411's WWF Raw Report 12.10.01
Posted by PK on 12.10.2001
It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter all over your testicles and have you dog lick it off...because it's your dog...
411's WWF Raw Report 12.10.01
Live from Anaheim, Cali
Announcers are King and JR
Report done *EXCLUSIVELY* for 411 by PK
"Dear "Bad Ass" PK:
You are, without a doubt, the single worst "re-capper" that I've ever wasted my time reading more than 3 words of. You can't spell, you have no concept of grammar, you can scarcely form a coherant sentence, and you think that making crude "toilet humour" comments makes you in the least bit funny. Not a single word that you have ever typed in your life has been funny or even entertaining. Not one. Your "jokes" are pathetic, and are so immature that 3rd graders look at them and shrug. I cannot possibly IMAGINE why 411 would leave you on as a re-capper. ANYONE could do your job better than you. Scott Keith may be an annoying, opinionated jerk at times, but at least he's a talented, annoying, opinionated jerk. You are talentless, dense, crude, and just over-all pathetic. Why even bother waste your life writing these reports? You ALWAYS end up looking like a moron, particularly when you try a "witty" response to one of your critics in one of your re-caps. You don't even know how to DEFEND yourself properly, and instead leave yourself looking like an even bigger fool than you did to begin with, Mr. "Ghetto Thug". Your mockery of the tragic death of Owen Hart and the paralyzation of Darren Drozdoff doesn't make you "edgy", "cool", or "controversial". It makes you a pathetic loser who needs to resort to stupidity such as that to get attention. And you know WHY you have to do such a thing? BECAUSE NOBODY THINKS YOU HAVE ANY TALENT, AND YOU THINK THAT NEGATIVE ATTENTION IS BETTER THAN NO ATTENTION AT ALL. Nice attempt at keeping your job, loser boy. Just give up and move on to the fast food industry where you belong, you no-talent hack. You are pathetic beyond words, a loser by every definition, and I can't imagine that you have any actual friends in the real world. Why would ANYONE want to hang around someone as lame and just plain stupid as yourself? Go back to playing your video games, kiddo.....it's all that you really seem to know how to do.
In closing, go to hell. Nobody likes you, and no one ever will. Your life
will consist of you going NOWHERE. Accomplishing NOTHING. No friends, no female companionship, no education, no real career, no dreams or aspirations. You will FAIL in life. And you will die alone. And when you do, I will be here to laugh.
Thanks for your time.
Every Single Individual Who Has Ever Even Glanced At One Of Your Pathetically Scribbled Columns, You Piece Of Trash.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Hi Steve...I know your reading this right now...How are ya? Please email me again, you make me laugh!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Intro....JR mentions something about Jericho winning the Undisputed Title.
Co-Owner, Ric Flair comes down with both WCW and WWF Title belts. He said last night that he would present the first undisputed champ with the belt tonight. He then introduces Jericho. Jericho comes out with a really damn cool shirt on, and thanks the fans. He then pulls out a list of thank you's. He then thanks himself for being strong, athletic, and talented. He thanked Rock and Stone Cold for giving it their all. He then thanks all the little people. If he didn't realize that we didn't damn, his career wouldn't have supernovaed. He then thanks Vince McMahon for letting the better man win. He then thanks Ric Flair. He then bestows the honor of Flair to present him with the Championship. Flair then gives him the belts, then informs him that he will be facing Stone Cold in a 15 foot high steel cage.
Lugz Boot of the Week: Taker choke slamming, and nearly killing, RVD for the Hardcore Title.
Undertaker vs. Spike Dudley - WWF Hardcore Title Anyone else wierded out by Taker's facial expressions last night? Taker in the ring, Spike throws a bunch of hardcore shit in the ring....trash cans, brooms, street signs...stuff. Spike mocks Taker on his bike, but Taker comes out and takes care of Spike. Spike in the Tree of Woe, Taker beats him down, until Spike crotches him with a kendo stick. Spike then tries to use trash can lids, but Taker gets the best of him. Last Ride on a trash can, pin. After the bell, Taker picks up Spike, then choke slams him over the top rope to the floor....OWWWWWWWWWW........
Winner and Still Champ - Taker
Vince arrives with Booker T. Flair comes up, tells McMahon of his idea with Jericho/Austin. McMahon then informs us that since Rock and Trish beat him and Angle last week, that makes them #1 contenders for the WWF Tag Team Titles. Hmmmm....
Vince shows Booker around the suite.
Angle comes down to a remix of his theme music. He waves to Vince's private suite. He requested this match on behalf of Vince. He shows footage of Vince's ass being shoved in Rikishi's "anus." Kurt Angle saying anus = Good TV.
Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi This is a rematch of a major match up, what match? Rikishi controls the match. Angle is down in the corner, Rikishi goes for a stinkface, but Angle bails. Angle stays out of the ring for a 10 count. Rikishi starts dancing, then Angle runs back in. Rikishi gets the best of him, then lands a stinkface. Rikishi starts dancing again, but Angle gets in the ring and beats the hell out of Rikishi with a chair.
Winner via CO - Rikishi
Dudleys are worried about Rock & Trish....sarcastically of course. Bubba tells Dvon to take care of The Rock, he and Stacy will take care of Trish.
Lance Storm comes into Ric Flair he wants to be part of the WWF again. Flair flat out says no.
Edge with Coach. He says that Regal showed up, but lost. He mocks Regal, in a British accent, holding up his IC belt saying "don't have one of this to hold your trousers up, do ya." Regal comes out of nowhere, clocks Edge in the back of the head with some brass knucks.
Lance Storm stops Flair as he is leaving his office. Flair still wants nothing to do with him.
Regal comes out saying that he is a new man, but hell, fire and brimstone interrupts him.
William Regal vs. Kane Kane begins to squash Regal. Regal on the outside, Kane to the top, jumps off to the outside, but Regal sidesteps. He goes under the bell table, and grabs his brass knucks. Kane gets the best of Regal for a while, but when Kane goes to choke slam Regal, Regal punches out Kane with the knucks.
Winner - Regal
Dudley Boyz (c) (w/ Stacy Keibler) vs. The Rock & Trish Stratus - WWF Tag Team Titles Dear God, please don't let Rock and Trish win. Rock starts out as a house of fire. Rock cleans up, nailing a Samoan Drop on Bubba Ray. Duds double team a bit, hit a huge flapjack. Stacy then pulls Trish's legs out and takes her out of a tagging situation. Rock fights out of a Bubba Ray sleeper, then gets into a fist fight with Dvon. Bubba accidentally takes out Dvon, Rock fighting both of them off, tosses Bubba out, locks on the Rock SuckShooter on Dvon. Bubba receives a spinbuster and a People's Elbow. Dvon breaks the count. Rock takes out Dvon, finally tags in Trish. Trish then goes to the top and hits the WASSSSSSSSSUP Headbutt on Dvon. Rock pulls Stacy in the ring, and a WASSSSSSSSSSUP Headbutt in hit on her. Stacy grabs her cootie. Test comes out, Rock and him fight on the outside, Duds hit a 3D on Trish for the win.
Winners - Dudley Boyz
Kinetica Slam of the Night - Jeff defeating Matt Hardy.
Vince gives a speech from his luxury box. He talks about how the Kiss Ass Club is closed, but he is know opening the Vince McMahon Kick You Ass Club. All you have to is cross the boss. He then introduces the biggest star in Hollywood, who just so happens to be in attendance tonight....BOOKER T!
Matt lacing his boots, Lita is over him trying to talk to him, but he doesn't want to hear it. He throws her out, and breaks up with her. Lita starts crying, and Jeff comes over to console her.
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy & Lita Lita seems very reluctant. Jeff and Matt start brawling to start. Lita is crying while in the corner. Jeff stomps Matt down in the corner. This match is almost as bad as last night. Jeff nails the corkscrew moonsault, follows it up with a double leg drop to the groin. Matt sends Jeff to the outside, Lita hits a Litacanranna on Matt, Jeff goes for a Swanton, but Matt moves. Lita tags herself in, Matt rolls her up for the duke.
Winner - Matt
Lance Storm still wants a chance to prove himself. Flair gives in. He gives him a match, if Storm loses then Flair never wants to see him again.
Lance Storm vs. The Big Show Storm with a baseball slide, and a plancha over the top, but to no avail. Show completely dominates. Storm goes to the top, but Show catches him, nails a choke slam.
Winner - Show
Booker T and Vince talking, the lady brings sandwiches, Booker doesn't trust those sandwiches.
"Beautiful Day" video with HHH.
Stone Cold (who is wearing his new "What?" T-shirt), ranting on how he wants Jericho and Booker T. He mentioned how he went down to Sonic, had a burger, a chicken sandwich, a chili dog, fries, tatter tots, 4 beers, a whiskey, a margarita, and a bloody mary. What?
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Steve Austin - Undisputed Championship - Steel Cage Jericho is hesitant to get in the cage, Austin loses his patience, and attacks him on the outside. Austin then starts beating him up pretty badly. Austin bangs Jericho's head in the commentator table, and Austin goes for a chair, but Jericho climbs in the ring over the cage, only to be meet by Austin. Austin stomps Jericho down in the corner. Jericho fights back, throws Austin into the cage. Jericho takes the pad off the turnbuckle, and goes to put Austin's head into it, but Austin fights back and throws Jericho's body into the cage twice. Austin goes to start climbing out, but comes back in to punish Jericho more. Jericho fires back, hits a Lionsault, and goes to climb over the top, but Austin gets to him. Jericho starts crawling out through the door, but Austin catches, Jericho then nails a Stunner, and again Jericho crawls toward the door, but Austin catches him again. Austin cracks Jericho's head in the cage a few times, then rams it into the exposed turnbuckle. Austin is about to leave the cage, but Jericho flips him the bird. Austin comes in, hits a Stunner, then goes to leave again, but Booker T comes down and slams the door in Austin's face, allowing Jericho to sneak out the door for the win.
Winner and Still Champ - Y2J
Non-Wrestling Trivia Question of Last Week: What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers i know i watcch wrestling but please dont use that as a judge of my intelect they weigh the same amount a ton..... --Moteo419
You stupid shit the answer to your trivia is simple both the TON of Bricks and the TON of feather weigh a frickin TON. If anyone answers this wrong they should be lynched by their balls and their heads should be fuck-started --snyderc
Well, I think that says it all.
Non-Wrestling Trivia for This Week: How many languages has the Bible been translated into?
Non-Wrestling Fun Fact of the Week:
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu (85 letters long) is the world's second-longest place name. This Maori name of a hill in New Zealand translates as "The Place where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, who slid, climbed, and swallowed mountains, known as a land-eater, played on the flute to his loved one."
This is PK, and I have No friends, no female companionship, no education, no real career, no dreams or aspirations....