411’s WWE Smackdown Report 12.27.13

You’re regular SD recapper is off, so I’m pulling double duty for a couple of weeks. I have a lot of fun doing the Instant Analysis for the show, but we haven’t had a full, comprehensive report since I started doing it to run alongside.

To that end, this report will be your usual move-by-move, segment-by-segment type of deal, then I’ll go into more depth with my thoughts and opinions in the Instant Analysis. I could merge it all into one, but that would create a HUGE wall of text and, if you’re like me, usually with Raw you read one (the report) then the other (Larry’s Tremendous Tirades). We’ll roll with it this week and see how we go.

Lastly, hope you’re all having a good Christmas holiday and that Santa brought you everything you asked for. Or, Happy Festivus to the rest of ya’s.

Disclaimer: Because the show is broadcast earlier internationally than in the States, that’s the version I’ll be covering. Usually it’s exactly the same as what is shown in the US, but for all intents and purposes every effort has been made to make sure that everything is covered from the show, in the correct order, and nothing has been omitted. If something is missing, or the order has changed slightly, then you know why.

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Smackdown for 12/27/13.

– Taped from Corpus Christi, Texas.

– Cole and JBL on commentary.

Match #1: The Wyatt Family (Harper & Rowan w/Bray Wyatt) vs The Usos

Author’s note: Whilst every effort has been made to establish which Uso twin is which, I may have quite easily gotten them the wrong way round, for which I can only apologize. After all, It’s not like recapping a Bella’s match where they can easily be identified because one of them has bigger tits than the other.

The Usos waste little time, knocking Rowan off the apron immediately and sending Harper over the ropes, before Jimmy (I think!) dives over the ropes and takes out Rowan on the outside. Jey tries to roll-up Harper, but gets 1 and then takes a mean right hand for his troubles. Jimmy tries to get back in but Harper nails him with a big boot to keep him from doing so. Jey blocks a charge in the corner, then nails a modified version of the Whisper in the Wind for a close 2 count. Jey with a superkick but Harper stays on his feet. Blind tag, Jey gets caught by Rowan and then Harper hits his massive clothesline. Rowan, now the legal man, hits a big splash to get the win.

Result: The Wyatt’s via Erik Rowan. – Really short but it keeps the Wyatt’s looking strong and the Usos made them look like beasts in the process.

– Bray hits Sister Abigail post-match on Jimmy (or Jey, possibly), and the Wyatt family pose to close the segment.

– John Cena comes out to cut a promo, bigging up the last SD broadcast of 2013. He made some new years resolutions, like wanting to star in a musical theatre production of No Holds Barred and making a rap album with Great Khali, and challenged Randy Orton to a WWE World title shot tonight. But rather than Orton, he gets The Shield, who waste little time in launching an assault on him. Mark Henry comes down to make the save but he too gets laid out by the baddies. Step forward Big E Langston, who comes down to make it 3-on-3 and send the hounds of justice packing. Citizen Kane comes out to make three matches for tonight; It’ll be Champion vs Champion as Big E goes up against Dean Ambrose, Mark Henry will square off with Roman Reigns and John Cena will pit his wits against Seth Rollins.

– We get the Batista video promo from Raw earlier this week.

– Rene Young is backstage with WWE World Champion Randy Orton. Rene praises him for how Orton’s 2013 went and asks what he may have in store for 2014. Orton doesn’t feel he has anything left to prove, but since she asked, he wants to enter the Royal Rumble, win it, watch the show from a skybox and write out his own induction speech for the Hall of Fame. Dolph Ziggler rolls into shot, quipping that he didn’t know they had a Hall of Fame for spineless WWE World Champions. Ziggler has a resolution of his own, to shut him up. Citizen Kane breaks it up before they come to blows, wanting to promote a safe and calm working environment. He books them together for later in the evening. As Dolph walks off, Kane has some advice for Randy. “I need to keep the backstage area safe. But out there in the ring…” then he walks off, smirking.

Match #2:Antonio Cesaro w/Zeb Coulter & Jack Swagger vs Cody Rhodes w/Goldust

This match was put together after Goldust faced Jack Swagger earlier this week on Main Event, where Cesaro tried to get involved and Cody beat him down allowing Goldust to recover and get the win. Zeb’s placard this week reads “Press 1 for English. Press 2 for I.N.S.” Cody starts by trying to wear down Cesaro with headlock take-downs and a front facelock, but Cesaro reverses via a hammerlock. Cody reverses that to send him to the outside and Goldust does his exhale taunt to draw the ire of the heels. Back inside Cody gets a roll-up out of the corner for 2. Cesaro then gets the upper hand with some rights, lefts and an uppercut in the corner, followed by a suplex for one and a modified crossface to keep Cody grounded. Cody makes the comeback and gets a reverse suplex for 2 followed up by a big clothesline. Swagger gets on the apron so Cody goes over and decks him, but the distraction is enough for Cesaro to give him a big uppercut from behind before rolling him up for the victory.

Result: Antonio Cesaro via a roll-up. Never properly got going, but it did a good job of continuing the rivalry.

Match #3: The Prime Time Players vs Ryback & Curtis Axel

Ryback starts off with the upper hand but Darren Young recovers and brings him to his knees before tagging in Titus O’Neil. Titus suplexes Young onto Ryback and also nails him with a big shoulder block. The heels get a blind tag and take advantage as Axel catches Titus with a knee to the back. Axel with some mudhole stomps, chops and a dropkick before tagging out. Ryback works over him with a front facelock and gives him some shoulder charges in the corner. Tag to Axel, but he eats a big boot. Hot tag to Young, clothesline and a big belly to belly throw on Axel and he knocks Ryback off the apron. Clothesline to Axel in the corner and a Northern Lights Suplex is broken up by Ryback at 2. The babyfaces clothesline Ryback to the outside, and Axel tries to get a sneaky roll-up on Young, but Young rolls through that to get one of his own for 3-count.

Result: The Prime Time Players via a Darren Young Roll-up. Right result. Good, short tag effort.

Match #4: Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler

They lock up and Orton can’t get himself out of the corner, so briefly bails to the outside to catch his breath. Shoulder block by Orton back in, followed up by his signature pose just for the hell of it. Suplex from Orton gets 1. Ziggler turns the tide with some rights in the corner followed up by a big elbow drop for 2. Orton then quickly pulls him into the second turnbuckle which knocks Dolph silly. Rights are traded and Orton looks to have won that battle until he gets taken out by sweet dropkick. Orton twice retreats to the outside to draw boos from the crowd, and Ziggler goes outside to take the fight to him. Orton goes to bounce Dolph’s head off the steps, but Ziggler reverses to do the same to Orton, rolling him back in for 2. Orton buys himself some time with an elbow smash to the face but Ziggler rallies back again with a dropkick which sends Orton into the corner. Dolph misses the resultant charge, and Orton throws him so hard through the ropes and into the post that Dolph’s head bounces off the ring steps on his way out of the ring. He just about beats the count back in at 9. Orton with some stomps to the gut and his knee drop to the head for 2. Dolph fights out of a chinlock but takes a swift knee to the gut for 2. Another chinlock and Dolph fights out of it again with a jawbreaker. Ziggler roars back into the proceedings with a crossbody, rights and the ten-punch in the corner followed by a neckbreaker. Elbow drop for another 2. Biiiiiiig DDT from Ziggler and it’s a whisker away from getting 3. (Quick sidenote: This is great!) Ziggler gets caught in the corner but blocks a superplex attempt and nails a missile dropkick for 2 more. Orton sent shoulder-first into the post…Fame-Asser! One, two, Thr– not today! Ziggler tries to keep up the offensive but Orton gets a quick thumb to the eye, and then the RKO quick as a flash for the pin, the win and spared blushes.

Result: Randy Orton via the RKO. Thoroughly enjoyable. Great TV match and both guys were laying in some stiff shots too, displaying a nice nasty streak.

– Orton follows that up by beating Ziggler to a pulp after the match, bouncing his head off the announce table, ring steps and the ring post before chucking him into the timekeeper’s area. He then drags him over the timekeeper wall and hits his rope-assisted DDT (or in this case, timekeeper wall-assisted) onto the floor.

– The Shield cuts a backstage promo. Ambrose starts by saying they’ll wreak havoc in 2014 just like they did last year, because nothing changes. He says Big E has bitten off more than he chew. Roman Reigns addresses Mark Henry, saying he may run the Hall of Pain, but tonight he’ll bring the meaning of pain to a whole new level. Seth Rollins says Cena is all about Hustle, Loyalty and Respect, but right now Seth’s all about putting his boot into the back of his head and driving his face onto the mat. Believe that, and believe in the Shield.

Match #5: Daniel Bryan vs Damien Sandow

Sandow with a shoulder block in the early going, but after running the ropes takes a knee to the gut from Bryan. Sandow recovers with some forearms in the ropes before tossing Bryan to the outside and then into the crowd wall. That gets 2 back in, before some knees and a scoop slam which sets up the Elbow of Disdain for 2 more. Sandow beats on him in the corner, but Bryan makes the comeback and backflips off of the ropes before nailing his running clothesline. Frankensteiner from Bryan, followed up by some stiff kicks, all of which are greeted with YES chants. Sandow manages to duck one of them and gets a roll-up but it only gets 2. Bryan nails one more big kick and then measures him up from the corner…Running Knee! One, two, three!

Result: Daniel Bryan via the Running Knee. Quick, but all good.

– The Wyatt’s are back to extend another threat in Bryan’s direction. Bray admires his courage and how the people have chosen him, the same way that he chose them in return. But he thinks Bryan has forgotten who exactly is controlling this inferno. For Bray is more than just a man, he’s a GOD.

Match #6: Big E. Langston w/Mark Henry & John Cena vs Dean Ambrose w/Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins

Big E starts with some shoulder charges in the corner but Ambrose blocks one of his running charges to the corner and nails a big clothesline. Quick elbow drop gets 1. Ambrose gets two after tying Big E up in the ropes and hitting a running dropkick. Knee to the gut from Ambrose but he gets caught going up top (shades of Ric Flair here) and gets tossed back down. Big clotheslines and a belly to belly suplex from Big E, followed up with his big splash. Ambrose recovers enough to chuck him out of the ring, and there’s a stand off between the other parties. Ambrose then barges right through his team-mates and drags Big E back in, but gets caught out. Straps come down…Big Ending! One, two, three! Shield 0-1 Team Cena

Result: Big E via the Big Ending. Good start to this little trifecta of a main event.

Match #7: Roman Reigns w/Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins vs Mark Henry w/Big E Langston & John Cena

Reigns hops straight into the ring for another stare-down with Big E, but Mark Henry comes in for his turn and we go to break. We return with Roman handing out some stiff rights, but Henry tosses him to the outside. Henry grabs Reigns and rams him onto the wall of the ring from the outside. That only gets 1. Big boot from Henry but Reigns recovers and nails the Superman punch for 2. Chinlock from Reigns keeps Henry grounded temporarily as Cena tries getting the crowd going from the outside. Henry powers out of it and gets a couple of shoulder tackles and a clothesline. Splash in the corner, but Reigns recovers again with a huge Samoan Drop, another Superman punch and then a MASSIVE SPEAR. One, two, three. 1-1.

Result: Roman Reigns via the Spear. Reigns continues to look impressive and he’s developing a sweet sequence of moves now too.

Match #8:Seth Rollins w/ Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns vs John Cena w/Mark Henry & Big E Langston

Some neat chain-wrestling to start, and Cena wins the exchange with a hip toss that sends Rollins into retreat on the outside in frustration. Rollins wears him down with a sleeper back in, and Cena charges back into the corner to break, but he misses the resultant charge and Rollins goes back to work on him. Sweet neckbreaker from Rollins gets 2. He wears Cena out on the ring apron and nails a boot to the head in the process for 2. Cena powers out of another sleeper with a clothesline, but Rollins stops him in his tracks again with a nice DDT for 2 more. He whips Cena across the ring into the opposite turnbuckle as Cole and JBL note that Rollins is completely controlling and dictating the pace of the match. Cena buys himself some time by whipping Rollins into the turnbuckle and then starts his traditional comeback. Two shoulder tackles, but Rollins back flips out of the Proto-bomb and sends Cena crashing into the second turnbuckle to kill his momentum again for 2. Rollins mocks Cena with the You Can’t See Me taunt, but Cena counters a neckbreaker into the Proto-bomb. Cena gets the Five Knuckle Shuffle and goes for the AA, but Rollins lands on his FEET, then gets flipping neckbreaker jumping off the turnbuckles for 2! (quick sidenote: I’m loving this). Seth lands another charge in the corner and sets up for another, but Cena dodges and then nails a modified full-nelson neckbreaker for a close 2. Cena goes up top but gets caught out, then Rollins nails a standing Sliced Bread #2 for another close 2 count. Cena hits the sitout powerbomb for another 2 count and by this point the crowd doesn’t know what to think, such is the back and forth nature of this one and the quality of it. Cena goes for the AA but Rollins holds onto the ropes. Cena drops him and tries to yank Rollins back off of them, who lands on his feet and nails a wicked enziguri style kick for 2. This is an excellent showing from Seth, by the way. Seth goes up top…knee to the head! One, two, Thr– Cena kicks out! Cena then gets the STF but Rollins makes the ropes almost immediately. Ambrose tries to intervene but Big E takes him out and sends him over the announce table. Reigns then hits Big E with a Superman Clothesline, but Henry tosses Reigns over the announce table too, sending him crashing into Ambrose. Back in Rollins goes for a top rope crossbody, but Cena rolls through it, nails the AA and finally gets the 3 count! Team Cena prevails in the series.

Result: John Cena via the Attitude Adjustment. That was excellent! A real coming out party for Rollins as a singles competitor, and kudos to Cena for allowing him to get so much offense in. Top, top effort.

– The babyfaces join forces in celebration to close the show, and that’s going to do it for Smackdown in 2013.

Over and out. More to follow in the Instant Analysis.