Tremendous Tirades 8.26.13: WWE Monday Night Raw
Posted by Larry Csonka on 08.26.2013
Daniel Bryan vs. Game Inc…
As a reminder, this will not be another traditional recap, but instead it will be a mash up of the Rs, Instant Analysis and my usual Twitter ramblings I would do during the shows; completely uncensored and as the ideas flow unfiltered to the old keyboard. Remember, this is a review; and I am here to review the show. As always, I encourage discussion and even disagreement, just do so in a respectful manner. I will be doing the review for Raw and most PPVs and iPPVs going forward.
WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW
FEAR THE BEARD
GAME INC.: With the Shield standing guard in front of the ring, Triple H came to the ring to talk about what he did at Summerslam as well as to relive the end of last week's Raw. After using that to kill time, because this is a three-hour show. They do this a lot these days instead of getting to the point, which makes the promos feel as if they last forever. After bragging about ratings and social media buzz, he introduced the new face of the WWE, Randy Orton. Triple H gushed over Orton and gave him a brand new Escalade, which had its own theme music (Triple H's). That car is so getting trashed tonight. This was the douche bag version of the mutual admiration society and I mean that in a good way. This led to Bryan coming out, and delivering some good lines that were dripping with sarcasm (especially the one where he said Orton worked really hard to get the title). He then cut the big baby face promo, thanking the fans, Cena, God, Jesus and Mr. McMahon. Ok, he didn't go all Iron Sheik on us, because he then turned his attention to Triple H; noting that he was a rebel in a leather jacket who turned it in for a suit. He then vowed to regain the WWE Title at Night of Champions to the delight of the crowd. Ok, this thing just took a turn for the better as Triple H called Bryan Jiminy Cricket and sang, "When you wish upon a star." Triple H then continued to be a dick and set up Bryan vs. The Shield in a gauntlet match. This was a good opening segment, they set that car up to fail hard later in the show, but most importantly they set up Orton and Triple H as people with no redeeming qualities. The gauntlet match has a chance for quality, but they have to be careful how they book it because as much as you want to build Bryan, you don't want to damage the Shield. Overall I liked that opening, but it was a bit longer than it needed to be, which hurt it a bit. Also, the one thing that I don't like in a way is that this comes off as more about Triple H vs. Bryan, which makes the Champion (Orton) come off as a bit of an after thought.
Rating (1-10): 7.5
Cody Rhodes vs. Fandango: Damien Sandow was on commentary. They wrestled for approximately two minutes, and then Miz came out to Fandango's music and danced with Rosa Mendes. This caused a distraction, and led to Brad Maddox coming out and making a tag match. Maddox was horrible here as he tried to be funny with dance puns. Anyway, that led to…
Cody Rhodes and The Miz w/Rosa Mendes vs. Damien Sandow and Fandango w/Summer Rae: So since Miz is horrible as a face, and couldn't thrive after Flair endorsement with the figure four, they are now trying to fix this with Rosa Mendes? They worked for a bit, it was fine, Fandango bailed on Sandow who then got pinned by Miz. Fandango said his name. It was fine and played off of last wee, but I cannot say that it did anything to make me care about any of them. This simply existed as a segment.
Rating (1-10): 6.0
We get a promo for Los Matadores.
- "So I have a fantastic idea for those Colon kids. FUCKING MATADORS!"
- "Sir, you do realize that they're Puerto Rican, not Mexican, right?"
- "Toe-may-toe, tah-mah-toe… by the way, do you have Tito Santana's number? I have a hell of an idea..."
Christian cut a promo about remembering the McMahon-Helmsley era, and noting that he has the scars to prove it. I guess those were the scars he and Edge got before they turned heel and joined the faction. But I digress. Randy Orton cut him off and started that he will beat him once again.
Paul Heyman was not happy about tonight's fan vote. Curtis Axel tried to make him calm down by stating that he has it. Nobody is buying it.
Brie Bella w/Nikki Bella and Eva Marie vs. Natalya w/Cameron and Naomi: Short match, Natalya controlled almost all of it, the other chicks got involved and that led to Natalya losing. AJ came out and ran everyone down that was involved by mocking Total Divas. She called then expendable and useless, and that they only did reality TV because they were not good actresses or good competitors. AJ then claimed to do more in one year than they have done in their combined careers, as the others bickered. The crowd loved AJ for this promo. And that was your Total Divas plug for the week. The match was nothing, but the promo was interesting and solid work overall by AJ (even if she did come off as more of a face than a heel). I am willing to see where it goes, hopefully to a title match of some kind at Night of Champions. I know that some loved this, which is fine, but I would likely care more if I actually cared about the divas, and WWE hasn't given me a real reason to do so at this time.
Josh Matthews interviewed Ryback about his recent bullying. Ryback grabbed Matthews and promptly made him shit his pants. BE A STAR BROTHER!
Renee Young tried to interview Heyman about what happened with Punk, and called Punk a petulant child that needs punishment. Heyman feels like a man who put his prodigal son in his place. He humiliated Punk, and now, Punk will learn that Heyman is the last person he should come up against.
AND THEN, Daniel Bryan appeared on the TRON and celebrated Orton's victory. He had vandalized Orton's new ride by spray-painting YES all over it. It wasn't the destruction I had hoped for, but that'll do pig…
Brad Maddox had to break the bad news to Orton and Triple H that everyone loves vandalism. Maddox now has to get all of the locker room to the stage to watch The Shield destroy Daniel Bryan. And if anyone gets involved, they will get fired by Triple H. Sounds like a good way to get Show, Henry and Ziggler involved after last week's show. At the very least Big Show, he has an iron-clad contract, right?
Titus O'Neil w/Darren Young vs. Jack Swagger w/Colter and Cesaro : This is a follow up from last week where the PTPs won on Raw, and then Young won against Cesaro on Smackdown. Zeb did a promo about welfare, noting that, "if you can't feed them, don't breed them," and said Mrs. Young and Mrs. O'Neil should have learned that, so we wouldn't have this inferior tag team. This was a match that felt too long, even though it was only around three minutes long. O'Neil got the win, and I hope that they just move on as the PTPs have now swept the Real Americans. And speaking on Swagger and Cesaro talk about two guys on the booking yo-yo. One week they win, then they lose, then they win and look to have an actual angle, and then they go back down. They have no idea what to do with these guys other than they exist so that Zeb can cut promos.
Rating (1-10): 5.0
We get a Wyatt Family promo, discussing Sister Abigail.
Brad Maddox booked CM Punk vs. Heyman and Axel at Night of Champions after some polite prompting from Punk.
Gauntlet Match: Daniel Bryan vs. The Shield (Rollins, Ambrose and Reigns): Renee Young tried to get comments from Show, Ziggler and Miz about the reign of Triple H and such. They refused to comment because they feat Shield attacks and firings. We started with Bryan vs. Rollins, which is always a fun time when they face off. They simply work so well together and can control a pace for a long time that not many in the company can match. Damn this was great, and Bryan hit this SICK release German off the top that turned Rollins inside out. Bryan would pin Rollins, but that led to Ambrose attacking. Bryan would get the YES lock, but Reigns hit the ring and we got a DQ. Bryan would fight, but the Shield continued their attack. This led to Triple H making an appearance, and giving the Shield the nod to deliver the Shield bomb on Bryan as the roster gave Triple H dirty looks. Randy Orton then appeared to get some revenge. Orton hit an RKO as the crowd chanted for Big Show to help.
Rating (1-10): 8.0
Orton and Triple H posed to close the show, daring the roster to laugh.
Overall I felt that this was a good show. We had a good match (Orton vs. Christian) and a great segment with Punk and Heyman. They also went a long way to work the Daniel Bryan angle. I know that some are saying that Austin never got left lying all the time, but Bryan isn't a Steve Austin character. He's the underdog battling the corporate machine, not the rebellious beer swilling redneck. Bryan is still being made to look good, it is only the numbers game and corporate manipulation that is keeping him from success. I am very willing to see where things go.
I will say that I did still have some issues with the length and pacing of the show. The three hours feels long at times still, and the constant replays and promos being long to cover time hurt the flow at times. But overall this was a good effort this week.
Show Rating: 7.0
As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale…
0 - 0.9: Torture 1 - 1.9: Extremely Horrendous 2 - 2.9: Very Bad 3 - 3.9: Bad 4 - 4.9: Poor 5 - 5.9: Not So Good 6 - 6.9: Average 7 - 7.9: Good 8 - 8.9:Very Good 9 - 9.9: Amazing 10: Virtually Perfect
The final rating is not simply an average of the rated segments above. The rating takes them into account as well as the segments that are small but not scored, the flow of the show, the overall booking, build to PPV, crowd reactions, and so on and so forth.
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Larry Csonka is a Pisces and enjoys rolling at jiu jitsu class with Hotty McBrownbelt, cooking, long walks on the beach, Slingo and the occasional trip to Jack in the Box. He is married to a soulless ginger and has two beautiful daughters who are thankfully not soulless gingers; and is legally allowed to marry people in 35 states. He has been a wrestling fan since 1982 and has been writing for 411 since May 24th, 2004; contributing over 3,000 columns, TV reports and video reviews to the site.