Big Show gets a Mattitude adjustment, two out of three falls, and this teaser line sucks. Confused? You won't be...
WWE Smackdown for November 7, 2002, from Manchester, New Hampshire
Report by Brendan Johnston exclusively for www.411wrestling.com
I have three weeks of rehearsal left for the production of Picnic I’m in and still need to get my lines down, my costume worked out and the rehearsal schedule worked so that it’s convenient for everyone in the cast, while receiving little to no help from the school we perform in. One of my best friends is home from the Marines for two weeks before leaving for Japan or, quite possibly, Iraq. Also I have a real job to worry about.
This all goes to explain why the pre-report this week is going to suck.
Tom Cocozza provides us with hip-hop news. This is despite Tom being one of the five whitest people I know. Read it anyway, or taste my wrath!
Raw... Lance Storm wrestled, Tommy Dreamer wrestled, Al Snow wrestled, Maven returned and Bubba Ray Dudley didn’t kill anybody. Thus the show goes down in my “Plus” column.
The Elimination Chamber is shaping up to be pretty cool, I think So do Tom and Dan, who’s a new guy in Stagers who occasionally reads this. Hey, Dan. How’s it going?
Also, I am currently the Undisputed Simpsons Chess Champion of the World, with one successful title defense to my credit. I rule!
Here’s something interesting for you... since I type this in Microsoft Word and then copy it into the posting forum when I get to the computer with the Internet connection, I realized today that I can use ANY font I want, and any size I want, because it goes to the right size and font when I stick it on the posting page. Thus I am typing this week’s report in the “DomCasual BT” font, in size 72, with Triple Spacing. I’m already up to twenty one pages and the show hasn’t even started yet. If only I got paid by page. If only I got paid.... anyway...
And now, on with the report...
Tonight’s Smackdown Soundtrack is The Very Best of Meat Loaf, tape two, side two, featuring Dead Ringer for Love (w/Cher) & Bat Out of Hell, even though ever since watching Cactus Jack/HHH from Royal Rumble 2000 with the Village People playing in the background, I’m convinced that every wrestling match ever should be set to disco music.
They show a Big Show/Lesnar video package, with the Worst Chokeslam Ever.
The montage rolls, the pyro hits and Cole and Tazz welcome us to Smackdown from... somewhere. I missed it. Tonight Edge and Rey Mysterio get their title shot.
Torrie Wilson & Billy Kidman vs. Nidia and WWE Cruiserweight Champion Jamie Noble: Lockup and flipping around by Noble and Kidman to start and Noble starts to pound away but gets headscissored. Kidman charges in the corner but Noble gets the elbow up and slingshots him. Kidman counters with a kick from the top for two. Noble gets a T-bone suplex for two. Nidia blind tags in and kicks Kidman around even though there’s no gender mixing. Kidman catches a chop and drags her to Torrie to tag out.Torrie mahandles her but Nidia chokes on the mat. Scoop slam gets two for Nidia, then Nidia sits down on a sunset flip for two. Torrie’s neckbreaker sets up a dropkick for two. Torrie moves out of the way of Nidia’s corner charge. Noble sneaks in with a clothesline to Torrie for some serious heat. Nidia tags out and Noble goes for a cheapshot on Kidman giving Torrie time to tag. Dropkick and back dody drop by Kidman. Fireman’s carry to neckbreaker by Kidman gets two. Noble counters a whip attempt with a DDT. Trailer Bomb countered to a Rydien bomb for two, broken by Nidia.Double team reversed by the faces and Kidman hits a top rope builldog to set up the Shooting Star Pres for the win.
Winners: Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson by pinfall (5:05)s
Big Show arrives and threatens an extra. Because he’s big, you see.
And we’re back.
Torrie walks backstage and runs into Al Wilson. They both need to talk to each other. Could it be about Dawn Marie? Hmmmm.... Al says that he’s always been a good dad and since the divorce, he’s been lonely, and tonight he’s going to do something for himself and he hopes Torrie understands.
Funaki, Smackdown’s #1 Announcer, interviews John Cena, who cuts a rapping promo about how he’s gonna kick Rikishi’s ass. Rikishi shows up and cuts a similar promo, proving that Samoans don’t have any rhythm either.
Steph watches a tape of herself and Bischoff. She took her hot pills again tonight. Good for her. Los Guerreros Locos show up to make fun and ask for a title shot tonight instead of Edge and Rey, since Eddie beat Angle. Eddie calls Edge and Rey’s win over them for #1 Contender a fluke, saying that even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes. Steph says no on the title match but gives Eddie a match with Brock tonight instead. Chavo argues but Eddie shuts him up and tells him when they’re leaving that Steph’s the one who signs their paychecks... and besides, she’s probably in heat, anyway. Ahhh, Eddie...
And we’re back.
Rikishi vs. John Cena: Cena talks some smack, and Rikishi smacks some ass. Single leg takedown by Cena and he poses Lockup to a rear waistlock but Cena can’t get his arms around. Rikishi bumps him with his ass . Cena works a side headlock but gets shoulder blocked. Cena shouts at Rikishi to “Come on” and gets a shot in the chops and some clotheslines. Rikishi goes for a butt bump but Cena punches him in the ass, hurting his hand. Dropkick to the knee by Cena and a backdrop.Punches in the corner but Rikishi shoves him clear across the ring. Clothesline to Rikishi’s back and Cena goes up top. Missile dropkick gets two. Cena goes to a modified Camel Clutch, Rikishi fights out and hits the Samoan drop, then Backs That Ass Up. Stinkface and Samoan chokeslam set up the Banzai Drop for the win.
Winner: Rikishi by pinfall (4:10)
Rikishi shakes what his momma gave him to celebrate.
Matt Hardy “Version One” presents Shannon Moore with a V1 shirt and chides him for putting sugar in his coffee, as a diet like that may lead to an unfortunate Twist of Fate. Hardy says he’s headed to Lesnar’s locker room and calls Moore “grasshopper.”
And we’re back.
Backstage, Dawn Marie asks Al if he’s sure he wants to ask that question in public. Al says hes already talked to Torrie and he wants to ask the question in the ring and... okay, wait... who is this guy that he gets to just go to the ring to make announcements?
Matt Hardy tells Paul Heyman that he’s requesting amtch with the Big Show because if you mess with Brock, you mess with Matt Hardy, “Version One.” Heyman thanks him profusely then goes to tell Brock, who says he wants the Big Show. Paul says that he’s the agent and he negotiates the matches.
Al Wilson comes down to ask his question. Tazz and Cole make fun of him throughout the ENTIRE thing and it’s worth watching just if only for this exchange:
Tazz: Look at Al!
Cole: Look at Dawn!
Tazz: Look at Dawn!
Cole: Look at Al!
Ha ha! They do it twice! HA HA HA HA!!!! Tazz says Al’s expression hasn’t changed since 1962. Al says if she says no, he’ll kill himself and Tazz shouts, “Dawn, say no! It’ll make for great TV!” Al gets “What?”ed as well.
Oh yeah, uh, Al asks Dawn to marry him and she says yes. Whatever.
Tazz begs for a commercial. Anything for my fellow New Yorker...
And we’re back.
The Big Show vs. Matt Hardy: Backstage, Mark lloyd tries to get a comment from a teary Torrie Wilson. She shoves the mic away and runs out of the arena.
Matt kuygs away and duskcs a clothelsine. Side Effect is blocked. Matt flaots out of a scoop slam but gets clotheslined. Whip from the apron to the post Show rolls Matt back in. Brcok watches backstage. Show thumps Matt in the corner. Backbreaker by the Show. Bearhug and Matt BITES SHOW’S NOSE to get out! MATT FUCKING RULES! He gets chokeslammed like two seconds later, but he STILL RULES!!!!!!!!!
Winner: The Big Show by pinfall (1:46)
Show on the mic, says he was the Next Big Thing long before Lesnar, and at Survivor Series. Backstage, Brock destroys the TV in his dresing room.
WWE Tag Team Champions Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit vs. Edge & Rey Mysterio- Two out of Three Falls: Benoit and Angle argue to start. Angle and Rey go first. They circle. Lockup.to a takedown by Angle. Headlock by Mysterio, to the corner. Drop toehold and arm drag. Rey leads Angle on a merry chase ending with Angle falling out of the ring. Angle mockingly claps for him. Boot to the gut and clothesline by Angle and Rey kips up. Headscissors by Mysterio, tag to Edge and Angle backs off and tags out. Lockup to side headlock by Edge and shoulder block. Arm drags and dropkick and Edge stomps away.Side headlock by Edge. Benoit whips out of it but telegraphs. Angle distracts and Benoit hits a backdrop. Tag to Angle, who stomps away and cheapshots Angle. Suplex gets two. Tag to Benoit, who chops in the corner. Cross corner whip but Edge gets the boots up and elbows out of a German suplex. Edge-O-Cution for a double KO. Tag to Mysterio, springboard legdrop gets two. Drop toehold in the corner. Angle in the corner. Double separ by Edge and the alley-oop Frankensteiner gets two. Powerbombs Away gets the first fall for the babyfaces (5:30) Angle in, Angle Slam reversed to an armdrag. Belly to belly gets two on Rey. Backdrop gets two. Angle tags out. Gutbuster by Benoit. Whip to the corner and Benoit works the ribs. Benoit goes for like a super gut buster off the top but gets bulldogged instead. Double KO and simultaneous tag. Edge is your upper-midcarder of fire, tossing Benoit and belly-to belly suplexing Angle . He signals for the spear but Angle moves and Edge runs headfirst into Benoit smacking him with the belt. Angle grabs the ankle lock for the submission at 9:00. Benoit and Angle get into a shoving match as we go to commercial.
And we’re back.
WWE Tag Team Champions Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit vs. Edge & Rey Mysterio- Two out of Three Falls: (continued) Benoit trips Mysterio up on the outside and Angle covers for two. Angle pounds away in the corner. Angle tosses Rey and Benoit works him over. Back in, Angle gets two on Mysterio. Mysterio reverses a suplex and hits a heel kick. Tag to Edge and he stomps away. Edge charges out of the corner and gets belly-to-bellied. Back body drop by Benoit. Back breaker gets two. Half-crab by Benoit. Edge kicks out and benoit tags. Cheapshot by Angle to Mysterio and he stomps away on Edge. Clothesline gets two. Tag to Benoit, who comes in and works the ribs. Backdrop superplex by Benoit for a double KO. Double tags and Rey dropkicks Angle.Cross croner whip but Rey moves and Angle spears post. Bronco Buster but Benoit German suplexes himout of it. Angle Slam blocked, 619 is blocked, but Rey sunset flips him for the win... but Angle had the ropes!
Winners, and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: Rey Mysterio and Edge by pinfall (18:50)
Angle and Benoit argue that Angle had the ropes.
And we’re back.
During the break... Brian Hebner restarsed the matc.
WWE Tag Team Champions Kurt Angle & Chris Benoit vs. Edge & Rey Mysterio- Two out of Three Falls: (continued) Rey srpingboards in with a double dropkick and gets backdropped. Benoit suplexes the crap out of him and tags Angle. Angle pounds away. Snapmare and tag to Benoit. Gutwrench suplex gets two. Tag to Angle, and another gutwrench suplex gets two, broken by Edge. Angle goes to a front bearhug but Rey gihts out and hits a DDT with some stank on it for a double KO. Tagt to Edge, in with a flying clothesline to Angle, flajack to Benoit. Edge-O-Matic gets two on Angle. Angle trips him up and grabs the ankle lock.edge fighsts out putting Angle on the second rope. Rey hits a 619 from the floor and Edge spears him. Cover and Benoit trie to break it up with the Swandive headbutt, but Edge moves and he headbutts Angle instead. Rey drags Benoit out and Edge covers for the win!
Winners, and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: Rey Mysterio and Edge by pinfall (23:50)
Edge and Rey celebrate ecstatically.
Jesus Christ, what a match...
And we’re back.
Mark Lloyd asks Big Show who he thinks’ll win: Eddie or Brock. Show says that he’ll win.
Eddie and Chavo walk up to Heyman and talk about how Brock can’t beat the Big Show, and then syas that he can’t beat Eddie, either. Brcok charges out of the locker room. Heyman flips out on Brock because he doesn’t listen. Heyman says that every big name in the business has either worked for or been represented by him. Heyman says he won’t be accompnaying Brock to the ring tonight and asks how he’ll like being the brawn without the brains.
And we’re back.
Steiner spot is aired. He only cares about his freaks and his peaks, you know. Holler if you hear me.
Eddie Guerrero (w/Chavo Guerrero) vs. WWE Champion Brock Lesnar: Los Guerreros attack outside to start and gets crushed. In the ring, Brock slugs away and thrusts in the corrner. Eddie treis to come back but no go.Cross corner whip but Eddie floats out. Brock catche shim and carries him across the ring for a Snake Eyes. Back body drop and Brcok tosses eddie around. Chicken wing Canadian backbreaker by Brock. Eddie rolls out but Brock tosses him back in and clotehsliens Chvo. Low blow by Eddie.Eddie hits a dropkik and stomps a mudhole.Eddie grabs the Lasso from El Paso but Brock powers out. Eddie hits a clothesline fro two.Eddie counters a boddypress with a dropkick and Brock goes into a berserker rage of no-selling.Clotheslines, corner spear, belly-to-belly suplex. Eddie in the corner, Chavo pulls him out of the way and Brock spears post. Armbar by Eddie and headbutts Brock powers out and HERE COMES THE PAIN! F5 ends it.
Winner: Brock Lesnar by pinfall (6:58)
Big Show comes out and press-slams Brock to the floor, just like he did to Taker two weeks back. Heyamn rushes out to check on Brock.