411’s WWE Smackdown Report 5.10.13

Welcome to another official 411 Smackdown Report! I’m going to try and follow up my critically acclaimed review last week with another winner! Lets see what happens!

SHOW… ON!

Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Dolph Ziggler
US Champion: Kofi Kingston
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Kane & Daniel Bryan

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WWE Smackdown Report 5.10.13

Then. Now. ANNNNNNNNNNND forever.

– Chris Jericho is in the ring accompanied by his Highlight Reel set up. His guest tonight is wrestling John Cena in a Last Man Standing match in nine days. FEED ME MOREEEE. They recap the ending to this Monday’s Raw in which John Cena and Daniel Bryan attempted to fight off The Shield before Ryback hit Cena with a chair. Jericho says that he usually tries to mess with his guests and poke fun at them. Jericho brings up how many times Ryback’s been screwed out of the title. He understands that Ryback needs to do whatever he needs to do to win the title. Ryback tells Jericho not to judge him, but the Jerichoholics are judging Ryback with a spattering of boos. Jericho says that if Ryback wins the title by defeating a one legged John Cena in an LMS match that he’s going to lose the respect of the WWE Universe. Ryback and Jericho are close to getting into a brawl before Teddy Long comes out and books them in tonight’s main event. Ryback cheap shots Jericho before exiting the ring to a chorus of boos.

–Commercial Break–

Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes Cody enters during the break as you probably expected. They circle to start and try out a test of strength. Cody comes out on top before exchanging a few hip toss attempts with Kofi. Cody Rhodes is on the receiving end of a few arm drags before Kofi fights back with a knee to the gut. Kofi kicks out at one and Cody stays on offense with a nice front face suplex. Cody follows through with a few stomps and he locks in an arm bar. Kingston snapmares his way out of that and delivers a bevy of dropkicks. Kofi gets a roll up and gets TWO. They do some Irish whip jumping and jiving before Cody comes out on top. He whips Kofi into the corner and charges at him but Kofi gets his foot up. Kofi hits a crossbody and rolls through for a two count! Rhodes makes it to his feet and attempts to hit the Cross Rhodes but Kofi shoves him off. Cody goes for the disaster kick but Kofi catches him with Trouble in Paradise for the win. This wasn’t a bad little match but it was too short to be anything special. Nobody walks away from this one looking any better than they did beforehand.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Kofi Kingston @ 3:29 aired via pinfall
RATING: *1/2

–Commercial Break–

– We get clips from Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman invading WWE Headquarters. They follow that up with clips from the Heyman/Triple H promo. Lets hope these guys can deliver inside of a cage. They’ll meet face to face on Monday.

– Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter are backstage with Renee Young. Zeb calls her Reba. He says that Jack Swagger served a statement on Monday by taking out four guys. He’s going to serve another statement today by taking out Big E. We the people.

–Commercial Break–

Big E Langston (w/ Dolph Ziggler and AJ) vs. Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Colter) They’re slowly starting to give Big E his NXT identity. His theme is about a five count and now he’s doing his chalk entrance. I still stand by the fact that he could be a huge deal one day if booked properly. Alberto Del Rio is on commentary. They replay Jack Swagger fucking everybody up with the ladder on Monday. Alberto tosses a ladder into the ring before the bell rings. Langston and Swagger have a tug of war over the ladder. Colter distracts Big E and Swagger rolls him to the outside. Things are breaking loose here, people. Ziggler dropkicks the ladder into Swagger’s face. He follows up with a sliding dropkick into the ladder on the apron that hits Colter dead on. Del Rio gets in the ring and nails Ziggler with a few kicks before slamming the ladder on him. He takes the ladder to the outside and launches the ladder into Swagger’s face. He puts the ladder back in the ring as the crowd starts a “si, si. si” chant. He sets the ladder up and climbs to the top. He holds up the championship and the crowd pops. The match never got underway, as this was pretty much all angle advancement. The build up to the triple threat has been fantastic in my opinion. This segment did a great job of showing what these guys will do with a ladder and how bad they all want the championship. If creative tried this hard with every program, things would be a lot more interesting. Also, I’m very glad that Big E didn’t have to take a loss here. I was worried about that before it started but they managed to keep him looking strong. This was a good segment.

OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest
RATING: N/R

–Commercial Break–

Daniel Bryan (w/ Kane) vs. Dean Ambrose (w/ Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns) I’m really looking forward to this one. I wouldn’t mind a Rollins/Bryan match before this feud is over but I digress. This will definitely do for now. I’m still amazed at how strongly these guys are being booked in an era where everybody is perpetually not pushed. Bryan starts the match off with a huge high knee and corners Ambrose. Ambrose rakes him in the eyes and tries to get on offense but Bryan catches him with a knee to the gut. Ambrose hits the mat and D-Bry delivers a plethora of kicks to his back. He makes it to his feet and manages to block a punch and get some striking offense of his own in. Ambrose corners Bryan and delivers a few chops. He whips Bryan to the adjacent corner but Bryan flips off of the turnbuckle and hits a clothesline. Ambrose ends up on his knees and Bryan delivers a bevy of kicks to the chest of Ambrose. Dean rolls to the outside and D-Bry launches himself through the second rope onto him. The match will continue after the…

–Commercial Break–

We’re back as Ambrose is in control. He drops an elbow on Bryan’s chest and covers him for two. During the break, he dropped Bryan neck first on the top rope and maintained control from there. Ambrose crosses Bryan’s arms over his throat and chokes him out with his own limbs. I love that move. D-Bry trys to fights out but ends up back on the mat. NERVE HOLD BY AMROSE~! He’s fucking up Bryan’s nerves, man. Bryan makes it to his feet and fights him off with a few punches. He hits the ropes but Ambrose hits him with a knee to the gut and stays in control. He follows up with a very stiff looking dropkick. He covers Bryan for two and locks in a headlock. Bryan makes it to his feet and eats a headbutt. Ambrose corners him and charges at him for a spear but Bryan moves out of the way! Ambrose goes shoulder first into the ring post! Ambrose makes it to his feet in the corner and D-Bry delivers a huge running dropkick. He hits him with some Yes kicks and then puts him the tree of woe. He delivers some more kicks there and then follows up with a huge dropkick to Ambrose while he’s still upside down. Bryan covers and gets two. Dean Ambrose and Daniel Bryan both deliver some punches before Ambrose grabs a nice roll up for two. Daniel Bryan hits a missile dropkick off of the top rope and still only gets two. Daniel Bryan lifts him up to send some punches his way but Dean battles back! He reverses a kick from D-Bry into an awesome looking face buster and only gets two. You can tell by how the announcers talk about Ambrose that he’s the number one Shield member backstage. Ambrose picks Bryan up and delivers a few knee strikes to Bryan’s face. He’s really impressing me in this match. He attempts to hit a short arm clothesline but Bryan reverses into the No Lock. Rollins tries to break up the pinfall but the ref catches him. Reigns comes from the other side behind the ref’s back and breaks up the hold! Kofi Kingston runs down to the ring and attacks Ambrose for the DQ. This was turning into a VERY good match before the ending. Kingston gets his payback from Monday night and we get some cookie cutter booking for a six man tag in the near future.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Dean Ambrose @ 9:35 aired via DQ
RATING: ***

– They replay Teddy Long booking Ryback vs. Jericho for tonight’s main event. Ryback isn’t going to last portraying this character. He’s doing the best he can, but it’s not going to work long term.

– We get a clip of Mark Henry with a rope tied around him pulling a huge tractor trailer that weighed 55,000 pounds. Up next, he’s going to pull two and break a world record. That’s 110,000 pounds.

–Commercial Break–

– We get a recap of Mark Henry whipping the shit out of Sheamus on Raw. If you haven’t seen Sheamus’ back after the match, check it out. He really took one for the team here.

– We get a graphic of Sheamus vs. Henry at Extreme Rules as the announcers officially declare it a strap match.

– Henry’s in the parking lot getting ready to pull two trucks. Matt Striker joins him and interviews him. Am I the only one that’s completely annoyed by Striker? Striker tells him that he’s going to attempt to break a world record. The word “attempt” pisses Henry off. He’s going to show us what he can do. Tonight is a demonstration of how he’s going to pull around Sheamus like a rag doll at Extreme Rules. He tells Striker to get out of his way before he makes history. Henry struggles with it to start. Striker asks him if he’s sure he can accomplish this. Henry tells him to move and tries again but the trucks don’t budge. Striker tells Henry that he seems to be struggling and that amps Henry up. That was the motivation he needed. He pulled them both in an awesome visual. He falls to the ground from exhaustion and eventually makes it to his feet before exclaiming “THAT’S WHAT I DO”. This was a great segment. It’s really hard to pull for Sheamus in their match when they book Henry like this. Sheamus hits him with cheap shots every segment they’re in and Henry looks like a badass when Sheamus isn’t involved. I’d love to see Henry/Cena headline a PPV.

–Commercial Break–

RAW REBOUND I’ve figured out the formula. They air 3-5 Raw recaps per Smackdown but the official rebound is the segment that includes Cena. Got it. They show Ryback choosing Last Man Standing as the stipulation for his match against Cena next Sunday, followed by his victory over Kane. They proceed to show him puss out when The Shield comes down to the ring. The booking of heel Ryback is questionable at the very best.

– Renee Young is backstage with Randy Orton. She takes Orton back to Monday when Show nailed Orton with a KO punch. Orton says that his message to Big Show is that there will be no antidote for what he’s going to do to Show. This wasn’t a very good promo but it wasn’t on Orton. The writing was just cheesy.

–Commercial Break–

Big Show vs. Sweet T (w/ the Funkadactyls and Brodus Clay) Remember when these two teamed up in a handicap match against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania? Well don’t remember it. We’re not supposed to. Big Show and Tensai battle each other with punches and headbutts. Sweet T comes out on top and corners Show. He hits a huge splash in the corner and goes for his finish. Big Show shoves him off and nails him with a KO punch for the pinfall victory. This wasn’t a squash because Tensai was dominating the entire time. Big Show hit his KO punch and got the victory. This was a good way to put over Show’s finisher while maintaining that Tensai is strong and can hang. I think he could still get a main event run if they slapped on a good gimmick for him.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Big Show @ 1:01 aired via pinfall
RATING: N/R

– Big Show gives Brodus a spear after the match. He sets up for the KO punch but Orton slides in the ring and hits an RKO out of nowhere. Good post match angle.

– Backstage, AJ calls Kaitlyn man arms. She asks who is texting Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn suggests that maybe Ziggler may be the one sending her the texts. AJ says that a woman shouldn’t be able to bench more than her man can before Kaitlyn comes back by telling AJ that she has the body of an 18 year old boy. Natalya walks onto the scene and asks if there’s a problem here. AJ says “later gentlemen” and walks away. Natalya and Kaitlyn discuss who could be behind the texts. Khali walks up with a Mysterio mask on and says “booyaka, booyaka 619!” Kaitlyn says that Khali doesn’t need to wear a mask when he’s undercover. Natalya turns around to tell Khali that he doesn’t need to go undercover… or look like Cody Rhodes. The camera pans to the left and reveals Khali wearing a fake mustache. This was another really good segment. AJ and Kaitlyn had a nice little argument and the Khali stuff was actually pretty funny.

– Jericho makes his way down to the ring before we head to…

–Commercial Break–

Chris Jericho vs. Ryback FEED. ME. MORRRRRE. No, legitimately. I just ordered an amazing deep dish from Papa Romanos and I’d love for my wife to feed me more as I type. She’s not going to feed me as I type however. Whatever, I wasn’t hungry anyway… The bell rings and they lock up to start. Ryback throws him down to the mat three times before Jericho fights back with a dropkick. Ryback sends him through the ropes into the barricade and continues his initial assault on the outside. He rolls Jericho back in and Jericho hits an uppercut to regain control. He corners Ryback and delivers a few kicks before Ryback fights out with a toe kick of his own. He punches Jericho a few times and chokes him with his boot. Heat segment time. He beats on Jericho a bit and locks in a headlock. Jericho fights back with a few forearms. Ryback rolls onto the apron and takes a dropkick back down to the mat. Ryback is about to get back in the ring but steps away as the crowd boos.

–Commercial Break–

We’re back! Ryback is stomping away at Jericho as we return from the break. He locks in a back body lock and Jericho makes it to his feet. JBL brings his Last Man Standing match up that I had mentioned earlier. That match was *so* much better than it had any right to be. **** easily. Jericho hits the ropes and eats a spinebuster from Ryback. He gets two and locks in a chinlock. Jericho makes it to his feet and hits a few elbows. He can’t take the big man down and Ryback tosses him over the top rope. Y2J lands on the apron, runs to the top rope, and hits a nice missile dropkick. Ryback takes him down with a side slam and goes for a running splash but Jericho moves out of the way. Jericho follows up with a Lionsault and misses. Ryback regains control with a huge powerslam and few other generic power moves. That’s absolutely not an insult though. Ryback is making his shit look good. Ryback hits Jericho with a scoop slam! He corners Jericho and charges at him but Jericho hits a nice dropkick to the knees that takes Ryback down. Jericho attempts to lock in the walls but Ryback fights him off. He hits a meat hook clothesline and goes for Shell Shocked. Jericho slips out and goes for the Walls of Jericho again! He’s got him! Ryback powers himself up to a push-up position and crawls to the ropes. Jericho hits a Code Breaker and Ryback rolls to the outside where he can’t be pinned. Jericho follows him to the outside but Ryback shoves him into the barricade. Ryback is back in control and lifts Jericho up and sends him nut first into the ring post. I’ve legitimately seen over 100 matches with ring post spots that didn’t end in DQ. This was a good match but the ending was just stupid. It’s a classic instance of WWE making up rules when it works with the story.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Chris Jericho @ 7:20 via DQ
RATING: **1/2

OVERALL: Tonight’s show didn’t have the best finishes, sure. All of the wrestling was solid however, and the storyline advancement was some of the best they’ve delivered as of lately. Check it out if you want some good current product. There are no classics to view though.

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