411’s WWE Main Event Report 5.01.13

It’s Mike Benj here with another Main Event report. As always, scroll down and you’ll get the results. That is the Benjamin guarantee after all.

WWE Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Dolph Ziggler
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
US Champion: Kofi Kingston
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Daniel Bryan and Kane

WWE MAIN EVENT 5.01.13

– Then. Now. Foreverrrrrr, bitches.

– They show a video package of Kofi Kingston defeating Antonio Cesaro for the United States Championship. For me, this little 15 second video makes the match seem far more important. Sometimes it’s just the little things.

– Matt Striker is backstage with Antonio Cesaro. He asks Cesaro how he plans on winning the title tonight. Cesaro says that he’s going to do what he’s done for the past 240 days. He’ll use his technical skills to get his title back.

United States Championship: Kofi Kingston vs. Antonio Cesaro Please don’t yodel. Please don’t yodel. Cesaro has an awesome entrance theme. There’s no need for the yodeling. He didn’t yodel! And he looks pretty badass in his aviators. Cole mentions that Cesaro said he wasn’t going to yodel because it’s all business tonight. Hopefully it’s all business moving forward. They attempt to exchange a few submissions to start but come to a stalemate. Cesaro locks in an arm wringer and gets a roll up count for one. Kofi comes back with a quick roll up of his own. Holy shit, they piped in the worst “Kofi” chant I’ve ever heard. Cesaro wrestles Kingston to the ground but Kofi quickly gives Antonio an arm bar into an arm drag. Cesaro fights back by grabbing a handful of hair and pulling Kofi down to the mat before he locks in a side headlock. Kofi makes it to his feet and sends Cesaro into the ropes. He jumps at Cesaro but gets caught! He gets taken down before succumbing to Cesaro’s dead lift gut wrench. Kofi manages to send Cesaro into the ropes. Cesaro sends him into the ropes with an Irish whip but Kofi hits him with a tilt-a-whirl rana followed by a kick to the face. Kofi follows up with a springboard plancha for two. Cesaro rolls out of the ring for a quick breather as we head to our first break.

-Commercial Break-

We return from break as Cesaro dominates Kofi with a flurry of uppercuts. Kofi goes down and Cesaro pins him for two. He locks in a headlock and Kofi gets to his feet. Cesaro whips him into the ropes and shoulder blocks him in the gut. He lifts Kofi up to his knees and chokes him on the middle rope. He drops an elbow and goes for another pin. TWO. Cesaro hits a nice overhead suplex for another two count. The piped in crowd is worse in this match than I’ve ever heard. Cesaro whips him into the corner and delivers a few knees to the gut. Kofi tries to fight back with a few rights to the mid-section but Antonio whips him into the ropes. Kofi leapfrogs over Antonio and hits a few clotheslines before hitting the boom drop! Kofi attempts to deliver the Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro rolls outside. He chokes Kofi over the top rope and gets back in the ring but quickly falls victim to the SOS. TWO COUNT! Cesaro hits the Michinoku Driver for TWO. Kofi hoists himself up in the corner and Antonio charges at him with an uppercut. Kofi falls to the mat and Cesaro gets a two count. Cesaro dead lifts him up again but Kofi reverses into a roll up! Cesaro doesn’t let up though and sits on Kofi’s chest for a pinfall of his own. TWO! We’re heading to another break. Great match so far.

-Commercial Break-

Antonio runs at Kofi but gets sent to the outside. Kofi goes for the springboard rana but Cesaro catches him in on his shoulders! Kofi ends up giving him the rana into the steps, rolling Cesaro in, and getting a two count. Kofi goes upstairs and goes for splash but Cesaro CATCHES HIM IN MID-AIR. Fuck, he’s strong. Kofi manages to escape with a roll up but only gets two. Both men make it to their feet and Cesaro hits him with a huge uppercut to take Kofi down. He locks in a half Boston Crab on the leg he’s been working on throughout the match. Kingston kicks Antonio in the face three times before escaping. Cesaro quickly grabs the leg and spins him around in circles before locking the half crab in again. Antonio’s submissions really look good. They’re SO much better than a typical main eventer headlock with three inches between the forearm and the opponents neck. Kofi makes it to the ropes and rolls out to the apron. Antonio takes his head and slams it against the ring post. Antonio hits a fucking crazy superplex. He pulled Kofi all the way up from a standing position on the apron. Ridiculous. One… Two…. 2.888888~! Cesaro lifts him up and gives him a suplex followed by a stomp to the chest for another two count. He immediately goes back to the half crab the left leg. Kofi kicks him off after about thirty seconds and Cesaro hits him with a dropkick to the face. He goes for the Neutralizer but Kingston hits the back body drop! Cesaro lands on his feet but Kofi hits him with an SOS to the back of the head and covers him for three! This match was VERY good. It’s the type of match you want to see when you watch Main Event. Cesaro definitely carried the bulk of the match and it’s astonishing that creative can’t find anything for him.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Kofi Kingston @ 22:17 via pinfall
RATING: ***1/2

– Kofi tells Matt Striker that 2013 started out as a bad year for him but he took his opportunity and ran with it when he got the chance to wrestle Cesaro for the US title and won. Kofi says that last week was even better than two weeks ago when he won the title because of the birth of his first son. He’s coming home as a champion.

-Commercial Break-

– Kofi is walking backstage with his championship before Cesaro ambushes him and rips a huge lock of hair out of Kofi’s head. That was pretty brutal. I loved it.

RAW REBOUND We get a recap of the Team Hell No/Cena vs. Shield match on Raw. I’d peg it at ***1/4. The Shield legitimately wrestles a great match every time they’re given the chance. For the record, Ryback is doing a good job in his new role but they never should have turned him heel so quick. He was their only new face that was over with the crowd. Why not just run face vs. face?

-Commercial Break-

Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater (w/ Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre)Here we go. They feel each other out start. Heath sends Gabriel into the corner and taunts him with the 3MB airplane. Slater locks in a waistlock but Gabriel arm drags his way out of it. He mocks Slater with some air guitar before locking in a headlock and picking up a roll up for two. Slater fight out and the two exchange punches. Gabriel locks in a side headlock, gets whipped into the ropes, and shoulder blocks Slater down. He does a cartwheel over Slater and hits the arm drag take down before locking in an arm back. Slater gives Gabriel a drop toehold and locks in a headlock. Gabriel has a hard time escaping but eventually locks in his own headlock. Slater whips him into the ropes but Gabriel hits a shoulder block followed by a overhead take down. Gabriel hits Slater with a hurricanrana to the outside! McIntyre and Mahal try and give Slater a pep talk before Gabriel flies through the ropes and knocks all three men down. The ref sends Mahal and McIntyre to the back! Slater attacks Gabriel from behind but Gabriel quickly fights back and tosses Slater to the outside as we head to break. This is decent so far. It’s nice seeing Slater not being squashed.

-Commercial Break-

We return from break as Slater fights out of an arm bar and Gabriel whips him into the corner. He hits a kick to Slaters face and goes upstairs! Slater jumps onto the top ropes and hits a super body slam for TWO~! Great move from Slater. Slater delivers a stomping to Gabriel before locking in a chinlock. Gabriel quickly fights out but Slater hits him with a bevy of rights to the face. He gives a little air guitar before dropping a knee to Justin’s face. He goes for a cover and gets another two count. Slater goes upstairs and attempts some sort of top rope maneuver but Gabriel gets his foot up. Gabriel delivers a few kicks to Slater before hitting the final kick. He hits a springboard plancha for TWO. He hits another kick to the face but Slater blocks it again! Slater goes for a superplex but Gabriel throws him down to the mat! He hits the 450 and pins Slater for three. This was a nice competitive match that did a lot to make Slater look like less of a jobber.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Justin Gabriel @ 13:21 via pin
RATING: **3/4

OVERALL: Main Event was great tonight. First and foremost, there was only one Raw Rebound for the first time in forever. We had a really good match between Cesaro and Kingston followed by another above average match between Slater and Gabriel. This is definitely an hour of wrestling you should go out of your way to check out.