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411’s WWE Smackdown Report 5.17.13
Hello readers! I’m Michael Benjamin and this is the final Smackdown on the road to Extreme Rules. Lets get to it!
SHOW… ON!
Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Dolph Ziggler
US Champion: Kofi Kingston
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Kane & Daniel Bryan
Jack Swagger’s music interrupts and he makes his way down to the ring with Zeb Colter. Colter apologizes for breaking up the therapy session. Colter says that Sunday will be memorable, but not because of anything Big Show and Randy do. On Sunday, Swagger is going to make Del Rio say “I quit.” Obviously, this brings out Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez. Alberto tells Colter to shut up. He says the only thing people are going to remember this Sunday is Alberto Del Rio becoming the number one contender.
Here comes Mark Henry. He hears all of them talking about what’s going to be remembered on Sunday. What’s going to be remembered is Henry setting records and pulling semis. People are going to remember him beating Sheamus like nobody has in his life. What will be remembered is that he’s the strongest man in the world. That’s what he does. Here comes Sheamus. He pulls a strap out and asks “why wait for Sunday?” He charges into the ring and the faces clean house. This was a typical Smackdown opening segment disguised as Miz TV. I was expecting Teddy Long to come out and book the six man tag.
– Ah, here comes Teddy Long to the top of the ramp. You know what happens next.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns @ 1:40 aired via pinfall
RATING: N/R
– After the match, The Shield beat down The Usos and Kofi Kingston runs down to make the save. Right as they’re about to triple powerbomb Jey, Kofi starts swinging a steel chair and that sends The Shield packing.
– Backstage, Teddy long is welcoming back The Miz. Sandow steps onto the scene and pitches the “Damien Sandow Show” to Teddy Long. Teddy books Miz vs. Sandow for later tonight and we move on.
– We get a replay from Raw of the six man tag finish and Ryback beating John Cena down with a chair after the match.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Tons of Funk @ 2:18 via pinfall
RATING: N/R
During the break, Cesaro took control. He has a headlock applied and Jericho escapes. He gets a roll up for two and Cesaro clotheslines him back down and slaps on another headlock. Jericho backs Cesaro into a corner to break the hold and delivers an axe handle off the top rope. Cesaro makes it back to his feet and locks in another headlock! Jericho gets him down and goes for the walls to no avail. Cesaro gets the knees up for a lionsault reversal and hits his signature stomp on Jericho’s chest for two. He lifts Jericho up by his ears and whips him into the ropes. Jericho floats over and hits an enziguri. TWO. Jericho lifts up Cesaro and delivers a few punches and chops. He hits the ropes and Cesaro catches him with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker for another nearfall. He stalks Jericho as Y2J makes it to his feet and goes back for the headlock. He tosses Jericho down to his knees and goes for the Neutralizer. Jericho reverses that into the walls but Antonio powers out. Jericho climbs up top for a splash but Cesaro makes it to his feet and catches him with the uppercut! TWOOO! Cesaro’s getting pissed off now. He slaps Jericho in the back of the head a few times and dead lifts him up. Cesaro goes for the gutwrench but Jericho reverses that into the walls of Jericho! This time, Cesaro taps out. This was a really fun match while it lasted. I’d love to see these guys go even longer on Main Event some time though.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Chris Jericho @ 8:18 aired via pinfall
RATING: **3/4
– After the match, Fandango’s music plays and Summer Rae dances atop the stage. Fandango attacks Jericho from behind however, and Jericho doesn’t fall for it! He beats up Fandango and sends him packing.
– We get another taped Colter promo with Swagger in the background. He talks about extremism. Same old toeing the line racist promo that he always delivers.
OFFICIAL RESULT: The Miz @ 4:57 aired via submission
RATING: *3/4
– They show Kaitlyn getting flowers backstage from her secret admirer.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Kaitlyn @ 2:07 aired via pinfall
RATING: N/R
– We get a Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar video package. Like we do every Friday.
– They follow that up with a Raw Rebound of the Triple H/Lesnar segment on Raw. They played almost the ENTIRE segment. I have to assume that the majority of the Smackdown audience watches Raw, right?
We’re back! Swagger charges at Del Rio in the corner but ADR gets out of the way and Swagger goes shoulder first into the ring post! Again, Jack Swagger tags in Big Show and Show pulls ADR back to the middle of the ring. ADR was inches away from the tag. Show goes for a powerbomb but ADR reverses that into the head scissors. In comes Sheamus! Sheamus hits some running strikes. He goes upstairs but Big Show ducks! Sheamus rolls on the mat and comes out unscathed. WHITE NOISE! He goes for the brogue kick but Mark Henry grabs him from the apron. That was enough of a distraction for Big Show to deliver a chokeslam! ONE… TWO… NO! Swagger’s in now. Swagger gives Sheamus a scoop slam and a leg drop for a two count. Sheamus fights back and hits a running senton on Jack Swagger! In comes Henry! He prevents Sheamus from tagging in Randy Orton and goes to work. Stomps and punches ensue. He tags Big Show back in. Sheamus gets to his knees and delivers a few punches to Show’s abdomen. His comeback falters though and he takes a big boot to the face. Big Show lifts him up and gives up five or six chops. Swagger’s back in now. He takes the fight to Sheamus with a few punches and a clothesline. He follows up with the Swagger Bomb and only gets TWO. He attempts it again but Sheamus catches him! He drops Swagger on the mat and in comes Orton. He’s on fire with clotheslines and a powerslam but Mark Henry catches him. Things are breaking down! Swagger locks Alberto Del Rio in the ankle lock and Randy Orton comes out of nowhere with the RKO! That’s all she wrote. This was a textbook six man tag that had enough time to develop and entertain. It was a fine way to close the show and head to Extreme Rules.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Randy Orton @ 13:08 aired via pinfall
RATING: ***
OVERALL: There were a lot of short matches tonight that never got out of first gear. That usually tends to be the case for a go home show. Cesaro/Jericho was pretty good and the six man tag was a fun main event. Still though, this episode of Smackdown was pretty boring with all things considered, especially if you’ve already seen the Lesnar/HHH segment on Raw. 4/10
Be sure to check out Instant Access on Sunday after Extreme Rules for my knee jerk reactions and star ratings. Also, check out my latest YouChoose Review for my take on Backlash 2006. Be sure to vote for what I review next!
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