411’s WWE Smackdown Report 06.28.13

SMACKDOWN TIME! They’re hyping Orton vs. Kane as the big match of the night so I’m not exactly thrilled.

Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
US Champion: Dean Ambrose
IC Champion: Curtis Axel
Diva’s Champion: AJ Lee
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns

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WWE Smackdown Report 6.28.13

Dublin Street Fight: Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow They brawl to start things off. Most of the weapons are green… They quickly head to the outside and Sheamus gives him the clubbering out there. Sandow blocks a suplex on the outside and delivers a dropkick. He sends Sheamus into a green stool. Sheamus blocks a punch and grabs a keg. He hits Sandow over the face with it. Sheamus continues to beat Sandow down with a bag of Irish potatoes. Jesus. Ridiculous amount of stereotypes here. If these were regular weapons, I’d probably be more into this.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back with a chair in the ring. Sandow throws three more chairs into the ring and a green kendo stick. He sets a chair up in the corner and turns around only to be met with a green bar stool to the face. Sheamus hits the Irish curse for two. Sandow rolls to the outside and Sheamus follows. He hits the rolling senton outside of the ring for two. Back in the ring now. They exchange some minor plunder attacks before Sandow sends Sheamus into the chair he lodged in the corner. He follows that up with a drop toehold on another chair. Sandow grabs the kendo stick and beats the shit out of Sheamus with it. He was completely relentless there. More of this Sandow please. Sheamus fights back with a chair shot. I’m surprised they didn’t paint the chairs green actually. It’s Sandow’s turn to take a kendo stick beating… and he takes a big one. Sheamus covers him for a 2.999999 pinfall attempt. Sheamus sets up two chairs next to each other. He goes for White Noise on them but Sandow escapes. Sandow falls onto the chairs and eats a Brogue Kick. One, two, three, and it’s over. This was a great brawl. They didn’t need all of the cute Irish objects and laughing from the announcers during an intense match but I’ll look past that. Sandow and Sheamus delivered a good intense brawl and Sandow proved he can work the main event style that they love.

OFFICIAL RESULT:Sheamus @ 9:48 aired aired via pinfall
RATING: ***

– Backstage, Daniel Bryan walks up to Kane whistling, happy over his win against Orton on Raw. Kane calls Daniel’s win an upset. Kane yells at Daniel Bryan that he’s stressing him out and to leave. Daniel Bryan chalks that little outburst up to nerves and gives Kane a hug.

-Commercial Break-

– Miz TV with Paul Heyman: Miz speculates about CM Punk and Brock Lesnar. Paul Heyman avoids every hard hitting question and brings out Curtis Axel. Punk and Axel will be taking on PTP on Monday. Heyman introduces the two to each other. Miz says that he thinks Heyman is lying about not sending out Lesnar to attack Punk. Paul says that now that Axel is out there, Miz is afraid to ask more questions. Miz makes a shitload of Star Wars references. Miz asks what Axel is going to do when he doesn’t fit into the “Paul Heyman picture”. Especially when Miz takes the title from him. Miz is perpetually fighting for the IC title. Miz challenges Axel to a match right now but Heyman cuts him off. Nothing is happening on an impromptu basis and his clients don’t fight for free. Miz is about to drop his catchphrase before Axel beats the him up a bit.

-Commercial Break-

AJ Lee (w/ Big E Langston) vs. Natalya Before the match starts, AJ’s music hits and Kaitlyn comes out dressed like her. Kaitlyn looks good as a brunette! Kaitlyn proceeds to claim that AJ has dated the time keeper, Lillian Garcia and the ringside medic. The match starts and AJ and Natalya go back and forth for a minute. Kaitlyn skips down the ramp and around the ring. AJ screams at the top of her lungs and gets rolled up while distracted. This was pure angle advancement. It was fine for what it was. I’m all for the divas getting a story.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Natalya @ 0:57 via pinfall
RATING: N/A

-Commercial Break-

– Wyatt Family video!

– Backstage, Teddy Long tells Vince that his Money in the Bank ladder match is all about the future. He announces the competitors in said match. Wade Barrett vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Fandango vs. Jack Swagger vs. Antonio Cesaro

Randy Orton vs. Kane They exchange side headlocks to start. We get a quick stare down before Orton delivers some blows. He corners Kane and hits a few running clotheslines before eating a shoulder block in the corner. Kane hits a clothesline off the top for two. He hits a tilt-a-whirl side slam for another two. Kane comes off the top rope but Orton catches him with a punch to the abdomen. Orton stomps all over Kane and ends up eating a DDT out of nowhere. Both men are down as we head to break.

-Commercial Break

Daniel Bryan is on the announce table and getting the crowd to chant “YES” in an attempt to get Kane out of a side headlock. Kane goes down and D-Bry chants no! That was pretty awesome. Orton takes a big boot gets covered for two. Orton fights back and knocks Kane down with a dropkick. Kane goes upstairs and Orton cuts him off. Superplex attempt? Nah, Kane tosses him off and hits his flying clothesline from the top. Orton ducks a clothesline and hits a sideslam for two! Orton goes for his assisted DDT but Kane fights out. Chokeslam attempt. RKO attempt. Orton goes upstairs and Kane sends Orton to the outside. Daniel Bryan rooting for Kane is becoming less sincere as Kane gets closer to winning. Kane is on the outside and Bryan tosses him back in while exclaiming that Kane can do it. Kane walks right into an RKO. Daniel Bryan is smiling like a smug prick on his way to the back. They’re going to turn him heel. Bad business. This match was pretty damn good. Kane’s been bringing it lately, as has Orton. This angle has reinvigorated the two of them.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Randy Orton @ 9:37 aired via roll-up
RATING: **3/4

-Commercial Break-

Justin Gabriel vs. Ryback Gabriel hits Ryback with some hamstring kicks, Ryback tosses him off. Ryback goes for a big boot and Gabriel dodges it and lands crotch first on the top rope. Gabriel keeps on keepin on with some more kicks. Gabriel charges at Ryback in the corner but lands right on Ryback’s shoulders. SHELLSHOCKED. OVER. This was a squash. Gabriel didn’t look so bad in defeat though

OFFICIAL RESULT: Ryback @ 1:44 via pinfall
RATING: N/A

– Ryback is selling his hamstring pain as Jericho’s music hits. Jericho makes fun of him. He calls him “Cryback” and a bunch of other names before beating on him and going for the Walls of Jericho in the center of the ring. Ryback escapes the Walls and retreats.

– Another Wyatt Family promo! They’re coming!

-Commercial Break-

The Shield vs. Christian and The Usos Reigns starts with Jey. They grapple to start and end up rolling to the outside. We have a three on three stand off on the outside as we head to break.

-Commercial Break-

When we return from break things break down quickly. My keyboard stopped working for a moment for whatever reason so I couldn’t type most of the action. Bodies flew to the outside and Rollins hit a sick senton over the top rope. Christian hits Reigns with a spear and pins him! The Shield loses again! This was surprisingly short considering the result. I’m not entirely sure I agree with The Shield taking two losses in three weeks after dominating for so long but I think they’re over enough by now.

OFFICIAL RESULT The Usos and Christian @ 3:40 aired via pinfall
RATING: *3/4

– Ricardo heels it up on the southern crowd by mocking their accent before introducing Alberto. Lots of turns lately, right? It’s time for Fiesta Del Rio! The ring is all decked out like a fiesta. There’s a pinata hanging over the ring with Ziggler’s face on it. This is pretty much just a fancy way to cut a main event promo. Alberto notes that he’s a four time world champion. That’s crazy. Ricardo is eating chips. We’re going to hit the closed captioning as Alberto will only be speaking Spanish moving forward. The crowd chants USA which is slightly ignorant but alright. He rambles in Spanish. Alberto breaks a pinata and calls out Ziggler. The crowd chants “we want Ziggler”. Big pop for Ziggler as he heads down to the ring. That’s nice to hear. Ziggler gets in the ring and beats up Del Rio while the crowd explodes. Ricardo and Alberto end up getting the best of him for a moment but Ziggler fights back. Ziggler tosses Ricardo off the top rope through the table with chips and gives Del Rio a Zig Zag! Ziggler attempts to knock out Del Rio with a guitar but Del Rio hightails it out of there. Ricardo eats the guitar instead. Ziggler grabs the the belt as the crowd goes crazy.

OVERALLThis wasn’t a good week of WWE programming. None of the matches on Smackdown stood out tonight. The Dublin Streetfight was a great brawl but it was VERY gimmicky. Orton vs. Kane delivered beyond my expectations but it wasn’t great, and it’s nice to see Ziggler getting over as a face. Beyond those things, there’s nothing to write home about here. 5.0/10