Tremendous Tirades 3.29.13: WWE Friday Night Smackdown

Introduction
It’s the road to WrestleMania, and with that being the case, I have dusted off the old Tremendous Tirades name for new alternate recap to the main shows that will air each week (Raw, Impact and Smackdown). This will now be a recap, but instead be a mash up of the Rs, Instant Analysis and my usual Twitter ramblings I would do during the shows; uncensored and as the ideas flow.

I felt that last week’s show was back to being just a show because none of it felt important. I don’t know, maybe it is just me, but I would think that the company would want both Raw and Smackdown firing on all cylinders as they head to the biggest show of the year. Instead we took a detour off of the road to WrestleMania, heading through the country for a scenic drive that takes too long to get to the destination. We see some cool things, big ball of twine, world’s largest cast iron skillet, but it is few and far in between. I know they have a long time frame to build the show, but last week felt extremely flat and killed a lot of the momentum in my opinion.

The Rock Opens The Show: We’re in Hershey, PA and the Rock decided that it was story time. He discussed spending time in Hershey as a kid, and proceeded to play the hits; which is what a lot of the people wanted. It was fine, but a little over a week from WrestleMania I wish he would have gotten to the point a bit sooner. He eventually discussed beating Cena’s ass, but before he could discuss that in detail, Big Johnny returned. This was all in the first 10-minutes, and then they went to a commercial. When they came back, Johnny had arrived in the ring, and we went through the usual deal with Rock asking who in the blue hell he was. Johnny talked about people power, being the Raw GM and John Cena. He then offered to be in Rock’s corner at WrestleMania, which led to him eating a people’s elbow. This was like one of those old dark segments that they used to do with Rock and Austin to send the crowd home happy, but did nothing to make me want to see Rock vs. Cena at WrestleMania, which is in nine nights. This was the first 20-minutes of the show.

Rating (1-10): 5.0

Non-Title Match: Wade Barrett © vs. Chris Jericho: The Miz was at ringside to do commentary for the match. They had a good outing, Miz distracted Barrett with trash talk, and Jericho hit the code breaker for the win. Following the match, Jericho noticed Fandango’s entrance stuff was all set up, so he called him out. Fandango danced his way to the ring with his lady friend; Jericho got on the apron and held the ropes open for him, which led to Fandango turning around and leaving. I know that some will use the excuse that Miz distracted Barrett, but this is again a constant problem with WWE, and made Barrett look foolish again. In theory Jericho winning is fine to get him momentum to face Fandango, because Jericho winning matches and then possibly putting over Fandango makes sense if they want Fandango to be a star. But Barrett losing, again in the same week, does nothing for him as the IC Champion. Barrett as champion as well as the title continue to be devalued each and every week. Someone asked last week where I had been, since the mid-card and secondary titles had been booked like shit for years. I have been right here, pointing it out while others bury their heads in the sand and pretend it doesn’t matter. Those same people also complain that guys like Barrett, Cesaro and Ziggler are talented, but “for some reason” they don’t get over. This would have worked for a good build to Fandango vs. Jericho, if they could have picked one of the goofs backstage that isn’t a champion and isn’t performing on WrestleMania.

Rating (1-10): 5.0

Paul Heyman Sit Down Interview: We got a recap of the Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar feud, which led into the interview with Heyman. This was an “earlier today” deal, with Josh Matthews doing the interview. Heyman told Joss to piss off with his questions, and stated that he was here for Brock Lesnar to tell Triple H that his whole career would be over. Once Brock crushed him, he would be stuck behind a desk, fantasizing about being in the ring and living through other superstars. And when Triple H gets jealous, the roster will rebel again him and rise up; and he’ll lose that job as well. Heyman said that Triple H made two mistakes; he thought he could intellectually hang with Heyman, and he though he could physically compete with Brock, and he will fail at both. It was Paul Heyman cutting a good promo, but I didn’t come away wowed or thinking that any new ground was broken. Unfortunately it came off as a bit of filler. It was good filler, but filler nonetheless.

Rating (1-10): 7.0

Bench Press Contest: The build to Mark Henry vs. Ryback has been good and logical thus far. Some have mocked me because it has received good scores, and while I know the match will not be a classic, the facts are that they are doing a good job of building a battle of the monsters. This segment was exactly what it was supposed to be. Booker T made a “no contact” rule, to hopefully stop them from brawling. Mark Henry, the heel, goes first and reps 225lbs 53 times and proclaims that it’s what he does. The baby face goes second, and just as he is about to beat the heel; the heel does what heels do. He becomes a dick, stops the face from winning by pushing the bar down onto Ryback’s throat. Henry looks like an asshole from stopping Ryback, and because he “could have greatly injured him.” But at the same time, he also gets a ton of heat because he never touched him, he touched the bar. They also continued the issues between Teddy Long and Booker, which I don’t care about because we don’t need more GM style feuds.

Rating (1-10): 8.0

Kaitlyn and Daniel Bryan vs. AJ and Dolph Ziggler: Interesting choice of match. It makes sense in many ways because AJ and Kaitlyn have issues and had a match on Monday. Also, Kane and Bryan have a WM match with Dolph and Langston; but there is also the rumor out there that the ladies will be added and make it a winner takes all six-person tag. This was a short, but fun match. Ziggler and Bryan work so well together, and are always fun to watch. They did some work, it all broke down, Kaitlyn hits the spear and grabs the victory. Whether they add the ladies or not, this was a good little outing to add some more heat to the feud. No real complaints here.

Rating (1-10): 7.0

The Shield cut a promo backstage, they don’t have faith that Show, Sheamus and Orton can put aside their differences and work together at WrestleMania.

Jack Swagger vs. Great Khali: Swagger and Dirty Dutch mocked Khali because when he makes service calls, they sound like the giant. They hen celebrated breaking Ricardo’s ankle. We then had somewhat of a match, Khali hit chops, they went to the floor and Swagger got the ankle lock on Khali and we got a double countout. I would have simply had Swagger beat down the giant and make him tap, I mean, last I checked Swagger is challenging for the world title at WrestleMania. Swagger tossed Hornswoggle into the barricade and then Ricardo appeared to distract them. Del Rio appeared, and got the arm breaker on Swagger for a bit, looking for his revenge. Dutch broke it up, and then Ricardo got some payback by hitting him with his crutch. Del Rio grabbed it and chased off Swagger. Overall it was fine in theory, but I am just not feeling the feud.

Rating (1-10): 6.0

Raw recap of Punk and Taker.

Show, Sheamus and Orton were backstage for an interview. Orton said they had a common enemy, and that with them on the same page, it would be bad news for the Shield.

Orton, Sheamus and Show vs. Rhodes, Sandow and Cesaro: Good work from all involved. This was all about establishing continuity between Orton, Sheamus and Show heading into WrestleMania. They played nice, helped each other, and Show even cheered on Sheamus to the win. The Shield made their way through the crowd after the match, but Show, Sheamus and Orton didn’t wait in the ring, instead leaving the ring and meeting The Shield in the crowd. This threw The Shield off their game and they got beat down. The Shield eventually escapes as Orton, Sheamus and Show stood tall. In the end it was ok, but I would have preferred that they had different opponents for Orton, Sheamus and Show. I would have put it in the opener with new opponents, because while not overly important, Rhodes and Sandow have a WM match and don’t need to be lowing this close to the show. I would have picked some goofs not on the card, had then destroy them and closed the show with the Rock to send everyone home happy. But that’s just me.

Rating (1-10): 6.5

The Tirade Overall a solid show with some solid build to WrestleMania, but also a show with the same problems I tend to discuss with WWE every week. Barrett losing, Cesaro doing a yodeling gimmick with no WrestleMania match is sight, and generally guys losing too close to the big show that don’t need to be losing. It was fine, but again, if you’re missing Smackdown, you’re not missing anything you HAVE to see. And heading into WrestleMania, I don’t think I should be saying that. Show Rating: 6.5 As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale… 0 – 0.9: Torture 1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous 2 – 2.9: Very Bad 3 – 3.9: Bad 4 – 4.9: Poor 5 – 5.9: Not So Good 6 – 6.9: Average 7 – 7.9: Good 8 – 8.9:Very Good 9 – 9.9: Amazing 10: Virtually Perfect

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Larry Csonka is a Pisces and enjoys rolling at jiu jitsu class with Hotty McBrownbelt, cooking, long walks on the beach, Slingo and the occasional trip to Jack in the Box. He is married to a soulless ginger and has two beautiful daughters who are thankfully not soulless gingers; and is legally allowed to marry people in 35 states. He has been a wrestling fan since 1982 and has been writing for 411 since May 24th, 2004; contributing over 3,000 columns, TV reports and video reviews to the site.

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