wrestling / TV Reports

411’s WWE RAW Report 11.4.13

November 4, 2013 | Posted by Tony Acero

Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: Randy Orton
World Champion: John Cena
US Champion: The Shield’s Dean Ambrose
IC Champion: Curtis Axel
Unified Diva’s Champion: AJ Lee
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes and Goldust

I’m baaaaack!!


We start the show with the always awesome CM Punk!!! He’s got a haircut…I think. No, wait, it’s just wet. It looks like we’re getting a match with the ol Punkster!!! It’s with one of the Wyatt brothers!! The ropes are still pink! Long live the boobies!!

Match 1: CM Punk vs Luke Harper

Harper shoves Punk into the corner and rushes him. I miss some stuff, and come back as Punk tries to suicide dive only for Harper to hit him in the face to stop it. Harper rolls Punk in and pins for 1 then goes for a few eights. He lifts Punk then goes bfor a backbreaker. He hits it. Harper steps atop of Punk’s head as he looks towards Wyatt who is sitting ringside. Harper down on the ground and he gator rolls Punk with a side headlock. Nice. Punk is able to get out of it. He kicks, another, a roundhouse, but Harper reverses and sends Punk into the corner. Punk in the corner agian, but Punk moves, and sends Harper to the outside!! Punk watches over Harper as Rowan comes from around the ring and we get a commercial break!

We are back ,and Harper is in control. This comes from a Big Boot that we missed. Harper has a chin lock from behind but Punk turns into it and hits the ropes. Harper follows quickly and hits Punk right in the chest. Harper with a hit and a cover for 1…2..NO! Another cover and a 1 count. Harper drops some rights on the head of Punk then pinches the nose. Harper with the gator roll again. Punk is able to get out of it. He hits a high elbow and goes up top! Tornado DDT!! Both men up! They trade blows! Punk with a dropkick! Axe handle! Neckbreaker! Harper is in the corner. Running High Knee from Punk! Punk wants the elbow!! He considers it, but flies over to the outside onto Rowan!!! Harper goes to attack, but Punk hops up on the ropes, springboards, RIGHT into a Big Boot!!

Harper wants a finish…or a hug. He spins, looking for the clothesline, but Punk ducks and rolls up Harper! Pin for 1…2…3!!
Official Result: CM Punk
Pretty standard match on the big guy’s part. He depends a bit too much on the restholds, but still he had a good showing.
RATING: **

As expected, Rowan comes in to attack. Harper helps in as Wyatt heads into the ring. Harper and Rowan have Punk on his knees as Bray stares at Punk. Here’s Daniel Bryan with a pony tail!! He sends Bray to the outside! Punk has a steel chair! Harper gets sent out of the ring as Punk and Bryan stand in the middle of the ring. Bryan is bandaged up.

Cole speaks about the lawsuit Big Show has on the company, and this leads to a vid of Triple H where he says that as of now, The Big Show is banned from the WWE for life (for life, for life, for life)…

JBL brings up the KO punch that Big Show gave Triple H, and says that Show deserves the ban.

Cole brings up our control, and how we can vote for Randy Orton’s opponent tonight; Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, or Big E. Langston. King informs us of a six-man later tonight as The Rhodes and John Cena take on Sandow and The Real Americans

-Commercial Break

CM Punk is in the back with Renee Young, and he’s got something to say. She asks if he expected a fair fight. Punk says no, but it never is. He’s been dealing with Heyman and his goons, so he knows what it’s like to be outnumbered. He accepts it. He’s not the only one that has an issue with the Wyatts, though…then he walks away after giving Young the wink and the gun.

Apparently, Paul Heyman is on the phone. So, this is WWE 12…Heyman says that he is in Europe, and is seeing a number of specialists due to the injuries that he recieved. He’s got a bunch of trauma and his spine is all kinds of messed up. His kidneys are bruised and he has intense facial swelling. He calls himself an innocent man and father of two. He calls what Punk did inexcusable, and begins crying. He feels everyone owes him an apology. Heyman hangs up when Cole pulls his man card.

Speakin of cards….we have match next with Ryback and…Khali, that apparently started when Ryback dumped a cupcake on Hornswoggle’s head only to be protected by Santino and Khali. Ryback calls them freaks. It’s no Shampoo commercial but….

Match 2: Ryback vs The Great Khali

Khali gets Ryback in the corner and hits some slow elbows, then sends him to the adjacent corner and hits a hard chop. Khali grabs the ear of Ryback and hits another chop to the chest. One more for fun! khali sends Ryback in the corner and chokes him up but Ryback escapes and tries to lift him. He opts to send Khali to the corner instead, and runs….right into an elbow then a big boot! But Ryback stays up…until he runs into a chop. Khali with a right hand. Khali misses a chop, and Ryback comes flying back with a hard clothesline and a pin for 1…2…3!!

Khali misses a chop, and Ryback comes flying back with a hard clothesline and a pin for 1…2…3!!
Official Result: Ryback
So they’re keeping him strong-ish. But for what?
RATING: *

After the match, Ryback pulls Santino out of the ring. He is about to attack, but Hornswoggle distracts. Santino hops on the back of Ryback and Horny makes a run for it. Ryback claims he still rules and heads up the ramp.

We get a recap of Big Show’s KO to the former tag champs, allowing the Rhodes their opportunity to hold the belt.

Match 3: Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio starts with a quick kick then sends Kofi into the corner. He hits him with a shoulder to the gut but the ref breaks him out. Kofi reverses and sends Del Rio into the corner with some rights. Del Rio with a hard kick out of the corner. He sends Kofi down, some rope work, Kofi with an elbow. Del Rio against the ropes. Kofi hits the ropes then clotheslines Del RIo to the outside apron. Kingston flies right into Del Rio, sending him to the mat!! Kofi rolls Del Rio in the ring, then covers for 1…2..NO! Del Rio sends Kofi into the corner, Kofi goes for his kick, but Del Rio hops up and stomps Kofi down! Nice!

Del Rio runs with a kick to th head of Kofi, then pulls Kofi’s head from the outside. He chokes him up on the apron as the ref counts. Del Rio heads up top, and flies down with an axe handle. Del Rio grabs Kofi between the ropes and hits some right hands the na kick to the gut of Kofi. Ouch. Del Rio drags Kofi in for a cover. 1….2…NO! Del RIo tells the ref to count faster then lifts Kofi up. GERMAN!! Pin for 1…2.NO! Kofi gets choked up, but is able to break out of it with a rollup. 1…2..NO!! Kofi hits the ropes and runs right into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Pin for 1…2…NO!! Del Rio with a chin lock, but it’s short lived. Kofi turns into it, only for Del Rio to hit some headbutts. Kofi in the corner. Del Rio goes for the ENziguri, but Kofi ducks! Kofi up top! He flies off with a crossbody! Pin for 1…2..NO!! So close. Kofi grabs the head, and Del Rio sends him in the corner. He runs right into a double boot from Del Rio. Kofi hops up top! Cross body! Pin for 1…2….NO!! Kofi with some chops to the chest. Dropkick! He misses a kick, and Del Rio kicks Kofi right in the gut! Del Rio runs, but Kofi trips the leg and rolls up for 1…2..NO!!!

Kofi wants the SOS. He sets up, but Del Rio reverses into the Cross Arm Breaker!!! Kofi tries to block, but Del Rio locks it in!! Kofi Taps!!
Official Result: Alberto Del Rio
Solid match with some great sequences and reversals, although it seemed mostly Kingston.
RATING: **1/2

Yet another video highlighting Triple H and Steph’s unlawful attitudes, complete with highlighted terms on the side such as Slander, Defamation, Breach of Contract, etc. while showing clips that coincide with said accusation. It’s an interesting way of doing it, but this – and all the other videos already played and yet to be played – further shows exactly WHAT storyline is the more important one – and it’s the one with Triple H.

-Commercial Break-

Before King can let us know who won the poll, Orton wants to say something. He questions our empowerment due to us being able to choose his opponent. He wants us to look to our left and right, what do we see? A girlfriend, wife, mother? Right now, those women are fantasizing about him. hahaha. If it’s a boyfriend, husband, or father, then no matter how hard they try, they will never amount to half the man Orton is. As he looks around, he sees jealousy, envy, failure, and he’s disgusted by it. He’s the face of the WWE, and the only thing we have power over tonight, is who will be the viper’s next victim. And the winner is….Big E Langston by a huge margin!!!

Match 4: Randy Orton vs Big E. Langston

Orton starts with a kick then a headbutt, uppercut, and some rights into a side headlock. E sends him into the ropes and Big E hits a shoulder that looked as vicious as ever. Orton quickly rolls out to regroup. He gets back in at 4. Lockup into a go behind from Orton. Big E reverses and hits a belly to back. Front faced headlock from the rookie and a cover for 1. but Orton kicks out. Orton is sent in the corner, but Big E hits a whip and an elbow then a cover for 1…NO! Big E lifts Orton and hits a hard right to the gut of Orton. Big E lifts Orton and hits a hard right hand, and Orton heads to the outside again. Orton back in, this time at 5. Orton stalks, then hits a dropkick out of nowhere. Cover, and barely gets a 1. Orton sends Big E to the apron. He wants the DDT, but Big E drops him over his head. Orton lands on the apron. Big E hits the ropes and charges Orton, sending him to the mat!

We’re back after a break, and Big E has Orton in the corner .He hits some mounted rights then a short clothesline. Orton rolls out but this time, Langston follows and slams his head into the steps. He stalks Orton, but Orton pulls him down, sending his head to the apron. Orton rolls Big E back in the ring then hops up on the apron. Big E is quick to hit a right, though! He hits the ropes, and goes for a shoulder block, but Orton moves!! Big E flies through the ropes to the outside and lands on his shoulder. On the outside, Orton hits a hard clothesline, then rolls Big E back in the ring. Cover for 1…2..NO! Orton with the stomps to various appendages. He then locks in a cravat from above. Big E stands and backs Orton into the corner!! Big E with a shoulder into the gut of the cornered Orton. Big E with a clothesline to Orton! Another! Belly – to – Belly!!! Orton hits the ropes!! BIG SPLASH! Cover for 1….2…NO!!! Orton kicks out!!! Big E grabs Orton, but Orton hits a kick then the backbreaker and a pin for 1…2..NO! Orton sends Big E into the ringpost shoulder first, then sends Big E to the apron for his patent DDT. He hits it!!! Orton hears voices, y’all. He goes for the RKO, but Langston pushes Orton away! A big explosion from Big to on the chest of Orton (um…I mean….)

Big E gets Orton up! Orton floats off! RKO!! Pin!! 1…2….3!!!
Official Result: Big E. Langston
This may very well have been the coming out party for Big E, and an amazing match from the rookie. Way to go! Now follow up!
RATING: ***1/2

Yet another recap of Triple H saying his “As of this moment, this moment right here, of all the moments….this moment……the moment….”

I’m curious as to how they’re going to bring Vince into the show, considering Show is suing the company that he owns…

And now, for something completely different…

-Commercial Break-

We got a KIDD sighting!!!!!

Match 5: Fandango and Summer Rae vs. Tyson Kidd and Natalya

Kidd and Fandango to start. Fanny with a kick, but Kidd sends him to the ropes. Kidd pushes, but Fandango knocks him down. Some great rope work ends with Fandango flipping and showing Kidd hasn’t missed a step. Tag to Summer. Nattie is in. They talk some trash, so Nattie pulls the legs. Fandango distracts, allowing Summer to drop Nattie forward. Summer with a pin for 2. Summer with a scissors lock from behind. Nattie turns around and lifts up Summer. Summer rolls over and pins for 1. Double clothesline from the ladies. Summer needs another dress. Tag to Fandango. He runs towards the corner, and Tyson hits a high kick. Dropkick! Kicks ot the legs! Kick to the face! Whip fro mFandango, Kid bicycle kicks up Fandango, then grabs Fandango by the legs and sends him over the ropes! Hard kick from Tyson!! Kidd calls for the top turnbuckle, but Summer distracts and Fandango trips him up. Fandango up top!!

Fandango goes for a leg drop, but Tyson is up and catches him! He wants the Sharpshooter! He locks it in! Nattie is here to send Summer Rae to the outside! Fandango taps!!!
Official Result: Tyson Kidd and Natalya
So excited he’s back! Good return.
RATING: **

Backstage, Renee Young is with Sandow. She wants his thoughts about losing. He says the thought of the ref counting 1, 2, 3 doesn’t keep him up all night? The thought of his pride being taken from him….oh no, that doesn’t come up at all. When yo are stripped of everything, you must look at yourself. When he saw himself, he didn’t see an intellectual savior, he saw a man willing to do whatever it took to get what he wants and….he’s interrupted by a talking mustache, with the Real Americans behind it. He claims that tonight, Sandow will get his revenge along with the help of The Real Americans. They do their We the People thang, and Sandow gets the last word, calling himself our Uncrowned World Champion as we go to break.

-Commercial Break-

Before the next match, John Cena comes out to talk about boobs. He’s got his Cena voice on, so looks like he left his Training Day DVD at home. He says that the pink shirts will be available all year long, with proceeds still going to the cause. He invites some survivors to stand.

Match 6: Cody Rhodes, Goldust and John Cena vs Damien Sandow and The Real Americans

Damien and Cena to start. Kick to Cena, but Cena reverses and sends Sandow into the corner. Bulldog from Cena. Pin for 1. Tag to Cody. Cody is in with a pin after a double team move for 1..NO! Sandow whips Cody into the corner. Sandow runs, and Cody rolls him up for 1…2.NO! Tag to Swagger. Swagger is in, and Cody sends him into the turnbuckle headfirst. Tag to Goldust, whip of Swagger, and Goldy with a dropkick. Goldust with a right hand and a whip, goes for a hip toss, then opts for a kick. Cover for Goldust for 1 as Zeb points out how unfair it is that Cena came back and got a shot automatically, then calls Cena an American in name only. hahaha.

I get back to the match after laughing so hard, and we’re with Cesaro and Cena. Lockup!! Cena overpowers and shoves Cesaro away. Cena calls for a test of strength. We get dueling chants. They lock hands and go chest to chest. Cesaro seems to win over, but of course, Cena taps into his reserves and overpowers Cesaro. Cesaro goes down low with a kick, then hits an uppercut. Another in the corner. Whip to Cena is revesered, and Cesaro goes into the corner. He comes out into a suplex from Cena. Pin for 1 right into a cravat from Cena. Tag to Goldy! Goldust is in with a pin for 1. Goldust goes down and hits a right then a cover, getting the first 2 count. Goldust drops a knee then pulls Cesaro into the corner. Tag to Cody. Cody with a front suplex then a pin. Cover for 1…2.NO! Cody works the arm, but Cesaro hits a right then a kick. Tag to Sandow. Shoulder thrusts in the corner. Sandow sends Cody into the corner, but Cody reverses then hits an up and over on Sandow. Cody sends Sandow into the corner shoulder first then tags in Cena. Cena sets up for the AA, but Sandow rolls off to the outside of the ring!

We’re back, and Cesaro tosses Cena up like nothing for an uppercut. Pin for 1…2..NO!! Cesaro with a tag to Swagger. Swagger is in with a pin for 1…2..No! Swagger bomb! Pin for 1…2.NO! Tag to Sandow. Sandow with some rights in the middle of the ring. He misses one, Cena with a half nelson lift into a neckbreaker. Well check you out, Cena. Swagger prevents a tag with an axehandle. Kneees in the corner from Swagger. Swagger with a front faced headlock. Cena tries to strength himself out of it. He stands. He lifts Swagger and tosses him over, but Swagger grabs the ankle! Patriot Lock! Cena tosses Swagger forward, but Swagger comes back quick with a clothesline and a tag from Cesaro. Swagger pulls Cena towards his corner, and Cesaro drops an elbow then slaps Cena around. Cesaro with an uppercut. Pin from Cesaro for 1…2…NO! Cesaro lifts Cena, but misses a clothesline. Cena with a Hurricanrana….wait, what?!

Cesaro, wisely, doesn’t let go of Cena’s leg! Tag to Sandow. Sandow is in and attacks the left arm! He slams it against the mat, drops a leg, then pins for 1…2..NO! Sandow with an arm lock from behind. He screams at Cena. Cena, with one arm, goes for the AA, but Sandow is abkle to reverse and pin for 1…2..NO!! Sandow is up. He’s waiting. Cena turns. Clothesline from Sandow! Sandow up again, he runs, but Cena lifts Sandow up, turns him around and hits a modified powerbomb. Cena is up, and gets the tag to Goldust! Cesaro is in!!

Goldust with a clothesline, another, he gets whipped. Stops, uppercut. Inverted Atomic Drop! Kick to the face! Cesaro in the corner! Goldust with 6 punches, then one to Swagger! Whip from Cesaro, but Goldust hits an elbow. Goldust from the top rope with a cross body! Pin for 1…NO! Sandow saves it! Rhodes with a high dropkick to Sandow!! Disaster kick to Swagger!! Cena with the AA on Swagger!! Sandow with the Full Nelson slam to Cena! Cody sends Sandow to the outside!! Cesaro is in the ring, and he has Goldusts legs!! Cesaro with the Swing!!! JBL counts in Spanish for some reason! Cesaro lets go, and Goldust rolls out of the ring quickly. Cesaro heads out to grab him. He sends Goldust into the ring, but Cena is here! Cesaro goes to attack, so Cena tosses him into Colter, then sends Cesaro back in the ring! Goldust grabs! BULLDOG!! Cody hits Sandow with a Moonsault from the top!! Cena is up top, too! He flies into Cesaro! Waaaaa!!!

Goldust with the Final Cut on Antonio Cesaro!! Pin! 1…..2….3!!!!
Official Result: John Cena, Goldust, and Cody Rhodes
Cena busted out a moveset!! A solid six man with a spectacular ending!
RATING: ***3/4

After the match, we get Exhibits A-P…you know, that thing we saw about 30 minutes ago?

The Big Show is walking in the backstage area, shakes some hands, then we head to Trip’s office. Vickie barges in and tells him that The Big Show is here. Steph walks in, and she says she let Show in because the Board has demanded it…Apparently, they said that they do not want to take any risks with the lawsuit, they’ve got too much going on. Triple H doesn’t care; he said he was banned, so he is banned. This isn’t about them, though, it’s about the WWE. Steph tells Trips that he never had any problem taking any McMahon family money. This is not about them, it’s bigger than that, and the board is demanding a settlement. No attornies, just them and Show. Triple H claims he hates Show. HHH sends Vickie to get Show and send him to their office. Triple H is left standing like a huge baby who got his Xylephone taken away…

-Commercial Break-

Match 7: Mr. Perfect’s Son vs. Curtis Axel

Lockup to start! Axel grabs the arm and we get a hammer lock. Dolph turns into it and reverses. Axel with an elbow. He hits a right hand then another. Headlock from Axel. Dolph pushes him towards the rope. Shoulder tackle. Whip to the ropes, Dolph hops over. Dropkick and a pin for 1…NO! Dolph runs and hops on the turnbuckle, but Axel grabs him by the trunks and drops him down. Axel with an elbow drop, then a forearm rub against the head of Dolph. Axel grabs Dolph by the head. Axel sends Dolph to the ropes and hits a dropkick to the returning Dolph. Pin for 1…2..NO! Axel with a modified camel clutch from behind. Dolph is able to get in a seated position, but Axel brings him back down. Dolph stands and jawjacks Axel with his head. Axel runs into the corner, but Dolph moves and sends Axel into the ringpost shoulder first. Dolph with some punches in the corner, followed by a neckbreaker and an elbow then a pin for 1…2.NO! Axel is able to get the upperhand and sets up for a powerbomb. Dolph with the rights, he rolls over then hits the Fameasser! Pin for 1…2..NO! Dolph goes for the Zig Zag, but Axel holds the ropes.

He grabs, goes for the neckbreaker, but Dolph with the reversal! ZIG ZAG! Pin! 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Dolph Ziggler

RATING: **

Backstage, Renee Young wants to talk to Bryan. He’s all taped up (and was earlier, sorry I didn’t tell ya). She wants to know if it’s smart for Bryan to be here with the injuries he sustained. He says normally, no, but considering he wanted payback and saw an opportunity, he took it. He says it looks like someone else has an issue with the Wyatt’s, too….sounds like Punk, ey?

Backstage, Triple H tells Steph that they should just write a big check. A big enough check will make this all go away. Vickie walks in after a knock, and says Big Show is willing to meet with them, but not in their office. He wants to meet them in the ring. Triple H uses that cerebral assassin mind and says: “He wants witnesses.”

Match 8: The Usos vs 3MB

Drew and….Uso to start. Splash in the corner on Drew, then a missed attack to Heath results in Drew hitting a nice kick to one of the Usos and a pin for 1..2..NO! Tag to Heath, then a double suplex. Heath covers for 1…2..NO! Heath with a whip to the corner. Tag to Drew. Drew chokes up Jimmy then locks the arm. Chop to Drew, but Drew reverses and lifts up Jimmy. A spin and a drop follwoed by a pin, but Jey breaks it up. Drew slaps Jimmy around, then tags in Heath. Slater drops one Uso, then spears the other off the apron. Heath goes up top.

Heath flies…right into a Superkick! Tag to Jey! Jey with a crossbody! Pin for 1…2…3!!
Official Result: The Usos
Too quick to mean anything, but the right team won.
RATING: *

Backstage with Renee, and we’ve got Los Matadores here! We get a highlight reel of their work. El Torito comes by, and they tell Renee that he is a little bit…Horny. Oh dear. Well then…

Match 8: The Bella Twins and Eva Marie vs. AJ Lee, Aksana, and Tamina

Tamina and Nikki to start. Go behind from Nikki, but Tamina backs her into the corner. Tamina runs right into the turnbuckle. Nikki hits the ropes then rolls into a crucifix, but Tamina hoists her up and hits a Samoan Drop. Pin for 1…2..NO! Tamina grabs the hair of Nikki then tags in Aksana. Aksana with some kicks in the corner then tags in AJ. Thank the LORD. AJ with a front face headlock, then a scissors lock on the hips. Nikki lifts AJ and tosses her. Tag from AJ, and she drops an axe on Nikki. Headbutt from Tamina to Nikki. Nikki on the apron, fires back with an elbow then a shoulder, then flies over with a sunset and pins for 1…2..NO!! Tag to Brie! Brie knocks off AJ, dodges Tamina, then hits a dropkick! Another from the top! Pin for 1…2..NO! Brie with a whip, but hits the elbow, then Tamina clotheslines Eva off the apron.

Tamina goes up top. She forgets to turn her head, so she Brie moves! Brie stands in the corner, Eva tags herself in and rolls Tamina up! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: The Bella Twins and Eva Marie
Needs more AJ
RATING: NR

Thaaaaat’s bettteerrr…..

-Commercial Break-

We’re back, and Triple H heads to the ring and says “You want to waste everybody’s time, and make this all about you again…”

Somewhere, there is a kettle being called black, and he’s all kinds of mad at the pot.

Big Show comes out all smiles. Steph reiterates that this is a settlement, without lawyers, and asks Show what he wants. Show wants a broom, so Steph can hop on for a game of Quidditch. Trips says if he wants to trade sophomoric barbs, he’s down, but this is more about money, isn’t it? How much does Show need? Show doesn’t have probs or money, this is about him being the best and performing for these people. He wants his job back. Triple H tells him he can stick his job straight up his….

Steph cuts him off. Steph gives Show his job back. Show does a Yes chant. Show says there is one more little thing. He thinks, to make the world’s largest lawsuit go away, he desereves the world’s largest bonus. It’s not about the money, he’s not worried about the money. He wants something he’s never had before. He wants to be….THE FACE OF THE WWE. Steph asks if he’s looked in the mirror lately, and this time Triple H calms her down.

The music of THE SHIELD hits….uh ohs. Big Show asks Trips if this is some kind of joke and if he realizes what’s at stake here as we go to break.

-Commercial Break-

Triple H apologizes for the interruption, and Big Show goes all Walter White on Triple HHHanks and tells him to tread lightly. He tells TRiple H he wants a title shot against Orton. Triple H gets in his face, says he’s got his job back, and he’s lucky for it. He tells Show to get the hell out of his ring or he’ll make him bleed. Show wants to know if that’s his final answer. Triple H says yes. Big Show says ok, it was nice doing business with him. He is about to leave, but says early tomorrow morning, his attorney will be talking to the Board and he’ll own all of this. Triple H wants Show to wait. He gives Show the match at Survivor Series. Show is atop the ramp now. He says he couldn’t hear Trips too well. Triple H says it louder, and it’s official, y’all.

The Shield is standing nearby the announce table, in case you were wondering like I was. Show gets back in the ring. He tells Triple H to try one more time, in a clear and coherent voice. Show turns his cheek. Triple H does so. Big Show calls him “Fella,” and that counts three different sources that Show has ‘borrowed’ from.

Triple H says since Show is employed again, he’s going to place them in a handicap match. So…The Shield and Randy Orton vs The Big Show….NOW. Does Triple H know what time it is?!

Match 9: The Big Show vs The Shield and Randy Orton

All four men circle (square?) Show. Show goes after Ambrose, but the other three attack. He’s cornered, but tries his best to fight out of it. Reigns flies in with a spear, and we get kicks from all over the place. Seth Rollins rips that swank pink shirt off of Show, looking like a Chihuahua pulling on a washcloth until the others help him. Orton conducts the group for a powerbomb concerto, but Show breaks away and chokeslams Reigns like nothin! He corners Orton, but Rollins and Ambrose attack, until Big Show hits a double suplex!! Show gets ready to attack Orton until….

WHAT THE FUCK! Kane comes out in a suit and tie. It’s CORPORATE KANE!! Big Show turns to see Kane walking down, maskless, and spiffy. This is distraction enough for The Shield to recuperate and attack.

Show is down. Orton is calling for the RKO! HE HITS IT! Orton calls for chairs, and Kane tosses them into the ring. Everyone attacks with Chairs, and we get a DQ finish!
Official Result: The Big Show via DQ

RATING: *

They attack for a while before Orton yells for them to tug Show out, saying he’s going through the table. Show is outside, and Reigns has some steel steps. He bashes Show with them, Ambrose and Seth lift Show atop Reigns shoulders! POWERBOMB into the announce table!! Orton talks sweet nothings in Show’s face as everyone else stands around with evil faces.

End Show (ha! That’s a pun!!)

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Tony Acero

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