wrestling / TV Reports

411’s WWE RAW Report 8.26.13

August 26, 2013 | Posted by Tony Acero

Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: Randy Orton
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
US Champion: The Shield’s Dean Ambrose
IC Champion: Curtis Axel
Unified Diva’s Champion: AJ Lee
WWE World Tag Team Champions: The Shield’s Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns

Welcome to 411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 8.26.13

I’m back! Thanks to the big Bossman (no, not that one) for covering for me while I enjoyed the show live. This was my first three hour RAW live, and man…it felt like three hours. Anyway, enough about me, let’s get to why you came!


Hello all! You’ll have to forgive me for a few minutes, as I start the show just over five minutes, where Triple H is introducing Randy Orton to the ring. I assume he had a drawn out promo of giving us what we need before giving the intro, but I won’t know till a bit later, so let me update this in a bit.

In the mean time, Orton is in the middle of the ring and Triple H is letting Orton know that he got him a gift, from Triple H’s own pocket. He wants to bring it out right now. Triple H brings out….an Escalade. Did we get a Cadillac endorsement or something? Orton wants to thank him for the gift, but also wants to thank him for having a great mind to decide that Orton is the only one who can be the face of the WWE. Triple H wants Orton to check out the Escalade, but before he can, out comes Bryan. He is smiling, staring at the Escalade. He wants some Yessin, and we give it to him!

The Shield is in between the ramp and ring, I should mention.

Bryan says the ride is way better than his Honda Fit. He says it’s well deserved. Bryan says since Orton is out thanking people, he’s got some thank yous to give out as well. He wants to thank us, the WWE Universe. He isn’t the biggest or strongest (clearly, that’s twinkletoes Orton, says Bryan),but people have supported and believed in him. He also wants to thank John Cena, for giving Bryan the opportunity to wrestle for the the title in the main event at Summerslam, because clearly Triple H would have never given him that opportunity. Lastly, he wants to thank Triple H for ending the cherade and finally showing his true colors. Thanks for proving to everyone that H’s view of who the champ should be and look like is as misguided as Vince McMahon’s. Triple H used to be the rebel but is now just a sell-out in a suit who thumbs his rather large nose at each member of the WWE Universe.

Orton tells Bryan to realize who he is talking to. This is the COO and he is the WWE Champ, and they need to be shown respect. He is the face of the WWE.

Bryan interrupts and wants the crowd to cheer for the “face of the WWE.” At Night of Champions, when Bryan gets his rematch, that face is going to be rearranged, and so will Triple H’s vision for the future.

Triple H mocks Bryan, calling Bryan Jiminy Cricket and his “fantasy” of being the champ a dream, then sings “When You Wish Upon A Star.” Triple H says Bryan is not an A player, Bryan is nothing more than a B at best. If Bryan wants to prove himself to the world, then here’s an opportunity. Tonight, Bryan will face Seth Rollins….

Then, Dean Ambrose…

Then, Roman Reigns.

Then Pinocchio’s nose.

Triple H says he believes in Bryan, and believes that this is what’s best for business, then drops the mic, possibly breaking it and creating an unnecessary expense….

Tonight’s match with Punk and Axel has some possible choices, voted upon by us. Either Heyman is banned, he is the ref, or if Punk wins, Heyman will be forced to step in the ring with CM Punk.

-Commercial Break-

We return with Sandow ringside, showing off his briefcase, and Cody Rhodes already in the ring.

Match 1: Cody Rhodes vs Fandango

Lockup to start. Fandango goes behind. Cody with a drop toe hold and a front faced headlock. Fandango backs him into the corner, and the ref breaks them up. Fandango with a right hand, some rope work ends with Cody hitting an elbow and a front suplex. Fandango rolls onto the apron, Cody chases after, and Fandango with a kick.

Fandango’s music hits, distracting Fandango. It’s The Miz, in Fandango’s gear, and he’s dancing atop the ramp with a lovely little lady named Rosa. So I guess she won’t be Matadorin it up…

Cody with the roll up. 1…2…3!!
Official Result: Cody Rhodes

RATING: NR

Fandango attacks, Cody fights him off, Sandow rolls into the ring and it’s a 2-on-1 until The Miz comes in to even the odds. This leads to Maddox coming out and going all Teddy Long on our asses.

Match 2: Cody Rhodes and The Miz vs Damien Sandow and Fandango

We are back with the match in-progress. Sandow is dropping a knee on Rhodes, and follows up with a coverfor 1. Tag to Fandango, and they double team. Fandango is quick on the offense as Sandow tags in immediately. He hits the Side Russian and the Elbow of Disdain before pinning for 1…2..NO! Sandow with a whip to Rhodes into the corner. Sandow runs into a big boot, then both men hit a double clothesline.

Rhodes is first to Miz, and Sandow doesn’t get the opportunity to tag. Big kick from The Miz, he hits the ropes, and another! Miz comes out of the corner with his clothesline, then kicks Fandango off the apron. Miz rolls in then rolls up Sandow for 1…2..NO! Miz with a whip to the corner. He lifts the leg over the rope and gives it a kick, then hits the ropes and boots the leg. Miz looks to lock in the Figure Four as Fandango walks out on the match.

Sandow kicks Miz away, but Sandow gets tripped up by Rhodes, then Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale. Pin for 1…2…3!!
Official Result: Cody Rhodes and The Miz
This match went by in a blur, and that’s not necessarily a good thing this time around. Having Rosa with The Miz isn’t going to help, in my opinion, but it was nice seeing her…sorta.
RATING: *

The Miley Cyrus mention count is now at 3. We get it, King and Cole, you’re hip with it…

-Commercial Break-

Another preview for Los Matadores that comes off more like a preview for Nacho Libre 2.

We are backstage with Christian and Josh Mathews. Mathews brings up HHH putting Bryan into a Gauntlet Match with the Shield and wants to know what Christian thinks about it. Christian says it’s tough for him to say anything, considering what he’s seen in his years with the WWE. Here’s Orton, asking if there is a problem with the way the show is ran. Orton thinks there must be an issue with Christian because he lost at Summerslam and Orton wins. Christian says he knows Triple H likes to play with sledgehammers, but it seems he’s got himself a new tool.

BURN!

Cole is here to let us know that if we are “social media savvy,” we can check out Heyman’s Tout. If you’re not, too bad, you dunce.

We are sent after to an interview with Punk and Renee Young. He says he won’t be trying to sway the audience to either of the options, he’ll leave it to the crowd. He brings up his match with Brock and says Heyman deserves more. He wants Paul Heyman.

Another backstage segment shows Heyman blown away by the fact that there is a subjection of his health and well-being to the WWE Universe. Axel is here to let Heyman know that he’s got this. Axel says that Punk must first outwrestle him, and that can’t happen. The situation is better than perfect. Axel asks Heyman if he believes him, and Heyman quips, “Like my life depends on it.” Cuz you see, it does…

-Commercial Break-

The votes are in, and Option C wins with 81%. If Punk beats Axel, Heyman will have to enter the ring with Punk

Match 3:

Lockup to start, and Punk gets the sideheadlock. Axel pushes against the ropes, Punk releases, shoulderblock by Punk. Punk with a sideheadlock on the mat. Pin for 1. Heyman is still at the top of the ramp. Axel whips Punk and Punk hits another shoulderblock to the mat. Punk with the snapmare, pin for two, then Axel rolls to the outside. Punk rolls out to follow and gives the death stare to Heyman. Punk opts to run after Heyman, like a dummy, and Axel follows and attacks the back. Heyman runs for it while Axel sends Punk back down towards the ring. He smacks Punk’s head against the apron then rolls him in the ring at 6.

Axel stomps the head of Punk then hits a bodyslam. Pin for 1…2..NO! Axel with a cravat, but Punk stands then turns into it. Arm drag sends Axel into the corner. High knee in the corner. Pin by Punk for 1…2..NO! Punk goes up top. He wants the elbow, but Axel rolls out of the ring. Axel turns around, right into a suicide dive! Punk stares down Heyman as we go to a commercial.

We’re back, and Punk is ducking a clothesline only to be knocked upside the back of the head. Pin for 1…2..NO! Axel with a dropkick and a pin for 1…2..NO! Axel on his knees, he punches Punk in the face a couple of times, then grabs the head of Punk and yells to Heyman that he’s got this. Heyman makes his way dow nthe ramp with a grin, but Punk is up and he’s kicking the legs and sides of Axel. Punk with a kick to the side, and Axel grabs the leg. He grabs both, looks for a slingshot, but Punk lands atop the rope and flies off with a crossbody. Axel is able to roll out and kick Punk hard, sending him into the corner. Punk comes out of the corner and Axel hits a Saito Suplex. Pin for 1…2..NO! Axel with another Saito. Axel calls for Punk to get up. He wants the neckbreaker. Punk reverses, hits a swinging neckbreaker of his own, then goes up top. Punk flies off with an elbow! Pin for 1…2..NO!

Punk is up. He’s calling for the Go 2 Sleep. Heyman is worried. Punk gets Axel up, but he fights out, kicks Punk’s leg, then hits his swinging neckbreaker. Pin for 1…2..NO!!

Axel attacks the back of the head of Punk. Axel lifts Punk up, but Punk grabs him out of nowhere. Go 2 Sleep! Pin! 1…2….3!!!
Official Result: CM Punk
Not a bad match by any means, but every single time Axel makes some attempt at “intensity,” he comes off as overacting and foolish.
RATING: **1/2

Heyman, of course, tries to head to the back, but two referees come out and prevent him from doing so. Heyman makes a slow walk towards the ramp, but Punk doesn’t want to wait, so he heads up the ramp himself. Heyman runs to the back and Punk follows. 4 security guards drag Heyman to the back and down the ramp. Heyman screams that it was all Brocks idea, and Punk rolls him into the ring. Punk backs Heyman up into the corner, and here’s Axel to give Punk a low blow. Punk struggles on the mat, as Heyman and Axel stand above him. Axel asks Heyman for something, and Heyman pulls handcuffs out of his jacket pocket.

Axel lifts Punk’s head, and Heyman slaps his face a few times. He screams at Punk that he is going to feel the wrath of Heyman. He wants to know if Punk understands. Axel says Punk is nothing. Punk is on his knees as thyey both berate him. Punk stands and roundhouse kicks Axel in the fuckin face. Nice. He turns to Heyman, trips him up, then starts layin in with the kicks. Here’s Axel with the chair to the gut. Punk is on his knees again, as Axel hits the bck of the head of Punk. Axel heads to the outside and looks under the ring. He grabs a kendo stick. Axel back in the ring now, calling Punk nothing. He sizes Punk up a bit, then decides to hand the stick to Heyman instead. Heyman twirls the stick like he’s somethin, then smacks Punk in the back of the neck. Axel acts like the bully’s best friend, screaming and hopping around. He chokes Punk up on the ropes, and Heyman screams with each hit that he loved Punk, he meant the world to him and a few other break up statements.

Axel pulls Punk to the outside, then sends Punk into the announce table, abs first. He grabs Punk’s head and screams at him, then hits a right hand to the face of Punk. Heyman is outside and just lays into Punk some more with the stick. He screams that he gave Punk his heart, Punk broke his heart, he loved Punk. Medical staff is here now to help Punk. Is the crowd chanting “boring?”

The refs send Curtis Axel away as Heyman struggles with the recent happenings. They walk up the ramp together as some hands check on Punk.

-Commercial Break-

During the break, they filmed Punk walking up the ramp, and his back was noticeably chopped up.

Back to the show, we welcome JoJo as the special guest ring announcer for the following match.

Match 4: Natalya (w/ The Funkadactyls) vs. Brie Bella (W/ Nikki Bella and Eva Marie)

Nattie is quick to start, lifting Brie and sending her into the corner. Nattie steps away, so Brie kicks her in the leg, sending her face first into the turnbuckle. Brie with some kicks then drops a knee to the back of Natalya. Brie with a stomp then pulls back on the arm. She locks Natalya’s arm with the leg, but Nattie is too strong and lifts Brie up. Nattie swings Brie around and hits a side slam, then locks in the Sharpshooter! Eva Marie up on the apron, distracting the ref, and Nikki pulls Brie out of the hold.

Brie with the X-Factor out of nowhere. Pins for 1…..2…3!!
Official Result: Brie Bella
This was nothing to me, but lead to the best promo from a Diva….ever
RATING: NR

The lovely, hot, and amazing AJ’s music hits! She comes out with the mic, then drops an OMG. She just watched last night’s episode of Total Divas and it was insane. The Bellas dealt with their daddy issues, the Funks broke up and got back together, Tyson Kidd wasn’t much of a man…and the other two were also there. AJ fake hypes the show on Sunday Nights. AJ looks in the ring and sees a bunch of cheap, interchangeable, expendable, useless women. Women who have turned to reality tv because they just weren’t gifted enough to be actresses or talented enough to be champion. The Bellas want her to say it to their faces. AJ says she has done more in one year than all of them have done in their careers. She has saved the divas division and shattered glass ceilings, but why? None of them even thanked her. They can’t even go backstage and look her in her eyes, or shake her hands, because she GAVE her life for this, and they were just handed 15 minutes of fame. She didn’t get here because she was cute, or came from a wrestling family, or because she SUCKED…..up to the right people. She got here because she was good. She earned this. None of these girls will be able to lace up her Chuck Taylors. They are all worthless excuses for women and will never be able to touch AJ and that…..is reality.

Holy FUCK, that was beautiful. The Bellas tried really hard to take over that segment but man, they just looked foolish.

Excuse me while I faint at that awesomeness….

-Commercial Break-

Here’s Ricardo Rodriguez to announce RVD, in a pairing that still doesn’t make much sense.

Match 5: Rob Van Dam Vs. Alberto Del Rio

We start big time with RVD hitting a monkey flip for fun! RVD sets Del Rio on top the top rope and hits a few kicks. RVD is up top and kicks Del RIo off the ropes, with a sloppy graze. I do like the fact that Del Rio adds flags to the ringposts with every match he’s in. Commercial break as I catch my breath and watch the AJ promo again…

We’re back, and Del Rio has a chin lock on RVD. We learn that Maddox says if RVD wins this match, he’ll get a title shot at Night of Champions. Del Rio with a German pin for 1…2..NO! Del RIo with some right hands to RVD. Del Rio calls for RVD to stand, but he gets on all fours, so RVD just stomps the back of him. Del Rio calls for an “ADR” chant then goes up top. RVD is up. Del Rio jumps off, right into a kick from Van Dam. Del Rio and Van Dam trade blows, but RVD hits a kick, then a clothesline. Another. RVD ducks a clothesline, hits a back kick to the chin. Rolling Thunder! Pin for 1…2…NO! Del Rio on the attack. He goes to bash RVD into the turnbuckle, but RVD stops it with a kick. Split-Legged Moonsault. Pin for 1…2..NO! Del Rio is grabbing the knee. RVD is lifting him up! Whip to the corner is reversed. Del Rio looks for a hit, but RVD blocks. Hits the ropes, flying kick to RVD. RVD is calling for the Five Star! He’s gonna—nooooo Del Rio crotches RVD up top. Del Rio hits the ropes. ENZIGURI! Pin for 1…2..NO!!

Ricardo gets on top of the announce table and does the RVD thing. Del Rio sees, gets upset. Del Rio wants the cross armbreaker, but RVD scissors the legs and rolls Del Rio into a surprise pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Rob Van Dam
Looks like it might be sooner rather than later that RVD holds the big Gold belt, and this match was fun enough to whet the appetite.
RATING: **

-Commercial Break-

We’re back to RAW is AJ, and Ryback is in the backstage with Josh Mathews. Josh brings up Ryback’s recent bullying antics, and of course we know where this is going, right? Ryback grabs the face of Mathews, then tosses him aside. He tells Josh to look at him, then grabs his face again. Ryback says he finally found a way to shut Mathews up, and it is it grab his face…

King tries to make the “BE A STAR” joke, but all of you guys do it better.

Backstage, Heyman and Axel are walking away. Renee is here to ask Heyman if they are afraid about what happened next. Axel says that what happened is something CM Punk will never forget. Heyman is teary-eyed. He calls Punk a child who needs to continue to get punished. Heyman looks like he and RVD just hit a fat one. He says he feels like a man, a man who put his prodigal son in place. Punk was humiliated, beaten by his own father figure. Now, his prodigal son will learn that Daddy is the last person he should ever fux with.

Match 6: Christian vs Randy Orton

Lockup, and Christian rolls up Orton real quick for a 1 count. Christian smiles at Orton’s shock. Lockup again, and this time Orton has the side headlock. Christian with the whip, but Orton hits the shoulderblock. Test of strength cut short with a kick from Orton. Headbutt from Orton. Another. Uppercut from Orton, but Christian hits a drop toe hold then goes over for the uppercut. Orton moves, though, so Christian grabs the arm and pulls Orton to the outside. Orton turns right into a baseball slide. Christian with a right hand on the outside. He sends Orton back in the ring, then locks in a hit. I miss something and come back to a pin from Christian for 1…2..NO! Orton mounts Christian and hits some rights, then stomps the face of Christian. Orton grabs the head of Christian and chokes him up on the ropes. Orton with the suplex set up. He drops Christian on the top rope, gut first, then hits a huge knee to the face of Christian, sending him over to the outside. Orton poses for us, as a face of the WWE should.

Christian back in and Orton stomps the limbs. Orton with a pin for 1…2..NO! He grabs Christian’s head, locks in a cravat, and smiles like he means it. Both men up. Orton with a kick, he goes for a body slam, but Christian grabs the head. Orton fights out, hits a headbutt, sending Christian to his knees, then covers for 1…2..NO! Orton grabs the head again. Ooooh, what a heel! Orton drops some fists to the chest of Christian. Headlock from behind on the mat. Christian blocks a clothesline in the corner, and sets up for a tornado DDT, but Orton is all like, Nah mang and pushes Christian off the top rope, sending him to the outside again, as we go for a break.

We are back, and Orton has a lock from behind. Christian turns into it, though, and sends Orton away. Orton with a push, sends Christian into the corner. Christian kicks Orton away then goes up top. He grabs Orton’s head, but Orton dives into the crotch, and they trade blows….that came off badly. Headbutt from Orton. Another. One more. Uppercut from Orton. Christian is still up top. Orton sets up for a Superplex. He hits it! Christian is able to get a quick roll up for 1…2..NO! Orton with a clothesline, another, he goes for a powerslam but Christian stands tall, and kicks Orton in the stomach! He sends Orton to the corner and goes up top. He gets the 10-punch, then whips Orton to the opposite corner. Orton just flies out with a clothesline! Christian rolls to the apron, and Orton goes after him. Christian with the hangman. He goes up top. Christian with a beautiful crossbody into a pin for 1….2…NO!!! Christian calls for his peeps! Orton with a jackknife cover for 1…2..REVERSED by Christian for 1…2…NO! Orton with headbutts. Christian is on the apron. Orton clls for the DDT! Christian slips out of it, though! He sets up the Unprettier, but Orton with the elbows!

Christian in the corner, Orton follows. Tornado DDT! Pin for 1…2..NO!! Orton sends Christian to the apron, this time he gets the DDT in. Orton hears the voices. He clls for the RKO, Christian is up! Orton with the RK-NO! Christian pushes him away and goes into the corner! Orton is down! Christian is foaming at the mouth. He wants the SPEAR! He runs! Orton hops over! Christian from the opposite side! SPEAR!!! Pin for 1…2…NO!!!

Christian is sent into the corner. Orton goes for the RKO. Reversed to a Killswitch attempt. Orton shoves Christian into the ref. The ref, surprisingly, doesn’t act like someone shot him with a bazooka, and is only distracted long enough for Orton to poke the eye of Christian. RKO. Pin for 1….2…3!!
Official Result: Randy Orton
Minor issues aside, this was a great match. The commercial break didn’t hurt it, and neither did Orton’s heel holds that typically kill his matches when he’s a bad guy.
RATING: ***1/2

Daniel Bryan is on the titantron. He tells Orton that that match was an A+ effort. The more Bryan thinks about it, the more he realizes that Orton IS the face of the WWE. We notice that Bryan is sitting on the hood of the Escalade like a ho in Grand Theft Auto. Bryan has a question. What if he beats Orton, and becomes the new Champ, would that make him the new face of the WWE? Hmmmm. Bryan moves, and the word YES is spraypainted atop the hood of the Escalade…

We manuever around to the right and there’s a bunch of Yes Yes Yess all over the car! haha. Orton is pissed. Man, I thought they were going one word on us. Instead, we got a YESCALADE!!! (not my joke, but it was funny!)

-Commercial Break-

We are backstage with Maddox, Orton, and Triple H. He tells Orton that he is sure he heard the audience’s reaction. And Hunter should no that everyone in the locker room is laughing as well. Triple H says that this car is his personal property, he gave it to Orton. The title, he considers that his personal property, too. Everyone wants to make this personal. Here’s what Brad is going to do, he’s going to find every superstar and diva and march them out to the stage and watch as Bryan goes through the Gauntlet match(es). Anyone that thinks to help Bryan will be personally fired by Triple H. Every single last one of them. Let them know that he’ll laugh while he’s doing it. Go.

Orton says that Bryan is going to pay for this.

Zeb Coulter has a very important message: “If you can’t feed em, don’t breed em.”

Match 7: Titus O’Neil (w/ Darren Young) vs. Jack Swagger (w/ Antonio Cesaro and Zeb Coulter)

Lockup is short lived as Swagger sends Titus into the corner with some hard knees. Swagger with a short clothesline and a cover for 1. Swagger sends Titus into the opposite corner and hits some shoulders. Titus tries to fight out, hits the ropes, and Swagger hits a high knee. Swagger works the leg then chokes Titus up on the second rope. Swagger with a back suplex into a pin for 1…2..NO! Swagger with a chin lock but Titus turns into it. Titus with an elbow, Swagger misses a splash, Titus with a shoulder block. Another. He ducks a clothesline. Fall away….toss? Titus barks and calls for Swagger to stand. Titus misses a big boot and Swagger clips the knee. Swagger grabs the leg and locks in the Patriot Lock. Titus turns and kicks Swagger into the corner. He runs…right into a double boot! Swagger rolls Titus up and uses the ropes for the 1…2…NO!

Young pushes the legs of Swagger off the ropes, breaking the pin! Swagger goes to yell at Young, then turns into the Sky High! Pin for 1…2…3!!
Official Result: Titus O’Neil
A bit short, but considering it was Titus, I’m ok with that. The PTP’s push continues, and I’m interested to see where it’s going.
RATING: *1/2

-Commercial Break-

We are back with the lovely Bray Wyatt singing a song to us. He speaks of a lady that warned him and his brothers thatthe world is an evil place, and they agree. He was there when she took her final breath. She pulled him in close and said they chose him long before he existed, and he understood what she meant. Her touch could save the world, but her kiss burns it to the ground. He loves her, Sister Abigail. Wyatt continues singing and this was pretty bad ass, although seems like a continued intro more than an advancement.

Backstage, someone is refusing attention. The docs are telling Brad that someone isn’t down. In comes Punk, says that a doc can’t help him. Punk wants a match with Heyman. He doesn’t care how, where, he just wants Heyman. Maddox decides that he will give Punk a match. CM Punk vs Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman. A Handicap Elimination match at Night of Champions. Punk agrees but warns Brad that if this doesn’t go the way he wants it to, then Maddox will be the one paying.

Out come all the superstars as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

While The Shield are making their entrance, Renee Young is out at the top of the ramp and wants to ask The Miz what he thinks of this possible. The Miz is about to bad mouth Trips, but opts to stay silent instead.

Match 8: Daniel Bryan vs Seth Rollins

Lockup until Bryan sends Seth into the corner then gets some kicks in. Bryan trips up Seth with a drop toe hold then is quick to lock in the Mexican Surfboard. He pulls back on the neck of Rollins then rolls forward a bit. Seth with a right hand to Bryan. Bryan with some kicks ot the chest then a whip. Knee to the gut of Seth! Back elbow from Bryan. Bryan clotheslines Seth to the outside, and follows through with the elbow, going to the outside as well. Ambrose and Reigns saunter over to the area of the ring Bryan and Rollins are at. Rollins sends Bryan into the barricade with his shoulder, then whips Bryan into the apron, and back into the barricade. Seth sends Bryan back in the ring for a pin. He gets a 1 count.

Seth sends Bryan into the corner and stomps him then chokes him up for a three count. Bryan fights out of the corner with rights, but Seth hits a kick then a chop. Whip to the corner. Bryan flips over. He hits the ropes. Bryan hits a clothesline! Bryan with the kicks! He hits a good four before going for the headkick. Rollins ducks under and heads to the apron. Bryan tries to pull him up, but Seth with a hangman. Seth hits the top rope and flies off, but Bryan rolls through and gets a half Boston Crab! Seth gets to the ropes, though!! Bryan with a baseball slide, sending Seth to the outside! Bryan looks to want to dive! He does Suicide Dive through the ropes sends Seth ACROSS THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! We get a surprise commercial for some reason.

We’re back, and Seth is handling Bryan. He sends Bryan into the corner, and slaps him around a bit. Seth runs from one end of the ring to another with an elbow to the face! Bryan seems to be Hulking up. Seth with some slaps in the corner. He runs for another splash/elbow, and hits it. Bryan drops to a seated positon as Seth slaps Bryan around like a lil bitch. Seth lifts Bryan and hits a right, then looks for another splash, but as soon as he turns around, Bryan hits a dropkick to the face! Bryan is feeding off the crowd now. Seth and Bryan trade blows, but Bryan gets some extra kicks! Seth with a kick, too! He hits the ropes, Bryan rolls him up! 1…..2…REVERESED by ROllins into a pin for 1…2..REVERSED AGAIN!! 1…2…NO! Kick out by Bryan. Seth is up and hits an eleveated back/side slam manuever and a pin for 1…2…NO!! Seth sends Bryan into the corner. Some right hands gets him pushed away by the ref. Seth moves forward and sets Bryan on the top turnbuckle. Chops from Seth, and a headbutt. Seth is up top. He wants a superplex, but Bryan slips under the legs and crotches Seth on the top! Bryan from behind! He’s setting up a German! No! GERMAN FROM THE TOP!!! Seth does a complete 180 in the air and lands on his face. Bryan calls for YES!
A knee to the face that the stupidly make the television viewers miss gets the 1…2….3!!
Official Result: Daniel Bryan
Hoooolleeeeeeee Fuckballz
RATING: ***1/2

Match 9: Daniel Bryan vs Dean Ambrose

The Ambrose match starts immediately, and Bryan is quick to lock in the Yes Lock!! Reigns is in to stop the hold, and give Bryan the DQ win!!

Official Result: Daniel Bryan via DQ

RATING: NR

Match 10: Daniel Bryan vs Roman Reigns

Reigns tries to attack but is locked into the Yes Lock as well!! In comes The Shield for the interruption and DQ!

Official Result: Daniel Bryan via DQ

RATING: NR

All three are attacking Bryan now! Ambrose and Rollins hold Bryan up as Reigns spears Bryan! The music of Triple H hits, and he comes out to stare at the superstars atop the ramp. He eyeballs Dolph and Big Show – you know, the dude with that contract that means he can do what the fuck he wants… In the ring, The Shield give Bryan a three-man poweromb. All the dudes up top are looking at Triple H except Big Show, who isn’t making eye contact.

The music of Randy Orton hits, and here comes our WWE Champion. Triple H taps Orton’s chest, sending him down the ramp. Orton enters as Seth and Dean hold Bryan up. Orton grabs the chin of Bryan, talks some shit, then looks to hit the RKO as the crowd chants for Big Show. RKO to Bryan from Orton!

Orton stands atop the ramp with the belt high, and Triple H mocks the superstars, asking them if they want to laugh now. Triple H parts the sea of superstars like he’s Moses, and he and his champion walk to the back.

End Show

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Tony Acero

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