411’s WWE 05.31.13 Smackdown Report

It’s Michael Benjamin here and it’s Smackdown. All three members of The Shield are in singles action. I can sink my teeth into that.

SHOW… ON!

Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Dolph Ziggler
US Champion: Dean Ambrose
IC Champion: Wade Barett
Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns

---

WWE Smackdown Report 5.31.13

Then. Now. FOREVERRRRR .

Seth Rollins (w/ Roman Reigns) vs. Kane (w/ Daniel Bryan) There’s no better way to start off Smackdown than with the The Shield’s entrance music. WHY ARE THEY DEPRIVING ME OF ROLLINS/BRYAN THOUGH!? They circle to start and Rollins locks in a side headlock. He back flips out of a suplex attempt and hits the ropes. Kane hits him with a big boot and covers him for two. Kane follows up with a delayed suplex for another two count. Daniel Bryan is staring on at ringside and his beard is just wicked awesome now. Seth Rollins takes a big back body drop like he always does and eats a two count. Rollins hits a nice dropkick for two. Or you can call it a “nice move” like Cole does. Main Event commentary is sooo much better. Rollins is kicking Kane in his thigh and working it over as Cole does everything he can to avoid calling a move. Rollins attempts to lock in a Boston Crab but Kane kicks him off. He tosses Rollins on the top rope and attempts a chokeslam but Rollins fights back and hits a HUGE assisted tornado DDT for two. Or a nice top rope move as Cole says.

Commercial Break

Rollins maintained control throughout the break but Kane immediately hit a sideslam upon the return from break. Kane follows up with a sidewalk slam for TWOOOOO. He goes upstairs for his VINTAGE CLOTHESLINE but Rollins makes it to his feet and meets Kane upstairs. Rollins goes for a superplex but Kane ends up hitting his clothesline after all. Roman Reigns distracts Kane and Kane gets caught with a big dropkick. Bryan distracts Rollins and Kane hits a top rope clothesline and a chokeslam for the win! This was a fun match. Both men worked the big man vs. little man formula to perfection.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Kane @ 8:00 via pinfall
RATING: **1/4

Roman Reigns (w/ Seth Rollins) vs. Daniel Bryan (w/ Kane)This is starting immediately after our opener. It looks like the writing team realizes that The Shield is the best thing going as much as we do. DING DING DING. Reigns corners Bryan immediately and beats the tar out of him. Reigns charges at Bryan in the corner but takes a drop toehold into the middle turnbuckle. Bryan is just beating the shit out of Reigns. Give this guy a world title feud. Seriously, he’s the best wrestler on the active roster and he’s more over than anybody in the company. Bryan delivers some signature kicks and tosses Roman into the ropes. Reigns reverses the Irish whip and hits Daniel Bryan with a side elbow as we head to commercial around the two minute mark.

Commercial Break

Bryan and Reigns are going back and forth upon our return from break. Reigns hits a huge clothesline and covers Bryan for… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Reigns talks a little shit before delivering a high knee and a shoulder tackle to Daniel Bryan. Do you know what he got? He got two. If you guessed one, you’re a bitch. Bryan makes it to his feet and hits a HUGE dropkick to Reigns in the corner. Reigns fights back and gives Bryan a CLUBBERING in the corner. He charges at him but Bryan flips over him and locks in the No Lock! The crowd is chanting “tap, tap, tap”. Kane takes out Rollins on the outside.Rollins pushes the rope towards Reigns so that he can get the break. Kane shoves Rollins to the mat and punches Reigns in the face. Roman Reigns wins via DQ after a cheap shot from Kane. It wasn’t bad and it wasn’t good. Reigns can’t deliver a match like Kane can with a smaller opponent. Kane and Bryan argue after the match as Cole announces Ambrose vs. Orton as the main event. Ambrose is an awesome example of working hard and getting pushed as a result.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Roman Reigns @ 6:33 via DQ
RATING: **

Commercial Break

– Damien Sandow cuts a promo in the ring aimed at Sheamus. When it comes to intelligence, Sandow is “the great one”. Sandow is in the ring with three cups and a ball. You guys know how the trick goes. Sheamus interrupts and makes fun of Sandow’s tiny balls. Fuck you, Sheamus. I wanted to see the trick. Sheamus allows him to do the trick! A “this is awesome” erupts in my front room as I sit here alone. Sheamus lifts the last cup and there’s no ball. HE WAS JUST DOING A MAGIC TRICK!?!? Guess what happens next? Sheamus Brogue kicks him! Be a star!!!!!

–Commercial Break–

RAW REBOUND We get a recap of Axel Curtis debuting and looking like a total chump after Trips buries him with a slap and bows out of the match due to head problems. Who did this get over?

– Paul Heyman and Curtis Axel make their way to the ring. Heyman said he’s a “humble visionary” and said he’s known for being the advocate for Brock Lesnar, as well as C.M. Punk’s historic title reign. He said when he points his finger at someone and calls them the next big thing, the people can invest stock in it. His new project is Curtis Axel. Axel said in one day, he accomplished more than his father and grandfather did in their entire careers combined. He said the record books will show that he beat Triple H on Monday. Will they?.

Curtis Axel vs. Sin Cara Curtis delivers punches to Cara before a back breaker. Axel hits a drop kick and he connects with a knee to the back. HE’S WORKING THE MASK~! Curtis delivers a reverse chin lock. Curtis hits a knee and forearm. He follows up with a back breaker but Cara counters with an arm drag. Cara nails Curtis with some kicks and a head scissors take down. Cara with a spinning arm drag and Cara is sent to the apron. Cara with an enzuigiri and Cara with a springboard cross body. Cara with a handspring back elbow but Axel with Grandson of the Axe and then he hits Son of Perfectplex for the three count.=

OFFICIAL RESULT:Curtis Axel @ 3:18 via pinfall
RATING: *1/2

–Commercial Break–

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E Langston
Big E hits some nice power offense to start the match. He locks in a waist lock and Alberto makes it to his feet. Big E hits a knee to the mid-section and pins Alberto for two. Alberto fights back with a series of clotheslines. Langston hits a clothesline of his own for two. He goes for the big ending but Alberto reverses with a backstabber. He hits a nice German Suplex and kicks Langston in the jaw! Alberto locks in the Cross Arm Breaker but Big E fights out! JBL says to give Big E a year and he’ll be unstoppable. I couldn’t agree more. Big E hits the Big Ending after AJ trips Alberto Del Rio and wins! Big E looks like a monster after another win over the number one contender. He’s my favorite thing going right now

OFFICIAL RESULT Big E Langston @ 4:18 via pinfall
RATING: *1/2

Commercial Break

Ryback vs. Kofi Kingston
Kofi hits a dropkick as soon as the bell rings, Kofi follows up with a splash into the corner and punches Ryback. Kofi with a European uppercut and some more punches but Ryback sends Kofi to the mat with a single leg sweep. Kofi kicks Ryback in the head. Kofi delivers a nice springboard drop kick for a near fall. Kofi hits a kick and he hits the Boom Drop afterwards. Kofi waits for Trouble in Paradise but Ryback catches him!. Kofi escapes a power slam attempt and gets a double jump cross body for another near fall. Ryback grabs the legs during a pendulum kick and stomps on Kofi. Ryback follows up with a lariat and Shellshocked for victory! Kofi got in a surprising amount of offense before being absolutely decimated at the end. This match was a fun sprint.

OFFICIAL RESULT Ryback @ 3:35 via pinfall
RATING: *1/4

– After the match, Ryback absolutely decimates Kofi. He grabs a table from under the ring that he checked for before the match had started. POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE. He slides out of the ring and grabs another table. He sets that up and puts Kofi through it with another powerbomb. One more time! He grabs a third and powerbombs Kofi through it again for the hat trick. Medical staff checks on Kofi and Ryback is effectively booked. Good stuff.

–Commercial Break–

– We get a recap of the Last Man Standing ending followed by a recap of Cena’s promo on Raw. Yay.

– We get a recap of the Jericho/Heyman segment on Raw. Jericho was proud of this segment and working with Heyman. I thought this segment sucked but to each their own.

– Chris Jericho cuts a promo with Renee Young. When you associate with a flea like Paul Heyman you get a bunch of diseases. I’m not going to write all of that. He listed like, twenty diseases.

Commercial Break

Chris Jericho vs. Cody Rhodes They lock up to start! Jericho escapes and immediately hits a dropkick before hitting a sliding dropkick through the bottom rope. Cody fights back with some kicks inside the ring. STOMPS. Jericho fights back with chops! Cody hits a suplex and goes for a cover. TWOOO. JBL isn’t sure of Cody’s mustache. I am though, and my opinion is what goes in the wrestling biz, right?! Jericho comes back with a dropkick and a top rope axe handle. He hits a bulldog and attempts to lock Cody in for the walls. NOPE~! Cody fights out and hits an Alabama Slam! Awesome. Cena should really take some notes from Jericho. I’m pretty sick of people telling me that it’s Cena’s booking. It’s not. You can do a favor for lower talent without permission. Cody misses a disaster kick and gets locked into the walls. He taps and it’s over. Not to repeat myself but really, Cena needs to take some notes on how to look credible and put over a young talent at once. Notice that Jericho didn’t wear a smug laugh after the match.

OFFICIAL RESULT:Jericho @ 4:26 via submission
RATING: *3/4

Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton Here we go. Ambrose shoves Orton into the corner and Orton fights back with some kicks. Cole says Ambrose is 6’4? No fucking way. Orton fights back with a hip toss and corners him for the ten count punch. Ambrose fights back with some knees and punches. Orton hits a Thesz press. Ambrose rolls to the outside for a breather but Orton hits him with a clothesline on the outside. Orton rolls him in by six and Ambrose fights back with an elbow. LAST COMMERCIAL.

Commercial Break

They brawl back and forth as we return from break. Orton goes for the middle rope DDT but Ambrose chokes him on the top rope! Orton fights back and tries for a suplex! Ambrose pushes him off! He goes for an axe handle but Orton catches him with a high dropkick. He follows up with his vintage DDT! He sets up for the RKO and The Shield hit the ring and beat Orton up. Team Hell No runs down and evens the odds. The Shield are out of there while Bryan looks amazing with his stiff offense.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Randy Orton @ 7:50 via DQ
RATING: **

OVERALL: This was a good episode of Smackdown. Everything moved along nicely and none of the matches sucked. There was no filler throughout the show and if you tuned in today, you’d be convinced that the WWE has direction.6/10