411's WWF Raw Is War Report 7.16.01
Posted by PK on 07.16.2001
Will Austin be back in time for Invasion?
411's WWF Raw is War Report 7.16.01
Live from Providence RI
Announcers are Cole and JR
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for 411 by PK
Sorry about last week, the power went out at my place, and I lost my Raw recap before I could post it. Thanks to Dan The Man over at RajahWWF.com for
Video clips of Vince's plea for the old Stone Cold.
Stone Cold is sitting on his ass drinking beers at the "Friendly Tap." You know, that bar the APA always go to.
Intro. Tazz vs. William Regal. Undertaker and Kane take on DDP and Rhyno. Rhyno better has ECW Title Belt.
Spike Dudley comes out. He has a major announcement. Either he's going to ask Molly to marry him, or he's joining ECW. He asks Molly to come down. He says that he thinks he loves her, Molly returns with a "I think I love you too." Spike gives her a rose, and Molly says that he has something for Spike too. Molly whispers something in his ear, and Spike gets excited, and they go to leave. Just as they were about to get out of the ring, the ECW theme blares. Paul E. Comes down and tells Spike that he, and the other Dudley's want him to come home to ECW. Paul says that, with some liposuction and some breast enhancements, there will be a place for Molly as well. Spike then goes apeshit. Bubba Ray and D'Von make their way out. Bubba is sick of Spike stealing the spotlight, because no matter how hard they work, or how much they get their asses kicked, all everyone wants to know is "How is Spike and Molly?" D'Von says that it's time to do something about that. The bigger Duds beat up Spike, and tie him up in the ropes. Molly gets frisky, and nails Bubba with a chair, but D'Von gets the best of her, and they set up a table. Bubba on the turnbuckle, drives Molly though the table with a powerbomb!! No Holly's??
Kurt Angle practicing his acceptance of the leader of Team WWF, and Vince comes in and asks where Steve Austin is. Angle, disappointedly, says that Austin is at the Friendly Tap.
WWF's Faarooq (w/ Bradshaw) vs. WCW's Chuck Palumbo (w/ Sean O'Haire)
CP rushes the ring, but Faarooq takes him out. CP with a dropkick to regain the advantage. Bradshaw and O'Haire start brawling on the outside. CP with a big DDT in the ring. CP off the ropes, spinebuster by Faarooq. O'Haire has Faarooq distracted, CP sneaks in the Mafia kick for the pin.
Winner - Palumbo
Kurt complaining to the Brooklyn Brawler. Raven interrupts and starts ranting a poem. Angle wants to know what Raven's talking about, and Raven challenges him to a match, ECW Rules. Angle agrees but puts in that ECW does not rule, the WWF rules. Hmm...
Lugz Boot of the Week: E & C with the ConChairTo on Awesome to help Jeff Hardy win the Hardcore Title.
Lance Storm & Mike Awesome come down to the ring. Storm challenges Edge and Christian for Invasion. He then says that he is sick of E&C's offbeat shenanigans. E&C come out. Christian calls them Reekasaurs Rex's! HAHAHA. They accept, and Edge says that offbeat shenanigans rule!!
ECW's Mike Awesome (w/ Lance Storm) vs. WWF's Edge (w/ Christian)
Awesome just picks Edge apart to start the whole match. Awesome off the top, but Edge nails a dropkick. Edge with a bulldog variation. Edge goes for a suplex, but Awesome reverses it and nails a release German Suplex. Out of nowhere, Edge his the Implant DDT, JR calls it the Buzzkiller. Storm puts Awesome's leg on the rope. Christian and Storm start fighting. Storm is taken out, and E&C go for a ConChairTo on Awesome. The WCW Ref stops it, and Storm hits a superkick on Edge for Awesome to pick up the win.
Winner - Mike Awesome.
Stephanie and Booker T talking backstage. Jericho comes up and says that it's good Steph owns ECW, because it now stands for "Every Customer Welcome." HAHA. Booker then gets in Jericho's face and challenges him to a match. Jericho then says that just so long as the WCW Title is on the line, he's in.
Corn Nuts Hardcore Smack of the Night: Tazz beating up Tajiri last week on Smackdown.
Regal getting ready for his match with Tazz. He will allow Tajiri to do commentary again.
Steph, Shane, & Paul talking about Invasion. Booker T, DDP, Dudley Boyz, and Rhyno will be in the ring for team ECWCW.
Vince walks into the Friendly Tap, and begs for Austin's help. He says that no one has challenged the WWF they way the ECWCW has. He really needs Austin. Austin just turns his back. McMahon says that he's going back to the arena, and he hopes to see him there later.
ECW's Tazz vs. WWF's Commissioner William Regal (w/ Tajiri)
Tazz goes for Tajiri, but Regal cuts him off. They get in the ring to start the match, and Regal beats down Tazz. Regal out of the corner, Tazz nails a T-Bone Suplex. Tajiri on the apron. He gets in the ring and takes off his shirt to reveal an ECW shirt! He wants to double team Regal with Tazz! Tazz goes toward Regal, and Tajiri nails Tazz in the back of the head with a kick! Tajiri then puts the Tarantula on Tazz, and Regal beats Tazz down. Tajiri takes off the ECW shirt, and sprays the green mist on it.
DDP comes into Rhyno's lockerroom. DDP says that this will be a night to remember. He then tells Rhyno to get the guys together, and he will have a private showing of a Sara tape. Hmmm...
WWF Ref, Tim White, owner of the Friendly Tap, tells Austin that he knows Austin will make the correct decision.
WCW's Booker T (w/ Shane McMahon) (c) vs. WWF's Chris Jericho - WCW World Title
Jericho is wearing his kick ass red barbwire tights. Back and forth start, Y2J with a series of hip tosses. Booker on the apron, Jericho with a springboard dropkick. Y2J sends Booker back in the ring, and then nails a flying crossbody for 2. Booker fires back, nailing a spin heel kick, and he starts chopping away on Y2J in the corner. Jericho bounces out of the corner, goes to lock on the Walls, but Shane up on the apron distracts Jericho, and Booker nails a superkick. Booker sends Jericho off the ropes, nails a spinebuster (Cole calls it a powerbomb....please Cole, don't be a Tony). Jericho fights back, nails a slapjack. Both men down for a 8 count. Jericho up first, starts firing away, nails a Second rope missile dropkick. WCW Ref Nick Patrick fakes a shoulder injury. Jericho then goes for a Lionsault, Booker moves, but Jericho is able to lock on the Walls. Patrick isn't paying attention, and WWF Ref Earl Hebner comes down and knocks out Patrick. Hebner goes to call for the bell, but Shane clocks Hebner. Booker out of the Walls, rolls up Y2J, Patrick with a fast count for the win.
Winner and Still Champion - Booker T
Terri with Saturn. Saturn has put a face on the mop. HAHAHA. Terri has a match with Trish later. Paul Heyman comes in and wants to talk to Saturn. Paul wants to recruit Saturn for ECWCW. He wants to know what Saturn thinks. Saturn's response: "Snasausages" HAHAHAHA.
ECW's Raven (w/ a cart full of stuff) vs. WWF's Kurt Angle - ECW Rules
Quick match, Angle dominates. Angle nails the Olympic Slam, and locks on the Ankle Lock for the duke. Angle then locks a series of submissions on Raven to punish him. Angle grabs a chair, and starts to pummel Raven. Kanyon, Meat and Credible come down, but Angle holds them off with the chair. Angle fricking rules!
Winner - Angle
Austin and Debra (who actually looks good tonight, if you don't have to see her face) playing pool.
WWF's Hardy Boyz vs. ECW's Dudley Boyz
D'Von and Matt throw punches back and forth to start. Matt with a neckbreaker for 2. Jeff in with a blind tag, Double teaming on D'Von, then Poetry in Motion on Bubba. D'von with a double clothesline, Duds now with the advantage. Bubba on the top, Jeff nails a hurra canranna for 2. Both men tag, Matt cleaning house. Leg drop on D'Von for 2. ToF on D'Von, Swanton, but Bubba stops the count. D'Von rolls up Matt, Rob Van Dam comes down to help out. D'Von gets the pin. RVD then hits his Five Star Frog Splash on Jeff!
Winners - Dudley Boyz
APA watching on the TV backstage. Vince comes back in, and tells the APA to round up the troops, because it looks like Austin won't be a help at Invasion.
Shane, Steph, and Paul rally the ECWCW troops. Steph says that they have invested all of their WWF stock to own ECW and WCW, and now it's time to put up. There is no way the WWF can win this! Paul says that Jeff Hardy is now scared of RVD, and Tajiri has no shot against Tazz. The whole lockerroom goes nuts!
Vince, the APA, and Undertaker walk into the board room the WWF Stars are in. Vince said that he was hoping to have Austin here, then Taker interjects. He is sick of hearing about Austin, it's one thing to fight and lose, but it's another to not fight at all. They wheel Classy Freddy Blassie in, and he says that it's time to stand up for what they believe in. The whole room is on their feet chanting "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!"
Austin sees this on the TV at the Friendly Tap. He breaks a pool cue over the pool table and leaves.
WWF's Trish Stratus vs. WWF's Terri Runnels
This match blows, neither are wrestlers. Trish hits the Bulldog for the win. Trish goes to pull Terri's top off, and Torrie Wilson and Stacey Keibler come down to the ring. They start to beat up Trish, until Lita comes down to clear house. She knocks Torrie out of the ring, and hits the ToF on Stacey.
Winner - Trish
WCW's DDP & ECW's Rhyno vs. WWF's Kane & The Undertaker
Kane and UT in the ring and clear house. Kane and Rhyno in, Kane tears apart Rhyno, Taker in, goes old school on Rhyno. DDP in, sidewalk slam by Taker, all 4 men in the ring. Dudleys and Booker come down. APA, Angle, Jericho come down...the ring fills with guys. Outside, Hugh Morrus, Justin Credible, and Mark Jindrak beating on the Hollys. Austin's truck rolls up, and he takes out all 3 ECWCW men. Backstage, E&C are beat up by Shane Helms and Meat. Austin enters, and beats them both up. In the arena, the glass shatters. Austin charges out, hits stunners on anyone that moves! O'Haire, Tazz, Bubba Ray, Kanyon, D'Von, Palumbo & Dreamer all go down. Taker and Kane with a choke slam on Kidman and Chavo Jr. Jericho, Taker, Angle, Kane and Austin standing tall.
Brawler wheeling Blassie out of the arena, Steph and Shane stop him. Steph says that he and the WWF have something in common, they are both about to die!