411's WWF Raw Report 11.19.01
Posted by PK on 11.19.2001
Raw sucked, really hard...until the end....and even that was bad...
411's WWF Raw Report 11.19.01
Live from Charlotte, NC
Announcers are JR and ??
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* by The One PK
So, I picked Billy Gunn to win the Immunity Battle Royal, Eric Slusdlifisldfajsdljvhlisajkfski decided that wasn't a good pick....so he picked Tazz, the obvious choice...and Gunn bitchslapped Tazz out of the ring!!! OK, so Gunn didn't win, it did come down to him and Test, and no doubt the crowd would've popped huge for Gunn if he won! In fact, I got an email from someone agreeing with me...
"HAHAHA....I am just writing to say Eric Schwartsafartshasasexwithadogs or whatever the hell his name is came off as a total asshole in the Roundtable (pretty standard for the prick. i hate how he creams his pants over Al Gore and other liberals every 3 seconds and im a democrat). Anyway, reading the results and finding he only got ONE friggin match right, especially after calling you a mark for saying the WWF would win, made my day. I also loved how he ripped into you for saying Billy Gunn would win, then Gunn came in second. Your guess was a helluva lot closer than Tazz was. Please rub both these facts in the fagget, Hayette-wannabe's face every chance you get. Thank you."
--The Grandmaster of Punk
My thoughts on Survivor Series....it was predictable, but a fitting ending. Jericho didn't quite jump to the Alliance, and Angle came back to the WWF. Sitting in the bar, the whole place exploded when Angle drilled Austin, and that goes to show that the Marks out there seemed satisfied.
On to Raw...oh ya, big ups to my boy Paul, who is most likely working backstage at the Charlotte Coliseum
We start out with a video package, same as last night...except they show clips from the big match last night.
Earlier today, the WWF Jet arrives in Charlotte. Mick Foley was summoned to the jet, and he is let in. Him and Vince have a meeting. Mick wants a chair in the jet named after him. Vince suggested the Dude Love toilet. Foley laughs it off, and tells Vince off, telling him that he resigns. Vince tries to fire him, but Foley says that it doesn't matter, because the outcome is the same. Vince tells him the have a nice day.
JR opens up Raw, with no one in the seat next to him, and he makes sure we all know it.
Vince comes out. He says that we owe Kurt Angle a huge applause for his actions last night. He says the last resemblance of WCW is Title around The Rock's waist, which will now be known as the World Championship. He is also starting a "Kiss Mr. McMahon's Ass Club," in which any member of the Alliance can come and kiss his ass and try to be employed by the WWF. He also has plans for Austin. He now addresses the open chair next to JR. He asks Paul Heyman to come to the ring, Paul goes over to JR laughing his ass off. Vince wants him in the ring, and when Heyman gets in there, Vince gives out a nice and loud, YOUR FIRED!!! As security is carrying Heyman away, Vince introduces his replacement....THE KING!!!!
Trish Stratus (c) vs. Lita (w/ Matt Hardy) - Woman's Title They show Trish coming out of the same lockerroom as Matt did earlier...that was last night. We get a "Puppies!" out of King. Woman's match, blah. Lita goes for a Moonsault, Trish pushes her out of the ring, Matt puts her back in, Trish wins with a back slide.
Winner and Still Champ - Stratus
The last of the Alliance is chillin in the locker room. RVD, Christian, Test, and the Dudleyz (w/ Stacy). Apparently, RVD and Christian are there because they are WWF Champions. Vince comes in, he tells RVD that he has to face the Duds in a handicap table match. All three are surprised. That's next.
Lugz Boot of the Week: Jeff Hardy killing himself last night.
Rob Van Dam vs. The Dudley Boyz (w/ Stacy) - Table Match King says that he likes his girls younger then Stacy. Dudz dominate. Dvon nails a stiff neckbreaker...OUCH!!! Dudz get the tables. RVD takes out Dvon, Van Daminator on Bubba. Dvon back in, RVD has him on a table, and goes for a 5*, but Dvon moves, and I think RVD is dead. Duds 3D him once, the table doesn't break, so they try again, and the Dudleys win.
Winners - Dudleys
Kurt Angle is arriving, and he has a huge smile on his face. He talks to some dude, but I missed it.
Commercials...Smackdown: Just Bring It Commercial.
WWF and Smash Bros. cross promotion!!!
Linda is at WWF NY.
Kurt Angle wants thanks from The Rock. Rock isn't too happy that he wasn't let in on Angle's and Vince's plan. Rock ends up challenging Angle, for the World Title. I kind of missed all that too. Fucking Tony Hawk 3 for GameCube.
Stephanie and Shane arrive, they had to drive themselves.
Vince is back in the ring, he officially makes a Angle vs. Rock World Title match. He also notices that his kids arrived. He calls them to the ring. Shane congratulates Vince, he says that he lost to better man. Shane leaves. Vince now wants to hear from Steph. She says that she made a lot of big mistakes, and she blames the whole idea on Shane. She then says that Shane made her slap her mom. She pleas her case, and gives her puppy dog eyes. Vince has her removed via Security. Vince: "Say Good-bye to daddy's little girl!" Damn.
Vince confronts Jericho about him nailing Rock last night with the Breakdown. Jericho says that his ego must have gotten the best of him, and he is sorry. Vince says that he doesn't like big egos, if you have a massive ego, that's all right, but not big ones. Vince pits Jericho in a match with Kane.
The Rock (c) vs. Kurt Angle - World Title Angle bitch slaps the hell out of Rock. Angle Sucks chant. Angle nails the Triple Suplex for 2. Angle goes for a moonsault, but Rock crotches him on the top turnbuckle. Both men go toe to toe, but Rock gains advantage and nails a belly to belly, and follows it with a DDT. Rock with a spinebuster, but Angle fights out of the Rock Bottom, and nails the Olympic Slam. Angle locks the ankle lock on, but turns it around and rolls up Angle for the win. Angle gets up and starts to beat up Rock. Rock fights back, and nails a Rock Bottom. Jericho comes out and jumps Rock. Angle is now up, locks on the Ankle Lock. Refs come out to break Angle off him, but Jericho then gets on Rock and gives him the Walls.
Winner and Still Champ - Rock
Kinetica Slam of the Week: Test winning the Immunity Battle Royal...bastard.
Vince is back in the ring, he has selected one person from the Alliance to join the "Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club." William Regal comes out. Vince says that in order for Regal to get his job back, he literally has to kiss his ass. King: "he gets on the wrong side, he'll get poked in the eye." Right before Regal goes to do it, Vince says that it gets better, and he gets down to his buck ass. Vince then makes sure that Regal doesn't have chap lips, and gives him some Chap Stick. Regal then goes through with it and kisses Vince's ass. HA!
Kane walks, Jericho walks.
Regal is flipping out backstage. Tazz confronts him, calls him a kissass, Regal flips out more, and beats up Tazz. I smell a match brewing. I guess Tazz came back to the WWF after last Thursday.
Kane vs. Chris Jericho Where's the coffee??? This will blow (much like this night already has). I'm pulling my "Skip Recap" card. Kane goes to hit the clothesline off the top, but Jericho nails him with a chair. Ref throws it out. Jericho locks on the Walls.
Winner via DQ - Kane
Commercials....I don't think Flair showing up can save this show.
Creed video...extended version, like last night.
Angle flipping out. He crosses Edge with his 2 titles. Angle wants a thanks from Edge for saving his job. Edge says that he saved his own job by beating Test. Edge thinks that Angle played both sides. That if the Alliance won, he'd still be employed, and if the Alliance was winning, he would stay on that side. Edge says that Angle was only looking out for Angle.
William Regal vs. Tazz SLOBBERKNOCKER, SLOBBERKNOCKER. Regal locks on in the Regal Stretch. Blah...that was way to short, Tazz blows...Heyman was right last week.
Winner - Regal
Angle is sulking, Vince comes in and says that he wants to show how appreciative he is of Angle, and wants to know if Angle wants to be WWF Champ. Vince invites him down to the ring with him.
Vince and Angle come out. Vince thanks Angle on behalf of everyone in the arena. Since Stone Cold didn't show up, we need a new champion, one with class, and credibility. We need Kurt Angle to win the title. Vince starts striping Stone Cold of the Title, but Nature Boy comes out. Ric Flair walks down to the ring. McMahon says that he almost forgot, because Flair is almost forgotten. McMahon wants an explanation as to why Flair is in his ring. Flair says that he bet on a winner. OK, Flair starts ranting, and I think he says that Steph and Shane sold their stock to him, so now Flair and McMahon are partners. Grrrrrrrrreat. Austin's music hits, and he comes out, beats up Angle, beats up McMahon, and takes his WWF Title. Him and Flair enjoy a beer....how fuck-tarded.
Last Weeks Non-Wrestling Trivia: What is so special about cat urine?
"Cat urine is special b/c it makes a mighty fine chaser to a shot of Tequila, but then again what doesn't make Cuervo's nasty taste go away"
Ya, I hate Cuervo too...
"It smells like Austin's breath...And, I don't appreciate you criticizing Canada.."
No, I was right, Canada does suck, I was there once, I'll never go again.
"Cat urine is the only urine in the animal kingdom that has less charisma than Billy Gunn."
Ya, that's hilarious...I want to make it known that Billy Gunn is my favorite wrestler, he has been, he will be as long as he is in the WWF. Anyway, cat urine glows under a black light.
Non-Wrestling Trivia Question of the Week: How much does Earth weigh?
Non-Wrestling Fact of the Week: It seems certain rare individuals (1 in every 1250 men, to be precise) can ejaculate simply by concentrating on sexual fantasies – with no genital stimulation whatsoever.