411’s WCW Thunder Report 6.28.00

WCW Thunder Report 6.28.00
Taped
Announcers Are Brain, Tenay and Tony
Report by Widz

It’s time for another edition of “I’m not in the mood to do a report!” We’ll see if the show can sway me

Nitro recap

The Chosen One and Smoooooth chat backstage. JJ has a guitar wrapped in a Hulkster shirt.

Thunder Open

JJ comes to the ring. Holy Slapnutz. Jarrett spews some stuff for a while, then the H Bomb himself comes to attack until R&B Security breaks it up.

Here comes The Leader Of The Pack, Top Cat. He makes that a match tonight.

Announcers. What if Horace were to win and become World Champ? Ugh.

MIA have a meeting backstage and stuff.

Commercial Break

Gene Mean with Who’s Better Than Kanyon? He’s gonna Kanyon Cut everyone.

C-H-A-V-O (means wacko) vs. Ragin’ Homo Lash Leroux
Oh good, Hugh on the announce team. Back and forth action. Nice cruiserweight action. Lash powerslams Chavo. Lash to the floor, Chavo FLIES at him and they collide. Back inside, Chavo reverses the Whiplash2000 into the Tornado DDT.
Winner: Chavo

Backstage Old Man Funk is dressed in a costume, and hits Johnny the Bull with a loaded cheese sandwich. Then he removes his costume and scolds Johnny for letting down his guard. It was either a loaded cheese sandwich or a shovel, who can tell

Commercial Break

Backstage Poppa Pump yells at the Cat, he wants a match tonight with Awesome.

Jendrack and O’Hare vs. 3count
3count is in the ring. They sing, here comes those two dudes from nitro. Double leap frog by the rooks. Back and forth. Tankberg arrives, notices 3count, and is upset he missed them sing. He storms away. 3count takes control in the ring. Looks like Shane and Evan as 3count. Both teams are down. WHO WILL MAKETHAT TAG? Jendrack tags O’Hare, and yes folks, he IS a house a fire. Jendrack does a tilt a whirl, O’Hare does a Shawnton bomb for the pin. Brain: I Tell you guys, one day they will name an airport after this guy.
Winners: Rooks

Tankberg is out, and has a mic. Tank brings out a green SQUARE, he brought it out to here them sing. As they perform for him, and he bops, Da Kronic comes down to beat him up. Then they go into the ring and beat up 3count.

Commercial Break

Kanyon cuts some cafeteria worker

Big Vito comes to the ring. He is upset about the Dragons beating him.

Gauntlet Match
Big Vito vs. Jung Dragons
Yang to start. Vito beats on him. Vito in full control. Vertical suplex. Pins Yang. Here comes Kaz. Kaz is NOT wearing the Glacier costume, to answer the question of all who emailed. Vito chops the neck. Kaz to the top, high cross body for 2. Vito to the top, does a Vader bomb type thing for the pin. Here comes Jamie San. He has a mask. Kicks Vito into the corner and then a dropkick. Russian Leg Sweep. Guillotine Legdrop. Big splash from the top for 2. Vito is up, mafia kick. Vito has a SINGAPORE CANE! Hits Yang! Jamie San to the top when Vito is distracted, missile dropkick for the pin!
Winner: Jamie san

Wait, the Jamie San that got the pin was about double the size, and SHOCKINGLY its Johnny The Bull. He tosses some cheese sandwiches at Vito and Vito is upset, but still enjoys the sandwiches as he walks to the back.

Cat backstage shows Awesome interfering, and makes Awesome fight Steiner tonight.

Commercial Break

Some gross fat woman does Miss Hancock’s hair. Daffney comes over and does it instead. Then pulls Hancock back and slams her, then puts makeup all over her face. And powder!

Perfect Event torment Woody, Kanyon comes over with a cutter.

Non Title
Perfect Event w/Woody vs. Rection and Stash of MIA
Four way brawling. Rection and Palumbo now brawl. Double teaming, and the Events take control. Shawn covers Rection for a deuce. Kronic vs. Perfect Event at the PPV, I guess the Triple Threat is off TV for some reason. Events keep Rection in their corner. They are in control. Double clothesline with Rection and Chuck WHO WILL MAKE THAT TAG? Surprisingly both do, and Stash is, you got it, a house a fire. MIA in control. Hugh to the top. Tony: This could be his move! Moonsault.
Winners: MIA

Chuck attacks with the flexer after the match. Here comes Kronic, they beat up the Events. High Times on Chuck. High Times on Shawn. High Times on Tony! No I made that up, but it would be great

Horace walks

Commercial Break

WCW World Title
The Chosen One (c) vs. Big H Bomb Horace w/no chance
Brawling in the ring. To the floor, and JJ in control. Horace takes brawling control to the announce position. Into the ring, sunset flip by JJ, but Horace pulls him up. JJ uses a chair or something, and gets a 2 count only. JJ sets up the chair in the ropes at the corner. Horace rolls him up for 2. JJ to the middle rope, comes down for a double axe, Horace hits a penis uppercut counter. Grabs the chair, goes after JJ, ref grabs it, Horace fights, JJ hits some kind of Stroke at that time.
Winner: JJ

After the match, JJ gets the Hogan shirt from his guitar, puts it on Horace and mocks Hogan. Horace tries to attack Jarrett, who hits the acoustic equalizer.

Vamp walks around backstage with a bat. There is a Sting Mask in his room, and he flips out.

Commercial Break

Vamp out for a weird promo. Crowd chants Sting, and Vamp gets pissed. He rants and raves, and then the lights go out, and in the ring is a hooded figure. One is Asya. The other is Dale with a bat, and he beats down Vamp. Then some Sting manakin is on the Thunder Vision.

Gene Mean with Lance and Kidman. Lance doesn’t scream, and in Calgary… Alberta Canada all you have to do is wrestle. Kidman calls himself the Kid. They leave, then the camera falls. Whoops its Kanyon, he cut the cameraman.

Commercial Break

Kanyon sneaking around, and Shane finds him to tell him the book is great. Shane tells Kanyon that Buff said the Blockbuster is better than the Kanyon Cutter.

You Can’t Powerbomb Kidman and Lance Storm vs. Baggie Pants Jr. and Da Juice
Lance and Juvi to start. Animals double team and Storm is down. Tag to the Kid. Short powerbomb by Kidman on Juvi. Kidman to the top, Rey knocks him down. Rey is in, and goes for a top rope rana, hits a top rope bulldog instead. Kidman and Juvi now go back and forth. Wild action, Kidman is being double teamed- Juvi holds for a Rey guillotine legdrop to the crotch. Juvi signals for the people’s elbow, but Kidman moves and Storm hits a dropkick. Storm with a cool sit-down powerbomb as Kidman comes from the top with a big splash. That match kicked ass. I’d love to see them as tag champs.
Winner: Storm and Kidman

Commercial Break

Tygress vs. Paisley
Yeah, I’m doing TONS of commentary for this. We want puppies chant. I’m chanting “Get off my TV” to myself. Ok, you got me, I was actually doing it out loud.
Winner: Paisley

Buff trains

Commercial Break

Buff Should Be Shot vs. Who’s Better Than Kanyon
Someone has a Page book, and Kanyon rips it up. Back and forth brawling in the ring. Kanyon in control and crowd chants Buff. Vertical suplex by Kanyon. Kanyon with a Russian Legsweep. Kanyon in control. Buff to the top, Kanyon cuts the ref for some reason, Buff hits a cross body, but a new ref comes down and calls off the match.
Winner by DQ: Buff

Brawling continues after the match, Kanyon uses the brick from inside his book. He then goes to read his book, and here comes GI Bro to beat down Kanyon. He raises the roof! Axe kick! Sends Kanyon to the floor. Booker helps up Buff, and they dance together.

Awesome walks

Steiner trains

Commercial Break

Career Killer Mike Awesome vs. Big Poppa Pump w/Midajah
Brawling starts in the crowd, comes back to the ring. Brawling to the floor. Steiner whipped into the STEEEEEEEEEEEL railing. Awesome uses a steel chair as well. Back to the ring. Awesome to the top, flying clothesline! Awesome to the top, Steiner hits a belly to belly. Brawling. Steiner with a t bone suplex. Goes for the Recliner, but here comes Top Cat. He says break the hold, Cat knocks out the ref, then hits Steiner with the US Title. Cat takes off his shirt to reveal a ref shirt, and counts Steiner down.
Winner: Awesome

Is this non title? I guess so. Awesome stomps Steiner as we fade.