411's WWF Sunday Night HEaT Report 7.30.00

Posted by Widro on 07.30.2000

Yeah I know. Widro + Heat = very negative report. What do you want from me when one match is Sgt Slaughter vs. Sho Funaki?

WWF Sunday Night Heat Report 7.30.00
Taped
Announcers are the Vanilla Midgets
Report by… Widro ?

That’s right, it’s the first Widro Heat Report ever. Pescetti has cable problems, he’ll be back soon.

You know what? I’ll take this opportunity to plug my new Voice Of Reason column. It’s all about how much the Undertaker and Kevin Nash have in common! Click here to open it in a new window and read both!

And one last thing, I am gone for the next few Nitros, 411’s Head Action Figures Editor Patt Kitt will be on board for that Nitro ride.

WWF Light Heavyweight Title
Scotty 2 Faggy vs. Deano Machino w/hos
Back and forth stuff for a little bit. Scotty misses a top rope move, Dean takes control. Scotty chant. Nice vertical suplex for the deuce. Rear chinlock. Dean stomps. Scotty with a takedown, both men down. And both men up. Back body drop by Scotty. Dean takes brief control, rollups and stuff. Both on top for some superplex or something, Scotty hits a powerbomb from the top. Oh no! P-U-K-E. Hoo Hoo Hoo and a DEVASTATING SLAP! Dean somehow rolls up Scotty near the ropes, uses the ropes for leverage and gets the fluke win.
Winner and STILL champ: Dean

Joe talks to Kaientai

Commercial Break

Big Bossman vs. Al Snow w/Head
Some action and stuff. Bossman hits Snow with the nightstick. Oops ref didn’t see it!
Winner: Bossman

Foley is here. In comes T&A.

Joe talks to Sgt Slaughter. Maggot.

Commercial Break

Steven Richards/Godfather video package

Joe and Kaientai

Chyna talks to Foley

Commercial Break

Test w/Trish and THE WWF’S BEST MUSIC vs. Rikishi
Rikishi with a big slam. Test rebounds, spinning neck breaker is devastating. Albert is at ringside. Shout out to Stubacaa, who was previously a big fan of the T&A music, but was kicked out of the club after his apathy last Monday night. Trish distracts ref, Albert on apron to hold Rikishi for test and SHOCKINGLY Rikishi moves and Test kicks Albert in the face. Big splash in the corner. Rikishi signals for the “fat ass to the face”. And he hits. Albert is in and that’s a DQ. Double teaming commences.
Winner by DQ: Rikishi

Here comes Too Cool to complete the segment for me. They clear the ring. Oh goody I hope they dance. Yahoo dancing. Is anyone else DYING to see Rikishi just kick the shit out of Too Cool in a huge 30 minute segment?

More Joe with Slaughter. Joe says Kaientai makes fun of Slaughter. Oh wow, I’m so pumped I get to see Slaughter wrestle.

Commercial Break

Sgt Slaughter vs. Funaki w/TAKA
Are you kidding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Slaughter actually dominating. Announcers mock Slaughter’s previous gimmicks. Stun gun by Sarge. Slaughter signals for the Million Dollar Dream, Funaki escapes and moves to the floor. Double noggin knocker on the floor by Slaughter. Back into the ring. Funaki hits a superkick. Funaki distracts ref, TAKA comes in for some cheap shots. Funaki with some chops. Funkai to the top, Slaughter catches him for a back breaker. Cobra clutch. Taka in the ring, he takes out both Kaientai for a while. Clears out Taka. Cobra clutch again.
Winner: Sgt Slaughter

Commercial Break

Shane/Big Show etc video package

Commercial Break

WWF IC Title
Val Venis w/Trish vs. Gross Chyna w/Eddie
Venis kicks and punches to start. Stomps her down into the corner. Clothesline out of the corner, and Chyna take control. Venis still selling the Rikishi splash. Rolls to the floor after a whip to the corner. Eddy attacks on the floor. Back inside, Chyna stomps the wrapped ribs. Vertical suplex. Chyna in control. Venis with a knee lift and Chyna hits a drop toe hold. Handspring elbow in the corner. Clothesline. Cover for 2. Eddy on the apron, Venis distracted, penis punch by Chyna, she knocks Trish off the apron. Chyna hits a DDT. Here comes Saturn for a DQ.
Winner by DQ: Chyna

Eddy comes in to attack Saturn. Eddy and Chyna double team Saturn for a while. Venis has the title. Horny little she devil just stands and watches on the entrance ramp. We’re out.