wrestling / TV Reports

411’s TNA Impact Wrestling Report 5.23.13

May 23, 2013 | Posted by Jonathan Sullivan

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*****

“PREVIOUSLY ON IMPACT WRESTLING” OPENING VIDEO: Hulk Hogan looks for Abyss but finds Joseph Park instead. Park goes on to defeat D-Lo Brown in the main event of last week’s show after seeing his own blood. Sting and Bully Ray add stipulations to their Slammiversary XI main event (No Holds Barred; if Sting loses he can never challenge for the TNA World Title again). Kurt Angle calls out AJ Styles but gets Mr. Anderson instead who announces that Styles will be “patched in” to The Aces & Eights.

—–

We go “live” to the USF Sundome in Tampa, FL and pan the crowd as Todd Keneley welcomes the home audience. Keneley hypes the Knockouts Title match, return of Suicide, and AJ Styles’ potential patching in to The Aces & Eights.

“Not Quite the nWo Theme” kicks up, bringing out GM Hulk Hogan to the ring. Keneley and Mike Tenay talk about how Tampa is Hogan’s hometown so they’re repaying him with both a “Hogan Pop” and a “Hometown Pop”. Tenay lays down some history about Hogan in Tampa, from going to school there to being trained to become a wrestler. The music dies down and the “Hogan” chants rain down on the legend. Hogan says it’s great to be home and naturally the crowd cheers. Hogan puts in a plug for his restaurant Hogan’s Beach and namedrops Shark Boy as his drinking partner. Hogan says this is his home and the crowd is his family. Hogan changes gears to AJ Styles, saying he has apparently decided to cross over to the dark side and join The Aces & Eights. Hogan says he’s not going to dwell on that, however, and calls out his best friend Sting.

Sting makes his way out as the Tampa crowd cheers and Keneley hypes his Slammiversary XI main event against Bully Ray in 10 days. The music dies as Sting gets in the ring and Hogan tells him he appreciates what he’s doing for “the family” (TNA) but the stipulations laid out last week don’t have to happen. Sting says he appreciates the concern but he wants to keep everything the way it is and says he only needs one chance to get this done. Sting fumbles his lines and covers it up by saying he’s too excited to talk then rebounds and says if he can’t take Bully Ray’s power then he doesn’t deserve another shot at the belt. Hogan says once again that Sting doesn’t need to keep that stipulation because he runs the show not Bully.

Brooke Hogan makes her way out to the ring to interrupt the proceedings. Brooke says she’s doesn’t want to see Sting or her father taking the blame for who she fell in love with. Brooke says she drove a wedge between them and between her and her father because of Bully Ray. She calls herself the catalyst for what has happened to TNA and she’s sick of seeing Hulk and Sting take the blame for it. Brooke tries to resign as head of the Knockouts division but Hulk won’t let it happen and tells her to take care of business the way she has.

The Aces & Eights theme kicks up, bringing out TNA World Champion Bully Ray from the back. Ray asks why those three are out here taking the blame for everything; it isn’t any of their faults, it’s his own. Ray says it’s his fault that Hulk doesn’t know how to run TNA, that he stabbed Sting in the back. Ray says he was the one who turned TNA upside down and he runs the show. Ray says there is one person in the ring he does blame and it’s Brooke (wait didn’t he just say…?). Ray says he blames Brooke for making him fall for her; every time he wakes up and goes to sleep he thinks of her. He tells Brooke he still loves her and Brooke immediately goes into upset mode. Ray says he will always love her and that’s why he’ll never take his wedding ring off. The Aces & Eights theme kicks back up and Ray exits as Brooke starts crying.

  • THOUGHTS: …Well that was certainly one way to start this week’s episode off. And by “one way” I mean the “wrong way”. That did not get me excited to watch the rest of tonight’s show in the slightest and while I guess they might be setting up for Brooke to turn back to Ray I could care less. Ugh. There’s nowhere to go but up from here but what a bottom to begin with.

—–

HYPE VIDEO: Suicide returns to TNA next.

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-Commercial Break-

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X-Division Champion Kenny King gets comfortable at the commentary booth as Joey Ryan makes his way out for the next match. Tenay announces that Ryan is the replacement for Zema Ion who’s currently hospitalized. Petey Williams makes his way out second followed by the returning Suicide.

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Match #1: Suicide Vs. Petey Williams Vs. Joey Ryan in an X-Division Contenders Match

Ryan is instantly knocked out to the ring and Suicide takes it to Williams before the latter regains control and sends him out to the floor. Ryan comes back in and goes for a dropkick but Williams avoids it. Ryan quickly rebounds with a pumphandle-ish slam and then oils his chest up. Suicide, meanwhile, climbs to the top and takes Ryan down with a hurricanrana. Suicide applies a deathlock on Ryan then traps Williams in an abdominal stretch at the same time. Williams breaks out and hits a Side Russian legsweep, hurting both Suicide and Ryan who’s still trapped in the deathlock. Williams goes for the Canadian Destroyer but Suicide escapes and hits a back kick. Suicide then sends Ryan outside via fakeout. Williams hits a suicide dive on Ryan on the floor then Suicide follows up and connects with a cannonball to both.

Suicide rolls Ryan back in but Williams trips him up and keeps him on the floor. Williams connects with a move on Ryan and is dragged out to the floor by Suicide. Suicide rolls in and hits a sunset flip on Ryan for the 1…2…Williams breaks the count. Suicide gets caught with a kick by Williams who once again goes for the Destroyer but Ryan drops him with a running big boot. Ryan goes for a corner splash but Suicide floats over and connects with a neckbreaker. Suicide hits a final move on Ryan and covers for the 1…2…3. Suicide goes on to Slammiversary XI to face King and Chris Sabin for the X-Division Title.

Winner [via Pinfall]: Suicide (4:03)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: An alright match but for some reason it felt like it lacked any real energy. King also didn’t add much on commentary in as much that I don’t remember anything worthwhile he said. Suicide winning was the obvious conclusion and since it’s apparently TJ Perkins under the mask (he at least had the same moveset) I guess that’s okay with me. I feel bad that Joey Ryan was only there because Zema Ion was hospitalized and couldn’t show; guy can’t even get a real spot on the show.

—–

Chris Sabin meets up with James Storm in the locker room. Sabin offers up his services to be Storm’s partner at Slammiversary XI, but Storm says he already has a shot to become X-Division Champion and then trade it in for a shot at the World Title and he doesn’t want to take it from him. Sabin tells him to let him know if he changes his mind.

  • THOUGHTS: Well I guess you can still trade in the X-Division Title for a World Title shot despite there not being a Destination X PPV anymore. Good to know. I liked the exchange between the two well enough and it was a nice tease to remind everyone that Storm still needs to pick a partner for Slammiversary XI.

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-Commercial Break-

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Brooke Hogan confronts Bully Ray backstage and with tears in her eyes asks him what it means that he still loves her. Ray calmly says “it means I still love you” and he walks away still loving her.

  • THOUGHTS: Well that was…stupid. Just stupid.

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Mickie James catches up with Velvet Sky backstage who’s taping up her knee. James offers to wait on the match until she’s better but Sky says she’s a fighting champion and won’t let Gail Kim win. James asks her if she’s sure one more time and Sky says she is. They hug and James exits.

—–

Sam Shaw makes his way out for the next match. We see clips of Shaw winning the Gut Check challenge last summer as he makes his way to the ring. Instead of his scheduled opponent Alex Silva, The Aces & Eights come out instead. Wes Brisco has a mic and congratulates Shaw on advancing to the final as he’s left Silva beaten and bloody in the parking lot. Brisco says he should be in this tournament and Shaw is lucky…and he’s about to show him how lucky he really is. Brisco, Garett Bischoff, and D.O.C. enter the ring and commence with an attack on Shaw. Brisco connects with a neckbreaker before Magnus makes his way out and clears the ring. Magnus grabs a mic and tells Brisco he made his personal by attacking his friend Alex Silva. Bischoff smiles at him and Magnus threatens to smack it off. Magnus tells Brisco he’s not in this tournament because he doesn’t deserve it…what he does deserve it to get his teeth kicked down his throat tonight. Magnus tells Brisco he’s got him one on one RIGHT NOW.

  • THOUGHTS: Apparently Alex Silva is suffering from a major concussion so that’s why he was written out of this match. That sucks and I hope he gets well soon. That being said this was not a worthy trade-off; I like Magnus but Brisco? Save for his goofy faces he hasn’t really done much for me.

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Match #2: Magnus Vs. Wes Brisco [w/ Garett Bischoff & D.O.C.]

Magnus goes on the attack immediately with a flying knee and a gutwrench suplex. Brisco bails to the outside and tries to recover as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

Brisco is in control when we come back from break. Brisco works Magnus over in the corner, finishing off with a clothesline. Brisco chokes Magnus with his knee on the middle rope as Keneley pimps TNA’s new workout app (?!?). Brisco applies a rear chinlock then connects with a couple of forearms and an elbow. Brisco goes for the cover but only gets 2. Magnus tries to fight back but eats a knee. Brisco whips Magnus into the ropes and drops him with a back elbow before returning to the rear chinlock. Magnus gets to his feet and starts in with the elbows but Brisco clubs him in the back to stop the offense. Brisco goes back to the corner strikes but takes too much time to gloat and eats a clothesline. Magnus hits a running clothesline but eats a boot during a corner splash attempt. Brisco tries a second rope splash but Magnus catches him and connects with a suplex. Magnus heads to the top and Brisco meets him on the second rope. Magnus clubs him off but Bischoff and D.O.C. interfere to end the match in a DQ.

Winner [via DQ]: Magnus (7:51)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: An alright match I was 100% uninvested in. Blame it on Brisco who hasn’t really shown anything positive in the ring during his TNA tenure. And with Aces & Eights members ringside it was really only a matter of time before they caused a DQ.

POST-MATCH: A 3 on 1 beatdown commences until Samoa Joe makes his return and clears the ring.

  • THOUGHTS: Well that’s a welcome sight. Welcome back Samoa Joe. I’m glad they gave you time to make an im…oh we’re going to commercial now? Okay.

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-Commercial Break-

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Bully Ray is backstage with The Aces & Eights. Ray congratulates Brisco and company for attacking Magnus. Mr. Anderson asks Ray when AJ Styles will be here tonight, and Ray says he’ll be here soon. Ray says that unlike some other disappointments in the club (camera pans over to D-Lo Brown) Styles will not let them down.

  • THOUGHTS: Well I guess Styles is gonna let them down. I liked this segment though as I do with most Aces & Eights meetings. The pan over to a disgraced D-Lo was awesome and hilarious.

—–

VIDEO: Kurt Angle takes his quest to save Olympic wrestling to New York City.

  • THOUGHTS: A worthy cause. Keep fighting the good fight, Mr. Angle.

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Kurt Angle makes his way out for the next match and a sizable reaction from the Tampa crowd. Tenay calls the upcoming match “PPV-Quality”. His opponent, Mr. Anderson, makes his way out next. This match happens after the commercial.

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-Commercial Break-

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Gail Kim is prompted to talk about his upcoming Slammiversary match against Taryn Terrell. Kim goes into a rant about her recent attacks and says she should be in the Knockouts Title match. Terrell comes out of nowhere, in full ring gear, and attacks Kim pretty viciously until a backstage attendant pulls her off. Kim yells “YOU’RE CRAZY!” at Terrell as the attendant tells Terrell to control herself.

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-Commercial Break-

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AJ Styles rolls into the Sundome on a motorcycle (and a tank top).

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Match #3: Kurt Angle Vs. Mr. Anderson

We join the match in progress as Angle takes Anderson down with a headlock. Anderson whips Angle into the ropes and gets taken down with a shoulderblock. Angle walks away, allowing Anderson to get back up. Anderson connects with a boot to the gut and a forearm to the back sending Angle to the corner. Anderson connects with a couple of rights and a forearm. Angle reverses an Irish whip and takes Anderson down with a double forearm. Angle connects with a right hand and sends him into the corner. Angle kicks Anderson’s legs out from under him and stomps a mudhole on the fallen Anderson before choking him with his boot.

Angle follows up with a snap suplex and covers for a 2-count. Angle drives the shoulder in Anderson’s midsection in the corner then whips him to the opposite side. Angle misses the running shoulder tackle and runs right into the ring post. Anderson takes advantage by choking him with his boot. Anderson whips Angle hard into the opposite turnbuckle and Angle instantly crumples to the mat, allowing Anderson to cover for a 2-count. Anderson works Angle’s now hurt shoulder/arm, suplexing “The Olympic Gold Medalist” right on the wing for a 2-count. Angle fights back for a bit but Anderson regains the advantage and repeatedly covers Angle for back to back 2-counts.

Anderson applies an armbar to further hurt Angle’s arm. The crowd brings Angle to life and he whips Anderson off with an armdrag. Angle follows up with a second-rope dropkick and both men are now down. Angle fights through the pain and connects with a flurry of offensive and a belly to belly suplex for 2. Anderson counters the Angle Slam and hits the rolling senton for the 1…2…kickout. Angle ducks a clothesline attempt and hits the three German suplexes in row, releasing on the third. Angle revs up as the crowd goes wild and goes for the Ankle Lock. Anderson kicks Angle off and connects with the MIC CHECK for the 1…2…kickout! Anderson is in shock.

Anderson goes to the top but Angle pops up and jumps to the second rope, taking Anderson down with a belly to belly suplex. Angle pulls down the straps and measures Anderson up as AJ Styles shows up at ringside. Styles and Taz hug, distracting Angle and giving Anderson the opening for a low blow and a roll-up for the 1…2…3!

Winner [via Pinfall]: Mr. Anderson (TIME NOT RECORDED)

—–

VIDEO: James Storm ruins the #1 contendership tag team match between Bad Influence and Aries/Roode, leading to his announcement that he will pick a partner to face Bad Influence, Chavo/Hernandez, and Aries/Roode for the Tag Team Titles at Slammiversary XI.

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James Storm Picks His Tag Team Partner

TNA World Tag Team Champions Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Hernandez are at the announce table (Chavo being the only one with the headset). James Storm makes his way out to the ring to announce his tag team partner as Chavo talks about his own tag team credentials. Storm gets on the mic and pops the crowd by saying there must be a lot of beer drinkers in Tampa. Storm says he’s been a part of two of the greatest tag teams in TNA history, America’s Most Wanted and Beer Money.

Storm says he’s ready to win the belts all over again and makes a crack about women loving a good tag team…wrestler when he’s interrupted by Austin Aries & Bobby Roode. Roode says Storm is looking at the king of tag team wrestling, then says being in Beer Money was the worst four years of his life. Storm says it’s because he couldn’t hang with him drinking-wise. Roode says the night he smashed a beer bottle over Storm’s skull and won the World Title made him the proudest and happiest man on Earth.

Bad Influence (Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian) make their way out to interject their thoughts. Kazarian calls Storm a dumb dummy for turning down the chance to roll with them. Kazarian tells Storm it doesn’t matter who he picks as a tag team partner because whoever he picks will not live up to the standards set by Bad Influence. The two heel teams start bickering and Storm quickly yells to get their attention. Storm then before he announces his partner “Stone Cold” Shark Boy! Shark Boy quickly walks past Aries & Roode and Bad Influence and heads to the ring. Shark Boy grabs a mic and says he swam all the way here to Tampa Bay to be Storm’s partner and asks him to be his partner. Robbie E then makes his way out. Robbie E grabs the mic and says Storm doesn’t want to team with a loser like Shark Boy, he wants to team with someone who will help make him a champion. That someone, if you couldn’t guess, is Robbie E. Robbie E pulls out a piece of paper and says he has some possible names for their team: America’s Most Bro, Beer Bro, 2 Bros and a Baby, Drunken Tan, and Hairspray and Drink All Day. Robbie E then sings a possible theme and Shark Boy snatches the mic out of his hands.

As the two goofy guys bicker out comes Gunner. He stares Storm down then attacks Shark Boy and Robbie E. Gunner takes Robbie E out with a Torture Rack and once again stares Storm down. Aries and Roode try to get Storm to take Shark Boy or Robbie but Storm picks Gunner instead and they shake hands.

  • THOUGHTS: A thoroughly entertaining segment and I was almost embarrassingly overjoyed to see Shark Boy back even with that ridiculous Stone Cold rip-off gimmick (I do love me some puns though). Robbie E’s ideas for team names was amusing as well and between all of that and the little barbs from the two heel teams things were going great…until it screeched to a halt when Gunner showed up. Chavo barely reacting on commentary didn’t help the underwhelming nature of the reveal but hey if Gunner can contribute something then bring it on. To be honest I barely remember anything he’s done in TNA so it’d be rude of me to say anything one way or another about his abilities.

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A split screen of Velvet Sky and Mickie James headed to the ring is shown. The Knockouts Title match is next!

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-Commercial Break-

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Joseph Park is backstage with Sting talking about his upcoming TV Title match against Devon at Slammiversary XI. Park says the boys have told him about getting “the strap” and it sounds like it hurts. Sting tells him not to worry because that’s a good thing then seats Park down. Sting says he’s in a tag team match next week and asks Park if Abyss could possibly show up. Park says he has no idea about his brother and Sting sighs and asks for something close: Joseph Park himself. Park agrees to it excitedly and runs off.

  • THOUGHTS: Finally, FINALLY, Sting brings up the fact that people know Park and Abyss are the same person. About time. It was subtle but it was the best part of this segment. My hypothesis for next week: Sting causes Park to bleed in order to bring out “The Monster” and win the match.

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After Keneley and company run through some of the big Slammiversary XI matches, Mickie James makes her way out for the wrestling main event. Her opponent, TNA Knockouts Champion Velvet Sky, makes her way out second. ODB is in the ring, ready to officiate.

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Main Event: Velvet Sky (c) Vs. Mickie James for the TNA Knockouts Title

Sky and James shake hands before locking up. Sky brings James to her knees with a wristlock but James cartwheels out and takes Sky to the mat with a wristlock of her own for a 1-count. Sky gets a takedown of her own for a 1-count then applies an armbar. James breaks out and brings Sky to the mat with a snapmare. Sky moves from a dropkick attempt and takes advantage with a low dropkick of her own for a 2-count. James gets up and the two trade forearms. James ducks a forearm and applies a full nelson, slamming Sky to the mat face-first, keeping the hold applied. James is in control as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

James is still in control as we come back from commercial. James brings Sky to the mat with a snapmare and applies a top wristlock. Sky escapes and starts mounting a string of offensive moves. Sky gets the tilt-a-whirl headscissors and after an awkward pause where it seemed like both Knockouts were lost she connects with a side russian legsweep. James backs Sky in the corner and connects with a slap across the face. Sky gets the boot up during a corner splash attempt. Sky connects with another tilt-a-whirl headscissors, this time with multiple revolutions. Sky starts favoring her still injured knee and James clips it right out from under her after getting a running head start. James measures Sky and connects with the DDT for the 1…2…3.

Winner and NEW Knockouts Champion [via Pinfall]: Mickie James (8:44)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: What an ugly embarrassing match. Velvet Sky’s offense and selling was awful and both women looked almost lost out there for a moment after what appeared to be a blown spot (the first headscissors). All of that led into an anticlimactic ending that even the Tampa crowd seemed surprised at due to it coming out of nowhere. Horrible. Horrible. But hey if we’re getting a heel Mickie James as champion…maybe it’ll lead to something better. Must stay optimistic.

—–

STORYLINE RECAP: AJ Styles and The Aces & Eights flirt with one another while Hulk Hogan and TNA angrily yells at him and forces him to make a decision.

—–

Bully Ray and The Aces & Eights are backstage. He asks D-Lo Brown if he washed their bikes and got their beer, and he respectfully says he has. Ray then toasts to Mr. Anderson’s victory and their upcoming new member AJ Styles. The patching in of Styles occurs after the break.

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-Commercial Break-

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The “Patching In” of AJ Styles

The Aces & Eights, led by Bully Ray, make their way out to the ring. Ray says everyone in the group is equal and when someone messes up they pay the price like D-Lo Brown. But as disappointing as Brown has been, he is equally proud of Mr. Anderson for stepping up. However Ray says it’s not about him or Anderson tonight; it’s about AJ Styles.

Ray calls Styles out, and he emerges from the back and heads to the ring. Ray says tonight is a big night for Styles and the club, saying that everyone wanted “The Phenomenal One” to join them. Ray tells Styles that he knew better and knows where the power truly lies in TNA then hands him a beer. Ray says it’s no secret Styles has ever had a drink in his life, but he wants him to cheers him and drink with him as a sign of unity. Ray tells Styles he can give his heart to Jesus but his soul belongs to the club. Styles and Ray toast and drink. Styles guzzles it and spits the foam out. Ray is super excited about Styles’ drinking prowess then calls Anderson over to give him his colors. Anderson hands Styles his kutte as a “You Sold Out!” chant starts in the Tampa crowd. Styles looks at the kutte and Anderson takes it, opening it for him to look at.

Before Ray can announce Styles as the newest member of The Aces & Eights, out comes Kurt Angle to interrupt. Angle says he had to see this with his own two eyes. Angle tells Styles that his TNA legacy has just gone down the crapper by joining this group. Angle tells Styles he disgusts him and asks him repeatedly if this is what he wants. Ray tells Angle this is exactly what he wants and tells Styles to put the kutte on. Styles puts the kutte on and smiles at Angle. Styles embraces the members of The Aces & Eights while Angle watches and Ray raises Styles hand up.

All of a sudden a limp Angle is thrown into the ring courtesy of D.O.C. who apparently attacked him from behind off-camera. D.O.C. and Knux hold Angle up and Ray hands Styles a hammer so he can fulfill his destiny. Styles attacks Angle with the hammer then sends him out to the ring. The Aces & Eights and Styles pose, then the group turn away to pose on their own. Styles turns around and attacks D.O.C. (IN THE HEAD) and a couple of members with the hammer. The rest of The Aces & Eights go to attack but Styles exits the ring. The announcers hype up that Styles truly walks alone as we conclude this week’s episode.

  • THOUGHTS: I don’t think anyone really thought Styles was going to join The Aces & Eights but I totally didn’t expect him to attack Angle with the hammer anyway. He really is being touted as a true lone wolf and I like that. A lot. Despite the ridiculous head shot to D.O.C. With the hammer (he would be super super super dead in real life given how hard Styles struck him) I enjoyed the turn and it created more intrigue for the Styles character. I prefer him not joining a side in this war; keeps things interesting. The same can’t be said for the bulk of this show though; between the boring action (and one truly terrible match) and the middling storyline stuff this was a hard Impact to get through. Here’s hoping they pick it up next week heading into Slammiversary.

*****

When not covering Impact (almost) every Thursday for 411 Jon can be found writing about professional wrestling in 140 characters or less on Twitter or on his own site Pro Wrestling Update which he really needs to, erm, update more.

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Jonathan Sullivan

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