411’s WWE Main Event Report 3.27.13

It’s Michael Benjamin here with another Main Event report! Tonight, Kane battles Antonio Cesaro in a match that’s pretty intriguing to me. Let’s see what these guys have in store for us. Shall we?

SHOW… ON.

WWE Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: The Rock
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
US Champion: Antonio Cesaro
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Daniel Bryan and Kane

WWE MAIN EVENT 3.27.13

– Then. Now. Forevz.

– Cesaro has a microphone in hand. He says that tonight he’s going to show us how much better Switzerland is than the United States. He yodels to a chorus of canned boos.

Non Title Match: Kane (w/ Daniel Bryan) vs. Antonio Cesaro
Technically, this is a champion vs. champion match I suppose. Daniel Bryan is joining Miz and Cole on commentary. The bell rings as the crowd chants USA. They lockup to start and Kane quickly tosses him away. Antonio locks in a side headlock on a second try but Kane whips him into the ropes and delivers a shoulder block. Cesaro wants to lock up again but instead, delivers a kick to the gut. Kane quickly fights back with a flurry of punches and a clothesline that sends Cesaro to the outside. Cesaro gets on the apron and shoulder thrusts Kane. He attempts to suplex Kane to the outside but Kane reverses, Cesaro tries to exit the ring again but Kane catches him on the apron! Cesaro hyper-extends the left arm of Kane over the top rope and tries going to work on it. He can’t maintain offense however, and ends up in a headlock as we head to our first commercial break.

-Commercial Break-

Kane is smashing Cesaro’s head on the top turnbuckle as we return from break. Cesaro quickly gets in control and delivers a flying uppercut from the middle rope. He immediately goes for the left arm of Kane again. Cesaro is yodeling nonstop. I hope this doesn’t become a permanent character trait. Cesaro hammers away on Kane in the corner. He Irish whips Kane into the adjacent corner but that’s reversed! Kane delivers a clothesline followed by a side slam for TWO. Kane goes to the top rope to deliver his clothesline but CESARO CATCHES HIM WITH THE UPPERCUT! He covers Kane and gets TWO! Cole sends us to another commercial? That was fast. Daniel Bryan’s been doing a really good job putting both men in the ring over. All Cole seems to want to talk about is yodeling.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back! Cesaro’s yodeling some more while locking a headlock in. Kane escapes and chokeslams Cesaro! NO! Cesaro escapes and man handles Kane! Gut wrench! TWO! He lifted Kane like it was nothing. It never gets old. Cesaro’s getting upset and begins to deliver a flurry of stomps before going back to the left arm of Kane. Kane makes it to his feet and both men exchange blows. Giggity goo. Kane gives Cesaro a huge back body drop and regains control. He goes for another side slam but Cesaro escapes! He charges at Kane but gets caught with a big boot! Kane gets two and goes to the top rope. He delivers a huge clothesline! Second time is a charm! It’s chokeslam time! No! AJ’s music plays and she begins to skip around the ring. Daniel Bryan cuts her off and stands in her way screaming no! Cesaro knocks Kane down while he’s distracted by the outside shenanigans! Kane reverses a Neutralizer into a back body drop! Chokeslam! It’s over. This was a pretty solid outing. Cesaro and Kane wrestled the kind of match you want to see when you tune in for Main Event.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Kane @ 17:23 via pinfall
RATING: ***

– We get a recap of Swagger breaking Ricardo’s ankle and Alberto’s attack the following Monday night. Are you guys excited for this match?

-Commercial Break-

– They HAVE to air a replay of Triple H kneeing Barrett in the nuts because it’s PIVOTAL to every story they’re trying to tell. That’s how they segue into Miz/Barrett hype. My brain hurts.

– Matt Striker is backstage with Sheamus. He says that if him, Randy and Big Show can get on the same page for one night, The Shield will be in for the fight of their lives.

– Cameron and Naomi come out with microphones. They introduce Tensai and Brodus as “Tons of Funk”. What do you guys think about the new name? It could be worse.

-Commercial Break-

– Tons of Funk are still dancing as we come back from break. Here comes Cody and Damien with microphones of their own. They make fun of Brodus and Tensai’s new name before introducing the Bella twins. YOU CAN LOOK BUT YOU CAN’T TOUCH.

– They show a graphic that confirms the rumored tag match at Mania. It’s official now. It’ll be Team Rhodes Scholars and the Bella Twins vs. Tons of Funk and the Funkadactyls.

The Bella Twins (w/ Team Rhodes Scholars) vs. Cameron and Naomi (w/ Tons of Funk)
Cameron starts off with Nikki. Brie trips Cameron up as she hits the rope and Nikki takes control early, choking Cameron on the middle rope. She distracts the ref afterwards and Brie hits Cameron with a kick to the face. Nikki in and she applies a headlock. Cameron escapes in a hurry. Hot tag! Naomi hits a running butt to the face and covers for two before Brie breaks it up, Naomi hits a huge running enziguri to the back of the head of Nikki! Cody gets on the apron and distracts her and Brie rolls her up for the win. I’m getting sick of this feud rapidly. Perhaps something other than tag matches with interference on every show would spice it up? They’re not even trying.

OFFICIAL RESULT: The Bella Twins @ 3:53 via pin
RATING: 3/4*

– We get a recap of the Cena/Rock segment that closed the show on Monday. It picked up about halfway through when Cena showed some emotion and made some valid points for once. Despite the closing segment being less than stellar, I’ll be the first (and maybe last) to admit that it did its job in getting me more excited for their Mania showdown. They were being a bit too friendly beforehand. This brought some much needed intensity.

OVERALL: Main Event was alright tonight. Kane vs. Cesaro was a fun match, the tag match was whatever and the rest was Mania hype. Check out Kane versus Cesaro if you’re on the look out for some solid current product. Thank you for reading and I’ll catch you guys on Friday with the Smackdown report!

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