411’s WWE Smackdown Report 5.03.13

Another Friday night, another Smackdown recap from this guy. The Daniel Bryan vs Ryback match is getting plenty of praise and I’m all for Ambrose main eventing again. Lets see if tonight’s episode delivers!

SHOW… ON!

WWE Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Dolph Ziggler
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
US Champion: Kofi Kingston
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Daniel Bryan and Kane

WWE SMACKDOWN 5.03.13

Then. Now. FOREVER!

– Ryback says that on Raw, he knew John Cena was hurt so therefore he couldn’t tag with him. Cena chose to wrestle, Cena chose to put himself at risk, and ultimately that’s not Ryback’s fault. The bigger, stronger, and faster always eat the weak. Ryback Rules. This was another solid promo from Ryback. I’m not sure about his “Ryback Rules” catchphrase but that’s just nitpicking.

Ryback vs. Daniel Bryan Here we go! They circle to start. Bryan keeps his distance and delivers a few kicks to Ryback’s hamstring. Ryback tries to corner D-Bry but Bryan ducks under a right arm and hits him with a few more kicks in the corner. Ryback catches him, corners him, and delivers a few knees to Bryan’s abdomen. He whips Bryan into the ropes but Bryan gets out of the way and delivers a few more kicks. Again, Ryback catches up with him and delivers some high knees in the corner before hitting him with the scoop slam. He tosses Bryan to the outside but Bryan lands on his feet! Ryback chases him to the outside and Bryan rolls in! He delivers a kick through the middle rope and follows up with a dive through the ropes knocking Ryback down! Ryback’s back in and Bryan gets cornered. Daniel Bryan manages to escape a few power moves and delivers a few kicks to the hamstring in between each. Ryback finally manages to get a good grip on Bryan and he lifts him up for the body press and tosses him over the top rope as we head to commercial break. This is a very fun match so far.

–Commercial Break–

We’re back. Cole says that Ryback has dominated over the break. Ryback grabs Bryan BY THE BEARD and just tosses him like a rag doll. Bryan’s on the apron and Ryback is delivering punches. Ryback hits the ropes and charges at Bryan! Bryan counters with a shoulder thrust but can’t take control. Ryback beats him senseless, slamming his head on the mat multiple times before locking him in the corner and delivering some stiff looking punches to the face. Ryback steps back and charges at him but Bryan gets his foot up. Ryback hits a pretty impressive powerslam and covers him for two! Bryan counters a charge from Ryback into a Thesz press and floats over for a single leg Boston Crab on the leg he’s been working over. Great stuff. Ryback makes it to the ropes and Bryan corners him and delivers two huge dropkicks to the face before going right back to work on the hamstring. He locks Ryback’s leg in the ropes and gives it some running kicks. He goes upstairs and hits a huge dropkick! TWO! Ryback is on his knees and Bryan kicks him in the face! Ryback catches the leg and attempts a powerbomb over the top! Bryan reverses that into a rana to the outside. Bryan gets on the apron and jumps at Ryback but he gets caught! Ryback sends him spine first into the ring post. He rolls Bryan in and dead lifts him up for a powerbomb! He does it again! Ryback sets up for the meat hook clothesline and delivers it. FINISH. IT. SHELL SHOCKED. It’s over. This was a great match. They told a great story and worked the “big man vs. little man” match perfectly. The best part is that Ryback legitimately held his own in there, hitting impressive maneuvers and selling the beaten up hamstring like a pro. I could have watched another ten minutes of this.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Ryback @ 12:12 aired via pinfall
RATING: ***1/2

– We get a replay of the highlights from the triple threat on Raw. Ricardo went over Zeb Colter and Big E Langston. I thought this was a REALLY fun match and agree with fellow 411’er Nick Marsico with the ** rating.

– Ricardo cuts a promo in Spanish backstage and then kisses Renee Young. Alberto steps onto the scene and calms down Ricardo.

– FAN… DAN… GOOOOOOOOO up next.

–Commercial Break–

Fandango vs. Zack Ryder Ryder gets the jobber entrance. Man, his character change is off the hook. He doesn’t take care OR spike his hair anymore. I’m just waiting for the feud with Cena. Fandango is getting some major piped heat during his entrance. *Types the winner before the match starts* Here we go. Fandango starts off with a few knee strikes but Ryder fights back with a drop toe hold. Fandango sidesteps and slams Ryder face first into the mat before delivering a bevy of kicks to the back of Zack’s head. Ryder is hunched over the middle rope and Fandango heads to the outside and hits a nice toe kick to the face of Ryder. Back in and he whips Ryder into the ropes. Ryder reverses with a face plant followed by a dropkick off of the top rope. Ryder hits the Broski Boot. “So changing your hair makes your more aggressive? So you go to your barber and ask for the aggressive cut?” JBL summed that up perfect. Fandango takes Ryder down and hits his leg drop for the victory. This was just a squash. I don’t think squashes are going to keep Fandango over. He could use another program with somebody. I hope I’m wrong. I’m all for new blood getting over.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Fandango @ 3:05 pinfall
RATING: SQUASH

– Backstage, Kaitlyn gets a cheesy love text and reads it to Natalya (who is holding Khali’s arm). Kaitlyn says that Khali always has the best advice. He says some shit to Kaitlyn that I can’t understand. I do hear him say “Any advice you need, get it from me. Don’t stress too much”. I’m legitimately just happy to see an actual episodic storyline being given to a diva.

–Commercial Break–

– They recap John Cena’s appearance on Hoda and Kathy Lee for the Make a Wish Foundation followed by the segment on Raw. Man, WWE needs to stop tooting their own horn so much. It makes all of the great things they do seem like a cheap ploy for publicity when they shove it in our faces like this. Nobody sucks their own dick as much Vince McMahon.

– Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger join Renee Young backstage. Colter says that WWE alters things to better their own personal agenda. On Raw, he had a 102 degree temperature and vertigo but still went to work. People on Twitter said that Zeb’s performance on Monday was one of the single most inspiring moments that they had ever seen. Some people call him a role model. His victory was awarded to an illegal immigrant that has no place in our country. He could go to the police but he’s not going to. He’s going take care of this himself. We the people!

–Commercial Break–

Ricardo Rodriguez (w/ Alberto Del Rio) vs. Zeb Colter (w/ Jack Swagger)Ziggy and AJ are on commentary. Big E is standing next to the announce table holding the World Heavyweight Championship. Colter shoves Ricardo twice before slapping him twice. Ricardo grabs his beard and kicks him in the gut before stomping on his hand. Back to his feet, Colter pushes Ricardo down to the ground and delivers a couple of right hands to the face. Colter beats him up a bit. He turns around for some advice from Swagger but Ricardo catches him with a couple of hard rights. Swagger comes in and clotheslines Ricardo down for the DQ.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Ricardo Rodriguez @ 1:53 via DQ
RATING: N/R

– Teddy Long makes his way out to the ramp and… well shit, you know the drill. Ziggler says, “Classic Teddy! Coming out and booking a tag match.” At least they acknowledge their repetitive booking.

–Commercial Break–

Ricardo Rodriguez and Alberto Del Rio vs. Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger Swagger is in control of Ricardo as we come back from commercial. Swagger whips Ricardo into the shoulder and attempts to spear him, but Ricardo leapfrogs him! In comes Alberto. He comes in hot and hits a tilt-a-whirl back breaker, followed by his rib shots into the lung blower. Dolph and Big E get involved and attack everybody for a Double DQ.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Double DQ @ 0:50 aired via DQ
RATING: N/R

– Out comes Teddy to book a triple threat tag team match. I can’t tell if they’re taking a piss on their own booking or not. I’m not saying this isn’t entertaining, but this kind of seems like they’re making fun of themselves.

Ricardo and Alberto vs. Colter and Swagger vs. Big E and Ziggy Alberto and Ziggler start us off. Alberto hits a snapmare followed by a kick to the back of the head for two. In comes Ricardo. He kicks Ziggler in the head and pins him for two. He hits a dropkick to the face before tagging in Del Rio. Alberto kicks Dolph in the back of the head and gets two. Ziggler fights back and delivers a dropkick to Alberto for two before tagging in Big E. If you guys don’t watch NXT, I highly recommend checking out one or two Langston matches. This dude has the tools to get over in a major way. He shoves Alberto in the corner and nails him with a huge shoulder thrust. Ziggler fights back and hits a huge splash to Alberto in the corner. He goes for a cover and gets two. Del Rio fights back with some punches and chops before whipping Ziggler into the ropes and tossing him up in the air for a huge fall onto his stomach. Both men make it to their feet and Ziggler fights back with a neck breaker. Ziggler tags in Big E. Big E already has hit singlet pulled down, so he obviously means business. He hits Alberto with a huge back body drop and shoves Alberto into the corner spine first, followed by a spear. He tags Ziggler back in. Ziggler charges Alberto and there’s nobody home. Ziggler tags in Swagger. Things are breaking loose and everybody is attacking each other. It ends up with Zeb and Alberto. Ziggler hits a fucking HUGE DDT on Alberto but Alberto kicks out at 2. Alberto and Ziggler are in now! Del Rio locks in the cross arm breaker and Ziggler taps out. Cool, the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION takes another loss. Why couldn’t somebody else take the tap out? This was decent at the very best.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Ricardo Rodriguez and Alberto Del Rio @ 6:26 aired via submission
RATING: *1/2

– We get another Shield interview from backstage. They beat the hell out of Daniel Bryan while calling out Kane. They took his brother down and Kane is next. Kane doesn’t believe them. By the end of the night, Kane will believe in The Shield. They turn around and beat up Bryan a bit more before walking away.

–Commercial Break–

RAW REBOUND This is why you’re all reading right? You want to know what happened on Raw? LOL JK. Heyman challenges Trips on behalf of Lesnar two weeks ago. Triple H comes out and pedigrees Heyman on Raw a week later. Triple H looks like such a threat when he pedigrees overweight men a decade older than him, AMIRITE?

–Commercial Break–

– Backstage the refs and a trainer are checking on Bryan. His shirt is ripped and he’s holding his stomach. The refs carry him off out of the locker room.

Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow Orton locks in a side headlock to start. He follows up with a take down before they have a standoff. Why is Orton wrestling Team Rhodes Scholars back to back? It legitimately has nothing to do with what he’s involved with. Sandow gets back on offense with some kicks. He hits a snapmare takedown followed by a knee to the face for TWO! Orton’s quick to take control and hit a powerslam. He hits his patented DDT off of the middle rope. NO! Sandow escapes and chokes him on the top rope before sending Orton into the barricade as we head to another commercial break!

–Commercial Break–

We’re back as Orton delivers a nice suplex to Sandow. Sandow hits Orton with a DDT and only gets two during a quick comeback. He hits Orton with his signature leg sweep followed by two Elbow of Disdains. They lock up and Orton comes out on top with a headbutt and an uppercut. Sandow says “fuck selling that shit” and hits the ropes before hitting a pretty dropkick for TWO! Orton fights back and Sandow rolls to the outside. ORTON WITH A DDT OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE. RKO! It’s over! This isn’t even comparable to the match Orton had with Cody Rhodes on Raw. It was essentially an elongated squash. Sandow never looked like a threat but it’s not that big of a deal. Rhodes is either higher on the totem pole with management or got a longer match solely because Raw is longer.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Randy Orton @ 6:43 aired via pinfall
RATING: *3/4

–Commercial Break–

THE OFFICIAL RAW REBOUND: Despite all of the replays, this is *technically* the Raw Rebound. Lets see some more Shield action. If they keep airing this shit so much, I’m afraid people are going to turn on it. I love The Shield, but they’re on the verge of becoming over-saturated.

–Commercial Break–

– Sheamus and Henry have an arm wrestling contest. His theme hits as he exclaims that’s what he does. Sheamus challenges Henry to a right arm battle and Henry wins. Sheamus follows up by challenging Henry to a left arm wrestling contest. Sheamus comes out on top by cheap shotting Henry. This wasn’t a great segment. Henry has gone from strong as fuck to looking like a loser in the matter of weeks due to the booking of this feud. Sheamus is making him look like a fool. I want to see Henry be a killing machine!

– We get a recap of Paul Heyman challenging Triple H to a steel cage match for Lesnar. Am I the only one who doesn’t want to see this match a third time? I didn’t want to see it a second time and a cage is just going to limit what they’re going to do. I’m expecting a bigger letdown than Mania. If I’m wrong, I’ll probably enjoy the match a fuck load due to low expectations. I don’t see that happening though.

– Big Show comes out and verbalizes that Randy Orton says he isn’t a team player and doesn’t care about his teammates. Sandow attacks Orton while he’s distracted by Show. Big Show should be the face in this feud considering his plethora of valid points.

–Commercial Break–

Kane vs. Dean Ambrose (w/ Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) Kane fights off The Shield before the match. He quickly tosses Ambrose to the outside and slams him head first on the announce table. Reigns and Rollins are doing their best to help out from the apron as we head to our last commercial break.

–Commercial Break–

We’re back as Dean Ambrose is in complete control. They show us a WWE App exclusive which is ridiculous if they’re showing it on air. Not so exclusive. Ambrose is beating the hell out of Kane in the corner. It’s so refreshing to see somebody get this kind of offense on Kane. Ambrose goes to the top rope, but Kane sends him down to the mat. Kane hits a sidewalk slam! Ambrose covers for two! Kane hits a top rope clothesline for another two! Ambrose takes a chokeslam! Kane sets up for the tombstone but Rollins distracts Kane! They brawl on the outside and Kane sends Rollins into the stairs. Ambrose takes Kane out with the Bulldog Driver for the win! There was nothing special about the match, but it’s nice to see Ambrose come out on top again. BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!

OFFICIAL RESULT: Dean Ambrose @ 7:37 aired via pinfall
RATING: **

OVERALL This was another solid Smackdown and I’m starting to enjoy the B show far more than the A show. The matches weren’t very good but I really appreciate the way they’re building up some of these programs. The booking of the World Heavyweight Championship picture was entertaining, despite the matches not being all that great. Go out of your way to see D-Bry vs. Ryback! Thank you for reading.

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