411’s WWE Main Event Report 07.24.13

Matches will happen. There will be winners and losers. Wresting moves will be performed. Perhaps a Raw Rebound? This is Michael Benjamin… and this is Main Event.

SHOW… ON!

WWE Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
IC Champion: Curtis Axel
US Champion: Dean Ambrose
Unified Diva’s Champion: AJ Lee
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns

WWE MAIN EVENT 7.24.13

– Zeb Colter is confused tonight. He doesn’t know where he is. Is he in the United States or Mexico? He tells a story about his hotel being so close to the border that he could see directly into Mexico. He could see hundreds of immigrants swimming across the border. Colter takes a few jabs at Sheamus and asks for the crowd to stand on their feet and say “we the people” with him. Their gimmick is starting to fall pretty flat.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Colter) Lock up to start. They take turns powering each other into corners. Swagger gets a headlock takeover and Sheamus reverses with a leg scissors. Swagger is putting work in on the banged up leg of Sheamus. The huge bruise adds a bit to the visual brutality, as you can legitimately see the wound that’s being targeted. Sheamus fights back with some strikes and Swagger turns the tide with a kick to the injured leg. He corners Sheamus and continues working it over. Sheamus slugs back and hits a sideslam for two. Powerslam by Sheamus! TWOOOO. They end up on the outside and Swagger chop blocks the back of the bad leg. He sends Sheamus into the steps next. We head to break as Swagger rolls him into the ring.

-Commercial Break-

Swagger is still in control as we come back. Swagger dodges a punch and gets Sheamus in the Tree of Woe. STOMPS. Jack Swagger follows up with the Swagger Bomb for another two count. He taunts on the top rope and Sheamus attacks him. He hits the Electric Chair Drop! Sheamus begins heating up with forearms and punches. He hits the Irish Curse back breaker for two. Sheamus maintains offense with White Noise for another two. He tries to lock in the Texas Cloverleaf but Swagger punches his way out of that. Sheamus avoids a gutwrench and Swagger charges at him. He ends up getting back body dropped to the floor! Swagger makes it to the apron. CLUBBERING TIME. Sheamus is still limping around. He rolls Swagger back in the ring. Swagger fights out of a suplex attempt and hits a nice belly to belly for two. Swags gets frustrated and begins pouncing on the injured thigh. He locks in the Patriot Lock! Sheamus barely makes it to the ropes! Swagger drags the Irishman to the ring post and attempts to slam the bad leg on it. Sheamus uses his leg power to pull Swagger’s skull against the post! Swagger gets back into the ring and eats a Brogue Kick. It’s OVER! This was an entertaining slugfest between two of the bigger men on the roster. Swagger’s aggression and intensity made the match seem like a real a fight. That’s typically what you want out of a wrestling match, ya know? Also, the leg psychology was very nice. He focused on the thigh for a majority of the match and managed to keep it entertaining the entire time.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Sheamus @ 13:34 aired via pinfall
RATING: ***

– We get a small recap of the Punk/Heyman confrontation on Raw. The Best vs. The Beast at Summerslam is now official! I said I was going to stop ordering these… And here I am. There’s no way I’m not ordering it.

-Commercial Break-

Sin Cara vs. Drew McIntyre (w/ 3MB) If they haven’t renegotiated Sin Cara’s contract, they should just cut their losses with him. Find a new masked lucha guy. I think he may be beyond repair at this point. The gimmick is, at the very least. SHITTY SIN CARA LIGHTING~! Cara starts with some kicks before quickly getting tossed into the corner. He fights out of that and hits a top rope arm drag on Drew. McIntyre dodges a front flip into a forearm smash. Drew’s look SCREAMS main eventer to me. He’s better than this. Turn Sheamus heel and put them in a team. That’s be pretty fun, right? 3MB gets involved and Sin Cara lands on his face on the outside. HEAT SEGMENT~! Sin Cara fights back quickly with a rana! He tries to hit Drew with a plancha to the outside but all three members of 3MB catches him and rolls him in! Sin Cara hits a modified huricanrana into a facebuster for the victory. There was no substance to this match. Sin Cara’s finisher looked pretty awesome though.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Sin Cara @ 4:05 via pinfall
RATING: *

-Commercial Break-

– Fuck it, I love the Summerslam video package, as well as the song.

Raw Rebound: Daniel Bryan / John Cena contract signing replay. YES! YES! YES! Thank god we haven’t had the Bella’s get involved… yet.

– Daniel Bryan vs. Kane and Ryback vs John Cena in a Tables Match are scheduled for Raw.

– Damien Sandow makes his way down to the ring and cuts a pretty smarmy promo. Nobody in the audience knows what it’s like to win a MITB contract. By the looks of everybody in attendance, they probably don’t know what it’s like to win anything. You’re welcome. Heel heat ensues.

-Commercial Break-

– Rob Van Dam vs Alberto Del Rio is announced for Smackdown on Friday.

Justin Gabriel vs. Damien Sandow Man, they really need to do something with Gabriel. He’s talented and good looking. A lack of mic skills didn’t hold Jeff Hardy back. He hasn’t even had much of an opportunity. They start with a little bit of chain wrestling, exchanging wrist locks. Sandow fights out of one with a headbutt. Gabriel doesn’t let up and sweeps Sandows legs out from under him for a near fall. He puts Sandow in two more roll ups before Sandow fights back with a flurry of knee and shoulder thrusts in the corner. Sandow pays Gabriel back with a leg sweep of his own before locking in a headlock. Gabriel reverses with a jaw breaker. Sandow goes for a snap suplex but Gabriel rolls him up again. TWO. Sandow grounds Gabriel again with a side headlock. He escapes and fights back with some kicks. He goes upstairs and Sandow hits the ropes to crotch Gabriel on the top turnbuckle. Gabriel falls to the outside and the ref begins his ten count as we head into our final commercial break of the evening.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back! Sandow is in control with knee drops upon our return from break. He covers for TWOOOOOOOOOOO. Sandow locks in the abdominal stretch while delivering a few shots to the ribs of Gabriel. Gabriel escapes with a hip toss. He hits the ropes but runs into a knee strike from Sandow. ELBOW OF DISDAIN~! TWO! Sandow goes back to the midsection of Gabriel as he wraps his legs around Justin’s stomach. Gabriel escapes and stomps Sandow in the gut. Sandow manages to fight back in quick fashion though. He whips Gabriel into the corner and charges! Gabriel gets his foot up and gives Sandow a rana to the outside! He baseball slides Sandow through the ropes and rolls him back in. he hits an assisted sit out dropkick off of the top rope for two. He hits the eye of the hurrican to the follow that up! He doesn’t cover however. He hits a moonsault off the top rope and stilllll only gets two. He hits an STO that gets Sandow in position for the 450. He goes upstairs but Sandow makes it to his feet! He hits a modified neck breaker for two. Sandow goes for his finish but Gabriel escapes! Gabriel charges at him in the corner. Sandow gets his foot up and hits Gabriel with a Full Nelson Slam for the victory! This was a pretty good match. Gabriel’s bursts of offense are immensely enjoyable. Nothing he does seems contrived or convoluted like a lot of high fliers. I’d really like to see him get more screen time on Raw or Smackdown.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Damien Sandow @ 8:47 aired via pinfall
RATING: **1/4

OVERALL: Sheamus vs. Swagger was a fun power match, Sin Cara vs. McIntyre was forgettable and pretty pointless in the grand scheme of things, and Sandow vs. Gabriel was a pretty fun match while it lasted. All in all, an average episode of Main Event tonight.

– Not to mention, remember when the big issue on the internet was that we’d only get 25 minutes of wrestling on Raw? We just exceeded that in one hour. You have to admit, we’re getting FAR more wrestling than we used to get on a WWE broadcasts. One other note – Another huge issue the IWC had was the fact that titles never got defended on PPVs. Where’s all the praise now that almost every match on PPV IS a title match? Meh, just a quick little rant because I don’t have an opinion piece. (YET!!!!!!!)

I’ll see you guys on Friday with the Smackdown Report! As always, thank you for reading!