My heart's not in it, Undertaker gets ambushed and the Red White and Blue Wolverines explode. Confused? You won't be..
WWE Smackdown for October 24, 2002, from Memphis, Tennessee.
Report by Brendan Johnston exclusively for wwwww.411wrestling.com
Let me offer my apologies in advance tonight, folks. I’m going on two hours of sleep as I had to write a forty page screenplay last night after play rehearsal. Went to bed at four, woke up at six and I’ve been going ever since, from my midterm to my chiropractor appointment to play rehearsal to this, so I’m whipped. There won’t be a pre-report section this week, as such because I’m too f***ing tired. If the report lacks some of its usual comprehensiveness and opining, chalk it up again to me being dead on my feet.
And now, on with the report...
The montage rolls, the pyro hits and Michael Cole and Tazz welcome us to WWE Smackdown for October 24, 2002. Tonight we get Edge and Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero for a shot at the new WWE Tag Team Titles.
Matt Hardy vs. Rikishi: Matt has a new “Version One” shirt that he throws at Rikishi who uses it to wipe his ass.
Lockup to a wasitlock by Hardy and some clubs to the back. Rikishi fires back with punches and a short arm clothesline. Matt guillotines on the top rope and hits a clothesline from up top. Matt slugs away and hits a neckbreaker but gets hit with a Samoan drop and Double Chin Music. Rikishi Backs That Ass Up and signals for the Stink Face but Matt low blows him. Matt goes for the Side Effect, Rikishi elbows out. Twist of Fate, Rikishi shoves him into the ropes and catches him on the rebound and hits the Rikishi Driver. Pin is academic.
Winner: Rikishi by pinfall (3:15)
Rikishi dances to celebrate but the recently traded and groomed Big Show comes out to chokeslam him. Show on the mic. He informs us that he’s seven feet tall, five hundred pounds, was just traded to Smackdown and is there to make an impact and that he really, really sucks. Okay, he didn’t say that. He throws down the gauntlet for WWE Champion Brock Lesnar. Show’s music hits and he heads to the back.
Here’s the two ways the Show/Lesnar match won’t suck:
WWE Champion Brock Lesnar arrives with Paul Heyman.
Steph is in the ring with a trophy to award to Benoit and Angle. She calls out Angle and Benoit. Angle won’t let go of the trophy. Angle thanks Setph for teaming him with Benoit but says he led the team and it’s his pleasure to accept the trophy. Benoit on the mic, says he’s the leader and he’s lucky Steph made the stipulation or he would have kicked Angle’s ass. They play tug of war with the trophy and clock Steph. She gets up and slaps them both. She makes a match for tonight to decide who gets the trophy.
And we’re back.
WWE Cruiserweight Champion Jamie Noble (w/Nidia> vs. Tajiri: Noble’s in an Elvis wig and does a bad impression.
Tajiri with a quick handspring elbow and some kicks. He puts Noble’s sunglasses on and does an Elvis dance then pounds away on Noble. Kick to the leg. Whipbut Tajiri telegraphs. Tajir counters the Trailer Bomb with the Tree of Woe baseball slide. Noble blocks the Tarantula but gets kicked. Nidia pulls Tajiri down. He goes to kick her but she moves andhe kicks the post. Back in , Noble works the leg. Tajir floats out of a shin breaker and gets a sunset flip for two. Noble goes for Tajiri’s Stiff Kick but misses. Noble mockingly bows but gets kicked. Flapjack by Tajiri as he sells the foot injury. Noble telegraphs off a whip. Pinfall reversal sequence ends with Nidia helping Noble get the pin by providing leverage.
Winner and STILL WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Jamie Noble by pinfall (3:49)
Backstage, Dawn Marie’s breasts look for Torrie.
And we’re back.
Dawn Marie finds Torrie and apologizes but says she cares about Torrie’s dad despite the age difference. But since it bothers Torrie so much she’s going to break things off.
Elsewhere, Eddie and Chavo spread scuttlebutt about Benoit wanting to kick Angle’s ass.
And we’re back.
Edge and Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero : Chavo and Edge start. Lockup, Edge gets one off a shoulder block. Arm drag by Edge, then a hip toss for one. SHoulder to the gut gets one. Heel kick, tag to Rey. Spear to Chavo, cheapshot to Eddie, Bronco Buster to Chavo. Springboard moonsault hits knee, tag to Eddie. Headscissors to Chavo by Rey and to Eddie by Edge. Eddie and Chavo use Rey to clothesline Edge. Eddie hammers away. Tag to Chavo. Short arm clothesline gets two. Tag to Eddie, cheapshot to Edge. Pumphandle backbreaker gets two for Eddie. Back body drop by Rey.Tilt a whirl backbreaker, tag to Chavo. Rey floats out of a backdrop and hits a dropkick to Chavo, heel kick to Eddie. Tag to Edge, who double flapjacks Los Guerreros Locos. Edge-O-Matic gets two on Chavo. Eddie catches the 619 and breaks up a cver off the spear by Edge. 619 and Powerbombs Away and Edge covers but Eddie breaks it up with the slingshot swanton. Chavo convers but Rey breaks it with the springboard legdrop. Eddie doesn’t notice because he’s playing to the crowd.
Winners: Rey Mysterio and Edge by pinfall
Undertaker limps backstage and tells a stagehand to find Lensar and send him to the ring.
And we’re back.
Highlights from No Mercy’s Hell in the Cell are shown.
Undertaker comes down to the ring and calls for Brock. Heyman comes out, says that Brcok retired Hogan, beat the Rock and beat the Undertaker in his own match. As such, Heyman, says, Brock isn’t interested. Brock’s music hits and he comes down in civvies and gets in the ring. Taker says tah ever since Sunday, people have been telling him that if his hand hadn’t been broken, he would have wone. But Taker says the hand is no excuse and the fact of the matter is that Sunday Brock had his number. Five yearsa go things might have been a little different. Five years ago, broken anything, Taker still would have beat Brock’s ass. As far as bringing in his personal life, well, no one appreciates head games more than the Undertaker. For twelve years he’s taken people out of the game before they even go tin it. He’s seen, fought and beaten the best. But Sunday, Brock was the best. Taker goes to leave but Brock stops him. Brock on the mic, says the personal stuff was supposed to be all about business, because he needed an edge against the Undertaker. Taker’s music hits and Brock leaves. Coel and tazz play up the mutual respect angle as Brock backs up the ramp.
Taker tells them to cut the music and starts to give what sounds remarkably like a retirement speech but gets interrupted by the Big Show. Show in the ring on the mic. He says that Brock isn’t the best. Show says that it’s because of him that Brock beat him in the Cell. Because for the last two years, Show’s been the one busting him up, giving him a limp and making him a broken down has-been. Taker says that if the Show is right- which he’s not saying he is- then he’d rather be a broken down has been than a giant who never was. They argue up the ramp and Show leaves first. Taker gives the salute with the cast, then turns to play to the crowd Memphis gives him a nice little ovation. Big Show comes from behind and press slams Taker off the stage. Some refs, Arn Anderson and Steph check on the Taker.
And we’re back.
Taker is stretchered out. Edge and Rey Mysterio help.Taker fights his way up and I swear I saw Dean Malenko as one of the guys trying to convince him to stay on the stretcher. Tazz and Cole talk about how he’s a proud man. “Ta-ker! Ta-ker!” chant starts. Arn and Deano Machino help him backstage.
And we’re back.
Backstage, Dawn Marie has Funaki fetch Al Wilson so she can “run into him” and break things off. Al plants one on her.
Billy Kidman vs. WWE Bland-Weight Champion John Cena: Rumor has it that Shannon Moore is trying to get transferred to the Bland-Weight Division but has been told that his entrance music, while really, really gay, isn’t generic enough.
Kidman schoolboy gets two. Enzuigiri gets two. Cena catches a plancha and posts him, rolls him in for two. Hard corner whip by Cena. Slugfest won by Cena. Spinebuster gets two, twice. Headscissors, clothesline and dropkick by Kidman . Whip to the corner but Kidman gets the boot up. Second rope back elbow gets two for Kidman. Spinning hurricanrana by Kidman . He hooks the legs and grabs the ropes for the win.
Winner, and NEW WWE Bland-Weight Champion: Billy Kidman (2:30)
After the amtch, Cena beats up Kidman, presumably to get his heat back. However, there was noheat to get back, so...
Mark Lloyd knocks on Brock’s door to ask about the Big Show’s challenge. Brock: “Where’s Funaki?” Ha ha. Brock tells Lloyd to say hi to Funaki when he sees him because he and Funaki go way back. As for Shwo, Brock will give him an answer when Show comes to find him.
And we’re back.
Benoit tapes his wrists as Los Guerreros Locos continue to sow seeds of discord among the Red White and Blue Wolverines. Eddie wants to be friends with Benoit again. Benoit says Eddie may have been right about what they told Angle before.
Show approaches Lesnar’s dressing room. Heyamn pleads for Lesnar. Damn, Heyman took a beating on Sunday and it shows. Heyman says no go on the match but Brock shoves him asisde. Brock gives him the title shot. Please God don’t make that the Survivor Series main.
WWE Tag Team Champion Kurt Angle vs. WWE Tag Team Champion Chris Benoit: Matwork to start. Benoit elbows out of a waistlock. Elbow off a whip Chops in the corner. Ang;e reverses a whip to a short arm clothesline. Suplex gets two for Angle.Slugfest and Angle stands on Benoit’s face.Chops by Angle. Cross corner whip but Benoit gets the boots up. Clothelsine and elbow drop by Benoit, back bdy drop by Angle, then on by Benoit. German uplex by Benoit, and another, reversed to three by Angle for two.Benoit floats out of the Angle Slam and hits a release German. Benoit signals and hits the Swandive Headbutt from halfway across the ring. It only gets two and Benoit goes to the Crossface. Angle can’t make the ropes but can’t. He rolls but Benoit holds on. Angle rolls over to put Benoit’s shoudlers down for two, then gets the ankle lock. Benoit small packages him for two. Angle Slam gets two, then back to the ankle lock. Benoit counters with the Crossface. Angle rolls out but gets clotheslined. Benoit goes back up top but takes the pop up belly to belly superplex for two. Doubel KO. Eddie Guerrero distracts the ref while Chavo hits Angle with a titel belt and rolls Benoit on top.
Winner: Chris Benoit by pinfall (8:06)
Benoit watches the Guerrero boys leave, confused. Angle comes from behind, Angle Slams him, and destroys the tag team trophy.
End of show. See you next week. I apologize for my lack of enthusiasm this week.