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 411mania » Wrestling » TV Reports

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411's TNA Impact Wrestling Report 12.5.13
Posted by Jonathan Sullivan on 12.05.2013



TNA Impact Wrestling Logo photo impactwrestlinglogo_zps682c0ae2.jpg


*****


An absolutely crazy intro video plays of a postapocalyptic future hyping the semifinals of the TNA World Title tournament.

  • THOUGHTS: This opening video was surreal and completely out of nowhere. Words can't do it justice, go find it on YouTube. I'm sure TNA already has it up.


-----

We go "live" to the Impact Zone and pan the crowd as Mike Tenay hypes Angle/Magnus and Hardy/Roode. Kurt Angle makes his way out to the ring to open the show. Angle grabs a mic and says Thanksgiving was last week and it was a time to be thankful and he's thankful for his health and the support of the fans as he quests for the TNA Hall Of Fame. Angle says the World Title tournament is the path to prove himself. He puts over his QF opponent Austin Aries, then calls out his opponent for tonight Magnus. Magnus obliges and we see a clip of him tweaking his knee during last week's main event, forcing him out of the elimination match.

Angle asks Magnus what happened last week, saying he left him high and dry against four wrestlers. Magnus says he has more respect for Angle than anyone he knows in the business and said he still backed Angle last week despite the fact he had been through a war a week before against Samoa Joe. Magnus says he simply hurt his knee and had to make the tough decision. Angle tells Magnus that champions fight hurt and brings up his own knee injury, then asks him if he really has the heart of the champion. Magnus says he has heart and hunger; hunger to be the best, to be number one, and to be World Champion. Magnus says he will prove it tonight. Angle says that he and Magnus are friends, but he's in the way of his destiny much like Roode and Hardy. Angle tells Magnus if he wants to be champion he has to go through him.

Bobby Roode comes out to interrupt, already in his entrance robe. Roode says he knows the feeling of having a heart of a champion then brings up losing to Angle at BFG 2011. Roode says in today's game you need to have a killer instinct to be World Champion, the same killer instinct he possesses and caused him to smash a beer bottle over James Storm's head and become champ in the first place two years ago. Roode says coming up next is his tables match against Jeff Hardy and tells everyone to imagine what he's going to do to him tonight given what he did to Storm during their QF match. Roode tells Angle he knows what he's capable of then tells Magnus he will never be World Champion.

Magnus goes to charge but Angle holds him back and the music of Jeff Hardy hits. Hardy grabs a table from the entrance stage and starts dragging it down the aisle. Hardy says in order for Roode to make it to the finals he has to make it through him and all of the creatures. Hardy says for him to make it to the finals all he has to do is put Roode through a table then leads his own "HARDY!" chant. Hardy slaps hands with the fans and that match is next.

  • THOUGHTS: A good opening segment to push the two big semifinal matches for tonight. Hardy leading his own chant was ridiculously lame though and unnecessary since the fans already like him and don't even need to be provoked to do so. This is going to be a fun match to start off the wrestling portion of the show.


-----

-Commercial Break-

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Match #1: Jeff Hardy Vs. Bobby Roode in a TABLES MATCH (TNA World Title Tournament: Semifinals)

Roode gets the early advantage with a boot to the gut. Roode works Hardy over in the corner with a series of kicks followed by a right hand to the skull. Hardy fights back with rights of his own and hits a flying clothesline off an Irish whip reversal. Hardy hits an inverted atomic drop followed by a legdrop between the legs and a seated dropkick. Hardy floats over a corner splash attempt by Roode and connects with a dropkick to the back. Hardy rolls out to grab a table, making sure to slap hands with the fans first. He seems really happy to be back in Orlando. Hardy places the table on the apron and Roode dropkicks it into his face, sending him back-first into the barricade.

Roode rams Hardy against the side of the apron then rolls him back in. Roode grabs one of the tables around the ringside area and slides it into the ring. Roode stomps Hardy then leans the table against the corner. Roode chops Hardy in the opposite corner then goes for a hip toss into the table but Hardy blocks it...and runs into a clothesline. Hardy fights back with rights, sending Roode to the corner. Roode reverses a corner Irish whip but runs into an elbow. Hardy goes for Whisper in the Wind but Roode dodges and he hits nothing but canvas (and almost part of the table).

Roode picks Hardy up in a fireman's carry but Hardy grabs the ropes and heads to the apron. Roode meets him and blocks a Twist of Fate attempt. Both men trade right hands, a table looming nearby to potentially end the match at any second. Both men end up going through the table and the bell doesn't ring as the ref tries to figure out what happened. The ref remains confused as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

The match has restarted during the break due to no one being able to make a decision during the commercial break. Earl Hebner had to make the decision to continue the match because he's the adult. Back to the match the action is back inside and Roode flattens Hardy with a spinebuster. Roode takes the corner table and sets it up proper. Roode gets Hardy in a fireman's carry again but Hardy fights out and hits a TWIST OF FATE. Roode falls back onto the table and Hardy takes the shirt off before heading to the top. Roode rolls off of the table but Hardy hits the SWANTON anyway because he was already up there so why the hell not?

Hardy seats Roode on the top turnbuckle and clubs him with rights. Hardy moves the table over to said corner, setting up for what he hopes is the finish. Hardy climbs to the second rope but Roode blocks the attempted superplexes. Roode attempts a super front suplex but Hardy escapes it...and instead gets crotched on the top rope. Nice tease. Roode bails to the apron and grabs Hardy for a suplex attempt since there's a table set up right outside. Hardy escapes with a knee strike then kicks Roode, who falls back through the table. Hardy advances.

Winner: Jeff Hardy (13:52, if you count the ref deliberation during the commercial)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: Good match with more psychology than I expected; with a tables match you just sort of assume high spot after high spot but they really sold the threat of the tables here. Hardy winning with a simple kick may not have been flashy but it did the job. I'm thinking it'll be Hardy/Magnus in the finals since Angle/Roode have their own thing going on.


-----

IMPACT 365 VIDEO: Ethan Carter III is getting the makeup treatment backstage. He challenges one of the greatest legends of all-time "this Thursday" and promises to make history.

-----

-Commercial Break-

-----

IMPACT 365 Video: Dixie Carter reads an email from AJ Styles' agent saying she'll be getting her World Title back "this Thursday". Dixie tells AJ he made her holiday happen a lot sooner.

-----

Ethan Carter III makes his way out for the next match. He grabs a mic and puts over his competition since his debut. Carter says there's one legend who has been in the ring with legends like Andre, Hogan, and Bret Hart and tonight he challenges this man. Carter introduces his handpicked opponent: Earl Hebner. Hebner, who was in the ring expecting to referee, is shocked and snatches the mic. Hebner says he's not a rassler he's a referee, so this is not happening tonight. Carter says Hebner is a subordinate, a man who represents the 99%. Carter says Hebner works for his money and he will be his opponent. Carter says he has a very special referee to officiate the match. Rockstar Spud comes out with Brian Hebner, yelling at him to get in that ring and to listen to him because he's the Chief of Staff. Carter tells Earl to lay down and he's going to cover him while Brian counts the 1,2,3. Earl refuses so Carter sternly tells him to lay down once again. Earl kneels down but then gets back up and Carter threatens him with bodily harm and professional harm, yelling at him to lay down once more. Earl finally lays down and Carter tells Brian to ring the bell. Reluctantly he does.

  • THOUGHTS: Now that's some solid heel shit right there. This was pretty excellent and a nice change from the usual EC3 squash. Still waiting on Sting to finally show up though.


-----

Match #2: Earl Hebner Vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter licks his finger and places it on Earl, then tells Brian to count. Rockstar Spud yells at him to take the fall. Brian reluctantly counts the 1...2...3.

Winner [via Pinfall]: Ethan Carter III (0:48)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: I doubt we'll ever see a match this amazing again in our lifetime.


POST-MATCH: Rockstar Spud runs in to celebrate as Carter forces Brian to roll Earl out of the ring. He forces Brian to stop so Carter can back kick dirt at his "fallen opponent". Brian rolls Earl out of the ring and Carter forces Brian to raise his hand in victory. Rockstar Spud happily claps.

-----

STORYLINE RECAP: Joseph Park & Eric Young Vs. Bad Influence, focusing on Abyss' return at BFG 2013 and Bad Influence dumping a bucket of blood on Park's head.

-----

IMPACT 365 VIDEO: Bad Influence are talking backstage. Christopher Daniels says people are going to freak when they see what they unearthed during their road trip. Bad Influence promises to reveal the truth about Joseph Park.

-----

-Commercial Break-

-----

EARLIER THIS WEEK: Samuel Shaw is on his date with Christy Hemme. She excuses herself to go to the restroom. Shaw signs his check then grabs the waiter, threatening him for looking at "his girl". Hemme returns and he returns to normal, leaving arm in arm with Hemme.

  • THOUGHTS: Awesome. Here's hoping Shaw starts "murdering" people; it would be ridiculous but I would high five TNA for having the balls to have a fake serial killer on its roster.


-----

RECAP: AJ Styles wins the World Title and leaves the company with it, defending it around the world.

-----

Dixie Carter is on the phone backstage and is interrupted by a stage hand who says there's a delivery for her. She gets excited about it and tells her to bring the person in. A guy walks in with flowers from a fan and Carter gets pissed, saying she doesn't want to be bothered by anything that isn't her World Title.

  • THOUGHTS: Nice quick way for Carter to establish her heeldom. Flowers are a terrible gift anyway, ask my girlfriend. And while you're at ask her when she's going to start speaking to me again.


-----

Bobby Roode freaks out backstage about losing the tables match earlier. Tenay and Taz then hype the remaining World Title match plus Bad Influence's threat to expose Joseph Park. We then cut backstage where Sting is walking around. He may or may not have something to say later.

  • THOUGHTS: THERE HE IS.


-----

-Commercial Break-

-----

Dixie Carter is backstage with a host of TNA roster members (including James Storm and Chavo Guerrero Jr.). Carter pulls back a black curtain and shows off four briefcases, announcing that next week will be a "Feast or Fired" match. Carter tells them to give her a great match and wishes them good luck.

  • THOUGHTS: Welcome back Feast or Fired, now do your job and get Chavo Guerrero Jr. forever off my TV screen. Thanks!


-----

Bad Influence "Expose" Joseph Park

Bad Influence make their way out, Daniels with the manila envelope in hand. Daniels says people got their "ovaries" in a twist about what they did to Joseph Park then announces they are ready to expose the truth about him. Park makes his way out to interrupt. Park says that all playing aside Daniels and Kazarian need to stop. Park says they've won and have accomplished what they wanted to do. Park says maybe he shouldn't have come to TNA and that he should have remained an attorney. Kazarian says that's funny and the manila envelope contains information about that very subject. Park instantly grabs the envelope and rips it up. Kazarian says it doesn't matter because what was in there was given to someone backstage and points to the Impact Tron.

An "Impact 365" video plays, with Bad Influence in Chicago to find Park at his law firm Park, Park, and Park. They make fun of his weight more then head down the hall. They ask for directions to the Park, Park, and Park suite but the lady tries to stop them. They open the door and the suite is not only dark but it's empty. They walk back to the secretary and ask what's up. She says it was a doctor's office but the man moved out a month ago. Daniels asks about the Park, Park, and Park office and she looks it up: the law firm used to be here but that was 13 years ago. Daniels looks on the computer to confirm and they're shocked that this is indeed true.

We go back "live" as Daniels berates him, asking Park what he's actually been doing for the past 13 years. Park puts his glasses back on and asks Bad Influence as human beings to please leave him alone. Park goes to leave but Daniels stops him. Kazarian says they won't be doing that and spits in his face, saying they can now call him a liar. Daniels connects with a right to the gut and Park drops to the mat. Bad Influence kick at Park until Eric Young runs out to chase them off. Young grabs a mic and says he's tired of the bullying that's been going on week after week then offers a word of advice: if they keep knocking on the devil's door eventually the devil's going to answer. Young then challenges Bad Influence to a tag team match next week. Bad Influence are totally cool with it.

  • THOUGHTS: I have been less than interested in this feud but this was a well-done segment. Bad Influence came off even more like jerks than usual and in the heel way instead of the "cool" way. Park was tremendous as well and I started really feeling for him by the end there. Looks like they're getting closer to the end of Joseph Park though and I'm not too happy about that. Park over Abyss, all day every day.


-----

Magnus is getting ready for his match as Sting tells him how proud he is of who he's become. Magnus thanks him for everything he's done for him. Sting brings up the "entitlement" thing and asks if people have come to Magnus about it. He says he didn't take it seriously. WHAT IS HE-whatever. Sting shrugs it off and tells Magnus to tear it up.

  • THOUGHTS: TNA is not being very subtle about Magnus turning heel. Also Sting tossing in his "entitlement" spiel felt completely disjointed and out of place, like he was forcing it into the conversation. Opposite of good this was.


-----

-Commercial Break-

-----

Rockstar Spud is on his iPad and says the delivery man is here! He sends a stage hand to go look out for the package.

-----

Zema Ion is ringside with his DJ equipment. He introduces the TNA Tag Team Champions The Bromans out to the ring and tosses in some airhorn to boot. Their opponents, James Storm & Gunner, make their way out next.

-----

Match #3: James Storm & Gunner Vs. *TNA World Tag Team Champions* The Bromans (Robbie E & Jessie Godderz) [w/ Zema Ion] in a NON-TITLE MATCH

Storm and Godderz start off. Storm grabs a side headlock and takes Godderz down with a shoulderblock off an Irish whip. Storm blocks a hip toss and htis one of his own then tags in Gunner. Storm whips Gunner into Godderz in the corner then Storm faceplants him. Gunner covers for 1. Godderz gets a knee to the gut and tags in Robbie E. Robbie E gets faceplanted then gets a right hand as Ion hits the airhorn in approval. Robbie E runs and Godderz tags in. Gunner tosses him into the ring and covers for 2. Gunner sends Godderz into the corner and chops him hard across the chest followed by right hands to the midsection and the skull. Robbie E runs over and pulls Gunner down by the hair (Ion celebrates with the airhorn). Gunner chases Robbie E back in and Godderz catches him with a dropkick.

Godderz works Gunner over in the corner, stomping him down to the mat as a "JESSIE SUCKS!" chant breaks out. Godderz elbows the back of Gunner's neck then connects with another elbow to the bridge of the nose. Godderz chokes Gunner but Gunner fights back and hits a fallaway slam. Storm gets the hot tag and hits the flying forearm to Godderz followed by the inverted atomic drop and running neckbreaker. Robbie E tries to intervene but quickly gets sent out to the floor. Storm hits CLOSING TIME on Godderz then gets the crowd clapping as he sets up for the Last Call. Storm connects and covers but Robbie E spits something in Gunner's face and he loses his cool, attacking Robbie E and shoving the ref to the mat to cause a DQ.

Winners [via DQ]: The Bromans (4:15)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: Nothing special, more about the Storm/Gunner angle I don't really have any interest in than the match itself. The Bromans also overdid it a bit on the airhorn. There's a fine line between it being funny and it being detrimental.


-----

Sting goes to knock on the locker room door of Kurt Angle but in comes Rockstar Spud to stop him. He asks who Sting is and Sting introduces himself saying Spud has probably heard some of his albums before (NICE). Spud introduces himself as well and prevents Sting from going into Angle's locker room, mocking Sting for coming up short in his last World Title match. Sting says "short" and stares Spud down. Spud says Dixie would kindly like him to leave but Sting says she will have to "kindly" tell him to his face. Spud gets a call about the package arriving then tells Sting to leave before exiting. Sting wonders about the whole "Chief of Staff" thing and yells "WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE!".

  • THOUGHTS: Sting's, erm, Sting joke was hilarious and Rockstar Spud played a good skeevy assistant. Sting yelling at the end made sense but honestly I don't think most people in TNA have any idea what's going on from week to week.


-----

IMPACT 365 Video: Gail Kim is kissing her husband Robert Irvine. Jeremy Borash asks her about the Open Challenge and Irvine tells him not to waste her time until someone challenges her that can beat her.

  • THOUGHTS: Irvine cut a pretty good heel promo for a guy who isn't in the wrestling industry.


-----

-Commercial Break-

-----

IMPACT 365 VIDEO: Chris Sabin is recording a video on his phone, Velvet Sky in the background. Sabin says he hit rock bottom after losing to Hardy in the QF of the World Title tournament but thanks his title for keeping hope alive (Sky thinking he's talking to her).

-----

Gail Kim makes her way out, joined by Lei'D Tapa. Her opponent, Laura Dennis, makes her way out without a pre-match promo from Kim.

-----

Match #4: Laura Dennis Vs. *TNA Knockouts Champion* Gail Kim [w/ Lei'D Tapa] in a NON-TITLE "OPEN CHALLENGE" MATCH

Kim gets the advantage right away and hits a neckbreaker, picking her up before the 3-count to dish out more punishment. Kim hits a running corner clothesline and Dennis crumples to the mat. Kim calls Dennis pathetic and shoves her before kicking her in the back. Kim picks Dennis up and hits a knee to the gut followed by a forearm to the back. Kim sends Dennis into the corner and chokes her with her boot. Kim kicks Dennis in the midsection and hits the running midsection crossbody. Kim strolls across the apron to pose for the crowd before heading back into the ring. Kim continues playing with her food, trashtalking her until Dennis slaps her in the face. Dennis fights back with forearms followed by a clothesline and a running shoulderblock to a seated Kim for the 1...2...kickout. Dennis goes for a corner splash but Kim gets the boots up then finishes her off with EAT DEFEET for the 1...2...3.

Winner [via Pinfall]: Gail Kim (3:04)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: Yup that was a match.


POST-MATCH: Kim gives Dennis another EAT DEFEET as a canned "You suck!" chant breaks out. Tapa grabs Dennis for a Samoan Drop but out comes ODB to interrupt. ODB takes out both ladies, clotheslining Tapa over the top rope and onto the floor. ODB yells at Tapa and Tapa goozles her, but Kim forces her off and they bail as ODB celebrates in the ring.

  • THOUGHTS: Kinda awkward to hear chants and boos come from a crowd that aren't doing either of those things. ODB and Tapa could be a cool hossette fight though so here's hoping that match happens soon.


-----

Shots of Kurt Angle and Magnus headed to the ring are shown. The main event is next.

-----

-Commercial Break-

-----

Dixie Carter is on the phone with Rockstar Spud. She asks where the package is and gets excited, telling him to bring it to her dressing room at once! AT ONCE!

-----

Magnus makes his way out for the main event. His opponent Kurt Angle comes out second. This is very enthralling recapping on my part.

-----

Main Event: Kurt Angle Vs. Magnus in a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH (TNA World Title Tournament: Semifinals)

Magnus backs Angle into the corner off a tie-up and breaks clean. Angle takes Magnus down with a waistlock then goes for the Ankle Lock but Magnus kicks him off and both men get to their feet, staring one another down. Angle grabs a wristlock but Magnus reverses into one of his own, turning it into an armbreaker when he brings Angle to the mat. Angle escapes and attempts the Ankle Lock but Magnus quickly slides out and bails to the corner. Magnus grabs a side headlock and keeps it applied when Angle tries to whip him off. Angle hits a back suplex but Magnus still hangs on to the side headlock. Nice. Angle whips Magnus into the ropes but gets taken down with a shoulderblock. Angle catches Magnus and connects with an overhead belly to belly suplex. The ref begins his count but Magnus gets up at the count of 5. Angle immediately makes with the right hands but Magnus reverses an Irish whip. Angle catches him with a kick but Magnus responds with a clothesline. The ref starts the count and up Angle goes at 6.

Magnus connects with a European uppercut in the corner followed by an elbow to the back of the head. Magnus goes for a slam but Angle slides out and they both take one another down with a clothesline. The ref starts counting both men but don't worry it's not another photo finish. Magnus catches Angle with a clothesline after they get to their feet, but Angle gets up at 5. Magnus clubs Angle back down and tells the ref to count but he only gets to 2. Angle and Magnus trade right hands as we go to commercial.

-Commercial Break-

Instead of returning to the match we go backstage where Dixie Carter receives her package. We then finally cut to the important thing going on just in time for Magnus to hit Angle with a bodyslam into a suplex signature. The ref begins the count as Magnus rests in the corner. Angle gets up and hits Magnus with one German suplex followed by six more. The ref begins the count, but Magnus gets to his feet and Angle hits him with a spear that sends both men out to the floor, Angle hitting his head on the metal entrance aisle. Magnus gets to the apron and Angle tries for a German but he hangs on and they hang backwards. Magnus escapes with elbows and Angle crumples to the floor. Magnus sets up and hits the flying elbow from the apron, Cactus Jack-style. Tenay mentions that Magnus doesn't appear to have an issue with his knee like last time.

Magnus rolls Angle back in and heads to the top turnbuckle. Angle runs up to meet him, and hits a second-rope release overhead belly to belly suplex. Angle tells the ref to count as he tries to recover. Magnus gets up before the count so Angle takes him back down and goes for a moonsault. Magnus dodges it and after some serious hangtime Angle hits nothing but canvas. Both men get to their feet and takes Angle down with a powerslam then heads to the top, hitting the flying elbowdrop. The ref begins the count. Angle gets up at 9 and Magnus charges, accidentally hitting the ref (UGH). Angle hits the ANGLE SLAM then yells at the ref to wake up. In comes Bobby Roode who attacks him from behind. Roode hits a Death Valley Neckbreaker and wakes the ref up. Ref starts counting both men. Magnus is up at 9 but Angle doesn't get back up so he wins!

Winner: Magnus (15:22)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: Angle phoned it in and Magnus isn't good enough to compensate for that so this ended up being a criminally dull match. Couldn't have been more glad when it ended.


POST-MATCH: Roode beats on Angle a bit until Jeff Hardy comes out. Hardy clears the ring of Roode then stares Magnus down to hype their Finals match in two weeks at Final Resolution.

  • THOUGHTS: Now that's a good way to hype up Final Resolution after weeks of bu...oh we're cutting to the back almost immediately? Fair enough.


-----

Dixie Carter and Rockstar Spud talk about the Hardy/Magnus final then fawns over the package. Spud finally opens it up (NOW SHE DOES?) and Carter pulls out a toy replica of the TV Title. Carter freaks out and yells "GAME ON!".

  • THOUGHTS: Why didn't she immediately open the package? Why did she move to a completely different location to open said package? This was okay overall and I dug Carter's freakout at the end but I was too distracted with the fact they moved locations for no reason. It's not like she was addressing the crowd or anything.


We cut to a "Friends of AJ" video. AJ Styles says Dixie now has something to put on her paper champion and the real World Title is with the real champion. Styles says if she wants the belt she has to come down to Gainesville and take it from him. And that concludes this episode.

  • THOUGHTS: AJ mentioned that Carter isn't well-liked in Gainesville so I'm assuming that's where ex-TNA guys go to retire. I fully expect a D-Ray 3000 cameo when they inevitably shoot a video of Carter trying to get her belt back. Not a great way to end the episode as this and the Carter stuff before felt tacked on at the end due to bad editing.


*****


OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: The segments themselves were interesting, with the Park/Bad Influence one in particular being surprisingly great, but the wrestling was dull so overall this was just an okay episode, progression be damned. Not a bad episode by any means but one that you can fast forward through on the DVR without regretting it.

-----

When not recapping Impact (almost) every Thursday for 411 Jon can be found writing about all sorts of wrestling-related nonsense on his own site Pro Wrestling Update as well as on Twitter.





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