411’s WWE Heat Report 11.01.05
Posted by Scott Slimmer on 11.02.2005
Featuring the WWE debut of extreme play-by-play!
Hey guys and gals, I’m Scott, and this is 411’s all new WWE Heat Report. This is my very first WWE Heat Report for 411, and this is a special Taboo Tuesday edition of Heat. You’re probably aware that Heat recently became available exclusively on WWE.com, and I think that this report should reflect that change. The new video-on-demand nature of Heat allows me to screen each episode for you while still allowing you to watch all or part of the show after reading my report. I want this column to be a resource to help you decide which segments are worth watching and which segments are worth skipping. However, I also want to cover each segment in detail for those of you who do not have the time, the desire, or the ability to watch Heat yourself. I’m going to try and meet both of these goals by separating this column into a preview and a review. The preview will include the title of each segment, the tag line for each segment, the running time for each segment, and the non-spoiler bottom line on whether or not the segment is worth watching. The review will include a detailed description of all of the action in each segment. Okay kids, enough with the boring stuff. Let’s get to the wrestling.
The Preview
Segment 1: A Special Heat Tag Line: Val teamed up with Benjamin to take on Matt Striker & Kerwin White on a Tuesday edition of Heat. Running Time: 7:14 Bottom Line: The match itself is short but solid. However, this segment also contains one hell of a surprise at the announce table, so it is definitely worth watching.
The Review
Segment 1: A Special Heat
(Shelton Benjamin & Val Venis vs. Kerwin White & Matt Striker)
We start off with Jerry “The King” Lawler’s music playing as Lillian Garcia asks us to welcome the Taboo Tuesday commentating team. Lillian announces that the first half of the commentating team will be Lawler, but Lawler is no where to be seen. Lawler’s music continues to play as the cameras scan the crowd for almost a full minute. Lawler still hasn’t appeared, but suddenly his music is cut off by the EC F’N W THEME SONG! Lillian announces that the second half of the commentating team will be none other than “THE VOICE OF ECW” JOEY F’N STYLES. Joey Styles walks through the curtain at a WWE pay-per-view. And I mark out like a little girl. Styles seems quite impressed by the size of the giant video screen behind the stage. Or maybe it’s the fact that the giant video screen behind the stage at a WWE pay-per-view is currently displaying the ECW logo. Styles turns around to face the crowd and is shocked to find that this ain’t no bingo hall. The crowd starts the now obligatory “E-C-W” chant. As well they should. Styles pauses, puts his hand to his ear, and the “E-C-W” chant really gains some momentum. Lawler finally joins Styles on stage, and they make their way over to the announce table. They take their seats, put on their headsets, and Lawler says that he can’t believe Styles is here. Amen, brother. Styles replies that he’s here to fill in for Coach, because Coach can’t do play-by-play and wrestle at the same time. “Some would argue he can’t do either.”
“Ain’t no stoppin’ me now!” Shelton Benjamin’s music hits and Shelton make his way down to the ring. “Hello, ladies!” Val Venis’ music hits and Val swaggers down to the ring. Kerwin White’s sweet, sweet music hits and Kerwin drives himself and Matt Striker down to the ring while Nick Nemeth follows behind on foot. Joey Styles asks “do I really have to refer to him as Kerwin White?” Kerwin and Striker climb into the ring as Joey Styles remarks that “my short game is bad enough as it is. I don’t need a putter jammed up my anus.” All four men are in the ring, the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway. Shelton and Kerwin head to their respective corners, and it will be Val and Striker to start things off. Val and Striker circle each other before locking up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up and finally getting caught in the ropes. The referee forces the clean break and escorts Striker back to the middle of the ring. Nemeth distracts Val, and Kerwin runs across the apron to take out Val’s left knee while the referee has his back turned. Shelton rushes in to protest but gets caught by the referee. Striker stomps on Val’s knee a couple of times and then drives Val’s knee into the mat. Striker drags Val over to the corner and tags in Kerwin. Kerwin continues the assault on Val’s knee before quickly tagging in Striker. Striker jerks on Kerwin’s knee before tagging in Kerwin once again. Kerwin wrenches on Val’s knee and the drags Val to the middle of the ring to prevent Val from getting to the ropes. Kerwin continues to wrench on Val’s knee, but Val fights back with two stiff kicks to Kerwin’s back. Val finally breaks free with a kick to Kerwin’s head. Kerwin inadvertently wanders over to the wrong corner and is met with a punch from Shelton. Val and Kerwin crawl to their respective corners, but Kerwin makes it to his corner first. Kerwin tags in Striker, and Striker runs in to pull Val back to the middle of the ring. Striker hangs on to Val’s foot as Val gets back to a vertical base and catches striker with the enziguri. Val crawls over to his corner and makes the hot tag to Shelton. Shelton storm the ring and delivers three punches to Striker. Shelton attempts to whip Striker into the corner, but Striker reverses and instead whips Shelton into the corner. Shelton springs up to the top ropes and comes off with a springboard flying forearm to Striker. Kerwin runs in to lend some assistance to his partner, but Shelton catches him with a back body drop before hitting Striker with a back breaker. Shelton covers Striker and gets a two count before Kerwin breaks up the pin. Val runs in and sends Kerwin to the mat with four punches to the face. Striker tries to punch Val, but Val blocks the punch and sends Striker to the mat with a punch of his own. Kerwin grabs Val’s leg and drags Val out of the ring and down to the floor. Kerwin slides back in the ring and rushes towards Shelton, but Shelton sends him into the air and lets him drop face first on to the mat. Kerwin bounces back to his feet and is met with a hooking clothesline from Shelton. Kerwin rolls out of the ring and down to the floor. Striker rolls up Shelton with a school boy pin and gets the three count. Striker had a foot on the ropes and a hand full of tights the whole time, but the referee saw none of it. Striker, Kerwin, and Nemeth celebrate their victory on their way up the ramp. A replay of the pin shows that Kerwin was rolling through and didn’t even have his shoulders down for the entire three count. Val consoles Shelton on a hard fought loss. We finish up with Styles saying that it was a cheap win by Striker and Kerwin, but Lawler reminds us that in wrestling, like in golf, “any win is a good win.”
Match Result: Matt Striker defeats Shelton Benjamin with a school boy pin Match Length: 2:39 Best Spot: Shelton’s springboard flying forearm
Okay kids, that’s it for this special Taboo Tuesday edition of Heat. Hope you had fun. Feel free to email me with any comments or suggestions at scottslimmer@gmail.com. I’ll see you back here this weekend for our regularly scheduled edition of Heat.
