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411’s WWE Hell in a Cell 2013 Report: 10.27.13
Welcome to 411’s WWE Hell in a Cell 2013 Report. For even more coverage, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter at @ScottSlimmer.
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Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow
Sandow goes to work quickly and goes for a scoop slam, but Kingston floats over and lands on his feet. Sandow charges at Kingston, but Kingston catches him with a back elbow shot for a two count. Sandow heads to the outside to catch a breather, but Kingston catches him with a baseball slide between the ropes. Sandow gets back to his feet and whips Kingston toward the ring steps, but Kingston leaps over them. Kingston puts on the breaks, launches himself off the steps, and takes out Kingston with a somersault senton. Kingston rolls Sandow back into the ring as we head to a break. We come back from the break to find to find both men back in their feet. Kingston this the ropes and charges at Sandow, but Sandow catches him with a power slam for a two count. Sandow follows up with the Cubito Aequet for another two count. Sandow charges Kingston in the corner, but Kingston slides out of the way. Sandow heads up top, but Kingston leaps up from the mat and connects with a hurricanrana from the second rope. Kingston hits the Boom Drop and sets up for Trouble in Paradise, but Sandow ducks. Sandow goes for a back suplex, but Kingston flips over and lands on his feet. Sandow hits a gorgeous springboard crossbody for a two count of his own. Kingston hurricanranas Sandow into the ropes, kicks him in the splash, and hits a slingshot splash for another two count. Kingston goes for Sandow’s leg, but Sandow kicks him in the knee and pulls him neck-first onto the second rope. Sandow gets back to his feet and hits the You’re Welcome! for the three count.
Match Result: Damien Sandow defeats Kofi Kingston with the You’re Welcome!
Match Length: 6:52
Cody Rhodes & Goldust (Champions) vs. The Shield vs. The Usos
Goldust and Seth Rollins start the match. Goldust levels Rollins with a clothesline, and Rollins makes the Jey Uso. Goldust hits the ropes and connects with a running cross body for a two count. Goldust hits an inverted atomic drop and makes the tag to Cody. Jey locks in a standing side head lock as Jimmy makes the blind tag. Cody whips Jey to the ropes, but Jimmy levels him from behind and gets a one count. Jimmy goes for a hip toss, but Cody counters into an attempted hip toss of his own, but Jimmy counters into a scoop slam. Cody escapes to the corner and makes the tag to Goldust. Jimmy whips Goldust to the corner and makes the tag back to Jey. Goldust slugs Jey with a straight right hand, but Roman Reigns makes the blind tag on Jey’s back. Jey whips Goldust to the ropes, and Reigns trips him from the outside. Reigns slides into the ring, traps Goldust in the corner, and makes the quick tag to Rollins. Rollins drops down to the mat and locks in a front chancery, but Goldust fights back to his feet and breaks the hold. Goldust briefly creates some distance, but Rollins muscles him back into the corner and makes the tag to Reigns. Reigns goes to the side headlock and drags Goldust down to the mat. Goldust again fights back to his feet and counters into a backslide pin for a two count. Reigns regains his vertical base and stomps on Goldust. Reigns delivers a vicious head butt, but Goldust fights back with a volley of punches. Goldust dives toward Cody to make the tag, but Reigns catches him by the foot and drags him back to the middle of the ring. Reigns goes for a scoop slam, but Goldust floats over and counters into a DDT. Reigns makes the tag to Rollins, and Rollins immediately drop kicks Cody off the ring apron to prevent Goldust from making a tag. Rollins makes the tag back to Reigns as the Usos beg Goldust to tag one of them. Goldust heads for the Usos, but Reigns and Rollins knock both Usos off the ring apron to again prevent the tag. Reigns heads back into the ring and whips Goldust hard to the corner. Cody is back up on the ring apron, but Reigns is solidly in control of Goldust. Reigns taunts Goldust and begs the “old man” to get back to his feet. Reigns charges at Goldust, but Goldust catches him with a scoop slam. Goldust finally makes the hot tag to Cody, and Cody levels Reigns with a springboard missile drop kick. Reigns makes the tag to Rollins, but Cody catches Rollins with a moonsault for a LOOONG two count. Cody goes for the Disaster Kick, but Rollins ducks. Jimmy made the blind tag as Cody was going for the Disaster Kick, so he slides into the ring. All six men end up in the ring, but Jey Uso takes out everyone except Jimmy and Rollins. Jimmy catches Rollins with a HUGE Samoan Drop for a LOOONG two count of his own. Jimmy heads up top, but Rollins knocks him off balance. Cody tags Jimmy and goes for Cross Rhodes, but Rollins blocks. Rollins takes Cody up top, but Cody pounds on him to regain control. CODY RHODES SUPLEXES SETH ROLLINS FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE TO THE OUTSIDE ONTO GOLDUST, ROMAN REIGNS, AND THE USOS. HOLY SHIT! I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that spot before. Cody drags Rollins back into the ring and makes the cover, but Jimmy comes off the top rope and splashes both men to break up the pin. Jimmy tries to drag Rollins to the corner so that he can make the tag, but Reigns spears Jimmy. Goldust clotheslines Reigns to the outside and punches Rollins. That sets up Cody for Cross Rhodes, and that’s enough for the three count.
Match Result: Cody Rhodes defeats Seth Rollins with Cross Rhodes.
Match Length: 14:38
Miz makes his way to the ring and grabs a microphone. He says that he’s not medically cleared to compete, so he’s here for a fight. “So Bray Wyatt, get out of your Cracker Barrel rocking chair, leave your hillbilly Bushwhackers back in the cabin, and come fight me!” Wyatt appears on the screen and declines to take Miz up on his offer, but Harper and Rowan rush the ring and attack Miz. Things don’t look good for Miz, BUT KANE APPEARS AND MAKES THE SAVE! Harper and Rowan scurry up the ramp to safety, and Miz gets back to his feet to thank Kane. Kane stares and Miz… AND CHOKE SLAMS HIM!
The Great Khali & Natalya w/ Hornswoggle vs. Fandango & Summer Rae
Khali and Fandango start the match. Khali traps Fandango in the corner and delivers a stiff chop to the chest, so Fandango scurries to the corner and makes the tag to Summer Rae. Summer Rae gets right in Khali’s face, but Khali does the chivalrous thing and tags Natalya. Summer Rae goes for a jackknife pin, but Natalya counters into a backslide pin for a two count. Summer Rae hits a passable drop kick, but Natalya gets back to her feet and catches her in a hammer lock. Natalya drags Summer Rae down to the mat and spanks her. Yep. Summer Rae makes the tag to Fandango, so Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter. Fandango rolls to the outside, and Hornswoggle laughs at him. Fandango grabs Hornswoggle by the neck, but Khali grabs Fandango’s head and lifts him back into the ring. Khali slugs Fandango, so Fandango quickly makes the tag to Summer Rae. Natalya rushes into the ring and clotheslines Summer Rae. Natalya goes for the Sharpshooter, but Summer Rae makes it to the ropes. Summer Rae catches Natalya with a quick roll-up pin and miraculously gets the three count.
Match Result: Summer Rae defeats Natalya with a roll-up pin.
Match Length: 4:39
Dean Ambrose (Champion) vs. Big E. Langston
Ambrose unwisely starts the match by slapping Langston right across the face, so Langston simply muscles Ambrose down to the mat for a two count. Ambrose rushes Langston and goes for a cross body, but Langston catches him in mid-air and counters into a back breaker. Ambrose traps Langston in the corner and chops away at him, but Langston fights back to the middle of the ring and delivers a big high knee. Langston lifts Ambrose and locks in bear hug. Ambrose finally breaks the hold and charges at Langston, but Langston back body drops him over the top rope and down to the arena floor. Langston heads to the outside to retrieve Ambrose, but Ambrose pulls him shoulder-first into the ring apron. The crowd is DEAD right now. Like, silent and dead. Ambrose drags Langston back up onto the ring apron and slams his head into the ring post. Langston falls to the floor but manages to roll back into the ring before the referee reaches the count of ten. Ambrose traps Langston in the corner and grinds his knee into Langston’s face. Ambrose wraps up Langston in the ropes and delivers a running drop kick to the chest. The line at the men’s room must be a mile long right now. Ambrose locks in a Camel Clutch, but Langston rights back to his feet and tosses Ambrose to the corner. Ambrose locks in a sleeper hold, but Langston slams him back-first into the corner to break the hold. Langston levels Ambrose with a huge clothesline for a two count. Langston hits the ropes and goes for a splash, but Ambrose rolls out of the way. Langston regains control with a belly-to-belly throw and gets a two count. Langston successfully hits the splash that he missed the first time and gets a two count. Langston has a nasty cut below his right eye, but he’s still going strong. Ambrose tries to flee up the ramp, but Langston chases him and tosses him back into the ring. Ambrose catches Langston with a DDT but only gets a two count. Ambrose charges Langston in the corner, but Langston slides out of the way. Ambrose posts himself in the corner and takes a breather on the ring apron. LANGSTON SPEARS AMBROSE THROUGH THE ROPES AND TO THE FLOOR! Holy crap, I definitely didn’t expect that spot in this match. The referee begins his count on both men. Langston makes it back into the ring, but Ambrose chooses to take the count-out loss in order to retain his championship. After the match, Langston throws Ambrose back into the ring and delivers the Big Ending.
Match Result: Big E. Langston defeats Dean Ambrose via count-out.
Match Length: 8:43
CM Punk vs. Ryback & Paul Heyman
Paul Heyman is driven to the ring in a portable lift truck. The driver stops at the ends of the cage and lifts Heyman up to the top of the cell. Looks like Heyman is going to take part in this match from the safety of the top of the cage. Right, because heading to the top of the Hell in a Cell has never ended in complete disaster for anyone. The match officially starts with Punk and Ryback in the ring, and Heyman up on top of the Cell. Ryback tosses Punk to the outside, but Punk grabs a kendo stick from under the ring and drills Ryback. Ryback rams Punk into the cell and rolls him back into the ring. Ryback traps Punk in the corner and chokes him with the kendo stick. Ryback splashes Punk and gets a two count. Punk clotheslines Ryback out of the ring, but Ryback suplexes Punk into the cage. Ryback suplexes Punk into the cage two more times and rolls him back into the ring. Ryback hits a back suplex for a two count. Ryback locks in a rear chin lock and follows up with a modified stunner for another two count. Ryback locks in a seated bear hug, but Punk fights back to his feet. Ryback charges Punk in the corner, but Punk gets is boot up in Ryback’s face. Punk goes for a springboard clothesline, but Ryback catches him in mid-air and slams him for a two count. Ryback pulls down the straps and goes for Shell Shock, but Punk escapes. Punk grabs the kendo stick and drills Ryback in the gut. Punk delivers a second kendo stick shot to the back and follows up with his patented running knee shot in the corner. Punk levels Ryback with a clothesline, heads up top, and connects with the Macho Man Diving Elbow Drop. Punk once again grabs the kendo stick and waffles Ryback with it. Punk heads out of the ring and slides a table into the ring. Punk begins to set up the table, but Ryback hits him from behind. Ryback sets the table up on its side and drops Punk crotch-first onto the edge of the table. Looks like we’ve got a wood-to-wood collision in Miami. Ryback levels Punk with a clothesline. Ryback sets up the table and goes for Shell Shock through the table, but Punk floats over and low blows Ryback. It’s been a rough match for testicles. Ryback falls onto the table, so Punk heads up top. PUNK HITS THE MACHO MAN DIVING ELBOW DROP THROUGH THE TABLE! Punk follows up with the Go-To-Sleep for the three count.
After the match, Punk grabs the kendo stick and climbs up to the top of the Cell. Heyman begs for mercy, but Punk isn’t in the mood for mercy. Punk drills Heyman in the gut and goes to work with multiple kendo stick shots to the back. Punk calls for the Go-To-Sleep… PUNK HITS HEYMAN WITH THE GO-TO-SLEEP ON TOP OF THE CELL!
Match Result: CM Punk defeats Ryback with the Go-To-Sleep.
Match Length: 13:48
Diego and Cesaro start the match, but Cesaro makes a quick tag to Swagger. Swagger beats Diego down to the mat and makes the quick tag back to Cesaro. Cesaro locks in a side head lock and drags Diego down to the mat, but Diego fights back to his feet. Swagger charges Diego, but Diego back body drops him over the top rope. Diego tries to make the tag to Fernando, but Cesaro pulls him back to the middle of the ring. Cesaro releases Diego and kicks Fernando off the ring apron to prevent the tag. Cesaro delivers the Cesaro Swing to Diego for a 31 revolutions (according to JBL) and gets a two count. Diego finally makes the tag to Fernando as Cesaro makes the tag to Swagger. Fernando hits a back elbow drop off the second rope. Cesaro charge into the ring, but Diego makes the save. Cesaro rams Diego into the barrier on the outside. Swagger locks in the Swagger Lock on Fernando, but Cesaro pulls the rope away from Fernando to prevent him from breaking the hold. Fernando makes the tag to Diego, and Los Matadores double team Swagger for the three count.
Match Result: Los Matadores defeats the Real Americans.
Match Length: 5:34
Alberto Del Rio (Champion) vs. John Cena
Cena takes the fight to Del Rio with a bulldog, but Del Rio immediately goes to work on Cena’s arm with a stiff kick. Del Rio levels Cena with a big boot to the face. Del Rio waits for Cena to get back to his feet and levels him with a second big boot to the face. Cena charges at Del Rio, but Del Rio catches him with a German Suplex for a two count. Del Rio locks in a key lock, but Cena flips Del Rio forward to break the hold. Cena whips Del Rio to the corner and charges toward him, but Del Rio catches Cena with a back elbow shot to the face. Del Rio heads up top and connects with a double ax handle shot for a two count. Del Rio locks in a seated arm bar, but Cena fights up to his feet. Del Rio connects with a kind to the back of Cena’s leg and chokes him across the bottom rope. Del Rio charges at Cena, but Cena slides out of the way, causing Del Rio to tumble to the outside. Del Rio climbs back up onto the ring apron and drops Cena neck-first onto the top rope. Del Rio heads up top and goes for another double ax handle shot, but Cena catches him with a standing drop kick in mid-air. Cena hits the Protobomb and follows up with the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Del Rio counters into a back stabber. Cena heads up top, but Del Rio catches him with the rope-assisted enzuigiri for a two count. Del Rio sets up for another rope-assisted enzuigiri, but Cena ducks. Cena again goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Del Rio counters into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Del Rio ties up Cena in the tree of woe and kicks him in the face. Del Rio charges at Cena, but Cena sits up, causing Del Rio to post himself in the corner. Cena flies from the top rope and catches Del Rio with a cross body for a two count. Cena tries to drag Del Rio back to his feet, but Del Rio catches him with a Code Breaker to the injured arm. Del Rio goes for the cross arm breaker, but Cena rolls and counters into the STF. Del Rio is in trouble, but he just barely manages to get two fingers on the bottom rope to break the hold. Del Rio drills Cena with a kick to the face and gets a long two count. Del Rio locks in the cross arm breaker on the injured arm, but Cena rolls and lifts Del Rio into a powerbomb. Nice counter right there. Del Rio gets back to his feet, but Cena catches him with the Attitude Adjustment for the three count.
Match Result: John Cena defeats Alberto Del Rio with the Attitude Adjustment.
Match Length: 15:04
AJ Lee (Champion) w/ Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella w/ Nikki Bella
AJ wrenches on Brie’s arm, but Brie counters into a suplex. Brie begins to climb the ropes, but AJ catches her and bounces her neck-first off the top rope. Brie tumbles to the outside, so AJ retrieves her and makes the cover for a two count. AJ locks in a Dragon Sleeper and follows up with a neck breaker. Brie goes for a neck breaker of her own, but AJ counters into another Dragon Sleeper. Brie slams AJ into the corner to break the hold and follows up with a missile drop kick. Brie hits two more drop kicks and levels AJ with a clothesline for a two count. Brie charges AJ in the corner, but AJ pulls her face-first into the turnbuckle. AJ goes for the Black Widow, but Brie counters into a single-leg Boston Crab. AJ makes it to the ropes to break the hold. Brie charges at AJ, but AJ ducks out of the way, causing Brie to inadvertently kick Nikki on the outside. That distraction gives AJ enough time to once again lock in the Black Widow, and this time Brie has no choice but to tap.
Match Result: AJ Lee defeats Brie Bella with the Black Widow.
Match Length: 4:47
The Prime Time Players are playing WWE 2K14 in the back when Mr. Bob Backlund begins to verbally assault them. He want kids to be successful. Titus tells him that WWE 2K14 gives kids the chance to be immortal. Titus asks Backlund if he can dance, so Backlund starts to twerk. I really wish I hadn’t had to type that. The Prime Time Players are appalled, so they teach Backlund to do their signature dance.
Special Guest Referee: Shawn Michaels
Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton
Before the match, Triple H makes his way down to the ring to deliver the WWE Championship belt. The cell lowers into position, and here we go. Bryan traps Orton in the corner and goes to work with leg kicks. Orton drops Bryan gut-first onto the top rope, waits for Bryan to fall to the mat, and then does it a second time. Orton drops Bryan gut-first onto the top rope for a third time and then shoulder blocks him off the ring apron and into the cell wall. Orton follows Bryan out of the ring and whips him into the ring steps. Orton picks up the top section of the steps and rams it into Bryan’s shoulder. Orton sets up the bottom section of the steps and tries to whip Bryan into them, but Bryan reverses the momentum and whips Orton into the steps. Bryan goes to work with kicks to the chest and slams Orton face-first into the cell wall. Bryan slams Orton’s face into the steps and rolls him back into the ring. Bryan covers Orton and gets a two count. Bryan kicks Orton in the chest and back before taking him up top. Bryan ties up Orton in the tree of woe and delivers a basement drop kick to the face. Orton gets back to his feet and charges at Bryan, but Bryan low bridges the top rope, sending Orton tumbling to the outside and into the cell wall. Bryan goes for a suicide dive, but Orton slides out of the way, sending Bryan flying face-first into the cell wall. Orton picks up Bryan and rams him nether regions-first into the ring post. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s six testicles that have been assaulted in Hell in a Cell matches tonight. Orton hits his patented back breaker off the ring apron and rolls Bryan back into the ring. Orton takes Bryan up top and goes to work with a vicious series of head butts. Orton heads up top with Bryan, but Bryan counters into a sunset flip powerbomb. Bryan and Orton slug it out on their knees and fight their way back to their feet. Orton whips Bryan to the ropes, but Orton catches him with a clothesline on the rebound. Bryan drop kicks Orton in the corner two times and then goes back to the chest kicks. Bryan takes Orton up top and hits a super hurricanrana. Bryan heads up top and connects with the Benoit Flying Head Butt for a two count. Bryan goes for head kick, but Orton ducks. Bryan goes for the Yes Lock, but Orton slides out of the ring to break the hold. Bryan follows Orton out of the ring and repeatedly whips him shoulder-first into the cage wall. Bryan grinds Orton’s face into the cage and then drop kicks him into the cage. Bryan retrieves a steel chair from under the ring and drives it into Orton’s gut. Bryan connects with a chair shot to the back and follows up with a few more. Bryan throws NINE STEEL CHAIRS into the ring, prompting a very apropos “ECW! ECW! ECW!” chant from the crowd. Bryan grabs a tenth steel chair, waffles Orton, and rolls him into the ring. Orton grabs a chair and connects with a shot to the back to finally regain control. Orton connects with a few more chair shots to the back for a two count. Orton piles all ten chairs in the middle of the ring and takes Bryan up top. Orton looks for a superplex onto the pile of chairs, but Bryan fights back. Orton regains control, and ORTON SUPERPLEXES BRYAN ONTO THE PILE OF CHAIRS! Actually, the chair were a bit out of position, so really only Bryan’s legs landed on them. Orton covers Bryan but only gets a two count. That’s enough for Triple H to storm down to the ring to have a word with Michaels. Triple H and Michaels argue through the cell, while Orton hits Bryan with a T-Bone Suplex in the ring. Orton covers Bryan, but Michaels is still arguing with Triple H. Orton heads to the outside and tells Michaels the he better not screw him out of the title. Michaels heads back into the ring, and Orton hits his patented rope-assisted DDT on Bryan. Orton sets up for the RKO, but Bryan counters and shoves Orton away. Bryan’s shove inadvertently sends Orton into Michaels, and Michaels is down. Bryan levels Orton with the running high knee and makes the cover, but Michaels is down. Triple H has the referees unlock the cell for him as Bryan checks on Michaels. Triple H pulls Bryan off Michaels, so BRYAN HITS TRIPLE H WITH THE RUNNING HIGH KNEE! TRIPLE H IS OUT! Michaels sees Bryan take out Triple H, so instinctively SHAWN MICHAELS HITS DANIEL BRYAN WITH SWEET CHIN MUSIC! RANDY ORTON COVERS DANIEL BRYAN, AND SHAWN MICHAELS HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO COUNT TO THREE!
Match Result: Randy Orton defeats Daniel Bryan after Shawn Michaels delivers Sweet Chin Music to Bryan.
Match Length: 21:44
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