’s promo was solid, but the mic cutting in and out hurt it. This led to Storm vs. Daniels, which as you would expect was a good TV match. Bad Influence then beat down Storm after the match, leading to AJ Styles hitting the ring. AJ made the save, but then not forgetting that Storm is the reason that his life is shit, laid him out. AJ Styles: gives no fucks. I felt that this was another really strong segment, funny stuff from Bad Influence, a good TV match, some small advancement in the AJ angle and it all made sense. I liked it.
Rating (1-10): 8.0
Joseph Park Promo: Joseph Park came out to do his shtick, cutting a “hometown” promo. Matt Morgan then came out, commenting on all of the mistakes that Hulk Hogan has made, including the Bully Ray thing and especially Joseph Park being signed to a contract. Morgan stated he would take care of this abortion to wrestling, and gave Park the chance to leave, and told him to leave Chicago and never come back. This angered park, who stated that people from Chicago never back down from a fight. He then agreed to fight Morgan, but Morgan stated that they would do things on his time. He teased leaving and then laid out Park with the bog boot. I wonder if Park ever found his brother Chris, you know, Abyss. Morgan said they would face next week. This did two things for me, and they are jack and shit. Sorry kids, I know you love Park and all, but this really killed the momentum of the show for me. The positive, if I can take something from it, is that they set something up for next week.
Rating (1-10): 2.0
MAIN EVENT MATCH AND ANGLE: Austin Aries w/Bobby Roode vs. Sting: Listen, I like Sting. I appreciate the things he has done for TNA over the years. And yes, overall I think he is a hall of fame guy. But I hate that TNA constantly positions him as the hero of the company, and I hate when I see things like this. And that is that when you sent out a 53-year-old man to make your tag team champions look worthless and incompetent. I get that they market him as their ICON and that they anted to use him on the road; but this kind of booking, which they have been doing for years, is so counter productive. Sting dominated the early part of the match before the commercial, controlling both guys, and when we came back from commercial, he was still beating down Aries. Roode then got tossed for trying to distract Sting, which is all well and good because Sting already handed him his ass. Aries finally got control of the match at this point, and the crowd was with Aries. Again, I like Sting, but Aries at times looked as if he was in fast forward as compared to Sting. At this point, they need to use Sting wisely and protect him, like they did in Lethal Lockdown and other tag team matches. Funniest part was when Aries tried to do the death lock, couldn’t figure it out, and yelled at Sting, “HOW DO YOU DO THIS CRAP?” Aries was working his ass off in there to make the match enjoyable, and thankfully they gave him some rub by having him kick out of the death drop. After the bullshit where Sting ran wild on the tag team champions, it turned into a good in ring effort.
Aces and 8s then ran in before Sting could finish Aries, and did the big beat down. Bully reminded Sting that he used him and said he made this memorable, and challenged Hogan to come to the ring.
After a commercial break, Ray is still in the ring, ranting about taking over TNA. Hogan’s music finally hit and he limped out on his crutches. Hulk said it would be the easy way out to fire Aces and 8s. Hulk said that one day Aces and 8s would get what was coming to them. He has given power to everyone in the locker room to fight Aces and 8s. Jeff Hardy then led a rush of TNA troops to the ring for the big show-ending brawl. Aces and 8s dominated a long brawl segment, including Bully Ray laying waste to the TNA troops with chain shots. Ray said that the army was killed by Aces and 8s, “what are you gonna do now, dad?”
Overall this was a good segment, predictable, but pretty much what they needed to do to get the heat back on Aces and 8s after nine months of them coming off like goofs.
Rating (1-10): 7.5
The good outweighed the bad here, and overall I thought it was a good show. Some solid wrestling, some good angle advancement, some funny moments and the stuff I didn’t enjoy was the usual stuff I tend not to like. For a show after the PPV, I felt that they accomplished good things, and it was an easy show to sit through. I also liked the feel of the live show in Chicago, the crowd was into the TNA product, and that always reflects well on the show. Show Rating: 7.5 As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale… 0 – 0.9: Torture |
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Larry Csonka is a Pisces and enjoys rolling at jiu jitsu class with Hotty McBrownbelt, cooking, long walks on the beach, Slingo and the occasional trip to Jack in the Box. He is married to a soulless ginger and has two beautiful daughters who are thankfully not soulless gingers; and is legally allowed to marry people in 35 states. He has been a wrestling fan since 1982 and has been writing for 411 since May 24th, 2004; contributing over 3,000 columns, TV reports and video reviews to the site.
