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411’s WWE Smackdown Report 3.22.13
It’s Michael Benjamin here with another Smackdown report. Let’s see what they have in store for us tonight!
SHOW… ON!
Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: The Rock
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
US Champion: Antonio Cesaro
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Kane & Daniel Bryan
– Then. Now. Forevz.
We’re kicking things off immediately with Miz TV. His guests tonight are Sheamus and Randy Orton. No entrances? Score. Miz says that their lives have been turned upside down now that Ryback has been removed from their team. That’s a little dramatic but I get where he’s going with it. Randy Orton and Sheamus both admit that they would have had their asses/arses kicked on Monday if it wasn’t for Big Show. Despite not trusting him, Randy Orton says that they need Big Show on their side. Sheamus is a little more skeptical however. This brings out the big man himself.
As Big Show makes his way to the ring, Michael Cole welcomes us to the show. Joining him on commentary is Josh Matthews and JBL. Aw, no Maddox? Miz, as Big Shows former tag team partner, agrees that Big Show can’t be trusted. Big Show grabs a mic and says that he’s dated women bigger than The Miz. Big Show says that they don’t need to get along. He can’t stand Sheamus or Orton. If they stand united though, they can defeat the Shield. Sheamus wonders how he can trust Big Show to not tuck his tail between his legs and run if things get too tough at Mania. Randy Orton has to get in the middle of Sheamus and Show before they slug it out.
This brings out Booker T. He makes his way to the top of the ramp and announces that all three men will team up in a six man tag main event tonight. But is it an extravaganza? This was a pretty well done opening segment, despite being a little formulaic. They did a good job establishing the group dynamic of all three men without wasting too much time. They’re doing a better than expected job of building this match up for Mania.
Zack Ryder’s already in the ring as we come back from commercial break. Mark Henry is quick to corner Ryder, following up with a big splash. He toys with Ryder a bit, whipping him from corner to corner like a rag doll. He hits the Worlds Strongest Slam and it’s over. A win over Ryder doesn’t make Henry look any stronger than he already does. We all know what he’s capable of at this point. This match was booked to set up our post-match angle, which is fine. I don’t think anybody is losing sleep of Ryders W/L record anymore.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Mark Henry @ :50 via pinfall
RATING: N/R
– Mark is not done yet! He lifts Ryder up and delivers a second Worlds Strongest Slam to a chorus of boos. “Feed me more” chants ensue as Henry hits a third slam! Here comes Ryback! The behemoths stare each other down and the crowd is buzzing! They run at each other and Ryback catches him with the meat hook clothesline! Henry rolls to the outside in complete shock. Good segment.
– Backstage, Teddy Long tells Booker T that he took it upon himself to book Henry/Show for Mania with Vickie Guerrero. Booker T doesn’t like how Teddy went about handling his business. Book says that Teddy works FOR him. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow your roll, playa! I thought I worked with you?” says Teddy as Booker T doesn’t look pleased. This angle has a nice slow burn to it. I’m intrigued to see where it all ends up.
– We get the Booker T HoF induction video again. Congratulations to Booker T on an awesome career. This is a very well deserved induction.
AJ will be joining on commentary. She’s sitting Indian style on the announce table. Kofi’s quick to get on offense with a barrage of dropkicks and a Boom Drop. AJ’s concerned about the face of Ziggy. Aw. Big E distracts Kofi long enough for Dolph to turn the tide and hit a dropkick of his own. Dolph is in control as we head to break!
We’re back as both men exchange blows. Giggity! These guys are going at a quick pace. Kofi goes upstairs but Dolph tangles him up on the top rope. He hits another huge dropkick for a two count! Lots of dropkicks. AJ says that she wakes up in a cold sweat every night thinking about that she almost married Daniel Bryans beard as Ziggler locks in a side headlock. Kofi makes it to his feet but ends up cornered! Dolph charges him and Kofi moves! Ziggler goes shoulder first into the ring post. Kofi hits a HUGE splash off of the top rope for two. He attempts a springboard ax handle off of the second rope but Ziggler gets his knees up! Dolph dodges a Trouble in Paradise and locks in the sleeper! Kofi escapes and hits S.O.S but Ziggler gets a rope break! Ziggler rolls to the outside to catch his breath as Kingston goes for a plancha over the top! Big E blocks it and takes the hit for Ziggler! Ziggler grabs Kofi and hits the Fameasser on the outside! He rolls Kofi in and hits the Zig Zag for the win! Cool, cool, cool. Despite AJ being a little distracting and annoying on commentary, this was a pretty fun match. The ending sequence with Big E was great and added a nice little twist to a match we’ve seen a bajillion times.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Dolph Ziggler @ 6:48 aired via pinfall
RATING: **3/4
– Post match, Langston hits the Big Finish on Kofi! ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME! No? Okay.
– We get a recap of the Fandango/Jericho altercation on Monday. Fandango is growing on me and I never thought I’d say it. The dude dances and wants his name pronounced correctly. Good. Fucking. Gimmick, As much as I love Fandango, I’d rather see Cesaro/Jericho at Mania though. I think that we’re at the cutoff point for getting a match on the card which is a damn shame for Antonio.
RAW REBOUND: We get a recap of the Taker/Punk segment on Raw. This is the most intriguing match on the Mania card for me. How about you?
– Backstage, Sheamus and Show are arguing about strategy as Orton plays the voice of reason again. It should be interesting to see how they get Orton from here to heel, as he’s been showing more good guy tendencies than usual.
– Next up, they air a recap of Swagger breaking Ricardo’s ankle on Monday. Alberto is not here with us on Smackdown tonight as he’s home taking care of Ricardo. Really? Champ gets a day off for that?
– Zeb Coulter and Jack Swagger are in the ring. Zeb says that in Jack Swaggers America, bones will be broken if they have to be. This is a message to anybody who disagrees with what they say. WE. THE. PEOPLE. WE… THE… *BREAK THE WALLS DOWN*
Here we go! Jericho comes out of the gate aggressively with an absolute mauling on Swagger. He delivers elbows and sends him into the corner, where he delivers a huge running elbow strike. Swagger quickly heads to the outside to catch a break. Zeb gives him a little pep talk and Jericho follows him to the outside with a dropkick through the bottom rope. He sends Swagger into the barricade and delivers a chop before rolling him back in. Zeb distracts Jericho just long enough for Swagger to zero in on the leg of Jericho, as Swagger hits a nice chop block on Jericho. Swagger doesn’t let up with some nice leg work. Jericho gets a couple of false comebacks during the dominance before finding himself on the top rope with Jack Swagger. They go back and forth before Swagger falls to the mat after a headbutt! He gets to his feet and Jericho delivers a huge missile dropkick for TWO! Swagger heads to the outside for another breather but gets hit with a plancha by Jericho. Jericho shit talks Zeb on the outside as we head to break. Good match so far.
Swagger catches Jericho with a huge big boot as we come back from break. Jack Swagger is tearing Jericho apart limb from limb. His heat segments aren’t very exciting. Not that I’m asking for flippy shit or anything. Jericho fights back and hits a nice ax handle from the top! He corners Swags, hits him with a couple of elbows and attempts the ten count punch! Swagger catches him at 9 and goes for the Powerbomb! Jericho attempts to reverse that into a rana but Swagger locks in the Patriot Lock! Jericho escapes and hits Swagger with a kick as Fandangos music hits and he gives us a nice little dance at the top of the ramp with his dancing partner. Does anybody know hoow long it takes for them to get the ramp set up for his entrance? In the ring, Jericho turns around and gets caught with a belly to belly by Swagger for two! Fandango looks on. Swagger attempts a short arm clothesline but Jericho reverses that into a roll up! Swagger rolls out of a Code Breaker attempt but Jericho locks in the Walls! Swagger escapes! Zeb distracts the ref. Fandango gets on the apron and knocks Jericho out with a kick to the face! Swagger picks up the win! These two wrestled a far better match this week in my opinion.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Jack Swagger @ 12:35 aired via pinfall
RATING: ***1/2
– Fandango gets in the ring after the match and beats down Jericho with some stomps. He’s screaming “What’s my name!?” sans accent, before going to the top rope. He rubs his chest like Joey Ryan in the TNA Christmas commercial and hits a very nice looking leg drop. He grabs the mic and says “It’s Fandango” in Jericho’s face before posing for the hard camera. This was a good way to give the fans a little taste of his ring work without giving it all away.
– Backstage, Matt Striker is with Big Show. Show says that he agrees with Randy. He says that Randy and Sheamus will be able to trust him as much as they can trust each other.
– They air a Rock/Cena II video package. Very well done stuff. It’s cool to see John’s path to Mania. I thought adding the divorce headline to the images of Cena’s shitty 2012 summary was a pretty nice touch. I miss “The Little Things”. Anyways, great video package. Surprise, surprise.
– Team Rhodes Scholars are in the ring with the Bella Twins. They put them over a bit before Brodus and Tensai come out. I assume that we’re just going to pretend they never broke up until it’s convenient.
Tensai and Cody are starting us off. Tensai knocks Cody down and misses a splash. He quickly tags in Brodus. Brodus corners Cody and hits him with a huge splash. These guys love splashes. The Bella’s and The Funkadactyls end up brawling on the outside. The men get involved and the ref calls for the bell.
OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest @ 1:30
RATING: N/R
– Backstage, Sheamus and Orton are with Striker and they’re both on the same page now. That was quick. Sheamus says that he trusts Orton a lot while smiling. Orton/Sheamus after Mania?
CESARO SIGHTING~! I’m liking that new Cesaro shirt. Wade Barrett is on commentary. So for those keeping score at home, Cesaro is seemingly playing second fiddle to the Miz/Barrett feud that nobody gives a shit about. Cesaro locks in a side headlock and Miz escapes and gives him an Irish whip. He goes around and catches a roll up for a quick two count. Miz charges but Cesaro hits a knee lift out of nowhere to get in control. HUGE STOMP by Cesaro. That looked painful. He dead lifts the Miz up for his vintage gut wrench for TWO. He grabs Miz by the ear and applies a chinlock. Miz escapes and hits an ax handle off the top. He goes for a Figure Four and Cesaro escapes. He locks in another and wins. An immediate tap out to add salt to the wound. What the fuck was that? So let me get this straight, Miz can’t get the job done with Cesaro so he moves on to a different midcard title. Cesaro, walking away from the Miz feud with his title intact, gets NOTHING at Mania?
OFFICIAL RESULT: Miz @ 2:58 via submission
RATING: 1/2*
– Post match, he locks in the Figure Four again before Cesaro has to roll out of the ring and stay out of the spotlight.
– We get a recap of the main event segment of Raw with Heyman and Triple H. I bet slamming that chair on the ramp four times that hard hurt Lesnars hands so bad. So yeah, Triple H comes out of retirement to defend his career.
– Randy Orton and Sheamus make their way down to the ring as we head to our last commercial break.
Oh man, will Orton, Sheamus and Show be able to co-exist long enough to defeat 3MB!? Orton starts things off with Jinder Mahal. Orton dominates out of the gate. He hits the ten count punches and tags in Sheamus. Sheamus corners Mahal. The ref pulls Sheamus away and Mahal attacks! He gets some strikes in but Sheamus quickly escapes that situation with a knee. He lifts Mahal up and hits the rolling senton as Big Show is playing cheerleader. Sheamus is giving Mahal over hand chops as Big Show smiles on.
Show and Drew McIntyre are in now. He throws Drew on the apron and delivers THE CLUBBERING! He graps Jinder and tosses him into the ring. Jinder wants nothing to do with Show and tags in Slater. Show tosses him in and tags in Orton. Orton goes for his assisted DDT on Slater but Mahal interjects. Slater hits a super kick and gets a near fall! All of the sudden, Orton is being isolated in the 3MBs corner. Quick tags all over the place from 3MB. Slater goes upstairs but gets caught in mid-air with a dropkick from Orton! Show’s in! Mahal’s in! Show delivers a spear to Mahal but McIntyre hits a huge Big Boot on Show. Show manages to tag in Sheamus who hits the Brogue for the win. This wasn’t a clinic but it wasn’t about that.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Randy Orton, Sheamus and Big Show @ 6:12 via pinfall
RATING: *1/2
– Big Show is pissed off that Sheamus stole the win from him. As Orton tries to settle them down, here comes the Shield! They make their way down but Sheamus and Show are fighting in the ring! Orton tries to break it up but Big Show pushes him off! Orton pushes Big Show back and now the Shield is surrounding the ring like a pack of wolves. Orton, Show, and Sheamus manage to get on the same page before getting mauled. The Shield decide to fight a different day, and exit through the crowd.
OVERALL: Smackdown was solid from top to bottom tonight. Everything built logically to Wrestlemania and added intrigue to the match-ups. The only tragedy on the show was the handling of Antonio Cesaro, who is finding himself in a Kofi Kingston like role on the road to Mania. Otherwise, this weeks show gets a thumbs up from this guy.
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