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411’s WWE Raw Report 5.13.13
Old school graphic…
Welcome to 411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 5.13.13
Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Dolph Ziggler
US Champion: Kofi Kingston
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Daniel Bryan and Kane
–We are LIVE from Tulsa Oklahoma.
–Reminder, I do not rate matches that are under three minutes long…
-We get highlights from last week’s Raw, including Brock Lesnar destroying Triple H’s office and Ryback taking out John Cena to close the show last week.
Jerry Lawler is in the ring, and discusses Fandango’s early success and then shows footage of Fandango winning at WrestleMania. Fandango and Summer Rae are out first. They even have a dance floor in the ring for them. Chris Jericho and his partner Edyta Sliwinska (she is from Dancing with the Stars and a professional ballroom dancer) now make their way out. Lawler says each team gets 90-seconds for their routine, and once they have completed their dance, the fans will select the winners. Lawler says this is not a popularity contest, and reminds Fandango he lost in a dance contest to Khali a few weeks back. Fandango refutes this, saying the crowd knows nothing about talent. He says these fans will respect his talent. He also says he knows he will defeat Chris Jericho tonight, because he is the better man. Jericho welcomes us to Raw is Jericho, and brings up his musical chairs victory on Raw form the past and the fact that he won the Price is Raw. He knows he will win tonight and then at Extreme Rules, he will create a new dance sensation the “I just kicked your jackass all over the ring.” At Extreme Rules he will dance all over Fandango’s face, and he will never, EEEEEEEEEEVER be the same, again.
Fandango won the coin toss earlier today, and he and Summer dance. Well, they just pose actually and Fandango cuts the music. He grabs the mic and says that he needs silence to create magic. The music starts again and they dance, but Summer falls down and twists her ankle. Fandango is pissed about this. Edyta checks on her and so does a WWE trainer. Fandango bails on his partner and then rushes back in and lays out Jericho with a boot to the face. Mounted rights by Fandango, and then a boot to the gut sending Jericho to the floor. He slams Jericho to the announce table and then to the steps. Fandango then tosses him to the barricade and then grabs a piece of the dance floor. He charges Jericho and lays him out with it. Fandango then gets in the ring and Summer gets to her feet, because SHE’S A BIG OLD FAKER! They pose in victory.
-John Cena and Team Hell No face the Shield in an elimination tag match TONIGHT!
-Ryback walks.
Zack got the jobbers entrance. He is also wearing long tights this week. Ryback with boots to the gut, and then tosses Ryder to the mat as he tried a cross body. Ryback doesn’t fuck around and hits the shell shock for the win.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Ryback @ 1:00 via pin
RATING: NR
-They discuss the fact that Cena is undefeated at Extreme Rules.
-Triple H and Brock Lesnar go face to face later tonight.
-We get a video history of the Lesnar vs. Hs feud.
Young is sent to the corner and a cannonball by Sweet T to kick things off. O’Neil is in off the tag and works over Sweet T in the corner and barks in celebration. Sweet T avoids a charge, tag to Clay and he connects with clotheslines. Big corner splash by Clay, tosses Young to the floor and as Clay goes for a splash on O’Neil, Young is back in. Clay tries to take him out, but Young hits him in the throat with his hair pick and O’Neil gets a quick roll up and the tights for the win.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Prime Time Players @ 2:00 via pin
RATING: NR
-We get video of Dolph Ziggler getting a concussion on Smackdown.
-Teddy Long will be here next to address the world title match at Extreme Rules.
-Matt Striker introduces Teddy Long, who is the senior advisor to Smackdown. They say that Ziggler will not be cleared for Extreme Rules. Long says that since Ziggler cannot defend the title… Wait, Dirty Dutch and Swagger are here and say Ziggler should be stripped and Swagger should be champion. AJ and Big E are out and say the title will go nowhere. AJ says Swagger should be suspended for his actions. Long chimes back in and says that Ziggler will not be stripped of the title. On the PPV, Swagger and Del Rio will face off in a number one contender’s I QUIT match. Langston will wrestle tonight against Swagger or Del Rio. The WWE Universe will vote for the opponent.
-Damien Sandow says he will not be signing a song tonight, because Kofi’s song, just like his title reign, is foolish. The founding fathers were men of their word, so Sandow says mark his words, Kofi’s reign as champion will soon come to an end. You’re welcome.
Quick roll up by Kofi for 2. Knee by Sandow, and then lays the boots to Kofi. Knees follow and then the Russian leg sweep Elbow with the fancy name connects for 2. Abdominal stretch by Sandow, Kofi fights out and sends Sandow to the corner. Chops by Kofi, dropkick follows. A clothesline off the ropes connects, boom drop follows and also connects. Kofi then misses a cross body off the top, neck breaker by Sandow gets a close 2. Kofi counters a suplex, trouble in paradise and that is all.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Kofi Kingston @ 2:50 via pin
RATING: NR
-Mark Henry walks.
-Mark Henry heads to the ring. To hype the strap match between Henry and Sheamus, they show highlights of JBL vs. Eddie Guerrero’s bullrope match. Josh Matthews is in the ring with Henry, and we see a video history of the feud between the two men, and last week’s whipping by Henry. Henry promises a true WHOOPIN on Sunday. We then see footage of Mark Henry being STRONG on Smackdown. Henry then says he will show Matthews how he will do things, and demands Matthews put the strap on his wrist. RUN DUMB ASS RUN! Henry then explains how he will do things by tossing Matthews to the mat and then starts touching corners as he drags him around. Henry releases Matthews and calls him a rat. He’s feeling generous, and says why wait and calls out Sheamus. Sheamus makes his way out to the ramp and says that Henry may be strong, but he is not smart. Henry then says Sheamus is talking, but he is RIGHT HERE and says to come on down if he feels like getting some. Sheamus doesn’t want to hit the ring because Henry has the strap, and Sheamus says he never backs down. Sheamus then makes his way to the ring and then tells Henry to back his big ass up so he can enter the ring. Sheamus says he was out there earlier and left a present for Henry and retrieves another strap. They start brawling and whip the shit out of each other and Henry has to bail. Sheamus stands tall.
-We get footage of Brock Lesnar attacking Vince McMahon from earlier this year.
-We get a trailer for 12 Rounds 2: Reloaded. What a stupid ass name.
Lock up, to the corner and they break. Side headlock by Cesaro, but Orton battles back and lays the boots to his face. They work to the corner, head butt by Cesaro as the ref was working to get them to break. Charging uppercut by Cesaro and a cover gets 2. Cesaro now works a Chinlock, trying to ground Orton. Orton works to his feet, off the ropes and an overhead throw by Orton. A clothesline follows by Orton, and then the snap slam connects. Cesaro to the apron, Orton snags him and looks for the hangman’s DDT, but Cesaro counters with a roll up for 2. RKO by Orton, and that is all.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Randy Orton @ 2:50 via pin
RATING: NR
Lock up, Miz works the arm but Slater elbows out. Off the ropes and a knee by Miz. Running boot connects, and then the corner clothesline countered. Miz slides under and rolls up Slater for 2. neck breaker by Miz and a cover gets 2. Mahal and McIntyre distract Miz, leg lariat by Slater gets 2. Rights follow and Slater celebrates, and follows that with jabs. Chinlock by Slater, Miz elbows out and snap mares Slater. Miz with a clothesline, running knees follow. Corner clothesline by Miz connects, up top and gets the double axe handle. Figure four by Miz, but Slater gets to the ropes before he locks it in. Slater up top, Miz stops that and then follows him up and lands rights. He fights off Mahal, and tosses Slater onto McIntyre and Mahal. Miz tosses Slater back in, dropkicks the knee and locks in the figure four. Slater submits.
OFFICIAL RESULT: The Miz @ 4:00 via submission
RATING: *½
-We see video of Triple H’s return and beating of Brock Lesnar. They go face to face later tonight.
-On the Extreme Rules pre-show, Cody Rhodes faces The Miz.
-This week on Main Event, Kane battles Seth Rollins in the featured match.
Kane and Ambrose to begin the match. Off the ropes and a shoulder block by Kane. Side headlock takedown, Ambrose fights to his feet and takes Kane to the corner. They trade rights, tag to Bryan and he lays the boots to Ambrose. Bryan takes him down and works a submission, into a hammerlock but Ambrose elbows out. Rollins tags in, front facelock by Bryan and a tag to Cena. He tosses Rollins to the corner, running bulldog connects for 2. We head to a commercial…
Back from a commercial as Bryan works for a surfboard on Ambrose. Bryan tags in Kane, who connects with the basement dropkick, and he covers for 2. back to the corner, tag back to Bryan and uppercuts connect on Ambrose. Ambrose shoves Bryan to the corner, tags in Rollins and he lays the boots to Bryan in the corner. Tag to Reigns now, and he slams Bryan face first to the mat. Shoulder block also connects, and then works the chinlock. Bryan tries to elbow out, off the ropes and runs into another shoulder block and Reigns covers for 2. Tag back to Ambrose, dropkick to Bryan and Rollins blind tagged in and hits a charging dropkick and covers Bryan for 2. Shield in control here as Rollins grounds Bryan with the chinlock. Bryan again looks to battle out, but Rollins cuts him off and tags in Ambrose. Elbow drop by Ambrose, and a cover gets 2. Ambrose with a chinlock now, Bryan works to escape and does. Elbows follow, off the ropes and a knee to the gut by Ambrose. Bryan rallies, tags Kane and he gets the corner clothesline on Ambrose. Side slam follows, knocks Reigns to the floor and DDTs Ambrose and covers for 2. Kane up top, clothesline connects. Sets for a chokeslam, Rollins in and Kane tosses both of them to the floor. He fights off Reigns as well and Kane then to the floor. Tosses Ambrose to the barricade, and then tosses Rollins to the post and Reigns to the steps. Kane grabs a piece of the announcer’s table and hits Ambrose with it and is eliminated due to disqualification. Kane is gone as we head to commercial.
Back from commercial as Ambrose plants Cena with a DDT and covers for 2. Tag to Reigns, and he lays the boots to Cena. Leaping Superman punch from Reigns, and that gets 2. Clubbing shots to the back by Reigns, looks for a suplex by Cena counters. Tag to Rollins, up top and leaps off and hits the flying knee and covers for 2. Rollins then lays the boots to Cena and locks in the sleeper with the body figure foured. Cena to his feet with Rollins on his back. He looks for the tag, gets close and makes the tag. Bryan in and dropkicks both Ambrose and Reigns to the floor. Rights to Rollins, counter and SUICIDE DIVE to Reigns! Stops Rollins as he looked for a dive up top, MISSILE DROPKICK and Rollins is out at 2! Kicks by Bryan to Rollins, looks for the no lock, Rollins fights and Ambrose blind tags in and a leaping kick by Rollins and bull dog driver by Ambrose is enough to eliminate Bryan. It is three on one here with the Shield in full force against John Cena. Cena in and charges their corner and looks to fight, but Reigns is in and he and Rollins lay the boots to Cena. Cena battles back again, shoulder blocks to Rollins. Proto bomb, five-knuckle shuffle connects. AA countered, Cena tosses Ambrose. Tosses Reigns. AA on Rollins connects and Rollins is eliminated. Reigns tosses the ref aside and SPEARS Cena and Reigns is eliminated as he was saving Ambrose from the AA. It is Cena vs. Ambrose, and he crawls in and covers Cena for 2. Ambrose slaps Cena, who then grabs him in the STF. Rollins and Reigns make the save for the DQ.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Cena, Kane and Bryan @ 24:00 via DQ
RATING: ***¾
-The Shield beat down Cena and hit the Shield Bomb to stand tall. Ryback’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Ryback stands over the fallen Cena, and then walks away. Nope, changes his mind and returns. He grabs a chair and nails Cena’s bad ankle with it. Ryback apparently rules.
-Ryback walks and Matt Striker catches up with him. Ryback says he played by the riles, but he constantly got screwed. Not any more, at Extreme Rules, everyone will know Ryback rules.
-The WWE Universe voted for Langston’s opponent, Swagger won with 65% of the vote.
Lock up, they work around the ropes and Swagger gets a headlock takedown. Langston to his feet, off the ropes and they collide mid-ring. Again and neither man will move. They stand off, rights by Langston connect. Shoulder blocks in the corner by Langston, shoots Swagger to the corner, but then misses a charge. Swagger tries the ankle lock but gets kicked to the floor. Stuns Langston off the ropes, gets a but slam and covers for 2. We head to a commercial break…
We are back from commercial as Langston connects with several side back breakers for 2. Shoulder blocks in the corner by Langston, and Swagger is down. Langston misses a charge in the corner and posts himself, and Swagger gets a corner splash and clothesline. Vader splash out of the corner gets 2. Rights by Langston, off the ropes and Langston levels Swagger. Langston sets Swagger up top, follows and looks for and gets a superplex. Langston crawls over and covers for 2. Langston drops the straps, looks for the big ending, Swagger counters and clips the leg. Ankle lock applied and Langston struggles and gets the ropes. Back elbow by Langston and tosses Swagger to the floor. Langston follows and tosses Swagger to the barricade. He sets, charges and Swagger moves and Langston flies to the floor over the barricade. Swagger back in the ring and wins via count out.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Jack Swagger @ 10:00 via count out
RATING: **
-Del Rio hits the ring and brawls with Swagger. Swagger gets the ankle lock, Ricardo breaks that up and eats a kick to the face. Del Rio recovers and gets the cross arm breaker and Swagger taps, but Langston is back in and brawls with Swagger. Kick by Del Rio to Langston, and Del Rio sends Swagger to the floor to stand tall.
-The Bellas and Kaitlyn are in for commentary. Khali and Hornswoggle are also out there.
AJ skips around, go behind and takedown by Natalya. Someone sent Kaitlyn a gift again, snap suplex by Natalya. Natalya then slams AJ to the corner, ref break and AJ tries to bail. She slaps Natalya and then runs from her. Back in, and back out. More running and a kick by AJ. AJ blows kisses to Kaitlyn, and Natalya shoves her to the floor. Natalya drags AJ back into the ring, picks her up and AJ counters into an octopus hold, and Natalya taps.
OFFICIAL RESULT: AJ @ 2:30 via submission
RATING: NR
-Kaitlyn checks on Natalya and helps her from the ring as Khali is over as well to check on here.
-JR is not here tonight because he is hunting hogs with HBK.
-Striker is with Chris Jericho. He asks if Jericho felt fooled, and Jericho says it is all his fault by playing by other people’s games. No more jokes, dances or scoring. He knows who Fandango is, but Jericho is a six-time world champion who has beaten them all. He is Chris Jericho, and Sunday if he wants to dance, Jericho will teach him to dance Jericho style.
-This Friday, Randy Orton and Big Show will appear on the Highlight Reel.
Triple H makes his way out to the ring first. His hands are all taped up, so he’s ready to rumble. The cage also is lowered.
After a commercial, Triple H stands in the cage, waiting on Lesnar. He says that they have been at war for a year, they have bled, broken bones, but nothing has been settled. But it will be on Sunday. He grew up in the ring, became a man in this ring and learned it all here. But he also learned to hate in this ring. As consequences grew, he learned to hate ad thrive on the hate. And he always felt at home in this ring, especially when steel surrounded it. It can rip flesh and break bones, so Brock Lesnar, we’re both here, the fans are here and the steel is here. So come and try to take my home.
Lesnar’s music hits and here he comes with Paul Heyman at his side. They stand on the ramp and Heyman has the mic and introduces himself until Triple H cuts him off. He says we all know who they are and demands Lesnar come to the ring. Heyman tries to hold Lesnar back and says that they are about the pleasures in life. Like the fact that Triple H has been driven to use the word hate, which is taboo in WWE. But that is where he gets pleasure, because Triple H and Lesnar hate each other. This Sunday, Lesnar will teach Triple H the true meaning of the word hate. Lesnar is a cage fighting carnivore and Triple H is a big old slab of meat. And after Sunday, Triple H will hate facing his family after Lesnar disfigures him. Hate facing Vince and knowing he let him down. He will hate that Lesnar will emerge from a war the winner, while Triple H will be the loser. Now Lesnar is here tonight and s ready for a fight, one Triple H will have to wait for Sunday for, because Lesnar doesn’t fight for free.
Heyman and Lesnar leave, but Triple H stops them and says he should have saw this coming. He says Lesnar is a supposed destroyer but will not face him like a man. Triple H says it has nothing to do with Lesnar, but it is because Heyman cannot afford Lesnar to do it since he KO’d Lesnar at WrestleMania. And then he beat him. And if Lesnar comes down here and if it maybe happens again, then it doesn’t bode well for Heyman. And if Sunday he beats Lesnar again, then the sound you will hear is Lesnar’s mystique flying out the window along with Heyman’s meal ticket. He knows Lesnar believes he is the baddest man in the room, but Heyman doesn’t believe it. Triple H asks Lesnar what he will do, will he come to the ring to prove he is BROCK LESNAR, the beast? Or will he just look to Heyman and be the bitch.
Lesnar shoves Heyman aside and walks to the ring. Heyman begs him not to do it, but Lesnar enters the cage slowly and it’s ass-beating time as they brawl! They brawl to the corner, big overhead throw by Lesnar and he demands that they shut the door. Lesnar charges, but Triple H sidesteps him and sends him to the cage. Big rights by triple H, and sends Lesnar to the door and he flies out the door and wipes out Heyman and the referees that were ringside. Triple H challenges Lesnar to come back into the cage. We see replays of the action. Lesnar picks up Heyman and the retreat to the back as Triple H stands tall.
-End scene.
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